* Posts by Someone Else

1006 posts • joined 9 Dec 2009

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What do China, FBI and UK have in common? All three want backdoors in Western technology

Someone Else
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Mushroom

Dear Middle Kingdom: Here's a hammer, there's the beach

The Chinese government wants backdoors added to all technology imported into the Middle Kingdom as well as all its source code handed over.

Yes, and I want the next three weeks of winning lottery tickets, too. What are my chances?

In a sane world, producers would unite and with a single, unwavering voice, tell the Chinese to pound sand. But I'm afraid that corporatists, being the pussies that they are, will happily capitulate, and only whimper, "How far?" when told to bend over.

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Let's be clear, everyone: DON'T BLOCK Wi-Fi, DUH – FCC official ruling

Someone Else
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FAIL

@ Grease Monkey

Ever try to use hotel Wi-Fi at a hotel near a trade show venue, where the trade show is populated with geek types? I have...it ain't pretty. Assuming you can get a connection at all, it saunters along at something like 5kbs (that's kilobits per second)...if you're lucky. The hotel has only installed sufficient Wi-Fi to support an "average load", which fails miserably at full utilization. (Yeah, they could build it out, but that would cost money, dammit!) Your cell service, however, has (in general..there are exceptions) pretty thoroughly built out the infrastructure in the area of such a venue to handle the full load. Result: Access to the intertubes via your cell hotspot, and a big fat zippo from your friendly neighborhood hotel Wi-Fi.

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FTC to Internet of Stuff: Security, motherf****r, do you speak it?

Someone Else
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Mushroom

Free Market my ass (or arse, for the Brits in the crowd)!

The whole concept of a "free market"TM (and all the political bullshit that accompanies said buzzword) ends the microsecond that market involves me becoming the product.

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Someone Else
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FAIL

Given that, for example, home router makers are so slow to patch security vulnerabilities in firmware, what luck does anyone have fixing critical flaws in their IoT light switches, boilers and shoes?

If I have to worry about critical flaws in the security of my shoes, I'm going to change jobs and learn the fine old (if lost) craft of being a cobbler, so I can disable my shoes' IoT nonsense without getting my feet cold. I suspect I will do a fine business with others' shoes as well

Stupidest thing I've heard of in months (which , of course assures some Corporate nimrod will do it).

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Wall St wolves tear chunk off Microsoft: There goes $30bn!

Someone Else
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Re: That does it!

Those yutzes wouldn't be able to figure out ME...

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Erik Meijer: AGILE must be destroyed, once and for all

Someone Else
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WTF?

Not so rare, methinks...

It would be great to hire lots of Erik Meijers, put them in cubicles and let them write perfect code all day [...]

You think the likes of an Erik Meijer can write perfect code? Puh-fukin-LEEEZE already!

Can I have some of what you're smoking...It must be really great shit, Mrs. Preske!

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Someone Else
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WTF?

Legend?!?

Erik Meijer is a legend?!? Manure. Edger Dijkestra is a legend. Vint Cerf is a legend. Even "Uncle Bob" Martin is a legend. Erik Meijer is a coder.

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Someone Else
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Alert

Having watched the talk Erik strikes me as just too much of a pure programmer - he considers any minute not spent hands-to-keyboards churning out [potentially broken] code; including any time spent by non-programmers, as a wasted one.

He's a coder. Coders are OK, for what they are, and they have use in an organization. I find that I prefer working with engineers. Erik is no engineer.

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Someone Else
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FAIL

What is wrong with Agile? Meijer’s thesis is that “we talk too much about code, we don’t write enough code.”

This can be translated from whatever language Meijer speaks into: "I want less yack, and more hack!"

A Product Manager type (read: marketdroid) actually stood up and said this in an engineering meeting where the team was wrestling mightily trying to understand the gibberish that this same marketdroid was trying to pass off as specifications. Said marketdroid was shortly shown the door. One can hope that Meijer meets the same fate.

Moron.

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Welcome to Spartan, Microsoft's persuasive argument for... Chrome

Someone Else
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@AC -- Re: So negative, ms bashing again!

First it was Insecure Exposer, now Sputum. I like it!

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Someone Else
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Choices, Choices, Choices...

And what if you’re building for this so-called “modern” web while also working with legacy IT apps using Active X? Which browser should you use? And what if you bet on Spartan and Microsoft kills it for IE, or you pick IE and Microsoft kills IE for Spartan?

How about you simply build to, oh... I dunno...say, some W3C standard, and be done with it?

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Top US privacy bod: EU should STOP appeasing whiny consumers

Someone Else
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Julie Brill:

Can you say, "Pot. Kettle. Black?" I knew you could.

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Microsoft will give away Windows 10 FREE - for ONE year

Someone Else
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@ Andy -- Re: Options...

Nope...simply fat-fingered typing "nigh"

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Someone Else
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Re: Options...

And we can switch it off easily?

To quote Robin Williams, "Fuck NOOOOooo!" They'll build it into Ring 0 just like they did with GDI, so as to "improve performance"...and make it neigh on impossible to be rid of. (After all, it listens to your conversations, doesn't it? Why would Micros~1, or any of its TLA "sponsors", want you to shut the thing off?)

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Someone Else
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Re: I'm free!

Interesting that they didn't include WinXP in the list of starter platforms. Seems to me that, if they really, really wanted to do away with XP once and for all, they'd be targeting it with this offer from the outset.

But then, my daddy didn't raise me to be a marketdroid, so ....

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Pull up the Windows 10 duvet and pretend Win8 and Vista were BAD DREAMS

Someone Else
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Devil

@ Stuart Longland -- Re: Have you actually used PowerShell to automate GUI operations?

Actually, the command was "win". Rather ironic since I didn't get that winning feeling when the Program Manager appeared.

In the name of Truth in Advertising, I always renamed the file to lose

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Someone Else
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@ Kubla Cant -- Re: Not too sure

Windows was launched with a crap command interface inherited from MS-DOS, which they've tried and failed to enhance with obscure extensions.

There...FTFY

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Someone Else
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Each time there’s a new version of Windows, Microsoft bills it as “the best Windows yet," understandably enough.

And each time, equally understandably, they're wrong.

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Whisper keeping schtum over abuse of user data

Someone Else
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Truer words ...

He then released an email string [PDF] between Whisper executives and the out-house lawyers [...]

Outhouse lawyers. Something oddly redundant (and startling true) about that phrase....

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Latest menace to internet economy: Gators EATING all the PUSSIES

Someone Else
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Re: Send in Mick Dundee!

Actually, I thought the whole story was a croc...

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US drug squad cops: We snooped on innocent Americans' phone calls too!

Someone Else
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WTF?

Re: Who isn't slurping up metadata in the Land of the Free?

And we know this how? Because you said so?

Hmmmmm...

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Just WHY is the FBI so sure North Korea hacked Sony? NSA: *BLUSH*

Someone Else
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Re: Lie after lie after lie...

Let's not call them lies, that sounds far too negative. How about "An Orchestrated Litany of Fearmongering" instead?

Hmmm...'OLOF'. That works.

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Comcast sued for – you guessed it – allegedly SCREWING OVER CUSTOMERS

Someone Else
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FAIL

Re: What I want to know is...

Perhaps the answer lies (snork! see what you did there...) in their list of political contributions. Just sayin'....

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DAMN YOU! Microsoft blasts Google over zero-day blabgasm

Someone Else
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Headmaster

“What’s right for Google is not always right for customersthe Product. We urge Google to make protection of customersthe Product our collective primary goal,” he adds.

There...FTFY

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Boybanders ONE DIRECTION launch DoS attack on open-source bods

Someone Else
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Mushroom

@ Daniele Procida -- Re: Won't somebody please think of the...

[...] and in return we hope they'll be willing to play a few songs for us during the code sprints.

Danielle, you heart (such as it is) may be in the right place, but that last damn thing I'd need while coding is that caterwauling going on the background. Doing that will give Django a bad name that will last forever!

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Someone Else
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Re: It's one way to get publicity

You mean His Eternal Roundness, Kim Bac-un.

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FBI boss: Sony hack was DEFINITELY North Korea, haters gonna hate

Someone Else
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Devil

What he REALLY said was...

"There is not much in life I have high confidence about," he said. "I have very high confidence in that attribution."

And then he said, "...because that's what my overlords want me to have high confidence about, and I do what my overlords tell me".

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Ex-Microsoft Bug Bounty dev forced to decrypt laptop for Paris airport official

Someone Else
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Headmaster

@ Diogenes -- Re: Meh

That comment could have him arrested in some jurisdictions - must offend the great security deitystage manager.

There, FTFY. To assign deity status on anything that passes for "security" these days is an insult to deities everywhere.

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GCHQ: We can't track crims any more thanks to Snowden

Someone Else
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Devil

Re: Too eager to share

Or, the stupid yanks should have played by the rules from the git-go, and Snowden would have had nothing to report.

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Google's first stab at control-free ROBOT car rolls off the line

Someone Else
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@sandman

All this is irrelevant, it looks like it was designed by a three year old with a broken crayon.

They must be using Microsoft's UX "developers" then?

Sorry...company just "updated" to Orifice 2013, and I've been wrestling with that unusable pile of ADHD-designed shit for the last couple of days now, and it has really soured my mood. Note to company's IS staff: When going to replace perfectly good line-of-business software with the latest pile "shiny" from Micros~1's brain-dead developers, please wait until after the nearest holiday, so that we don't all go into said holiday all pissed off.

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Someone Else
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FAIL

@Graham 24

The key phrase here is: "The pilot tells the computer what he wants the plane to do and the computer tells the flight control surfaces how to move." (emphasis added).

And, BTW, one of my cars do not have ABS. But for all those that do, I (the "pilot", if you will...or even if you won't) have the option to disable it at my choice, for whatever reason I choose, whenever I choose.

Computer assists are all well and good. However, please notice the key word here is assist. All the "examples" you presented are examples of computer assists. And guess who the computer is assisting? Anyone...Buehler....?

(And as for taking a bike or walking...no, I'd rather drive myself, thanks....)

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Someone Else
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Re: "We have arrived Sir."

Dear Car-

Don't help. You're not smart enough to help (in spite of what your makers might have you think...).

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Someone Else
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FAIL

No. Fuckin'. Way.

And anybody who works (or claims to work) in IT, software engineering, firmware engineering, or any even remotely related field knows why, too!

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Nork-ribbing flick The Interview AXED: Sony caves under hack terror 'menace'

Someone Else
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Devil

Re: Thank God for the NSA's Internet surveillance program

Unfortunately, we will probably now see other hacker collectives/state-sponsored hackers trying to stifle free speech and thought, now that The Interview has been forced out of the theaters.

I expect as much once the sequel to Erin Brockovich is slated for release.

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Sony sued by ex-staff over daft security, leaked privates

Someone Else
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@ecofeco

Hmmm..."Bain & Co." Name sounds familiar... Say, wasn't that run by a feller named Mitt?

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Someone Else
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@Ann o'NymousRe: Too early to judge

As I've said before on El Reg, faced with using $100m to fix your security and get (ostensibly) $0 or the same $100m to spend on a new movie and get $1bn back, I know which one Sony Pictures board would go for. And it's financially sound to do so (from the point of view of maxing shareholder value).

I thought Sony made movies, not this mythological substance "shareholder value".... Silly me!

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Someone Else
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Delicious irony?

It would be quite a hoot if the defendants in this case were to retain Boies, Schiller & Flexner LLP as their law firm. (This is the same firm that sent out threatening letters to various media outlets warning them not to publish any information about the hack, or else....)

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Sony to media: stop publishing our stolen stuff or we'll get nasty

Someone Else
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WTF?

Re: "arms length" defense?

That works right up until you get the official letter from Sony.

The "official letter" is bollocks (bullshit, for our American readers). Boies is a good lawyer, but I don't think he will want to get into a 1st Amendment mix-up, especially when this is a clear attempt at prior restraint, which the Supremes have repeatedly rejected.

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Someone Else
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...by Paramount...

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Someone Else
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Dear Sony...

15 Dec 14

Sony Pictures Entertainment

12345 Password Ln.

Hollywood, CA

Dear Sony:

With respect to your attempt at intimidation in the form of a letter from Boies, Schiller & Flexner LLP, we have given full and due consideration to said letter, and our response is as follows: Here's a hammer, there's the beach.

Sincerely,

Big Mejia Outlet

101 Main St.

Anytown, USA 54321

(This looked a lot better before it was auto-formatted...)

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LOHAN's Plucky Playmonaut touches down at Spaceport America

Someone Else
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Devil

Re: You sure must love driving

The travelogue/video started in Albuquerque, so unless Lester was suddenly taken with a spate of Bad Planning, he did fly into ABQ.

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Net neutrality: Cisco, Intel, IBM warn FCC NOT to crack down on ISPs

Someone Else
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FAIL

They said WHAT?!?

Specifically, the IT giants do not want the US watchdog to reclassify ISPs as "Title II" providers, a classification championed by some net neutrality advocates. Title II could be used to crack down on broadband prices and unfair traffic filtering, they say.

Yes, I'm sure that cracking down on broadband prices (gouging) and unfair traffic filtering would be a severe blow to the big ISP's...CEO bonuses.

Assholes!

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Mom and daughter SUE Comcast for 'smuggling' public Wi-Fi hotspot into their home

Someone Else
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Unhappy

Re: Hope they win.

You as a customer can opt out of it and not have it.

Well, yes and no. You "opt out" by returning their updated cable modem. So what do you use for a cable modem, then? You can use your old one...until they disable it. Or, you can go out and buy a cable modem of your own (about $60).

That's been my experience with Comcast (I opted for the 3rd option). YMMV.

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Facebook injects CREEPY search engine into mobile app

Someone Else
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Re: ".. tap into the experiences and wisdom that your network .. has shared"

This is the result when a marketdroid and a corporate lawyer collaborate.

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Wheels fall off bid to sue Apple over iTunes anti-piracy shenanigans

Someone Else
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Re: Oh the humanity

"Poor lawyers"...Now there's a concept....

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Apple deliberately wiped rivals' music from iPods – iTunes court claim

Someone Else
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Headmaster

"Unexpected files"

Apple, meanwhile, contended to the court that the move was not part of an intentional effort to lock iPod owners into the online iTunes music shop, but rather a security measure to keep hackers from tampering with anti-piracy measures. If unexpected files were found on the devices, the software would demand a factory reset. (Emphasis added)

Sure gives them a lot of wiggle room, doesn't it. That paragraph would have had to have been written by a gaggle of lawyer types, as no other humanoid form could have come up with a phrase that is true on its face, but under which all manner of corporate shenanigans can hide. I mean, form a Corporate standpoint, any audio file not obtained through the Walled Garden couldn't possibly be "expected" now could it?

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Five-eyes partners dilute UN resolution criticising metadata collection

Someone Else
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Mushroom

That old chestnut again???

An Australian delegate is quoted by Reuters as calling metadata collection “an important element of the investigation” of “criminal or terrorist threats”.

Manure. Your nure. And everybody else's nure!

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Guess which US tech giant was just hit with a $137m tax bill in China?

Someone Else
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Trollface

What? Nothing from Eadon?!?

Can't believe he'd pass on a chance to weigh in on this...

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Musicians sue UK.gov over 'zero pay' copyright fix

Someone Else
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IT Angle

Re: People won't know who to hate in this one...

That could be an inclusive OR...

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EU-Canada airline passenger data-sharing is not a done deal

Someone Else
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Could this be the beginning of the end of Security Theater? The MEPs' comments are encouraging....

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