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* Posts by Someone Else

910 posts • joined 9 Dec 2009

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Arab States make play for greater government control of the internet

Someone Else
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Devil

@ Ledswinger -- Re: I wish they could

[...] the Arabs could just turn off all digital telecommunicatons, and do without the internet.

No, that would never work. You see, the PTB (Powers That Be) need the internet to perform all their banking, control the oil market, and of course, get their daily doses of pr0n. What they really want is to turn off all digital communications for the hoi polloi, while reserving said digital communications capabilities for themselves.

Fuckheads.

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Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so

Someone Else
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Facepalm

Re: Applies where?

Of course it only applies to America, you numpty! That is the only place on the face of the planet where such a complete bullshit case would be heard, much less adjudicated.

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Remember that tale of a fired accountant who blamed Comcast? It's kinda true, says telco

Someone Else
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FAIL

@LarsG -- Re: and 50 cents

Yeah, that Comcast PR dribble pegged my bullshit-o-meter, too.

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Splitters! First HP's cut in two, now it's Symantec’s turn – report

Someone Else
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Meh

They said that?

Symantec bought Veritas for a massive $13.5bn in 2004, promising synergies between its existing security business and Veritas’ backup and storage management software. [emphasis added]

Damn! I don't follow such stuff, but had I known the "powers that be" used that phrase to describe the merger, I'd have shorted their stock in a New York minute, and be sitting on a beach sipping umbrella drinks right now.

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Dot-gay told it's NOT gay enough – but web'll be officially .eco-friendly

Someone Else
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@Dougs -- Re: Must be more daring

How many people in Pakistan or Saudi Arabia or Salt Lake City are openly gay?

I can't speak to (nor would I want to) the first two on your list, but now that gay marriage is legal in Utah, I think we'll get a better answer to your question for the third.

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Adobe spies on reading habits over unencrypted web because your 'privacy is important'

Someone Else
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FAIL

Well, well...

As a result, the cause of DRM in music was set back significantly and music companies backed away from using it on CDs. Purely digital downloads rarely use the technology these days. It's possible Adobe's decision could have a similar effect for the written word.

One can hope that it does have that effect, but in reality, that's not the effect I'm hoping for. I'm hoping that it has the effect of users staying away from all Adobe software like the plague that it has become.

John Warnock, your company has become a pariah; right up there with Symantec, Facebook, and numerous others. How did you let this happen?

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Chatting to Al Qaeda? Try not to do that – Ex spy chief defends post-Snowden NSA

Someone Else
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FAIL

From the blowhole that passes for Keith Alexander's mouth:

[...] ... we at times want to make sure a war doesn't break out [...]

But, of course, now isn't one of those times....

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Someone Else
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Big Brother

Sounds just like...

... that Brit wanker Keith Bristow who wants to insure that his NSA-equivalents can tromp all over the Brittish "subjects" with impunity.

And then, there's this:

[Alexander] said NSA bods were dedicated individuals who shirked higher pay packets for careers spent "protecting the nation".

Yo, Keith! (Both of you Keiths!) Do you really want to protect us? (Of course you don't, but humor me for the sake of this discussion.) Then protect us from those who would want to steal our rights, and subjugate us under the thumb of the State. You can start by protecting us from the alphabet soup that includes: NSA, GCHQ, FBI, and NCA (for starters).

But then, how would you feed your maniacal egos?

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Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

Someone Else
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Mushroom

To be fair...

Keith Bristow, head of of the National Crime Agency (the UK’s FBI), is arguing Britain’s snooping powers are “too weak”.

To be fair, that's exactly what I would expect someone in his position to say.

Fuck being fair! Keep yer mitts off my private stuff unless you have a warrant, arsehole! (Since he's a Brit, I figured I'd use the local vernacular, so he can have no misunderstanding.)

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Yahoo servers? SHELLSHOCKED? by Bash?

Someone Else
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Flame

@AC -- Re: Bash is Bollocks for security

Life is hard and there are assholes at every turn.

I see you've been looking in the mirror.

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Vanished blog posts? Enterprise gaps? Welcome to Windows 10

Someone Else
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WTF?

Re: What about skinning?

Well, perhaps you could go into the Personalize menu and set up the environment colored just the way you like....

What's that, you say? You can't be arsed to learn how to configure your system? Sux to be you, I guess.

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Someone Else
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Holmes

@Ken Hagan

So much software seems to have beencontinues to be written by people with this mindset...

There, FTFY

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Someone Else
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Devil

Re: existing products like Windows InTune (which can already manage PCs)

I thought it was InTune, as in let me "tune up" your PC...in the New York cop sense.

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Someone Else
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Re: After playing with it for an hour..

It really doesn't matter what OS you use nowadays, unless you're a fanboy or require "legacy software".

If by "legacy software" you mean software that runs on a platform other than the one you personally prefer, then yes, I have some of that...

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Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

Someone Else
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Holmes

@ Paul 135 -- Re: Can't wait

What is your use-case for that?

Actor: One klutz-fuck typist (Hey! I resemble that remark!!)

Action: Typing any string of characters that approaches or exceeds 3 words. In that span of text, said Actor will invariably type two characters in reverse order (muscle-memory dyslexia).

Motivation: So as not to look like a complete fool to all and sundry, Actor would like to have a convenient way to correct the effects of said muscle-memory dyslexia with a minimum number of keystrokes possible (as keystrokes are a contributory cause of the initial problem identified in Action.)

Does that work for you?

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Someone Else
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Go

Re: Can't wait

Now, if they'd only pull head outta ass and make ctrl-t transpose the two characters around the cursor, system wide, they might just have something!

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Someone Else
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Re: The 'sanity at last' release.

In other words: What Win8 should have been (and what users wanted) all along. See, Microsoft? that wasn't so hard, after all, now was it.

(Although it does demonstrate once again, that Micros~1 can't get anything right until it takes three whacks at it...)

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Turn OFF your phone or WE'LL ALL DI... live? Europe OKs mobes, tabs non-stop on flights

Someone Else
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Facepalm

Great...just what the world needs...

Turning an airplane into the world's fasted phone booth!

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Alien gimp gag or cosmic golf ball? NASA tackles question everyone's asking

Someone Else
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Facepalm

So THAT'S where that errant sliced drive went...

No wonder I couldn't find it in the allotted 5 minutes. I have got to take a lesson!

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

Someone Else
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Alert

@ Annoyed Grunt

Would we expect Audi to deliver a new car but the doors don't open, and then accept when they say working doors will come as a service update later on?

Actually, this accurtately describes an experience my girlfriend and I had with a Peugeot 504 diesel back in the late 70's. The doors failed a total of 9 (count 'em...9!) times before the lemon law kicked in, and the Peugeot got turned into a Subaru

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Apple is too shallow, must go deeper to beat TouchID fingerprint hack, say securo-bods

Someone Else
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Coat

Re: Researching != production

Nah, they're just holding it wrong....

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New UK.gov DATA SLURPING diplomat to push US telcos to share more subscriber info

Someone Else
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Facepalm

Re: I can almost hear America's reply already...

@Zippy

First, after the polite version has been played out, the actual version will be more like, "OK, you'll find the information you need/want here... oh, and we'll expect an appropriate quid pro quo when we ask..."

Second, how little you know about our corporate media.

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'Windows 9' LEAK: Microsoft's playing catchup with Linux

Someone Else
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@ h4rm0ny -- Re: Meeeh

I have always been consistent except during the developer preview before I'd gotten used to it.

I am always consistent.

Something about stubborn, and hobgoblins, comes to mind....

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Israeli spies rebel over mass-snooping on innocent Palestinians

Someone Else
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WTF?

Re: Apparently its sacred work

"sacred work"

Puh-fucking-LEEEZ, awready!

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Someone Else
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Facepalm

@ Ted Treen -- Re: A joke, or some form of Israeli PR right?

A Godwin violation on the second post of the thread. How quaint.

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Scottish independence: Will it really TEAR the HEART from IT firms?

Someone Else
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@Gary O'Brien -- Re: As an American

No, that would be the high IQ people that resolved California's $50 billion debt, balanced their budget, and continue to make California a magnet for both businesses and individuals from all over the world.

(Disclaimer: I do not live in California...)

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Someone Else
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Go

Re: As an American

It would be like the rest of the US seceding from New York and California (something I'm sure conservatives would dearly love) [...]

I don't know about that, but I quite frankly wouldn't really mind it much if Governor-cum-felon Perry actually did get his way, and Tejanoland (a.k.a. Texas) did secede. Then they can set up their dearly beloved red-state tea-bagging, brown skin hating, gun-totin', neo-Christian caliphate they've always wanted, and leave the rest of us with IQs above room temperature alone!

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Smart meters in UK homes will only save folks a lousy £26 a year

Someone Else
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Angel

Re: Irrelevant

And if you continue to resist, your name will be added to the official list of dissenters.

Starting to think that may not be such a bad place to be. I'm also starting to think that I would be in good company on such a list, and also that such a list might get rather long rather quickly.

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Someone Else
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Megaphone

So, to sum this up in 25 words or less:

Boondoggle!

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Net neutrality protestors slam the brakes on their OWN websites

Someone Else
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Devil

Re: "Just imagine if ISPs had to stand in line..."

"Just imagine if ISPs had to stand in line and fill out forms and wait for permission to increase broadband speeds, add Wi-Fi hotspots or create new TV Everywhere services. What would that look like?" the group wrote, "It would be a net disaster."

Just imagine if the fat-ass cable companies/content providers (they are pretty much the same these days) would stop dumping loads of BS and FUD upon us, and worked to get us sufficient bandwidth so that they could pump their bandwidth-sapping "content" and not completely hork up the net for everybody else, I wrote. It would be ... fucking brilliant!

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Heavy VPN users are probably pirates, says BBC

Someone Else
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Holmes

BBC is an acronym for what?

When I was younger, my dad played for me an old LP. (Vinyl...remember them? About 12" in diameter, and you spin it at 33-1/3 RPM...look it up on Wikipedia if you don't understand...). This was a "bloopers" LP of things that weren't supposed to be on the air, but made it out anyway. As this was from the early 60's, Canada still retransmitted BBC content. The text of one particular blooper always stuck with me:

"This is the Vancouver Division of the British Broadcorping Castration...uhh...."

Given what I'm reading here, it seems that that identification is rather accurate nowadays.

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BONEHEAD FANBOIS encamp outside Apple Stores

Someone Else
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Coat

"BONEHEAD FANBOIS"

Brought to you by the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

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FCC boss Wheeler: Lack of broadband choice is screwing Americans

Someone Else
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Trollface

@ John Gamble -- Re: Well, then...

And, of course, the FCC has absolutely no influence on the DoJ where communications interests are concerned. Nope, none at all...

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Someone Else
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Re: America Fuck Yeah!

So in the first two quarters of 2014, Comcast has spent almost $8 million on lobbying.

Makes you wonder what they could have done had they put that money into product...

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Someone Else
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Mushroom

Well, then...

US Federal Communications Commission chairman Tom Wheeler has issued his most damning indictment of America's broadband infrastructure to date – claiming more than half of citizens have only one ISP in their area offering 25Mbps or faster connections, and that competition has been crippled by a telecoms duopoly.

Well, then, seems that the best thing you could do, Mr. Wheeler, would be to put a stop to the Comcast/Time Warner Cable merger. I'm sure you'll get right on that, now won't you?

What's that I hear...crickets?

Thought so

(We need a Corporatist Bullshit icon...)

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Power station fault cuts electricity, water and internet in Cairo

Someone Else
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Coat

Re: UK too this winter

Sounds like a prediction of this winter in the UK - except that the temperatures will be 4°C instead of 40°C.

Pardon me for being indelicate, but...wuss!

We in the Midwest/Great Lakes region would be running around in shorts if the forecasts for the winter were to have temperatures only as low as 4°C!

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Comcast merger-bait spinoff to be known as GreatLand Connections

Someone Else
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Facepalm

Re: ClusterFsck LLC ?

Looks like I will have to get another BINGO card....

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Someone Else
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FAIL

Re: ClusterFsck LLC ?

Will the USA's Federal Government, again, show the world that they do not listen to or serve or represent the people/citizens/taxpayers of the USA anymore?

Short answer: Yes.

Next question?

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Someone Else
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FAIL

Dear DoJ-

Re GreatLands LLC

Don't go for it! It is merely a stalking horse. This paper company already has a putative CEO...who, of course, is on Comcast's payroll. Gee, I wonder what this person's loyalty would be once the paper tiger were to be created. Can you say "Stephan Elop"? I knew you could....

Seem to me that if there must be two major cable companies to maintain the illusion of "competition" in the US market, we already have that: Comcast, and Time Warner Cable. Reshuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic for the purposes of making some high-level execs in these two companies, as well as some no-value-added M&A guys, even more insanely rich than they already are -- all to the detriment of the customers and the general public, serves no purpose whatsoever.

GreatLands LLC == Epic Fail!

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Jimbo tells Wikipedians: You CAN'T vote to disable 'key software features'

Someone Else
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Mushroom

El Reg got it right

Not surprisingly, Jimbo rejected our view that "If you’ve contributed for years to Wikipedia you must now accept a new political economy: you have permanent lower-caste status, and have simply been working hard for other people to get rich." Opined Wales [(talk) 12:29, 29 August 2014 (UTC)]: "[T]hat's just sheer unmitigated bullshit".

Isn't it interesting, when it is pointed out that the Emperor has no clothes, that said Emperor can only respond by an ad hominem retort. Maybe, Jimmy boy, you might want to look at this from the perspective of someone not sitting directly under the Wikimedia Foundation money spigot.

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Someone Else
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Mushroom

Pax Imperia indeed!

The community responded with what one veteran contributor described as an “unprecedented” barrage of hostility.

Ya think?

Dear Jimbo: I think I can sum up this whole dustup by referring you to my favorite license plate (it is in the US, were such things are possible for a small fee). It reads: LB SAND

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Apple 'fesses up: Rejected from the App Store, dev? THIS is why

Someone Else
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FAIL

Re: Blah, Blah Blah

From the article itself:

Cupertino wrote:

Apple and our customers place a high value on simple, refined, creative, well thought-through interfaces. They take more work but are worth it. Apple sets a high bar. If your user interface is complex or less than very good, it may be rejected.

(Emphasis added)

So, I'd say that unless El Reg is in the business of manufacturing quotes from Cupertino from whole cloth (you do know that Apple is headquartered in Cupertino, don't you?), then this would indeed be "what Apple *actually* said".

Reading comprehension. I assume you've heard of it....

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Someone Else
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"I bring you these 15...<crash>...10 Commandments!"

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Someone Else
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Big Brother

Blah, Blah Blah

If your user interface is complex or less than very good, it may be rejected.

Now, there's a testable requirement, devoid of any subjectivity, ambiguity, or possibility of misinterpretation. Oh, and those of you writing complex applications (sorry, "apps") need not apply.

Now that His Jobsness has shed his mortal coil, I can't imagine who would be making such decisions.

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'Stop dissing Google or quit': OK, I quit, says Code Club co-founder

Someone Else
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Re: Coding? Modern?

I suppose that "modern coding" is writing HTML...

(/me ducks and heads for cover...)

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Someone Else
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FAIL

Last year PM David Cameron called for “more emphasis on modern methods of computing like coding”.

If it weren't so sad, it is hysterical when people who haven't the slightest fucking clue what they're talking about try to "talk tech".

Fail on so many levels....

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Pay to play: The hidden cost of software defined everything

Someone Else
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Pirate

Not just for supercomputers....

If the customer wanted to activate the additional capacity at a later date, the customer would pay the fee and an IBM engineer would turn up and literally remove a screw, or in later hardware, install a software patch and the upgrade was complete. Because it was just a pure profit exercise, those upgrades were referred to as golden screwdriver upgrades. This was common practice amongst supercomputer manufacturers of the day.

That is not just for supercomputers. A certain "midicomputer" manufacturer did the same thing: Pull off a jumper, and you get a set of additional "premium" CISC-style instructions. Pull off another jumper, and a different set of premium instructions were now available.

(The name of this computer manufacturer shall remain unnamed, to protect the guilty. But the name included the name of a midwest pancake house chain, and a brand of white glue.)

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Microsoft exits climate denier lobby group

Someone Else
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Big Brother

ALEC describes itself as a “nonpartisan public-private partnership of America’s red-state legislators, members of the private sector the Koch brothers and their wannabee minions and the general redneck, Fox Noise-sucking public”, meaning it exists to write legislation on behalf of its corporate Corporatist membership.

There. Fixed it for ya.

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China hopes home-grown OS will oust Microsoft

Someone Else
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Re: The nerds who say Ni

Seven months? That's how long Microsoft takes for beta-testing a new version of Windows

I guess if you have a real Mongolian Horde, it's possible...

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Fast And Furious 6 cammer thrown in slammer for nearly three years

Someone Else
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Mushroom

@ LDS -- Re: Sir

I understand that almost everybody here probably download music and movies illegally, [...]

Then your "understanding" of "almost everybody here" is even more brain-dead than your understanding of copyright infringement.

LDS, Abe Lincoln once said: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Although that horse as clearly left the barn in your case, here's a nice bowl of STFU to help keep you from degenerating from blithering idiot down to fucking moron.

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