* Posts by Simon 26

16 posts • joined 8 Dec 2009

Your gadget batteries endanger planes, says Boeing

Simon 26
Holmes

I have a friend, who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty, who almost set a passenger jet on fire.

He was at the airport, waiting in departure when his name was announced over the tannoy. He was met by a number of securitry people and driven out to the plane.

"Is that your bag , Sir?"

"It kind of looks like it...err...what happened?"

They were loading the baggage/refuelling when his *rucksack* fell off the baggage trolley under the wing of the plane. Due to the fact that he was a radio amateur he had a 12 volt small car battery in it, without any protection on the terminals, loose, bouncing around. The battery took exception to being dropped and the bag went up in flames.

The pilot had some words of advice for my friend and pointed out that with that battery in the hold over the atlantic there would have been little that could have been done to stop a fire.

My friend retrieved a charred bible from the bag and later told me that Jesus had saved him and his family and indeed everyone on the plane. It was not explained why Jesus didn't give him the good sense to not put something that could spontaneously combust in a bag in the hold of a plane.

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Chunky Swedish ice maiden: Volvo XC60 D4 Manual EE Lux Nav

Simon 26

So I'm not the only one who has watched Crazy People :-)

Who wants to be an advertising executive ?

Me, Me, Me.

Who wants to be a fire engine ?

Meeee.

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One step closer to ROBOT BUTLERS: Dyson flashes vid of VACUUM SUCKER bot

Simon 26
Stop

I'd buy that for a Dollar!

... but not more than that because the Dysons that I have seen are overpriced, fragile, gaudy tat marketed to rubes.

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Total APPLE DESKTOP ABSENCE set to last past XMAS - sources

Simon 26
Devil

Rotten Fruit in non-fake-shortage shocker!

That is all.

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Orée outs wood-carved keyboard

Simon 26
Stop

No pictures of what lays underneath/what source keyboard is used either here in the article or on the website makes me nervous about how nice it will be to type on.

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Facebook phone app attempts to seize ALL YOUR MAIL

Simon 26
Big Brother

All you FaceBitches

are belong to us.

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1

Vatican subtly shifts its position on The Blues Brothers

Simon 26
Devil

How do they rate..

The Pope Must Die ?

A totally corrupt and very scheming Vatican in league with mobsters and arms dealers looking to put a feeble idiot into the role of pope - and the film is pretty much the same, except with the surreal idea of a decent man getting the job by accident.

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Belkin YourType Folio

Simon 26
FAIL

Fantabulous

1. Buy an etch-a-sketch from the Rotten Apple

2. Then connect up a dodgy, wobbly keyboard that would shame a laptop from Trotters Independent Traders.

= you have something almost as usable* as a cheapo laptop.

* usable that is, if you ignore the wobbling, case/keyboard combination that is wobbling about on your lap and is a pain in the arse to type on.

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Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1

Simon 26
FAIL

I stopped reading the review...

...when it said there was no SD card slot - without that what *exactly* is the shiny thing for ?

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Fast-fingered oldster relieves shop worker of iPhone cash

Simon 26

A crime

... that relies on the greed and willingness of the "victim" to buy dodgy/stolen goods.

= not much of a crime.

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First reports on XM-25 Judge Dredd smartgun in A'Stan

Simon 26
Unhappy

We'll design our own

The rangefinding laser will be replaced with a ball of string, it'll come into service 15 years later than it should, BAE will get billions and the weapon will be shit.

Just like all the other make-job/waste money defence projects that have gone before.

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Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot

Simon 26
Grenade

Let's see...

if he likes it up him.

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Think tank rages at NHS' £700 bill for fertility clinic porn

Simon 26
Thumb Up

She should be happy...

... to have so many men strumming up business.

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IT engineer fights spider with improvised flamethrower

Simon 26
Flame

There's a...

"P" missing from his name.

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Home Secretary unmoved by last-ditch McKinnon protests

Simon 26
FAIL

Do get on with it!

If he'd shut up and done his time he'd probably be out of jail by now.

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Google chief: Only miscreants worry about net privacy

Simon 26
Thumb Down

The true mission statement of Google:

do, know evil

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