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* Posts by Uncle Siggy

146 posts • joined 30 Nov 2009

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TEEN RAMPAGE: Kids in iPhone 6 'Will it bend' YouTube 'prank'

Uncle Siggy

iBoomerang

Behold the mighty bent iPhone 6 Plus, swooping in from smoking hot pockets to an Apple store near you.

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Does this float your boat? Dead Steve Jobs to hijack yachts from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Uncle Siggy

That boats been done floated partner!

I recall amusement parks where we floated our boats.

http://www.thelope.com/images/8-6-110a.jpg

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HUGE iPAD? Maybe. HUGE ADVERTS? That's for SURE

Uncle Siggy

Re: Backlash

"They are to adverts what "Talkie Toaster" is to toast. :-/"

Well, it is their Raisin d'être after all.

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Nintend-OH NO! Sorry, Mario – your profits are in another castle

Uncle Siggy

Oh a-no-ah!

Momma mia!

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Microsoft's Black Thursday: XBox Live goes down as XBox Studio canned

Uncle Siggy

Bullshittery

Glad to see that Microsoft's excuse engine is still working normally.

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Google de-listing of BBC article 'broke UK and Euro public interest laws' - So WHY do it?

Uncle Siggy

Told you so

"I think you are overlooking the obvious. There's a team that just became redundant. With fewer applications, more idle hands, and Devil's work to do, it won't be long before doing no evil becomes impractical."

Source: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/03/15/quotw_ending_march_15/

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Remaining Snowden docs will be released to avert 'unspecified US war' – ‪Cryptome‬

Uncle Siggy

"If Cryptome release information so sensitive that internationally renowned journalists refused to release it because they are "paranoid about site access" then, to be blunt, they deserve to be locked away for a long, long time. I can think of no ethical or logical contortions that justify that rationale."

Are you joking? Those "renowned journalists" are paid agents for corporations. I wonder what corporate interests are at risk by the release of this information. Justification? What justification was needed for the Murdoch skullduggery that went on in recent years? Cryptome have perfect examples to follow.

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BLAM! IBM drags its NetApp OEM deal horse outside, gunshot heard

Uncle Siggy

Re: What is there to free ?

"How is this a good thing"

Every hound has to be weaned from the teat. I know of a local company or two that never came to its full glory because its main source of income was from government contracts. A steady income is an artificial limitation for many. How do you convince colleagues to take a painful course of action when things are more than comfortable for a shot to get even more of the same? The most effective way to wean a pup is for the bitch to stand up and walk away.

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Microsoft Surface 3 Pro: Flip me over, fondle me up

Uncle Siggy

ARMed and ready?

How many units have ARM ordered?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/06/25/microsoft_spins_arm_story/

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Silly sysadmins ADDING Heartbleed to servers

Uncle Siggy

Re: Remaining servers need extra pressure from users

"If enough users get a warning bar appear when they visit unpatched.com, some of them are going to complain to the administrator of the site, hopefully resulting in getting it fixed."

You're not a Windows user I take it.

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Denmark dynamited by cunning American Minecraft vandals

Uncle Siggy

Re: Where's...

"On a more serious note, if only they had released a WAD we could now be strafing around Copenhagen blasting imps without a care in the world, with hardly any wall damage..."

Mein leben!

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Microsoft: You know we said NO MORE XP PATCHES? Well ...

Uncle Siggy

Re: This of Course has...

IE of any version has this feature at its core. Anon, I got a good laugh at your remarks. Very good indeed.

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Reg hack hacked off by iPhone 5 repair notice

Uncle Siggy

Re: Genius Bar

It's easy to confuse kids' abilities for testing and destroying with genius. The only rival to this illusion is their ability to complain about what they've destroyed. Clearly these youths belong in the QA department and not a bar!

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Jeff Bezos reveals Amazon's brutal scale in annual letter

Uncle Siggy

Re: I wonder if all those warehouse people think about this in middle of August?

There's a nasty little loop in there some where. Hrm. Work for 5 years, cash out, and apply for a new position...

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Google to open up Glass program to anyone with $1,500 to spare

Uncle Siggy

How much will it cost?

How much will it set me back to prevent this from happening?

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Office, IE, Flash fixes accompany Windows XP's final Patch Tuesday

Uncle Siggy

Open Letter to Adobe

Enough with the fucking tool bar installations! Thank you.

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Five-year-old discovers Xbox password bug, hacks dad's Live account

Uncle Siggy

Researcher Compensation

Doesn't four free games with a year long subscription to X-Box Live constitute a developer's account?

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Zuck: Web drones, not balloons (cough, cough Google) are way forward

Uncle Siggy

Incognito

Why are Google and Facebook in such a hurry to deploy the NSA's next observation deck?

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Returning a laptop to PC World ruined this bloke's credit score. Today the Supreme Court ended his 15-year nightmare

Uncle Siggy

Re: Greedy

What has captured my attention is that the judges reduced the amount of the pay out to nothing when he asked for more. That is perplexing. Was it vindictiveness or a technicality?

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Reg tries out Google's Chromecast: Yep, we even tested smut sites

Uncle Siggy

Great for multimedia

I organize Heroclix games and host at a local library with a giant flat screen that can accommodate the Chromecast. I use my MacBook Pro and Chromecast with Chrome to tabcast alternately Netflix (superhero movies or cartoons) and Pandora (video game, game culture music) to make the atmosphere fun. Rules, rulings, schedule and game website are kept in other tabs. I cast the appropriate tab during the different points in the tournament, best of all showing everyone their past and present standings. All this across the miserable wireless connection of the library. There are good days and bad, but everyone agrees that it has enhance the gaming experience.

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GitHub probes worker's claims of hostile, sexist office culture

Uncle Siggy

Re: I don't like....

> Victim culture strikes again.

Idiot culture is alive and well too, it seems.

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Hungarian eggheads unleash not-at-all-scary DRONE SWARM

Uncle Siggy

Bird Brains

I for one welcome our new swarms of unmanned aerial overlords.

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Woman claims she was assaulted in Google Glass 'HATE CRIME'

Uncle Siggy
Joke

She was asking for it

Bully Bar Patron: Shut those things off.

Irritating Bitch: No!

Bully Bar Patron: Gimme!

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Satya Nadella is 'a sheep, a follower' says ex-Microsoft exec

Uncle Siggy

Re: Useful criticism?

"Must be a sign of the times, any criticism that isn't couched in touchy feely everyone's a winner language is abuse."

This remark is doubleplusgood.

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Microsoft to RIP THE SHEETS off Windows 9 aka 'Threshold' in April

Uncle Siggy

Re: it all begins to sound

"Have to agree with some other comments; Microsoft are seriously in danger of becoming irrelevant in OS terms."

As Microsoft staggers into the sunset, we can see the word "Apple" etched into the handle of the knife in its back. With Microsoft's cadaverous arm draped across the shoulder of Intel, only slightly less cadaverous, leans on its old friend whose free hand was just recently twisting something into its back. Tattooed on the back of each player's neck the word "Wintel".

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Boffins build sticky-limbed lizard-bots to tend spacecraft

Uncle Siggy

I for one...

I for one welcome our Arthropodic overlords.

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On the matter of shooting down Amazon delivery drones with shotguns

Uncle Siggy

Re: Guns won't work, so let's look at alternatives...

Practically: Radio transmission jamming

Impractically: tractor beam

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Tolkien 'almost became WWII code-breaker alongside Alan Turing'

Uncle Siggy
Mushroom

Epic Pooh

This film sounds about as enticing as does a big screen adaptation of the Sillymarillion, and could be nothing but epic pooh.

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Google deletes Maps satellite photos of 14-year-old's unsolved murder

Uncle Siggy

Re: I would have thought

' I guess for yanks it's like that with murders. "Oh damn, really must remember to tell the police I saw that guy get shot. Nah, forget it, I'm sure the guy was standing his ground".'

Nice generalization. We have one of our own; the British are friendly and honorable people. I am glad to see that at least one of you have proven that it is indeed a generalization.

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Dropbox: We're worth $8 BILLION and we'll sell you a 3 per cent slice

Uncle Siggy
Stop

My privacy is worth more

than 8 BEEEEEELLION dollars.

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What's wrong with network monitoring tools? Where do I start...

Uncle Siggy

Square Wheel

Instead of recreating the square wheel that conditions admins to ignore rather than respond to a high noise to signal ratio, I suggest a different route. We use Splunk to scrape our logs and deliver diagnostic payloads to the people who need them. Our developers have caught bugs before they hit production because the queries are tested along with the code. Want to see a trend before services tip over and be notified? What about researching dependency trees? Making assumptions based on static graphs, rather than interrogating logs? More "classic" monitoring is the answer to nothing.

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'Daddy, can I use the BLACK iPAD?': Life with the Surface Pro 2

Uncle Siggy

Competition is good

It looks like Microsoft are chasing the niche, but without a nice solution. Adapt Windows for phone, fail. Adapt tablet for Windows, fail. Try try again. I hope they come up with something truly innovative, because a disruption in the marketplace is always welcomed. iPhone in my pocket and Macbook Pro tethered, gives me access to the computing power I need, and the 6.5 mbit connection I like. That includes my trusty and venerable Windows XP virtual image (the absolute pinnacle of usefulness and stability for a Microsoft product). Linux is everywhere I work. I regret not having had the time to have a Linux phone experience. Anyone can avoid vendor lockout by having private resources for the data most adored by people, but it seems many of us to choose to give up our privacy. This intrusion into privacy by phone, tablet and desktop appear to be the LCD. Surface is just another device for owning you.

Disruption, disruption disruption. Instead of devices, we should disrupt services.

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Microsoft investors advised: Sack the guy searching for Ballmer replacement

Uncle Siggy
Headmaster

Re: But...

The word "guy" is already gender neutral.

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Google pulls all Android apps linked to adware badness THAT MUST NOT BE NAMED

Uncle Siggy

Re: Can't Google remove the apps from phones

"It probably was until Amazon was stung with the "1984" scandal. Suddenly, people wondered: if the app stores can remove apps from my device, what's to say they could abuse it to, say, remove sideloaded apps?"

Like an image scraper that publishes my selfies from my photo albums to their portal?

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500 MEELLION PCs still run Windows XP. How did we get here?

Uncle Siggy

ILOVEYOU

I was going to make a Piers Anthony reference, but how crass is that?

Since leaving XP and Microsoft products behind, having moved my workloads to a mix of Linux/OSS, Solaris and Apple products, I don't have any issue with 300 MEEEELION Zombies flooding the Internet with its filth. I began the migration from M$ products once a co-worker got the Isle of View virus in May 5th, 2000. What's that? I did get a Piers Anthony reference into a thread about Windows XP? +1 to me!

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ZERO-G DINOSAUR made from bits and bobs by space station flight engineer

Uncle Siggy

Stitch in time...

Perhaps we can get this space faring seamstress to knit a new ISS module to replace replace the OPSEK project the Russians are proposing.

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I, for one, welcome our robotic communist jobless future

Uncle Siggy

Re: Deja vu

> How will humans cope moving rapidly from having to work to get what they want to a world of largely idle

> leisure? Many pensioners cope, and hardened career doleys, but will that suit the rest of us?

You will be assimilated. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.

Resistance is futile.

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WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

Uncle Siggy

BUST

Bust

Up

Sachet

Terminius

BURST

Burst

Uprising

Random

Sailing

Terminus

BAIL

Bail

Altitude

Initiation

Lever

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Google cripples Chromecast third party replay

Uncle Siggy

The Verge reports that Google says this is temporary... or not.

Source: http://www.theverge.com/2013/8/25/4657202/google-blocks-chromecast-app-that-let-you-stream-own-videos

Quote from Google:

We’re excited to bring more content to Chromecast and would like to support all types of apps, including those for local content. It's still early days for the Google Cast SDK, which we just released in developer preview for early development and testing only. We expect that the SDK will continue to change before we launch out of developer preview, and want to provide a great experience for users and developers before making the SDK and additional apps more broadly available.

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Japan's unwanted IT workers dumped in 'forcing-out rooms'

Uncle Siggy

Re: Think Sony has dropped content management.

> Sadly I have to "manage" a technophobe friend's iPod and end up swearing at

> iTunes every time !

That's a worse fate than being sequestered in a forced-out room.

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Uncle Siggy

T-Mobile

T-Mobile does this kind of thing to it's customers, except they call the forced-out room a "coverage area".

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Uncle Siggy

Re: Wow they are lucky

Sooo...

Is it safe to say that a BSC is a pink slip for unmotivated employees?

I seek new employment within minutes after my boss's beheading here in the US. Only bigger hint that I may not fit is when the next project doesn't have a name.

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Davros liable to criticism for huge STRAW DALEK he never built

Uncle Siggy

In a possibly related story, archaeologists have identified The Teletubbies enigmatic vacuum, Noo-noo, as a pre/posthistoric progenitor of the Daleks in an alternate time/space dimension. If you listen carefully to the sucking noises the automaton makes, one can hear the discreet whisper of INGURGITATE, INGURGITATE!

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Torvalds frustrated at missing simultaneous release

Uncle Siggy

Re: @JDX

>http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/22/linus_torvalds_linux_bloated_huge/

Four year old article get!

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Tor servers vanish as FBI swoops on kiddie-smut suspect

Uncle Siggy

Re: oh boy

The number is proportional to the number of spooks who participate in civil disobedience/protestes.

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Now you can be the NSA: Snoop on a Google Glass hipster with a QR code

Uncle Siggy

Getting plastered

Well, there goes my tattoo idea.

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Man sues Apple for allowing him to become addicted to PORN

Uncle Siggy

Clearly this is Apple's fault

Apple's cock up, Sevier's arse.

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Asperger's and IT

Uncle Siggy

Welcome to Infrastructure King

Your extremely specific infrastructure order is our mumble mumble.

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