* Posts by Tsurotu

42 posts • joined 30 Nov 2009

Politicians call for Modern Warfare 3 censure

Tsurotu
Meh

Actually, these games are more like training us to kill Russians - Vaz will thank us when the red tide sweeps across Europe! He'll eat his words I tell ye, eat his words!

Anyway, I also think we should get the RSPCA to put pressure on the government, I can't tell you how many wolves I've killed in Temeria this week. Also dragons, but I don't know whether that falls under the group's remit...

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Charlie Sheen explodes onto Twitter

Tsurotu
WTF?

Big publicity stunt?

Or what South Park showed in 'Britney's New Look'.

Either way Sheen has got almost 900k followers on twitter in 20 hours.

This is going to end in two ways, 1) he'll off himself or 2) he'll make more than $2m for this little string of stunts.

He is a bonafide nutjob though.

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iPad alert: Are you a selfish elite or an independent geek?

Tsurotu
Happy

You asked the question:

"Meanwhile, not all the Reg hacks at Vulture Central have properly fondled an iPad yet. So what does that make us?"

Immune to hype. A fine effort sirs.

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Cable lays plan for graduate tax

Tsurotu
Unhappy

Um

I have graduated, and am in the position where I have approximately £24k worth of debt (although, admittedly 8k of that is to Barclays for my Masters degree). Will I get burdened with the tax AND have to pay my loan(s) off?

Sounds like a bum deal to me...

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iPhone 4G blingmobe: Yours for £13k

Tsurotu

Well damn

I came here to make a joke about the reception yet people have beat me to it.

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Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip

Tsurotu

Right

Ive just held my iPhone 3G in every way I can think of and it didnt lose any signal whatsoever.

This is rather funny now, they've buggered it!

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Naked Cowboy wrestles Naked Cowgirl

Tsurotu
Unhappy

Argh!

The goggles!

They do nothing!

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Satnav pensioner smashes into 1953 Rolls

Tsurotu
Unhappy

I thought that

Until I had a good look. It looks like the whole engine has been pranged, and when you add the cost of finding (unlikely, read hand making) a new wind and grille (as well as repairing however much suspension damage has occurred) it might get serious.

Even then, it wont be original, as the replacements, if not original, will surely hurt the car's value as an antique...

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Tsurotu
Happy

Bah

That'll buff out.

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Student Loan Co writes off boss and chairman

Tsurotu
Unhappy

Hm

Wish they'd write off my loan.

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Halting McKinnon extradition not in our power, says Clegg

Tsurotu

Well

That doesn't make it any less of a consitution.

Just because it isn't written down doesn't mean it isn't there.

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Google mocks Jobs with Flash on Android

Tsurotu
Unhappy

Except... it does.

Well, considering that your [perhaps below] average internet user couldn't tell you what flash is, instead it is 'internet video' or the thing that plays music on myspace, or that powers the games on Facebook, it may annoy people who purchase their half-a-grand piece of whizzkiddary and discover they can't do a lot of the things they WANT to do, that they COULD have done on a £200 netbook.

I find that the denizens of El Reg, much as how I love you all, forget that they are often above averagely tuned into what goes on in the intertubes. The problem with Apple is that they seem to have taken a dislike, and turned it into a disadvantage. Until HTML5 and h.264 are on equal - if not higher - terms of use on the internet, then there is no point in continuing the boycott.

If you need a car every day, but your car is slow, you don't then scrap that car and wait a year to save up the money to buy a faster one. You slog it out, until you can afford to change...

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Tsurotu
Thumb Up

Haha

"It turns out that on the internet, people use Flash,"

Fantastic.

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Security guard admits he hacked hospital PCs

Tsurotu
Alert

Wow.

What.

A.

Tool.

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Garage worker prangs £200k Ferrari

Tsurotu
Stop

Being just out of the danger-zone...

...Of the 17-22 year old 'idiot bracket', I have to say one thing to you, my friend's dad bought an old boxy volvo estate for my friend while he was learning for two reasons:

1) its so heavy that he can't really be a prick in it

2) theres about 6ft of bonnet before the cockpit, so if he does hit a wall, he'll go through it before the car crumbles and takes his legs.

Also, to those saying about the road test, are you mad? Had there been a road test done on my, sporty, chavvy and all around monster of a 1.8 diesel ford escort estate, then my wheel wouldn't have fallen off on the roundabout on the way home (I did get a new set of front discs out of it though, and some new underwear). Just taking it for a spin for 5 minutes is not unheard of, just to check that everything is bolted back on and such, which can't be found on a rolling road- tracking, wheel balance and things are almost impossible to tell unless you give it a welly. Of course, in the case of a ferrari, this may be slightly different, as giving it a welly often means you spin...

Plus it was just an accident. And yes he will be insured (I happen to know a mechanic owner, and insurance over all the cars they fix/MOT etc is a killer, but a neccesity).

Gutted for the kid.

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Boffins warn on car computer security risk

Tsurotu
Grenade

Theoretically speaking

With the development of these findings, one could flash the system of the car to allow it to receive commands - if they could send commands to the brakes, or engine managemet by simply playing with the packets, then surely, given time you could have a remote shutdown of the vehicle itself.

All you naysayers need only imagine a simple scenario.

High value diplomatic/economic/political (less likely) target, known to have his or her vehicle regularly serviced or valeted. Valet is replaced with assassin. Assassin compromises the car's system.

Team in a car trailing the targets car remotely deactivates the cars engine. Bad times ensue.

Or more worryingly, team in car activates one front brake on the motorway, target car wildly out of control crashes into central median, or some other obstacle, making it look like an accident.

I realise this is all highly conceptual and probably unfeasible, but the possibilities raise serious questions - our computers are all packed full with AV and anti-malware, why not at least put a little bit of security into cars? Just a wee bit. A teensy amount...

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Waterstone's whips out its pendulous dugs

Tsurotu

Titletastic

Perhaps they just ordered too many 'M's for HMV and needed to get rid of them.

Economical, practical, mammarical.

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Parliament to turn itself into computer game for young ones

Tsurotu
Pint

Well, you asked for it

Democrageddon, the wildly successful sequel, Democrageddon II: The Referendum and then the disappointing threequel, released on the Wii, Democrageddon III: Nintendeficit.

The rights for these games are for sale, by the way, for a pint of ale down the road.

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EU mulls new central cybercrime agency

Tsurotu
Thumb Down

Wait! Please!

I wish they would wait until after I've written my dissertation.

My essential argument is that cybercrime is unequally legislated for (as opposed to piracy or terrorism) in the international sphere and the EU is really buggering my arguments.

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Jobsian drones shackle gamer with 'lifetime' iPad ban

Tsurotu
Thumb Down

Prejudice!

Just because I wear sunglasses and smoke, doesn't mean they'll ever catch me buying even one iPad.

I have this great gadget called an iPhone, and when that reaches the end of its functionality, a PowerBook, and when that gets stretched too far a tower PC connected to my television.

There is no niche. Just as there is no spoon.

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Official: Apple iPhone is a chick magnet

Tsurotu
Stop

WAIT

The author did not mean to upgrade the firmware infront of her. That won't get her going.

This 'flash you iPhone' - it is colloquial people, it means to surreptitiously advertise that you own one.

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'iPhone 4G' loser outed

Tsurotu
Jobs Horns

If this is the whole story

Poor guy.

Who hasn't left something in a pub? Now he's going to get a comprehensive iPad-beating and a couple of months locked up in Steve's dungeon.

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Omegle invites you to show world+Facebook your bewbs

Tsurotu
Thumb Down

Well in that case...

I am going to email CEOP because I want a panic button for the Registe that I can press whenever a story about a self aggrandising idiot who has no clue about how the internet actually works, and only wants to push his own agenda upon others in order to further his own narcissistic view that he is some sort of 'white knight' set to rid the world of online dangers.

And whenever you click the button a small machine kicks him in the balls.

Twice.

The sites such as Omegle and ChatRoulette are pretty idiotic and will just be a bunch of guys having a wank. I could have told the makers that before they even released it. When (more like if, to be honest) I have children, up until they're 16 there will be a proxy blocking service on the internet. And they will only get to use it when I say they can. and I will regularly check up on them. And I'll teach them what to look out for.

God I can't wait until my generation is in charge, so when people come out with this stuff we can just tell them to shut the hell up.

</rant>

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Volcanic ash grounds dozens of UK flights

Tsurotu
Happy

Hah!

Volcanic Ash Cloud > Al Qaeda.

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Death row inmate claims allergy to lethal injection

Tsurotu
FAIL

Me too!

I'm allergic to all lethal injections, I could DIE if I were exposed. Bet you don't want that on your hands.

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Facebook rejects CEOP 'panic button' demands (again)

Tsurotu
Thumb Down

Well.

If they put the button in I'm just gonna report my mates as paedophiles. Just for laughs.

That is all it will be used for, in the Hall case, the predator posed as a younger person, in that case, why would the button be pressed? This is a total farce.

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El Reg April Fools 2010

Tsurotu
Pint

Thank God

I was on holiday and wasn't reading El Reg or I would have made a fool out of myself of a couple of occasions.

An 'April Fool' if you will.

The snow in St. Anton was fantastic by the way, although Darling's budget brought pints to £5 after it dropped us against the Euro. Thats why I'm voting Tory next month.

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Telegraph trips over the Large Hardon Collider

Tsurotu
Coat

Well...

When my large hardon collided with her, I broke my own personal record for particle streams.

...I'll get my coat.

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El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'

Tsurotu
Unhappy

Humph, well.

I am personally insulted by the fact that there is NO MENTION WHATSOEVER of the fact that the rubber band was patented today, 165 years ago.

I shall no longer be reading your site, as your blatant ignorance and prejudice against British inventors in general is personally insulting.

That is all.

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NASA flying car engineer shoots down Reg coverage

Tsurotu
Happy

I always preferred

The alcoholic type of screwdriver.

Seriously though... HAMMERING press coverage that is less than stellar is like a game designer complaining that his shit game got a bad review. It cannot be NAILED without making the complainer look like an absolute SPANNER. The [ALAN] KEY issue here is that this boffin has SCREWed up by e-NAILing (hmmm, I think my joke is losing altitude) El Reg.

But good coverage...

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Anti-binge drinking ads add to binge drinking

Tsurotu
FAIL

A sitcom?

Honestly, as one of the 'youf' a sitcom would be received by my friends and I with a large measure of vermouth and a measure of vodka and gin... Um I MEANT to say cynicism followed by a fair amount of eye-rolling.

Whenever something with a significant, and important message, it should never be tried to be put across in a light hearted way, or in a way in which those who are sending the message are trying to be 'down with the kids, yo'.

My advice with the budget? Take them to a morgue and show them someone who died, at 30, of liver failure. That'll make them sit up.

Or they could just go to the pub.

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Hull Daily Mail exposes depraved local porncoder

Tsurotu
Stop

Hmm legal action...

... probably not much he can do. Not defamation, as the 'shocking' part was true...

IPCC is the way to go.

Still, whole situation: Hilarity.

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Twitter bomb threat joke man faces possible jail sentence

Tsurotu
FAIL

Hmmm

Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea?

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UK universities being broken by border control measures

Tsurotu
FAIL

However

I live with a Pakistani student, and have quite a few friends from the Mid-East, (masters students mind you) and it turns out that this system is actually providing jobs for those who manage to get to the UK, as urdu, farsi, arabic etc. speaking students are needed to talk to prospective students to explain why their visa has been delayed, or how many tens of thousands of pounds they owe the university.

Disgraceful as a policy, but I think my mates dont mind it too much, getting paid £7 an hour just for chatting to their parents at home for an hour a day... I mean... prospective students.

Now shoo, I'm hungover and going back to bed, it isn't even midday!

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Oz banker caught porn-surfing on live TV

Tsurotu
Thumb Up

Ahhh

Good old fashioned banking.

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AMD adds Black Edition to Phenom range

Tsurotu
Happy

ya rly.

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_1iVRMXd1Sic/SgsXwaCOWKI/AAAAAAAAAGs/jLT6cthVzNc/s1152/Fullscreen%20capture%2013052009%20200454.jpg

This is before I tightened the memory timings, 15,000 in 3dmark 06 (boosted to 19k in W7 and tighter timings) kicks the hell out of basic i7 systems.

http://orb.futuremark.com/compare?3dm06=11059857

Go look up the benchmarks for an i7 8xx (around 200-250) and come back.

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Tsurotu
Thumb Down

Love my 720x3 BE

I bought a Phenom II (2.8x3) 720 BE last year and have not been disappointed whatsoever. My system is at a benchmark comparison with i7 rigs that cost twice, if not three times the amount as my system as it stands (720x3 BE, 4gigs of dual channel 1600RAM (6-6-6-20-t1) and two 4870s). In addition, my BE is overclocked to a blistering 3.4ghz, on passive cooling within an Antec 900 case, and never peaks above 41degC.

I spent £120 on that chip, and compared with the generation equivalent quad core Intel chips it is cheaper, has much more leeway for OCing and in my opinion is a much better choice for budding overclockers working on a budget.

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South African Police reveal Apple tablet photos

Tsurotu

Windows Pill?

If Gates decided to market some part-time drugs, would they make you see blue until you vomit, pass out and wake up in a skip two days later?

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Air France offers two-seat deal for fatties

Tsurotu
Thumb Up

Um...

I dont think they raise the armrest and sit one cheek-per-seat. Its more of a 'don't let your fatty-boom-batty behind smother the normal person' situation.

Its so they can have some spill over and not kill the small child beside them.

Good idea though. Being fat is not a disability, its a hilarious joke - in fact taking the piss out of a fat person is great - its like being racist but without the social stigma.

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Secret neo-Nazi documents published

Tsurotu
Stop

hey!

Stop being Nazty to the Nazis.

(It was a stretch, but I think I made it)

Seriously though. Prejudice isn't cool. Unless it is sexism.

Get back in the kitchen bitch.

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Walking With Dinosaurs star goes walkabout

Tsurotu
Alert

Zomgwtfgbh

Espionage! Trickery!

The Mexicans have Dinosaur making technology, who knows what might happen?!

(Pipe down Crichton).

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Prevx blames Microsoft for black hawk screen down

Tsurotu
WTF?

PervX?

I heard that company has some great applications.

(More sleep is obviously needed (postgrad degrees are a bummer), but I thank El Reg for supplying me with my procrastinational needs)

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