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* Posts by 0laf

231 posts • joined 25 Nov 2009

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Spinning SPACE DUCK is comet-chasing Rosetta probe's PREY

0laf
Coat

Are there any potential space witches to weigh this against?

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CERN data explains how Higgs heavies other matter

0laf
Boffin

Re: Why is it so hard to see?

Yup after a couple of paragraphs my brain threw in the towel and waked out for a breath of fresh air.

And I thought I knew a little bit about quantum physics.

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That AMAZING Windows comeback: Wow – 0.5% growth in 2015

0laf

Re: There's not much wrong with windows

Just after I wrote "since MS / Nokia started selling good phones at budget prices" I saw the prices for the new Nokia 930. I see the marketing droids still have the idea that expensive sells. WinPh will only sell if it's exceptional value since it doesn't have shiny appeal and never will. I picked up a 920 for £83, that seems like a good deal, £500 for a 930 doesn't look like very good value in comparison especially when it's within £50 of a rumoured price for the iPhone6. MS won't beat the king of shiny with a 10% discount.

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0laf

Re: There's not much wrong with windows

MS are actually producing some decent stuff right now it's just being ruined by the marketing types that are obsessed with everything Apple.

Google is loosing it's sine through its data slurping obsession and the malware that's on Android

We're actually seeing the Apple-for-work fad start to fade now. Reality has bitten and it's being noticed that these devices are actually quite hard to get to work in a large multi-user environment and they need a lot of back office support (MDMs etc) anda re missing useful things like USB ports and removable storage. Apple tabs are being put down and request are starting to come in for Windows laptops again.

Even in schools where iOS and the apps can work very well, it a PITA because it's hard to move the device between individuals and they often need to sign up to itunes whether they want to or not.

People have stopped laughing at Windows Phone since MS / Nokia started selling good phones at budget prices. I've noticed a lot of improvement in the App store with 8.1. Not sure why they persevere with the overpriced Surface.

Even if Win9/10 goes cloud / client based it'll probably be optional and there will be offline working. even Chromebooks have offline capability now. Not everyone lives in a metropolitan area with wall to wall 4G. Lots of us have to live with a poor 2G signal.

MS will never be 'cool', it's the OS of school and work. If they gave up on cool and worked on 'practical' and 'usable' they'd at least firm up their core customers. Plus lots of people like devices which just work without bells ans whistles.

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Creepy battery-operated TEDDY BEAR SEX TOY. Sadly, this is for real

0laf
Paris Hilton

Mix it in with Bad Taste Bears and you're laughing, or screaming depending on your supply of C Cells.

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Microsoft tests HALF-INCH second screen to spur workplace play

0laf
FAIL

Nope

Too small to draw a standard comedy cock on therefore useless.

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

0laf
Mushroom

charideee

I set up a new charity website aimed to helpline other 'charities' scam money from the taxpayer in order to pay exorbitant wages to their board of directors.

It's called www.gilding-that-turd.org

My plan is not to actually do anything except getting a celebrity model (preferably on with a bit of a pus on her, seriously a model?) to wax lyrical about it to celebrity fondling magazines.

Can I have my £500k now?

Or I'll settle for My F**KIN MONEY BACK

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Car titans WON'T STEAL our tech, says Musk: DAMNIT, I'll GIVE IT to 'em

0laf
Black Helicopters

Re: This is nice but

Maybe this is to bootstrap the current ev market. The patents he's referring to now are probably toast but it doesn't mean he's going to make all future patents open.

Get the market going, profit from battery and charger technology then license future developments to the now established ev market. Long term thinking, the man isn't daft.

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Wintel pincers to squeeze iPads out of BYOD

0laf
Facepalm

Evidence I'm hearing is that the fondleslab fad is fading in the workplace. Workers are getting tired of the compromises needed to work on a tab and the extra infrastructure to make a non-enterprise OS work in a multi-user DPA paranoid environment. Even Win8.1 is a bit of a mess for enterprise.

We're back to asking for laptops now. Just don't ask about the money pissed up the wall on shiny toys, or all the toys that will never be returned to the office.

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Silent, spacious and... well, insipid: Citroën's electric C-Zero car

0laf
Coat

Buggers up when you can buy an equivalent sized small diesel or petrol car for £12k no including government subsidy. Some of them don't pay VED either and most of us don't live in London so the congestion charge is an irrelevance.

£10k buys a lot of petrol or diesel even at today's prices.

I applaud the technology but we're a long way away from electric vehicles being the obvious choice for the masses. I think most people would happily choose electric for a commuting car if it made sense we're now past the pointing and laughing stage. We're at teh stage of "I've paid a fk lot of money towards this through my taxes and I'd like to see something usable outside of London".

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Boffins publish SciFi story to announce exoplanet find

0laf
Thumb Up

Clever

Reynolds is a boffin himself or ex-boffin. Nice little tie up between science and science fiction.

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Monster croc 'the BALROG' tussles with mighty Titanoboa snake

0laf
Boffin

This Balrog seems a bit of a tiddler compared to a current salt water croc at 22 feet and 4000lbs.

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The British are coming! The British are coming! And they're buying Surface fondleslabs

0laf

Win8 tablets work better in business. They're just smaller flatter touchscreen laptops. No additional wizzy things needed. But not MS Surface, too dear, we've been getting Dells Win8 tabs and they're well liked.

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Watchdog puts UK gov IT on RED alert. Yes, that's a bad thing

0laf

Re: Watchdog puts UK gov IT on RED alert

Cabinet Office will only allow the change of bulb if the bulb changer has undergone disclosure checking, appropriate elearning programs and will only use corporately managed equipment to change the bulb. The used bulb must be disposed according to Architectural Pattern 47 and the new bulb must come from a Cabinet Office approved source with a CESG compliant filament. It is required that 50% of Bulbs will be bought from the Government eBulb store. Bulbs may be bought from an unauthorised source with prior authorisation from the Cabinet Office Department for bulbs, your requests will be answered promptly within 60 years.

In addition all bulbs must be tested by an approved lighting tester accredited to the Government BADGER scheme.

Failure to comply with any of these stipulations will result in a great deal of gum bumping from the Cabinet Office, the issue of grand threat and bugger all action. Unless you are a Government minister or the NHS in which case you can do what the hell you like.

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

0laf
FAIL

Re: Non-reflective laptop screens.

+1 for the 4:3 screen.

I've a rather ancient HP laptop that is much better than my newer Dell for actually working on.

Also proper feckin keyboards.

Send the Chiclet keyboard to hell

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0laf

Re: Smart phones where *you* decide which Apps are on them.

Strangely my Nokia 920 Windows phone is the best I've had for this. I've been able to uninstall everything that I didn't want.

The actual phone function is the best I've had for a long time too since...my Nokia 6630 classic which was a symbian feature phone .

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Cisco reboots PC with $1500 'Scandafornian' Android fondleslab

0laf
WTF?

Your Fired

Thought it was a new Amstrad Em@iler at first.

Lord Sugah will be impressed.

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Job for IT generalist ...

0laf

Information Security for you.

That was me. Have done programming, networking, support, web design, databases and lots of other odd things. Never to a degree to become an expert and never with any certs since no one pays the generalist to become a specialist.

Like you I've very good at problems solving and leading the experts, who can be blinkered, to come to good solutions.

I fell into Information Security / Information Assurance 10yr ago and it's a good fit for someone who knows a bit about everything and can learn about anything quickly. You need to be generally aware because the problems come from all angles on all subjects yet you can never be an expert in them all.

Not a lot of money until you have experience but if you can get CISSP or CLAS then plenty of well paid consultancy.

You might want to bone up on ISO27000, CISSP domains, PCI DSS, BASIL2, PSN.

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Windows Phone: Just as well Microsoft bought an Android maker, RIGHT?

0laf
Alert

Re: I actually like Windows phone

Ummm, [shuffles feet], [looks a bit embaressed]....

I quite like my Nokia 920 Windows 8 Phone too.

Fast well made, cheap and does what I need it to do very well.

Yes the app store is a bit thin but most of what you need is there just minus the 500k of garbage that's in the play store too.

It's a very good phone, camera and sat nav. But maybe not the 'lifestyle device' that people expect with Apple and Samsung.

Strangely I've come to the conclusion lately that I probably trust MS more with my data than Google or Apple. I spoke to someone very well versed in security/IA at spooky high levels and he agreed (although he was sticking with his Blackberry).

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G-Tech intros glossy HHD box: Because media 4Kers need external storage too

0laf
Pint

Re: Wow talk about branching out.....

Maybe not branching out that far since this looks like a flip-top bin.

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Windows Phone 8.1: Like WinPho 8, but BETTER

0laf
Meh

Volume

What about seperate volume levels for the ring tone and media? PITA right now. Much as I like my WinPh8 there are some really stupid things like the lack of volume controls and no file explorer.

I be happy to be able to set my own colours on the tiles, not that bothered about the background images on them.

App store is still pitiful but at least it stops me downloading loads of shite. I have an Android tablet for that.

I wonder if Nokia will sort their Music Mix through this? The last update made things considerably worse, slow and buggy. Worked fine previously.

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Boeing, Cupertino to 'explore weaponisation of Apple technologies'

0laf
Thumb Up

Nearly. Nearly had me until the end

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The Reg's desert XP-ocalypse aversion plan revealed

0laf
Thumb Up

Deep Freeze is a good call.

Turns a lot of support calls into "have you tried turning it off and on?".

Good for library environment where you might need to let people do things that will probably break computers in a day or so.

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Plusnet shunts blame for dodgy DNS traffic onto customers' routers

0laf
Meh

Re: For me there is a basic question

I can confirm the Plusnet supplied router is a pile of shite.

At least they do let you change it unlike some ISPs.

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Review of UK data protection: Should fines go OVER HALF A MIL?

0laf
Meh

No need for more in the public sector. It's other people money anyway. The public humiliation is a more motivating factor than the loss of cash.

Private sector should have a % limit. £500k is pocket-change to some of the big boys

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Learn about Microsoft Cloud OS

0laf
Unhappy

Across the UK? We've not voted yet.

Not enough money in Salmondland I suppose.

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Very fabric of space-time RIPPED apart in latest Hubble pic

0laf
Angel

Is it he?

Traversing the universe touching things with his noodly appendage

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But... you work in IT... Why aren't we RICH?

0laf
Childcatcher

WhatShatt, it's used by the yoof old boy therefore worth billions. It's only the yoof that count right now don't you know that?

Not used by anyone who actually draws a salary; in this country anyway. Pretty much like every Daily Mail evil app of the day.

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Samsung Gear splurge skews smartwatch market Google’s way

0laf
Go

Re: y'know ...

Fob watch tablet...

Foblet?

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NHS website hit by MASSIVE malware security COCKUP

0laf
FAIL

CRAPITA strikes again.

Still it makes a change from Northgate.

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UNBREAKABLE bendy phone screens built, thanks to SHELLFISH

0laf
Pint

Is it toddler proof?

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Sinclair's ZX Spectrum to LIVE AGAIN!

0laf

Put a touch screen android in a Psion 5 chassis and I'll be impressed.

Otherwise nice idea but for £40 it's got to be more than a pretty yet poor keyboard.

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BT-owned ISP Plusnet fails to plug security hole on its customer signup page

0laf
Devil

Ubiquitous XKCD reference

I wonder what would happen if 'Little Bobby Tables' signed up.

http://xkcd.com/327/

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BlackBerry ends write-off of a year with $4.4 BEELLLION write-down

0laf

Re: Ouch!

Samsung KNOX within the S4 has already been signed off for use within some US Government departments. Quite likely that acceptance will spread into other Governments like our own.

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Google Glass pics will BAFFLE admirers: Nudge nudge, WINK WINK

0laf
Alert

Twitch

So if I get a twitch in my eye it's going to cost me a fortune then get me arrested.

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Why UK.gov's £1.2bn fibre broadband rollout is a bumbling FLOP

0laf
Big Brother

Anyway what's the point of superfast broadband when they're about to block all the porn.

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Excise Xmas prezzie indecision MISERY with El Reg’s gift guide²

0laf
Flame

Re: Hard-learned lesson

Tech support for the family was fine but when they started whoring me out to their neighbours and friends it had to stop.

Still do it for the immediate family but they've been well warned not to repeat themselves.

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UK fondleslab surge slowing, says sales-sniffing specialist

0laf

A bit like mobile phones everyone who wants one pretty much has one. The sales in the future will just the the churn of people replacing broken/tired tablet.

They'll need to think up some new format soon and I can't see wearable tech taking off for the majority for a long while.

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3D printing: 'Third industrial revolution' or a load of old cobblers?

0laf
Meh

Hype cycle

Looking on the hype cycle I see 3D printing is just entering the "trough of disillusionment" after which it'll start to be looked at and used more widely with less notice being taken.

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Atomic clocks come to your wrist

0laf
FAIL

Ugh

$12000 and they're using a 1p crappo plastic winder handle. Dear me it's fugly.

My Monster might need adjusted every week but could beat that crap to death and still be running in 10yr without a battery.

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Nokia Lumia 625: Quality budget 4G phone ... but where's UK's budget 4G?

0laf
Facepalm

2G first please

Lots of places still struggling to get 2G.

This 4G malarkey will only be for metropolitans or a long time.

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Scots council cops £100K fine for spaffing vulnerable kids' data ONLINE

0laf
FAIL

Re: Technical Detail

She was using a second hand machine. The FTP Auto-uploader was a present left behind (accidentally or deliberately) by the previous owner.

She probably took the stuff home on an encrypted usb stick with the blessing of her manager, coz that's secure innit?

That blessing evaporating as soon as an investigation started.

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank REBELS against human control

0laf
Facepalm

Oh no

It's heading for Martian Hafords to add some bling and get the rover 'slammed'!

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Capita IT Services staff plan strike over pay this Friday

0laf

What is this thing you call a 'Pay. Raise'?

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Are driverless cars the death knell of the motor biz?

0laf
Meh

Nae chance

Self drive will just become another 'option' like sat nav. Most people like to own their cars as a little bit of mobile private space. And some people still enjoy driving.

But it would be a great option.

I can see this replacing taxis (Johnny Cab anyone) but not the private car.

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BlackBerry's retro-look QWERTY Q5 mobe: Resentment by design

0laf
Thumb Down

Generally I don't care about phone design all that much. They all look much the same. But I have to say the pictures of that Q5 make it appear particularly nasty and cheap. Certainly it's not going to stand out against the competition at the £20/month bracket.

Not a win.

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More than half of Windows 8 users just treat it like Windows 7

0laf
Thumb Up

I feel dirty but....

I saw a Dell Win8 tablet used in anger the other day. It worked really well. Non-techy user were being given the choice of the Dell or an iPad. They threw out the iPads within 10min the Dells were so much more practical. Enterprise compatible, removable batteries, sd card slots, more OEM storage no MDM needed.

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Smartwatch face off: Pebble, MetaWatch and new hi-tech timepieces

0laf
Meh

Maybe a kinetic smart-watch would be a better move in the future. It might not manage to provide all the power but it should keep it going longer.

Personally I wear a mechanical watch but that's coz I love the engineering of them, doubtful I'll be won over by a smart-watch.

Yoof of today are more likely to just sit the phone out on the desk wherever they are. I can't imagine they'll bother with one either unless [insert vacuous celebrity] promotes them.

Not sure I can see this becoming more than a geek toy unless it works its way into the mainstream like 3D tellys. Hardly anyone goes out to buy 3D tellys but they'll probably buy one with it just in case or because it has a better screen anyway.

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Stephen Hawking nixes Intel voice upgrade plan

0laf
Happy

Yup I had a recollection of something like that too. That he'd had offer of new technology to improve the quality of his simulated voice but that he'd refused because the robotic voice was now 'his' voice and he didn't want it changed.

I suppose from the technologists point of view they don't really want someone well known using what appears to be technology from 20yr ago. Makes them look bad.

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