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* Posts by 0laf

251 posts • joined 25 Nov 2009

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Fiat 500S: So pleasingly sporty we didn't want to give it back

0laf

Re: I have a...

I used to get 35-40mpg from a 2.0 Turbo petrol (197hp) Skoda Octavia on a mixed driving route. The EU lab combined average was 35.7mpg. Seems to be that the more eco the car the further away form reality the lab results are.

I know plenty of people with "gas guzzlers" paying higher VED rates that get better mpg than others with eco cars.

If nothing else it shows what a nonsense the current EU testing is.

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0laf

Real mpg?

How did the real world mpg compare with the EU paper figures.

I've heard unconfirmed stories of Fiat making Twin-Air owners sign a disclaimer that they understand the car will never achieve the lab figures on the road.

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Cable guy, Games of Thrones chap team up to make Reg 'best sci-fi film never made' reject

0laf

Re: The Martian

When you read the book you realise that the Dune film was a pretty decent stab at something that is just about unfilmable. I've not watched the later Sci-Fi channel miniseries yet.

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0laf

I like Neal Asher's Polity series myself. Not sure how well they'd translate but I'd really like to see the Spatterjay series as films. The Hoopers are my favourite characters.

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0laf

Re: The Martian

You'll enjoy it. The main character Watney is very funny and clever.

Not sure if Matt Damon will do it justice or not.

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0laf

I've only read Red Mars and I found it a bit dull to be honest. A lot of the science was interesting but the characters themselves were uninteresting for the most part.

The Martian by Andy Weir is out as a film next year. The science in it is pretty hard but it was a lot more entertaining than Red Mars.

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Good grief! Have you SEEN BlackBerry's SQUARE smartphone?

0laf

Don't know it it's enough even if it turns out to be brilliant

It's....odd. I suspect you can only really judge this one by using it for a while and a 5 minute fondle in a shop won't do that.

I'm also not very sure this will work. Sometimes how well a product works just doesn't matter. If your board members think that they will get sniggered at by their peers when they whip a BB Passport out then they won't take it, they'll stick with the shiny.

The productive people in the middle that might benefit from the productivity features and probably don't care as much about what device they use may not get the option.

Also there is still a big question over the costs of running the BB12 back end to manage these. devices. It's a big ask to overhaul everything to stick with a company that may or may not be around in 2yr. Might be easier to overhaul everything and go device agnostic allowing all mobile device types to be used.

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TEEN RAMPAGE: Kids in iPhone 6 'Will it bend' YouTube 'prank'

0laf

If they have sense the iPhone 7 will be made of spring steel

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Half a BILLION in the making: Bungie's Destiny reviewed

0laf

Re: Ded game?

^ My thought too

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Huawei ditches new Windows Phone mobe plans, blames poor sales

0laf
Alert

This was a pleasant surprise with my Lumia. It did come with some crapware but I could remove all of it without needing to resort to rooting it.

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UK.gov's flagship infosec program ISN'T DELIVERING - but all's still well, say auditors

0laf
Facepalm

I think things are better than there were but that's all come from the guys working in the trenches forming their own inter-agency networks. Not from this MP led pork barrel.

Cabinet Office still expects the work to be done by everyone else while they stamp their name on the end product and take the credit.

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Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper

0laf
Thumb Up

Loved it.

Never completed the single player game. Got to the last level but never made it. Then Uni got important. I'll still have the disks for this in a box somewhere.

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Smart meters in UK homes will only save folks a lousy £26 a year

0laf

Shiny thing make everything all better says politician

I don't need a bloody smart meter to tell me to save energy. The feckin big bill every quarter does that.

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Apple's Watch is basically electric perfume

0laf
Thumb Down

Eww

I thought Apple was good at design. That's a nasty looking watch. Like a 1980s Casio, except it is probably still working and useful after 20yr.

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TROUT and EELS in SINISTER PACT to RULE the oceans

0laf
Alien

I for one welcome our new fishy overlords

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Finally, a practical use for 3D printing: Helping surgeons rehearse

0laf
Pint

I'd have suspect there will a considerable saving from getting thing right first time so no repeat procedures. Hard to quantify I suppose but all good. Well done those boffins.

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Brit balloon bod Bodnar overflies North Pole

0laf
Pint

A double B+

Top class Boffinry with advanced Bodging. A pint to that man!

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Chromebooks to break out of US schools: Netbook 2.0 comeback not just for children

0laf
Facepalm

Oh please no, I don't need any feckin schools phoning up demanding to get MS Office and iTunes on 200 Chromebooks they've bought without asking.

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Clock ticking for Surface 3 as Microsoft preps for globo-launch

0laf

Re: I'd love one, but

+1 I'd consider a Win8 tab but the Surface is just too expensive. Especially when you add another £100 for a bad keyboard/cover.

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Apple's iWatch may be DELAYED over sapphire glass supply problems

0laf
Facepalm

Re: Watches

I love watches. The one I have on is mechanical but it has sapphire glass and I think it's quite 'smart'.

Can't stand the clunk of a quartz analogue watch ticking. I've no objection to a digital watch, I've got a G-Shock, but the idea of having to plug in a watch to charge every day just sounds awful.

Even mechanical watches will charges themselves through the movement of your wrist, Seiko has kinetic watches which recharge batteries through the same idea. Might have been a nice idea if the Smart watch people had looked back at the last 1000yr of watch making and come up with something a bit more innovative than plugging it in

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Spinning SPACE DUCK is comet-chasing Rosetta probe's PREY

0laf
Coat

Are there any potential space witches to weigh this against?

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CERN data explains how Higgs heavies other matter

0laf
Boffin

Re: Why is it so hard to see?

Yup after a couple of paragraphs my brain threw in the towel and waked out for a breath of fresh air.

And I thought I knew a little bit about quantum physics.

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That AMAZING Windows comeback: Wow – 0.5% growth in 2015

0laf

Re: There's not much wrong with windows

Just after I wrote "since MS / Nokia started selling good phones at budget prices" I saw the prices for the new Nokia 930. I see the marketing droids still have the idea that expensive sells. WinPh will only sell if it's exceptional value since it doesn't have shiny appeal and never will. I picked up a 920 for £83, that seems like a good deal, £500 for a 930 doesn't look like very good value in comparison especially when it's within £50 of a rumoured price for the iPhone6. MS won't beat the king of shiny with a 10% discount.

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0laf

Re: There's not much wrong with windows

MS are actually producing some decent stuff right now it's just being ruined by the marketing types that are obsessed with everything Apple.

Google is loosing it's sine through its data slurping obsession and the malware that's on Android

We're actually seeing the Apple-for-work fad start to fade now. Reality has bitten and it's being noticed that these devices are actually quite hard to get to work in a large multi-user environment and they need a lot of back office support (MDMs etc) anda re missing useful things like USB ports and removable storage. Apple tabs are being put down and request are starting to come in for Windows laptops again.

Even in schools where iOS and the apps can work very well, it a PITA because it's hard to move the device between individuals and they often need to sign up to itunes whether they want to or not.

People have stopped laughing at Windows Phone since MS / Nokia started selling good phones at budget prices. I've noticed a lot of improvement in the App store with 8.1. Not sure why they persevere with the overpriced Surface.

Even if Win9/10 goes cloud / client based it'll probably be optional and there will be offline working. even Chromebooks have offline capability now. Not everyone lives in a metropolitan area with wall to wall 4G. Lots of us have to live with a poor 2G signal.

MS will never be 'cool', it's the OS of school and work. If they gave up on cool and worked on 'practical' and 'usable' they'd at least firm up their core customers. Plus lots of people like devices which just work without bells ans whistles.

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Creepy battery-operated TEDDY BEAR SEX TOY. Sadly, this is for real

0laf
Paris Hilton

Mix it in with Bad Taste Bears and you're laughing, or screaming depending on your supply of C Cells.

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Microsoft tests HALF-INCH second screen to spur workplace play

0laf
FAIL

Nope

Too small to draw a standard comedy cock on therefore useless.

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Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

0laf
Mushroom

charideee

I set up a new charity website aimed to helpline other 'charities' scam money from the taxpayer in order to pay exorbitant wages to their board of directors.

It's called www.gilding-that-turd.org

My plan is not to actually do anything except getting a celebrity model (preferably on with a bit of a pus on her, seriously a model?) to wax lyrical about it to celebrity fondling magazines.

Can I have my £500k now?

Or I'll settle for My F**KIN MONEY BACK

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Car titans WON'T STEAL our tech, says Musk: DAMNIT, I'll GIVE IT to 'em

0laf
Black Helicopters

Re: This is nice but

Maybe this is to bootstrap the current ev market. The patents he's referring to now are probably toast but it doesn't mean he's going to make all future patents open.

Get the market going, profit from battery and charger technology then license future developments to the now established ev market. Long term thinking, the man isn't daft.

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Wintel pincers to squeeze iPads out of BYOD

0laf
Facepalm

Evidence I'm hearing is that the fondleslab fad is fading in the workplace. Workers are getting tired of the compromises needed to work on a tab and the extra infrastructure to make a non-enterprise OS work in a multi-user DPA paranoid environment. Even Win8.1 is a bit of a mess for enterprise.

We're back to asking for laptops now. Just don't ask about the money pissed up the wall on shiny toys, or all the toys that will never be returned to the office.

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Silent, spacious and... well, insipid: Citroën's electric C-Zero car

0laf
Coat

Buggers up when you can buy an equivalent sized small diesel or petrol car for £12k no including government subsidy. Some of them don't pay VED either and most of us don't live in London so the congestion charge is an irrelevance.

£10k buys a lot of petrol or diesel even at today's prices.

I applaud the technology but we're a long way away from electric vehicles being the obvious choice for the masses. I think most people would happily choose electric for a commuting car if it made sense we're now past the pointing and laughing stage. We're at teh stage of "I've paid a fk lot of money towards this through my taxes and I'd like to see something usable outside of London".

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Boffins publish SciFi story to announce exoplanet find

0laf
Thumb Up

Clever

Reynolds is a boffin himself or ex-boffin. Nice little tie up between science and science fiction.

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Monster croc 'the BALROG' tussles with mighty Titanoboa snake

0laf
Boffin

This Balrog seems a bit of a tiddler compared to a current salt water croc at 22 feet and 4000lbs.

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The British are coming! The British are coming! And they're buying Surface fondleslabs

0laf

Win8 tablets work better in business. They're just smaller flatter touchscreen laptops. No additional wizzy things needed. But not MS Surface, too dear, we've been getting Dells Win8 tabs and they're well liked.

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Watchdog puts UK gov IT on RED alert. Yes, that's a bad thing

0laf

Re: Watchdog puts UK gov IT on RED alert

Cabinet Office will only allow the change of bulb if the bulb changer has undergone disclosure checking, appropriate elearning programs and will only use corporately managed equipment to change the bulb. The used bulb must be disposed according to Architectural Pattern 47 and the new bulb must come from a Cabinet Office approved source with a CESG compliant filament. It is required that 50% of Bulbs will be bought from the Government eBulb store. Bulbs may be bought from an unauthorised source with prior authorisation from the Cabinet Office Department for bulbs, your requests will be answered promptly within 60 years.

In addition all bulbs must be tested by an approved lighting tester accredited to the Government BADGER scheme.

Failure to comply with any of these stipulations will result in a great deal of gum bumping from the Cabinet Office, the issue of grand threat and bugger all action. Unless you are a Government minister or the NHS in which case you can do what the hell you like.

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Tech that we want (but they never seem to give us)

0laf
FAIL

Re: Non-reflective laptop screens.

+1 for the 4:3 screen.

I've a rather ancient HP laptop that is much better than my newer Dell for actually working on.

Also proper feckin keyboards.

Send the Chiclet keyboard to hell

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0laf

Re: Smart phones where *you* decide which Apps are on them.

Strangely my Nokia 920 Windows phone is the best I've had for this. I've been able to uninstall everything that I didn't want.

The actual phone function is the best I've had for a long time too since...my Nokia 6630 classic which was a symbian feature phone .

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Cisco reboots PC with $1500 'Scandafornian' Android fondleslab

0laf
WTF?

Your Fired

Thought it was a new Amstrad Em@iler at first.

Lord Sugah will be impressed.

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Job for IT generalist ...

0laf

Information Security for you.

That was me. Have done programming, networking, support, web design, databases and lots of other odd things. Never to a degree to become an expert and never with any certs since no one pays the generalist to become a specialist.

Like you I've very good at problems solving and leading the experts, who can be blinkered, to come to good solutions.

I fell into Information Security / Information Assurance 10yr ago and it's a good fit for someone who knows a bit about everything and can learn about anything quickly. You need to be generally aware because the problems come from all angles on all subjects yet you can never be an expert in them all.

Not a lot of money until you have experience but if you can get CISSP or CLAS then plenty of well paid consultancy.

You might want to bone up on ISO27000, CISSP domains, PCI DSS, BASIL2, PSN.

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Windows Phone: Just as well Microsoft bought an Android maker, RIGHT?

0laf
Alert

Re: I actually like Windows phone

Ummm, [shuffles feet], [looks a bit embaressed]....

I quite like my Nokia 920 Windows 8 Phone too.

Fast well made, cheap and does what I need it to do very well.

Yes the app store is a bit thin but most of what you need is there just minus the 500k of garbage that's in the play store too.

It's a very good phone, camera and sat nav. But maybe not the 'lifestyle device' that people expect with Apple and Samsung.

Strangely I've come to the conclusion lately that I probably trust MS more with my data than Google or Apple. I spoke to someone very well versed in security/IA at spooky high levels and he agreed (although he was sticking with his Blackberry).

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G-Tech intros glossy HHD box: Because media 4Kers need external storage too

0laf
Pint

Re: Wow talk about branching out.....

Maybe not branching out that far since this looks like a flip-top bin.

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Windows Phone 8.1: Like WinPho 8, but BETTER

0laf
Meh

Volume

What about seperate volume levels for the ring tone and media? PITA right now. Much as I like my WinPh8 there are some really stupid things like the lack of volume controls and no file explorer.

I be happy to be able to set my own colours on the tiles, not that bothered about the background images on them.

App store is still pitiful but at least it stops me downloading loads of shite. I have an Android tablet for that.

I wonder if Nokia will sort their Music Mix through this? The last update made things considerably worse, slow and buggy. Worked fine previously.

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Boeing, Cupertino to 'explore weaponisation of Apple technologies'

0laf
Thumb Up

Nearly. Nearly had me until the end

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The Reg's desert XP-ocalypse aversion plan revealed

0laf
Thumb Up

Deep Freeze is a good call.

Turns a lot of support calls into "have you tried turning it off and on?".

Good for library environment where you might need to let people do things that will probably break computers in a day or so.

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Plusnet shunts blame for dodgy DNS traffic onto customers' routers

0laf
Meh

Re: For me there is a basic question

I can confirm the Plusnet supplied router is a pile of shite.

At least they do let you change it unlike some ISPs.

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Review of UK data protection: Should fines go OVER HALF A MIL?

0laf
Meh

No need for more in the public sector. It's other people money anyway. The public humiliation is a more motivating factor than the loss of cash.

Private sector should have a % limit. £500k is pocket-change to some of the big boys

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Learn about Microsoft Cloud OS

0laf
Unhappy

Across the UK? We've not voted yet.

Not enough money in Salmondland I suppose.

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Very fabric of space-time RIPPED apart in latest Hubble pic

0laf
Angel

Is it he?

Traversing the universe touching things with his noodly appendage

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But... you work in IT... Why aren't we RICH?

0laf
Childcatcher

WhatShatt, it's used by the yoof old boy therefore worth billions. It's only the yoof that count right now don't you know that?

Not used by anyone who actually draws a salary; in this country anyway. Pretty much like every Daily Mail evil app of the day.

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Samsung Gear splurge skews smartwatch market Google’s way

0laf
Go

Re: y'know ...

Fob watch tablet...

Foblet?

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