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* Posts by tirk

232 posts • joined 24 Nov 2009

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Microsoft CFO quits as quarterly results fail to sparkle

tirk

@ Vimes

"They also seem to have got stuck in telling us what we want rather than simply listen to what we're telling them. "

The Adam Orth Twitter debacle is more evidence of this. Ballmer's arrogance has infected a generation of management at MS.

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Move over, Mythbusters: Was Archimedes an ancient STEVE JOBS?

tirk

Re: No Steve Jobs

I bet Marcellus would disagree.

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tirk
Paris Hilton

...and a non industry standard connector.

The big innovation of the the Lightning connector is that it fits either way round. For some reason I was moved to share that.

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StreetView spots possible roadside nookie down under

tirk
Joke

Re: Dogging Down Under

Oi! Welsh <> British!!

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Scottish SF master Iain M Banks reveals he has less than a year to live

tirk
Unhappy

Thank you IMB

You have made the last 20 years brighter, and will continue to do so for many years to come.

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Speaking in Tech: Forget BYOD, now there's Bring Your Own CODE

tirk
Facepalm

Step 3...

...point out to PHB the inherent security risks with what you've sold him on and persuade them to fire all the employees and outsource them "to the cloud" too.

Step 5 - profit!

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Relaxed Windows 8 rules hint at smaller slabs to come

tirk
Mushroom

Re: please could we all agree

The problem is there are many, many previously happy MS users who are faced with a sub-optimal (at best) forced replacement for a working OS, fed up with being told by AC's that Win8 is perfect in every way, when the sales figures and their own experience suggests these AC's may be figments of MS's marketing department.

So a bit of frustration is understandable IMO, in the absence of any evidence whatsoever that MS are actually listening to their customers.

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GCHQ attempts to downplay amazing plaintext password blunder

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Sadly common in UK Gov

Ah, I forgot - when I first used it it complained that my 10 character password was too long (maximum was 8). They did at least fix that....

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tirk
Facepalm

Re: Sadly common in UK Gov

The financial system of one of my (large, public sector, UK) clients I use to manage the purchase orders they place with my company requires a password. Helpfully it informs me that it must be "at least 1 character(s) long". I have pointed this out, several times, over several months....

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Apple buys indoor mapper WiFiSLAM

tirk
Joke

This would be seriously useful to me...

I could get my phone to remind me why I came into this room!

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Reliant on Dell for PCs? Start looking around, says Gartner ball-gazer

tirk
Facepalm

"The involvement of Microsoft in the LBO..."

Dell may get out of the desktop & notebook business? Makes sense, MS seem to be trying the same thing after all.

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Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

tirk
Joke

Re: Programmer's File Editor

Nobody's mentioned it because all the Windows guys are hard at work - unlike the unemployed VI hipsters!

</skive> ;-)

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Banged-up Brit hacker hacks into his OWN PRISON'S 'MAINFRAME'

tirk
Coat

Butlins?

I didn't realise our prisons were THAT harsh!

(Pick-pocket icon of course!)

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FIFA stages shoot-out between British and German goal line tech

tirk
Mushroom

Less of a "shoot-out"...

More of a "bung-off" surely, given the way these things are normally decided in international football.

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'Bah, this Apple Shop is full of APPLES'

tirk
Coat

"...they slam the phone down"

They'll be needing Apple's repair service then!

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Permafrost melt to boost atmospheric CO2 faster than thought

tirk
Facepalm

Yes, and I've never met anyone who died from playing Russian Roulette either.

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200 million office workers gagging for a... Microsoft Surface?

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Nothing displays until someone makes a comment

They've taken away the "Start" button? Where the hell did they get that bright idea from??

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Astronomers unravel solar system's strange energy 'ribbon'

tirk
Coat

Re: astroboffins

Why not "skyentists"?

(With apologies to whoever I nicked that from!)

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Review: Living with Microsoft's new Surface Pro

tirk
Joke

Re: "Liquid Metal"

Agreed. And I bet it would start malfunctioning if you hit it with a few RPG's too.

Now if it was made by Nokia....

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Fanbois rejoice: iPhone 5, iPad Mini finally jailbroken

tirk
Facepalm

Re: @diodesign

Oh dear - SOHF much? Did you miss the "joke alert" icon? Do I really need to confess that I make my living out of Windows consultancy, and plead that I was just balancing the fanboi/droid comment??

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tirk
Joke

@diodesign

You seem to have mistyped "paid shills" as "normal people" there.

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Wikileaks reveals Icelandic FBI shenanigans

tirk
Facepalm

Re: Well...

Yes you're right, it's of no interest that a bit scary country sent it's enforcers illegally to a smaller country, and it was hushed up. Assuming you are the tyrant of said big scary country that is.

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You thought watching cat videos was harmless fun? Think AGAIN

tirk
Happy

Re: train them to target vermin?

My cats have bought back pigeons, frogs, assorted mice and voles, several rats, a budgie and a slow worm(!). Almost always alive. Catching the buggers at 3am is no fun (especially the rats). I can only think they see me as a crap hunter that needs more practice. Especially at 3am.

Releasing a pigeon from a box in your front garden just as a curious drunk walks past gets a great reaction though ;-)

Now one's dead and the other is elderly, so mostly I get brought leaves now (really!). I guess it's the thought that counts.

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Is your Surface Pro a bit full? Slot in an SD card, it's not from Apple

tirk
Joke

Re: There are these things called...

Whereas you'll look a real genius trying to do "proper work" on a TIKFAM abortion!

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tirk
Facepalm

El Reg *exists* to bash Apple, climate change... basically anything that will generate traffic. Sad but true, to quote Metallica.

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Worst broadband notspots in the UK named and shamed

tirk
Windows

Re: Luxury!

Well when I were a lad we had to send a box of punch cards to the machine room before 10:00am if we hoped to get our compilation back before home time!

But if you tell kids of today, they just don't believe you!

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iPhone hangs on in US, Japan, but EVERYONE ELSE bought an Android

tirk

Re: Wouldn't take much to spruce it up

Try the Celsius app from ITWC...

Yes, I know it's not a proper widget, more's the pity!

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Record numbers of you are reading this headline right now

tirk
Coat

Re: deniers

Stocking up on the puns I see.

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tirk
Coat

ABC denialists!

Lewis Page will be here in a minute disputing the figures

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Office 2013 now available for some home users

tirk
Coat

Re: Office Processional Plus?

The Emperor's New Clothes involved a procession....

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Latest Java patch is not enough, warns US gov: Axe plugins NOW

tirk
Windows

Re: What is needed...

To misquote Homer Simpson... Anti-virus companies; the cause of, and solution to, so many of life's problems!

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Apple 'slashes iPhone 5 screen orders', tight-fisted fanbois blamed

tirk
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Sales lost to

"The Lumia 920, gathering huge momentum now."

And QPR will win the Prem this year ;-)

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tirk
Headmaster

"Even the fanboi's aren't that gullible."

Is that an iApostrophy there??

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'Doomsday' asteroid Apophis more massive than first thought

tirk
Coat

Re: Friday 13th

At least we know which side of the date line it will land!

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5.6TB helium disks could balloon, lift WD onto enterprise throne

tirk
Joke

Re: Leakage?

So I'm speed-reading this article about balloons and now I find I have to start using metal condoms because the rubber ones leak?

Amazing what you find out here!

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Nokia chief Elop: 'Android? Hey, anything's possible!'

tirk
Happy

(Turner prize)

Nah - HP have that sewn up!

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Bob Dylan's new album is 'Copyright Extension Collection'

tirk
Unhappy

Judas!

Seems the historically appropriate thing to shout at Dylan (and yes, I guess he might not have had any influence on this decision, be her doesn't seem to have publicly condemned it either).

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Now you can control ANY Win 8 kit with your EYEBALLS

tirk
Windows

Re ...will they detect my eyes rolling...

Sure.

Clippy pops up and says "It looks like you were hoping to do some work!" Then laughs manically.

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Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet creator Gerry Anderson dies at 83

tirk

Re: Yes it did

B&W vs colour is an enormous factor in determining what gets repeated though.

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Lego quad-copter: your ultimate drone nightmare

tirk
Joke

Re: ...Lego themed fetish dungeon...

Always, always count the bricks before and after!

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tirk
Gimp

Re: Superior Format

2013 will be the year of Meccano, mark my words!

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tirk
Thumb Up

Re: Cost of LEGO

1. Buy *very* cheaply at boot sales

2. Tie loosely in pillowcase or similar

3. Run through washing machine

4. Profit!

...OK, so not great for a present for a child, but if you need *lots* for (ahem) grown-up projects...

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Google, Microsoft go head to head in Santa-tracking tech race

tirk
Happy

Re: Ha ha, MS software...

Ob. XKCD link - http://xkcd.com/612/

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Phone-hack saga: Police cuff man in southwest London

tirk

I'm glad I wasn't the only sad one who checked Wikipedia for the usual suspects ages!

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Apotheker: HP board was just as culpable for Autonomy buy

tirk
Coat

Video of Apotheker's statement here?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc52OMftJSk

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Dixons and Microsoft haggling over Surface RT Ts&Cs

tirk
Unhappy

...a clever strategy for building an eco system.

MS are playing a long game here, a several years long game. They can't compete with Android or iOS yet, and current apps frankly work better on Win 7, but they are betting on their dominant position to make TIFKAM the GUI people use at work, and the one they see in high street PC vendors over the next few years.

Personally I don't think it *deserves* to work, because they have put the GUI ahead of the applications (you know, the thingies most people actually use a computer for). But I fear it *may* work, due to their close, almost incestuous relationships with corporate/retail customers. Like IBM in the '70s, no-one will get fired for buying MS.

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Punters rate Apple, Samsung more highly than ever

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Sony rated higher than Apple?

I'm guessing it's an "aspirational" rating then. No-one who has actually experienced Sony kit in the last few years could possibly rate it above toxic waste IMHO.

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'HP has just days to cough what it knew about Autonomy'

tirk
Facepalm

HP "usual scenario"

Is there any truth to the rumour that clown cars are the new executive transport there?? Certainly fits the recent management style!

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Windows Phone 8 must be Microsoft's priority one, two AND three

tirk
Thumb Up

Social bloatware

Good term! Tight Facebook/Twitter/whatever integration may be great if you want it, but is worse than a useless feature if you don't, or just don't want to share your FB contacts with your other social/business groups(*). 86% of the world's population don't have a FB account after all.

(*It may well be that WP8 allows easy separation of different contact groups, but it's perception as "a FB phone" will make people think otherwise.)

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Microsoft’s so.cl network now open to all

tirk
Coat

Re: Socialism!

So if I get too excited over so.cl I'll turn it into j. socialism??

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