* Posts by tirk

321 posts • joined 24 Nov 2009

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Apple man found dead at Cupertino HQ, gun discovered nearby

tirk
Facepalm

Re: Ban all the guns from the planet and in 50 years it will die.

Perhaps it will run out of freedom and oil??

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Microsoft: We have a bullet ready for 12 competencies

tirk
Facepalm

"...take advantage of the unprecedented demand we’re seeing for Windows 10..."

The Reality Distortion Generator they got from Apple seems to be working well. If only they had turned it so it was facing the customers, not the staff!

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How to not get pwned on Windows: Don't run any virtual machines, open any web pages, Office docs, hyperlinks ...

tirk
Coat

Re: Hey

Information theory suggests that applying ROT-13 e times gives the optimal result.

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SpaceX's Musk: We'll reuse today's Falcon 9 rocket within 2 months

tirk

Re: The plans are going to sound crazy

Is it just me or does "Of course I still love you" sound like a Ship name from and Iain Banks novel?

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Apple: FBI request threatens kids, electricity grid, liberty

tirk

And what's to stop the defence lawyers requesting access to the source code of the cracked OS (to ensue pictures of kittens weren't replaced by plans for bombs)?

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Uncle Sam's boffins stumble upon battery storage holy grail

tirk

@uncle sjohie - no driveway

Lots of people seem to run charge cables across the sidewalk/pavement where I live (Wimbledon, a suburb of London, where the vast majority of houses don't have a driveway). Never tripped over one yet, and heard of anyone complaining.

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Who hit you, HP Inc? 'Windows 10! It's all Windows 10's fault'

tirk
Facepalm

I'm sure people will learn to love Windows 10...

...especially when they hear about the lockscreen adverts!.

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HP Inc Elite X3: Windows 10 phablet for enterprise-y types

tirk
Coat

Re: Looks shiny

Has HP given Windows Mobile the kiss of death?

No, Microsoft already did that.

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Microsoft patent filing confirms existence of 3D Jedi gesture phone

tirk

Re: This must mean

Microsoft are about to close down their phone division

According to the latest Gartner gues^w report, Windows smartphone market share for q4 2015 is down to 1.1% (from 2.8% for q4 2014), so they are well on the way! At that rate we will be selling phones to MS by this next year.

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Pilot posts detailed MS Flight Sim video of how to land Boeing 737

tirk

@Phil O'Sophical

Didn't Mythbusters do this scenario a few seasons ago? Concluded that trying to land based on MS FS knowledge was unlikely but possible, but then they called up ATC and were given a pretty simple set of instructions to trigger an auto-land sequence.

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Boffins' 5D laser-based storage tech could keep terabytes forever

tirk
Joke

Eternity? Exaggeration surely!

I doubt they'll survive the Big Rip!

(Where is the dark energy icon??)

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Virgin Atlantic co-pilot dazzled by laser

tirk

Re: How about adding the penalty of......

I suspect the sort of person that shines a laser at an aircraft doesn't think too much about the consequences for either the aircraft or themselves. What's more, you also have to catch the little darlings before you can punish them, and for every arrest/conviction story there seem to be dozens of ones where there was no-one caught.

Given that commercially available lasers use only a few restricted light wavelengths, isn't it possible to add filters for these to the cockpit windows??

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Come on kids, let's go play in the abandoned nuclear power station

tirk

Re: wind turbines

Well I can tell you from personal experience that it is frequently unbelievably windy there. One guy I knew who had transferred from Harwell tried to cycle to work there and got caught in a hail storm (he was not a pretty sight!). A fun game for the visitor to play is spot the tree!

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Snowden bag-carrier Miranda's detention was lawful – UK appeal court

tirk

Re: so basically...

It is if you incorporate laws from abroad and then enshrine them in UK law.

Don't believe everything UKIP tell you ;-) The Court has it's origin in the similarly named Convention, drafted under the leadership of a British MP (Sir David Maxwell-Fyfe), and designed to stop another Hitler. The fact that it causes UK governments so much apparent issues is the fault of the stupid legislation they try and rush through to appease the Daily Mail.

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Surface Pro 4: Will you go the F**K to SLEEP?

tirk
Joke

Re: Expensive aren't they?

...a wonder that MS has not sponsored Chelsea.

Chelsea are doing about as well as MS thse days too!

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Windows 10 won't come to old WinPhones until some time in early 2016

tirk
Joke

2016...

The year of WinFone 10?

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LHC records biggest bang ever with 1 Peta-electron-volt jolt

tirk

Re: Lead nuclear mass

It is indeed Lead-Lead collisions. More information here.

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Amazon now renting physical servers you can cuddle and love

tirk

Re: Rent

No, they have a physical servers in an offshore tax haven that they rent at obscene rates from another wing of Amazon. That's why they don't make any profits in higher-tax countries. Damn those pesky rental charges!

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Lithium-air: A battery breakthrough explained

tirk

Re: Oxygen makes things burn brightly

Existing lead-acid batteries produce hydrogen, which can also be problematic. Any decent battery technology will store a lot of energy in a small space, and if it fails be hazardous.

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The iPhone 6 doused in bromine - an incendiary mix or not?

tirk
Flame

Dioxygen difluoride

Now that would have been a bit more exciting - it's a tad more reactive than bromine. For example, it makes water ice burn at -100C.

Nasty stuff!

(Icon used for it's original meaning!)

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Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

tirk
Coat

Re: If names are rejected because they "might attract mockery"

I met a bloke called Lee Flett at a party once. Claimed his sister was called Pam.

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Windows 10 preview on death row, will be executed on Thursday

tirk
Facepalm

Re: Win10 jumps the shark.

Surely that was Windows 8. Windows 10 nuked the fridge.

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Scotland Yard pulls eyeballs off WikiLeaker-in-Chief Assange

tirk

Re: "However it is no longer proportionate to commit officers to a permanent presence"

What has suddenly changed?

The local Krispy Kreme closed down?

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GCHQ's exploding doughnut threatens to ooze into innocent field

tirk

Re: there's an opportunity here

Why don't they just use the vacant space they've got on their San Serif listening post/secret island base?

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Microsoft's big Tuesday reveal: New mobiles and slabs? Win 10 shock?

tirk
Joke

Strikes me that El Reg isn't trying hard enough if they still get invites from MS. Admittedly they are more thick skinned than Apple, but come on guys, you can do better than this!

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iOS malware YiSpecter: iPhones menaced by software nasty

tirk

Re: Fixed in iOS 9

@Velv

Sorry, no - Apple claimed that 52% of all *active devices* were using iOS 9 a couple of weeks ago, not just of all applicable devices.

http://tinyurl.com/p9xjrj6

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tirk

Fixed in iOS 9

...largely, at least. From the Paloalto Networks story:

"Note that, in Apple’s just-released iOS 9, enterprise certificate security has been improved. Users now must manually set a related provisioning profile as “trusted” in Settings before they can install Enterprise provisioned apps."

The majority of iOS devices are already upgraded to 9.

(Any device can get malware on it if the software between the users ears isn't up to the job, of course)

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Google spews out Alphabet. Alphabet gobbles Google

tirk

Re: Tax reasons...?

It's like the ball and three cups game, except this is the profits and fifty companies, two hundred countries game.

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XCodeGhost iOS infection toll rises from 39 to a WHOPPING 4,000 apps

tirk
Facepalm

"And crucially you can get it from mirrors easily enough and check the MD5."

It appears that plenty of developers were happy to download XCode from dodgy Chinese sites without any checks. Are you really suggesting that all Android devs are likely to be different? Unless they are, the same attack vector exists, and no amount of Apple-bashing denialism changes that.

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tirk
Unhappy

Not entirely surprised

I thought it would be much bigger than the original 50 or so when I saw that list included WinZip. I suppose I can see how a Chinese small developer might end up downloading Xcode from a dodgy Chinese language site, but WinZip is from Corel, who are Canadian.

Outsourcing development, perhaps??

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Witness Apple's iPhone-iPad extravapalooza here in our no-hate zone

tirk
Facepalm

Re: "If you see a stylus, they blew it." -Steve Jobs

Reminded me of:

"Nobody Will Ever Need More Than 640k RAM!" -- Bill Gates. (In 1981, to be fair.)

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Patching a fragmented, Stagefrightened Android isn't easy

tirk

Re: REM had the answer in 1992?

Nightswimming? Take your device with you and the vulnerability is gone!

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Why is the smart home insecure? Because almost nobody cares

tirk
Terminator

Top article

True, funny and scary. Could be the back-story for the next Terminator reboot.

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Pirate MEP: Microsoft's walled garden is no consumer pleasure park

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Dodgy legal ground..

We'll probably find that TTIP will retroactively make these sort of clauses legal and binding.

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Ofcom coverage map: 7/10 – must try harder next time

tirk

Re: Is it just me?

Link to map - http://www.ofcom.org.uk/mobile-coverage

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Help! Our Virgin Media TiVo boxes are stuck in a loop! Help! Our Virgin..

tirk

Re: London time??

In the U.K. there is only London when it comes to news.

One third of the population of the UK lives or works inside the M25. London produces roughly half the taxes for the UK.

If you want us to become independent, a la Singapore, just say the word.

(Queue the downvotes from the UKIP types I guess....)

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Windows 10 on Mobile under the scope: Flaws, confusion, and going nowhere fast

tirk

Version 3

It used to be said that no MS product was worth using until the third version was produced. If MS never let an OS reach it's third iteration, then they will continue to have a real problem.

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Minister for Fun opens consultation on future of the BBC

tirk

Re: Open up BBC TV to the world

"I agree. But even Amazon and Netflix streaming TV services can't manage to get worldwide licensing for "broadcast" from the IP holders."

If it's BBC created content, then presumably the BBC own the IP rights anyway.

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WHOA! Windows 10 to be sold on USB drives – what a time to be alive

tirk
Coat

Floppy disks?

Some of us remember installing software from punched cards!

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We tried using Windows 10 for real work and ... oh, the horror

tirk
Mushroom

@jbuk1

"Seriously, who actually uses a start menu when since Xp sp2 it's been easier to...."

That sounds awfully like "you're holding it wrong" to me.

Pardon me but I'll hold/use *my* stuff the way *I* want to.

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Sick of Chrome vs Firefox? Check out these 3 NEW browsers

tirk

Re: New browsers pop up all the time.

@Stevie

Gopher and WAIS? Luxury! I still use the reference section of the public library!

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The BBC wants to slap a TAX on EVERYONE in BLIGHTY

tirk

Re: If you emmigrate

Do you get to watch the Beeb for free?

Some of it. You also get added adverts on some services, and some content geographically blocked. The ability to buy a TV licence for overseas use (or somehow identify yourself as holding a licence, eg when on holiday) is a not infrequent request.

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End well: this won't. European Copyright Society wants one EU law to rule 'em all

tirk

Re: Flucking Crackheads...

Leaving the EU (in this case) would just mean the UK government would have no say in the regulations which would end up being imposed on them anyway. Do you really think the multinational lobbyists behind this sort of stuff are more worried about the UK out of the EU than in?? There may be arguments for leaving, but this ain't one.

A better question is why so many UK politicians don't care about stuff like this.

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Disk areal density: Not a constant, consistent platter

tirk
Happy

Re: Memories ...

Glad I'm not the only old fart here ;-)

The joy of optimising COBOL sort steps by seeing how much the disk drives (damn, forget the number!) shook on the old 360/40. Don't get me started on punched cards....

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Is there ANOTHER UNIVERSE headed BACKWARDS IN TIME?

tirk
Coat

Re: NOO!!!

You think that's bad? Just wait until you have to go to the toilet!

(Red Dwarf hat-tip).

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Uber surge pricing kicks in during Sydney siege

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Over here...

Over here they can only be a taxi service.

Isn't the whole point of Uber that it ignores existing taxi regulations and screams and holds it's breath when people suggest it should be regulated (who doesn't want to be driven by a criminal or psychopath after all?)

Personally, I use black cabs (advantage of living in London though)

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REVEALED: Titsup flight plan mainframe borks UK air traffic control

tirk
Facepalm

Re: Properly engineered systems!

...can still fail if implemented badly. I remember being at a client's new datacentre many years ago were they had half a dozen or so S370s. There was a power failure affecting the whole site, but the UPS, followed by the on-site generator, kept the mainframes running. Unfortunately, some genius had wired the mainframes consoles into the normal ring main, rather then the protected circuit, so whilst the 370's continued running, not a lot could be done with them! Doh!

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UK flights CRIPPLED by system outage that shut ALL London airspace

tirk

UPS's sometimes fail, vital bits of kit sometime end up "temporarily" being plugged into the regular power supply, etc, etc.

Just having a plan for when things go wrong isn't the same as it working.

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NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling

tirk

Re: Beep, beep, beep ...

Ha, just wait until New Horizons asks when it's coming back home!

(Mandatory XKCD reference.)

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