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* Posts by tirk

240 posts • joined 24 Nov 2009

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Apple orders huge MOUNTAIN of 80 MILLION 'Air' iPhone 6s

tirk
Mushroom

Re: As a Galaxy Note User...

The stylus will be Apple's next invention...

Whoever invents the mute button for these pathetic phone wars gets my eternal praise. Honestly, leave it in the playground!

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3

PROOF the Apple iPhone 6 rumor mill hype-gasm has reached its logical conclusion

tirk
Holmes

What lights up with the notification of an iRumour?

El Reg clickbait department.

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BBM beta comes to Windows Phone

tirk
FAIL

Marriage made in hell

Polished Turd, meet Pig in Lipstick.

Sadly I suspect I know some corporate "IT professionals" who will actually like this!

3
1

Apple 5S still best-selling smartphone 8 months after launch

tirk

I think that a Platform Top 10 would be more interesting.

But are there 10 platforms??

Seriously, we all know Android wins by if you count by volume, and iOS by profit, with everyone else way behind.

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That AMAZING Windows comeback: Wow – 0.5% growth in 2015

tirk

Re: What's to look forward to?

>>Stupid statement. How can people prefer the poor-security, slower and less manageable XP to modern 7/8?

Me for one, since you asked so nicely.

>>What you've written is rubbish.

Did I say nicely? My mistake.

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3

Redmond is patching Windows 8 but NOT Windows 7, say security bods

tirk
Unhappy

So (assuming this is true) Microsoft will sell you a new copy of Win 7 with security holes they know about, and know (at least in general terms) how to patch, but won't provide a patch? To my unlawyerly eyes that does not seem to be "merchantable quality".

Better call Saul! (No wait, doesn't he work for MS now?)

8
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Welcome to Heathrow Terminal, er, Samsung Galaxy S5

tirk
Joke

But today is 19 May not 1 April....

"British Airways apologise for the late arrival of that joke."

33
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Boeing shows off 7-4-heaven SPACEPLANE-for-tourists concept

tirk
Happy

Re: Whaaaat??

Have an upvote you hoopy frood!

7
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VMware reveals 27-patch Heartbleed fix plan

tirk

running the workarounds you've implemented when you found out you were vulnerable

History suggests that many still don't know, and probably won't realize even when they get the patch (which they will ignore). There are too many underskilled/overworked/alienated to the point of not caring sysadmins out there to ensure that this issue will not be fixed quickly.

2
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Windows XP is finally DEAD, right? Er, not quite. Here's what to do if you're stuck with it

tirk

Re: "As of now, if a new vulnerability is written"

It's all there in the EULA:

Since when did a contract trump the law? I didn't think you could sign away your consumer rights, let alone wave them away by opening a CD, or clicking on a dialog box.

(However I suspect Microsoft's lawyers are bigger and better paid than "IANAL" me.)

2
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tirk
Pirate

Bit torrent is your friend.

I'm sure the patches that MS are providing to their corporate paying customers will soon start appearing on TPB!! So nothing to worry about, eh??

(Yes, this is a joke, but I bet something purporting to be these will appear, and I further bet large numbers of numpties will download them too).

3
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Hotmail-gate: Windows 8 code leaker pleads guilty to theft of trade secrets

tirk

Re: Theft of windows 8 code

"And nothing of value was lost."

12
3

HP exec: 'It's our GOD-GIVEN right' to rule the world of biz fondleslabs

tirk

Re: Leading with Windows tablets again

And HP, like MS, seem to have installed the distortion field the wrong way round too.

5
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EU delays vote on roaming, open internet after TRANSLATION fail

tirk
Coat

Re: Wha?

"Sangria-drinking donkey-tossers" is the accepted UKIP designation for our Iberian chums I believe.

4
0

Reg HPC man relives 0-day rootkit GROUNDHOG DAY

tirk
Thumb Up

Just shows it could happen to anyone

Thanks for sharing that, I think - I will now spend all weekend thinking about our security & backup procedures ;-)

...For some reason the quotation from Full Metal Jacket comes to mind:

Animal Mother: Better you than me.

5
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HP 'KNEW' about Autonomy's hardware sales BEFORE the whistle blew: report

tirk
Facepalm

So HP's defense is they didn't know Autonomy were selling HP kit?

I wouldn't be surprised if some of HP's executives didn't know that HP sold HP kit!

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2e2 debt recovery specialist finds... £2,000 in six months

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Administrators fees?

Their fees come out of the "£4.8m ... coughed to secured creditors" AIUI. Insolvency is a nasty business, but some people make money out of it.

2
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Baby's got the bends: LG's D958 G Flex Android smartie

tirk
Joke

Re: Almost true (@Piro)

These sort of comments always make me think of this.

1
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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

tirk
Facepalm

The Oxygene of publicity...

JMJ - another struggling musician who's living in poverty due to music piracy.

10
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Microsoft to RIP THE SHEETS off Windows 9 aka 'Threshold' in April

tirk

Re: Save billions on marketing

Trey Parker as the new CEO perhaps? About the only way they can get any more laughs....

(Note lack of "Joke Alert" icon.)

0
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Windows Phone app devs, this is for you

tirk
Joke

"....1020 handsets."

A very accurate sales figure there!

10
1

Click here to BEAT OFF David Cameron's web SMUT ban

tirk

Re: 3% is all you need to swing a bunch of marginal seats and win an election....

Yes, if they all vote the same way. Which they won't.

0
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It's true, the START MENU is coming BACK to Windows 8, hiss sources

tirk

Re: Too little, too late?

Frankly if they even charged a modest fee for support of XP until 2015 many people would be happy to pay.

6
0

Microsoft Surface slabs borked by heat-induced DIM SCREEN OF DEATH

tirk

Re: Microsofties at their *best*

IBM in the 60s used to call them "unexpected features" IIRC.

0
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PANIC OVER DROOPING house prices hits MEMBER-shaped estate

tirk
Coat

"Prince Albert"

That's got a ring to it!

20
0

Reg hack fondles a sexy Pro: An Apple MacBook 13in with Retina display

tirk
Coat

Re: Well, that has never been said before

Freudian slip - I read that as "niffy".

1
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Google, Microsoft to drop child sex abuse from basic web search

tirk
Joke

"Why don't they just disconnect the data cables to the dark internet?"

"It's wireless!"

5
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Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction

tirk
Trollface

Bronies

Can we the MLP saddos involved in a three way fight? If so, the popcorn industry would benefit!

1
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Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

tirk
Unhappy

"...multi-trillion dollar liabilities at the hands of the Indian government"?

If it's anything like the action taken against Union Carbide after the Bhopal disaster, MS won't be worried in the slightest.

8
1

The TRUTH behind Microsoft Azure's global cloud mega-cock-up

tirk
Unhappy

"...infrastructure that scales"

...the bugs scale too, apparently.

1
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Digital radio may replace FM altogether - even though nobody wants it

tirk

Re: 30% seems high to me

FWIW I have 5 DAB radios at home (mostly rechargeable, which gets round much of the battery issues) and one in the car (a second-hand Focus, to preempt the conclusion-jumping). Admittedly I do live in a very good signal area, but overall I wouldn't want to go back to FM.

2
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A steam punk VDU ?

tirk

Minecraft

Has various examples of this, for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0e9fZ0242Y

0
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Microsoft: Everyone stop running so the fat kid Win RT can catch up

tirk

Re: Success???

@JDX "Where do you get that number from, did you just make it up to look cool?"

Latest number in Wikipedia, since you asked so nicely.

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tirk

Success???

3 years after going on sale a share of about 3% is a pretty poor success in my book.

13
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Give us a break: Next Android version to be called 'KitKat'

tirk

Re: Hershey's chocolate

"or 5.1 Snickers-but-when-I-was-young-it-was-called-Marathon"

If you really want an "S" that gets the old fart brigade going, how about "Spangels"?

0
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BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT

tirk
Unhappy

"Maybe the new guy will start listening to the customer..."

Don't hold your breath. Ballmer has surrounded himself with yes--men and they will decide (in most part) who his successor is. The best days of Microsoft are behind them.

10
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Asus boss flushes down tabs, says 'Windows RT has not been successful'

tirk
Joke

Fondleslab

You get downvoted for mentioning Radio 4 now?? The R2 fanbois are out in force I see ;-)

0
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Smashing your phone? There's an app stupid game for that

tirk
Thumb Up

Re: Surely...

Upvoted for the last line!

0
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Microsoft cuts Surface Pro price by $100

tirk
Joke

Re: PC World...

...where they can add beans for extra security!

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/upgrade-pt2/

0
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So, who here LURVES Windows Phone? Put your hands up, Brits

tirk

Bloatware (@spiny norman)

One of the advantages Apple have in being the monopoly hardware supplier is no bloatware and hence consistency. I often think this is underrated as one of the factors that make their users loyal.

0
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Apple's shock treatment: An authentic charger-spotting guide

tirk

Re: Spotting a clone

Or buy a *decent* smaller USB charger, like this - https://www.themu.co.uk/

0
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Beijing fanboi in coma after iPhone 4 shock treatment

tirk

Re: Hmmm

At least one case seems to be down to a fake charger:

http://tinyurl.com/nb72tpf

1
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Microsoft admits it's '18 months behind' with Windows 8 slabs

tirk

"The iPad will be marginalised..."

"...by Android devices. Meanwhile, Win8 devices are hoping to compete with Blackberry tablets."

Or is making hilarious claims the only way MS can think of to get publicity these days?

11
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The irresistible rise of the corporate app

tirk

Re: It's a fashion statement

HTML5 may provide convergence between the app and the web site you refer to.

0
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US Navy coughs $34.5m for hyper-kill railgun that DOESN'T self-destruct

tirk
Mushroom

The new "Nintendo Effect"....

Admirals wanting the weapons they played with on their games consoles. I guess it's one way to use up the bloated budget.

3
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What's the difference between GEEKS and NERDS?

tirk
Mushroom

Re: Rather than consult one expert,

A classic "truthiness" post (sounds clever, but is just plain wrong). The question is one of the use of two words, particularly in popular culture, so the "experts" are indeed, the masses, statistically analysed as here. IMO.

0
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Review: HP Slate 7 Android tablet

tirk
Unhappy

Re: I see more and more tourists around London capturing the sights with tablets

You "accidentally walk into them" and complain that they are inconsiderate?? Pot/kettle mate.

2
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Prosecutor on Private Manning's Wiki-leaks: 'Arrogance meets access'

tirk

Re: Downvotes

@Ole Juul - if so, your comment should get as many, if nor more, downvotes I think.

0
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Microsoft opens kimono on Server 2012 R2 at steamy Orleans bash

tirk
Coat

I wonder if Eadon realises that his predictable mentalist ramblings are probably having the opposite effect in terms of promoting Linux, rather like the creepy fanatics who stop you in the street promoting their religious views.

So you're saying Eadon is some king of "hooker for Linux"?

Eww!

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