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* Posts by tirk

261 posts • joined 24 Nov 2009

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Citrix: Wearables allow conference calls 'while rocking a baby to sleep'

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Not sure about jogging but...

Fitness, and a bit of disregard for personal safety?

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A drone of one's own: Reg buyers' guide for UAV fanciers

tirk
Coat

Re: Flying on manual

I didn't see the 'have you purchased your C4?' option on Amazon at the checkout. Am I missing something?

It was replaced by the "have you purchased your Albanian flag?" when I last looked.

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It's a TAB-tastrophe – 83 million fewer units to ship in 2014

tirk
Gimp

Re: 2 years for my Nexus 7...

Perhaps 'shiny shiny' is a reference to the lyrics of the VU's Venus in Furs. In which case 'the naughty step' could be just where the OP wants to be sent??

(Icon for obvious reasons.)

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Don't bother telling people if you lose their data, say Euro bods

tirk
Coat

ROT-13 is strong ...

Especially if applied twice.

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Coughing for 4G, getting 2G... Networks' penny-pinching SECRETS REVEALED

tirk

Re: Population density

Yup. As another example try getting the latest scores from a crowded football ground at half time.

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Wide-ranging UK DATA SHARING moves one step closer

tirk
Coat

Unique combination of names?

Pah, that's nothing!

http://xkcd.com/327/

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Microsoft confirms Surface NOT DEAD YET, next-gen version coming

tirk
Facepalm

...or what it might look like.

A dead horse being flogged? (In the punishment sense, not the way MS might hope for).

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Inflatables in SPAAACE! ISS 'nauts to enjoy bouncy castle spaceship

tirk

Re: PLAY NICE NOW

At least none of them would have a problem with the weight limit.

A mass limit OTOH....

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How much is Microsoft earning from its Android taxes again?

tirk
Unhappy

How long will these 'patents' be valid for?

As long as the megacorps keep paying the governments to extend the law. At least that's how copyright works.

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3

Apple's iPhone 6 can REVERSE BALDNESS (and cause it, too)

tirk
Coat

Re: Only 9 people have complained to Apple about bent phones (and lived)

The rounded corners on your phone are clearly hyperbol(a)e.

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Feds: Cheeky scammers are impersonating us in criminal capers

tirk
Facepalm

Re: Guilty Conscience

You clearly don't do IT support for elderly relatives.

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Swiss cops BAN MASKS at meeting of rebellious United Nations IP staff

tirk

Sepp Blatter?

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iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!

tirk
Trollface

Re: So which IOS gadget got to have a cardiac arrest OS ?

Version 1 of software tends to have bugs... Like v1 of posts "only semi-fir for purpose"?

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Wanna keep your data for 1,000 YEARS? No? Hard luck, HDS wants you to anyway

tirk
Coat

In 3014, future historians open the archive to discover...

Rick Astley?

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Infosec geniuses hack a Canon PRINTER and install DOOM

tirk
Coat

Tyson mode?

Pencil and paper. For extra badass, not erasers allowed!

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What could possibly go wrong? Banks could provide ID assurance for Gov.UK – report

tirk
Unhappy

Re: But retail banks are clueless about security

To misquote Douglas Adams, they are so primitive they still think Trusteer is a pretty neat idea.

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CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap

tirk
Coat

Re: rippled?

You are Marianne Faithfull AICM£10

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Time to move away from Windows 7 ... whoa, whoa, who said anything about Windows 8?

tirk

Re: Linux maybe, but OSX.. You'd need to be off your tree.

But are you comparing "OSX" or "MacOS OSX" with "Windows" or "Windows 7"? That's before we get to the version number vs service pack level. You may be right, but there's an element of apples and oranges in such a comparison.

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Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

tirk
Coat

The really ironic addition ...

... in a squillion word dictionary would surely be "TL;DR"

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HP says it will sue former Autonomy CFO Sushovan Hussein

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Wow

What do HP management care? It's not their money at risk, it's the shareholders after all.

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POW! Apple smites Macbook Air EFI firmware update borkage

tirk

Re: Ah well...

It does say "biting the had that feeds IT" up there on the right. Though I think this is more of a gumming TBH.

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Apple orders huge MOUNTAIN of 80 MILLION 'Air' iPhone 6s

tirk
Mushroom

Re: As a Galaxy Note User...

The stylus will be Apple's next invention...

Whoever invents the mute button for these pathetic phone wars gets my eternal praise. Honestly, leave it in the playground!

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PROOF the Apple iPhone 6 rumor mill hype-gasm has reached its logical conclusion

tirk
Holmes

What lights up with the notification of an iRumour?

El Reg clickbait department.

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BBM beta comes to Windows Phone

tirk
FAIL

Marriage made in hell

Polished Turd, meet Pig in Lipstick.

Sadly I suspect I know some corporate "IT professionals" who will actually like this!

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Apple 5S still best-selling smartphone 8 months after launch

tirk

I think that a Platform Top 10 would be more interesting.

But are there 10 platforms??

Seriously, we all know Android wins by if you count by volume, and iOS by profit, with everyone else way behind.

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That AMAZING Windows comeback: Wow – 0.5% growth in 2015

tirk

Re: What's to look forward to?

>>Stupid statement. How can people prefer the poor-security, slower and less manageable XP to modern 7/8?

Me for one, since you asked so nicely.

>>What you've written is rubbish.

Did I say nicely? My mistake.

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Redmond is patching Windows 8 but NOT Windows 7, say security bods

tirk
Unhappy

So (assuming this is true) Microsoft will sell you a new copy of Win 7 with security holes they know about, and know (at least in general terms) how to patch, but won't provide a patch? To my unlawyerly eyes that does not seem to be "merchantable quality".

Better call Saul! (No wait, doesn't he work for MS now?)

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Welcome to Heathrow Terminal, er, Samsung Galaxy S5

tirk
Joke

But today is 19 May not 1 April....

"British Airways apologise for the late arrival of that joke."

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Boeing shows off 7-4-heaven SPACEPLANE-for-tourists concept

tirk
Happy

Re: Whaaaat??

Have an upvote you hoopy frood!

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VMware reveals 27-patch Heartbleed fix plan

tirk

running the workarounds you've implemented when you found out you were vulnerable

History suggests that many still don't know, and probably won't realize even when they get the patch (which they will ignore). There are too many underskilled/overworked/alienated to the point of not caring sysadmins out there to ensure that this issue will not be fixed quickly.

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Windows XP is finally DEAD, right? Er, not quite. Here's what to do if you're stuck with it

tirk

Re: "As of now, if a new vulnerability is written"

It's all there in the EULA:

Since when did a contract trump the law? I didn't think you could sign away your consumer rights, let alone wave them away by opening a CD, or clicking on a dialog box.

(However I suspect Microsoft's lawyers are bigger and better paid than "IANAL" me.)

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tirk
Pirate

Bit torrent is your friend.

I'm sure the patches that MS are providing to their corporate paying customers will soon start appearing on TPB!! So nothing to worry about, eh??

(Yes, this is a joke, but I bet something purporting to be these will appear, and I further bet large numbers of numpties will download them too).

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Hotmail-gate: Windows 8 code leaker pleads guilty to theft of trade secrets

tirk

Re: Theft of windows 8 code

"And nothing of value was lost."

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HP exec: 'It's our GOD-GIVEN right' to rule the world of biz fondleslabs

tirk

Re: Leading with Windows tablets again

And HP, like MS, seem to have installed the distortion field the wrong way round too.

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EU delays vote on roaming, open internet after TRANSLATION fail

tirk
Coat

Re: Wha?

"Sangria-drinking donkey-tossers" is the accepted UKIP designation for our Iberian chums I believe.

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Reg HPC man relives 0-day rootkit GROUNDHOG DAY

tirk
Thumb Up

Just shows it could happen to anyone

Thanks for sharing that, I think - I will now spend all weekend thinking about our security & backup procedures ;-)

...For some reason the quotation from Full Metal Jacket comes to mind:

Animal Mother: Better you than me.

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HP 'KNEW' about Autonomy's hardware sales BEFORE the whistle blew: report

tirk
Facepalm

So HP's defense is they didn't know Autonomy were selling HP kit?

I wouldn't be surprised if some of HP's executives didn't know that HP sold HP kit!

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2e2 debt recovery specialist finds... £2,000 in six months

tirk
Unhappy

Re: Administrators fees?

Their fees come out of the "£4.8m ... coughed to secured creditors" AIUI. Insolvency is a nasty business, but some people make money out of it.

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Baby's got the bends: LG's D958 G Flex Android smartie

tirk
Joke

Re: Almost true (@Piro)

These sort of comments always make me think of this.

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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

tirk
Facepalm

The Oxygene of publicity...

JMJ - another struggling musician who's living in poverty due to music piracy.

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Microsoft to RIP THE SHEETS off Windows 9 aka 'Threshold' in April

tirk

Re: Save billions on marketing

Trey Parker as the new CEO perhaps? About the only way they can get any more laughs....

(Note lack of "Joke Alert" icon.)

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Windows Phone app devs, this is for you

tirk
Joke

"....1020 handsets."

A very accurate sales figure there!

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Click here to BEAT OFF David Cameron's web SMUT ban

tirk

Re: 3% is all you need to swing a bunch of marginal seats and win an election....

Yes, if they all vote the same way. Which they won't.

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It's true, the START MENU is coming BACK to Windows 8, hiss sources

tirk

Re: Too little, too late?

Frankly if they even charged a modest fee for support of XP until 2015 many people would be happy to pay.

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Microsoft Surface slabs borked by heat-induced DIM SCREEN OF DEATH

tirk

Re: Microsofties at their *best*

IBM in the 60s used to call them "unexpected features" IIRC.

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PANIC OVER DROOPING house prices hits MEMBER-shaped estate

tirk
Coat

"Prince Albert"

That's got a ring to it!

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Reg hack fondles a sexy Pro: An Apple MacBook 13in with Retina display

tirk
Coat

Re: Well, that has never been said before

Freudian slip - I read that as "niffy".

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Google, Microsoft to drop child sex abuse from basic web search

tirk
Joke

"Why don't they just disconnect the data cables to the dark internet?"

"It's wireless!"

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Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction

tirk
Trollface

Bronies

Can we the MLP saddos involved in a three way fight? If so, the popcorn industry would benefit!

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Microsoft fears XP could cause Indian BANKOCALYPSE

tirk
Unhappy

"...multi-trillion dollar liabilities at the hands of the Indian government"?

If it's anything like the action taken against Union Carbide after the Bhopal disaster, MS won't be worried in the slightest.

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