* Posts by Big_Boomer

454 posts • joined 18 May 2007

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Baffled Scots cops call in priest to deal with unruly spirits

Big_Boomer
Coat

Chucka

Ladies and Gentlegeeks, I present for your delectation, the one, the only, RattaPult. Fully WiFi connected (bluetooth an optional extra) allowing you to pult your rat from anywhere in the world (subject to available internet connectivity). Mines the one with the IoT back massager and the collar speakers.

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POS malware stings 20 US hotels

Big_Boomer

POS?

To me POS will always mean something else entirely. I'm guessing that those in the Point Of Sale equipment business understand the other meaning,.... or are both meanings applicable? That would certainly explain the recent spate or hackings and crackings. Why haven't these companies marketing people come up with a new and better acronym?

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Hitler ‘ransomware’ offers to sell you back access to your files – but just deletes them

Big_Boomer

Ransonware

"Rançon" is French for ransom so I suspect someone is either French/Francophone or else wants us to think so. Have now seen several instances of Ransom-ware and anyone who pays should be permanently denied all internet access privileges and only be allowed a phone if it involves yoghurt cups and string. Backup your data people!!!

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London's 'automatic' Tube trains suffered 750 computer failures last year

Big_Boomer

Re: Vacancy for Robot Phsycologists now arising

Or Robot Psychologists even. :-)

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Windows 10 still free, even the Anniversary Update, if you're crass

Big_Boomer

Daft!

Why bother to put a time limit on the free upgrade? Everyone who wanted it already has it, everyone else will probably never use it. If ya buy a new PC it will come with Win10 as you won't be able to buy Win7 or earlier. If you choose to use *nix then good for you and I hope it makes you happy and fulfilled.

If you wanted but missed out on the free upgrade then tough ****! You had a whole year,.... now wake the **** up and get with it! :-)

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Cyberpunks might not be crooks but they're really very rude

Big_Boomer

Wha?

Cyberpunk is a "genre" so not sure if El Reggies should be using it to describe an individual or individuals. Now a cyber-punk would be an apt description of the thieving geek scum in question. If you take offence to my use of the term geek,....well you can Fdisk /mbr off and connect to 127.0.0.1!

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Oh dear, Vodafone: Sales dip in UK

Big_Boomer

Vodacrap

My experience of Vodanaff was some 15 years of decent service followed by worsening signals, incompetent support, constant price hikes, and regular outages. When I complained that the signal level at my home had gone from 4 bars to 1 (and to get that I had to go upstairs, and I live in the middle of a housing estate in a medium sized town) their response was to try to sell me a £60 microcell jobby that would route their calls through MY broadband connection. REALLY? Are their people really that stupid. So, I got the **** out and moved to Tesco. 3 years later I am still with them, am paying less than half what I was paying Vodacrud 3 years ago for a much better phone and more minutes, have 4 bars signal at home, and whenever I have to call their Support, they are a joy to deal with. Of course, that may change now they have outsourced their support, but I hope not.

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World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

Big_Boomer
Alien

Holy Ghost

Who is to say that the "Ghost in the machine" isn't the Holy Ghost? Would be funny as **** if it turned out that there was a God and her name was Pikachu.

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Apple Watch craze over before it started: Wrist-puter drags market screaming off a cliff

Big_Boomer

Fitbit

I can't remember ever seeing anybody wearing an iWatch. Fitbits on the other hand seem to be everywhere. Of no interest to me either way. Was always gonna be a small market compared to smartphone sales. I also believe that Joe/Jane Public are finally starting to get wise to "The Hype". Hopefully the manufacturers will now start developing stuff that actually makes a difference to our lives rather than just another useless bit of bling with the "right" logo on it.

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Tesla whacks guardrail in Montana, driver blames autopilot

Big_Boomer

Darwin Fail!

"Damn" said Darwin,. "Nearly had him!". Oh well, he's a ****up so undoubtedly another opportunity will come along soon. Just need to make sure he doesn't breed first.

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You can be my wingman any time! RaspBerry Pi AI waxes Air Force top gun's tail in dogfights

Big_Boomer
Terminator

I for one...

would like to welcome our new RaspberryPI masters.

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DARPA demands brand-new command … IN SPAAACE!

Big_Boomer

Until a Hacker uploads a SpamBot to your brain and you spend the rest of your life spouting off about cheap Cialis and cheap Oakleys.

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Brexit? Cutting the old-school ties would do more for Brit tech world

Big_Boomer

Dance Monkey Dance!

Your Masters have commanded you to free them from the shackles of the EU and you are going to do it. Afterwards you are all going to cry about how you were deceived and you didn't know and it's not your fault. But then it will be too late. Of course the rest of us will have to suffer alongside you, but at least we will be able to smugly say "Told you so!". Murdoch et al must be laughing their arses off at you all. God forbid that you try and look at what is going on and actually think for yourself. Much easier to do what the shiny box tells you to do. Dance Monkey Dance!!

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FBI director claims that videoing police is causing crime uptick

Big_Boomer

MORE GUNS!

I know,... the solution is MORE GUNS! Everyone should be required to carry a gun at all times, even in the shower or on the loo. That will help lower the murder rate. <LOL> It still stuns me how an entire nation can be so oblivious to utterly obvious facts that having guns in every ones hands leads to more gun deaths, especially when so many of those with the guns are young, poor, reckless and have nothing to lose.

As for Police brutality, it is everywhere but is almost always just a few bad eggs. I do feel sorry for the cops in some instances as they get constantly provoked and everyone has a breaking point. This brutality almost always happens in "low rent" areas where the public are poor and far more likely to turn to violent crime as they have little to lose, but the cops as many others have said HAVE to hold themselves to a much higher standard of behaviour. If you can't handle it then you shouldn't get the badge.

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Brexit campaign group fined £50k for sending half a million spam texts

Big_Boomer
Childcatcher

Do what the Bankers tell you

You are all completely missing the point here. The ONLY reason for the UK to leave the EU is to prevent the trading banks from having to toe the line and stop pissing money up the wall (and into bonuses). They want unregulated trade so they can steal more of your money and get away with it.

The EU is a bloated, undemocratic, slow old monster and sorely needs good a kick up the jacksie but leaving is never going to solve anything. Essentially what the leave campaign are saying is that they want a divorce and they don't want to try marriage counselling and who cares what happens to the kids. Have you experienced your parents divorcing or seen a friends parents divorcing. Yes life goes on but the effects are generally crappy for all parties, at least for a while,... and the ONLY winners are the lawyers.

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This program can detect if you're bored – which is going to make annoying ads, articles so much more annoying

Big_Boomer

More annoying?

Go ahead, make them more annoying. I already have a list of companies I will never buy from because their adverts have irritated me. It will just become a longer list. Advertisers need to wake up to the fact that they are ALREADY alienating potential customers with their "ram the advert down their throat" mentality. Irritate me sufficiently and I will look up who owns that brand and decide to never purchase any of the owners products. Companies beware, shortly your advertisers are going to start costing you sales.

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Apple: Samsung ripped off our phone patent! USPTO: What patent?

Big_Boomer

2001 a Rounded Corner Odyssey

Geeks and Geekesses,... I give you the HP/Compaq TC1000/1100 launched in 2002. Somewhat pre-dates all modern devices by a fair margin. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HP_Compaq_TC1100

Also, similar shaped tablets can be seen in 2001 A Space Odyssey released in 1969.

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Big_Boomer

Prior Art

HP TC1000 circa 2002 is earlier than most. Perhaps HP should sue Apple? As for the US Patent Office they get an EPIC FAIL, unless as surmised it was all a protectionist conspiracy. Either way Apple are laughing all the way to the bank.

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BBC risks wrath of android rights activists with Robot Wars reboot

Big_Boomer

HUH?

Robot - a machine capable of carrying out a complex series of actions automatically, especially one programmable by a computer. Never saw one of those on "Robot Wars"

Android - (in science fiction) a robot with a human appearance. Nope, never saw one of those either, except once or twice when Craig was hungover. :)

As for the reboot,.. LET THE WARS BEGIN!!

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Longing to bin Photoshop? Rock-solid GIMP a major leap forward

Big_Boomer

PSP

You can all laugh at me if you like but I still use JASC Paint Shop Pro 7 Anniversary Edition. Bought it way back in the early noughties and have never had a reason to use anything else. GUI, Filters, file format support, and utilities are good enough. Like the man said, I know it and it does what I need. Tried GIMP a year or 2 back when playing with Mint 17 and wasn't impressed given that my 15 year old software pretty much had it whupped. When I finally come across something it can't do, then I may consider finding something new, probably the latest version of Corel PaintShopPro. Yes it's Windows only but I've been using it since PSP 1.0 came out as shareware in '91. Old dog I am, but new tricks I still learn if needed.

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Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece

Big_Boomer

HARD LANDING!

That passenger capsule hit HARD despite the parachutes. Even in acceleration couches that is gonna hurt!

As for building serious spacecraft, the best method is to go to the Moon. Low gravity, no atmosphere, plenty of resources, no NIMBYs. Build a base on the moon, harvest resources, build the catapult (cheaper, smaller, simpler), assemble spaceship parts in space and as a side business export materials to earth. Accelerating everything from earth is always gonna cost-a-packet regardless of the method used and the energy used is just going to heat up the earth faster.

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World's oldest person scoffs daily ration of bacon

Big_Boomer

So what?

If she was a 60 a day chain smoking alcoholic then they would never have even interviewed her because as everyone knows smokers and drinkers are Satan worshippers of the worst kind <sarcasm>. Bacon is good for you, alcohol is good for you, even nicoteen is good for you,... so long as you get the dosage right. If you choose to overdose on bacon, don't expect to live to 116. 16 would be difficult!

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Reg lecture asks what’s so scary about 1.5 tonnes of metal with a mind of its own?

Big_Boomer
Childcatcher

Mind?

Autonomous cars don't have minds you silly people. THEY JUST RUN PROGRAMS.

Can I have one with the code written by Bosch, not one written by Lucas or Magneti Marelli please?

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Silicon Valley now 'illegal' in Europe: Why Schrems vs Facebook is such a biggie

Big_Boomer

Worms

OOooohhh, this is a great big can of wiggly squirmy worms that has once again popped open :-) . Somehow or other a great many governments are going to have to thrash out an agreement on how to "harmonise" their Data Protection such that access to data is done in a controllable way. Only the daft believe that their data is in any way "Private" but there are degrees of privacy that can be agreed. This is just a step in this "harmonisation". There will be a great many more but for a change the US are starting to realise that they can't always have their own way. Now if we can just get them to drop their STUPID date structure......

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Big_Boomer

Said in Homer Simpsons voice

MMMmmmmmmmm, 3D tits!

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Apple files patent for long-rumoured iRing-type bling

Big_Boomer
Happy

Re: Errr...

Ahh but the iRing will have a screen and rounded corners.

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FATTIES have most SUCCESS with opposite SEX! Have some pies and SCORE

Big_Boomer
Happy

Red Dwarf

Rimmer = skinny. Lister = fat. Nuff said?

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Net neutrality: How to spot an arts graduate in a tech debate

Big_Boomer
Coat

Packet Pixie

Am I the only one who imagined a parcel delivery guy wearing a brown tutu (guess the brand?) whilst delivering your parcels?

Ok, it's just me,... I'll get my coat.

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'Marshmallow' picked as moniker for Android 6.0

Big_Boomer

Next

The next version after Marshmallow will probably be Nougat. Soft and sticky and full of nuts. However since they are now called Alphabet, they may just call it 7.0 or Roger. :-)

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Dead Steve Jobs' life and times are being turned into an OPERA

Big_Boomer

What?

Nein, nee, nej, niet, non, jo, ne, ez, ei, cha and **** no! I can't think of anything more boring,... unless they also want to make one about Bill Gates.

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So just WHO ARE the 15 per cent of Americans still not online?

Big_Boomer

PornBook

For the men, show them FaceBook and car/tractor/gun porn sites. For the women, show them FaceBook and clothes/shoes/handbag porn sites. Then watch their businesses and lives crumble.Better off to leave people who don't want it alone. I can see the attraction of being disconnected and I normally try to have at least 1 week of not being connected per year. It's not easy though. Just 20 years ago a 2 week holiday meant 2 weeks not connected. Now yer lucky if ya manage 2 hours. No wonder we are all stressed out and wired!!!

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Citizenfour director Laura Poitras sues US for years of border security harassment

Big_Boomer

The Land of the Free?

<LOL>....<ROTFLOL>.....<ROTFLMAO>

Oh stop,... it hurts!!!

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Dive deep into our liquid cooling chat. Just the thing for sticky summers

Big_Boomer

Overclocking depends entirely on the specific chip you are overclocking. In the past I have overclocked two supposedly identical CPUs and while one would take nearly 10% increase with good reliability, the second would only take 2%. At no point did the CPU core temps get anywhere near their cutoff temps. Sometimes on some chips I guess there are issues with bus interface speed mismatches or something of that ilk. Just because they came from the same batch is no guarantee that they are identical.

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Pluto Pic: Is it a DOG? Is it a HEART? Or is it ... is it ... BIGFOOT?

Big_Boomer

You are all on crack!

From the latest false colour image it is quite obvious that it is the ejaculate of the LORD that has bespattered Pluto and that Charon wears a toupé.

http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/Multimedia/Science-Photos/pics/nh-071315_falsecolorcomposite.jpg

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Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

Big_Boomer

Simples

Give the .FK to the Argentinians and move all the hosted domains to .fk.uk as suggested above. Who cares what domain name is used? As for the nationality of the islands, that was decided in 2013.

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Pluto plastered in what looks like 1970s orange wallpaper – proof

Big_Boomer

Beige ?

So now we just need to resurrect Heinlein so he can write the sequel to "Red Planet",... "Beige Pluto". Either that or get Kim Stanley Robinson to write "Beige Pluto" :-)

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Cortana threatens to blow away ESC key

Big_Boomer

Stoopidz

First MS decide that we no longer need the Start button that they had so assiduously trained us all to use since Windows 95/NT were introduced. Stoopidz! Now Toshiba want to add yet another key to bring up a talking filofax that hardly anybody wants. Stoopidz! It will go the way of the "Web" key and the "Email" key and so many others. The only really useful additional keys I have ever used are Volume +/- and Mute. I am also one of those people who removes the CAPS LOCK key as I hate it with a vengeance. Finally, does anybody know where I can get a FULL SIZED keyboard? Not these stupid shrunken pieces of crap designed for people with glove size Small and below. I take a 4XL glove and could use a keyboard about 25% wider than all the current ones so called full size ones.

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Intel adopts 40Gb per SECOND USB-C plug for Thunderbolt 3.0

Big_Boomer

Dead Duck

Thunderbolt is deceased as a dead duck pushing up Daisies. Who wants cables in this day and age when you can stream wirelessly from your handheld device.

Can I do it? No!

Have I seen it on some advert on TV? Yes.

Do I want it enough to spaff vast wads of cash? No!

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Google patents DEVIL TOY which will BRAINWASH KIDS

Big_Boomer

Creepy?

Only the USES it may be put to are potentially creepy. In Anne McCafferys SF novel "The Rowan" a child suffering from PTSD is given a "Pooky" toy to help monitor her mental state. It's the same argument as guns. Guns are not dangerous until you hand them to a human.

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Factory reset memory wipe FAILS in 500 MEELLION Android mobes

Big_Boomer

So THAT's how WeBuyAnyPhone/Mazuma make their money. They sell your hacked data to scum. :-) Before anyone starts 'avin' a go, it's a JOKE!! They'll sell it to someone who'll hack it and get the data. Glad I still have my old Droids. <LOL>

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LOHAN crash lands on CNN

Big_Boomer

Tacky

PARIS, LOHAN,...... if you are going for tacky women why not JORDAN. You could build in some Bulgarian Funbags and use all the plastic you want.

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'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

Big_Boomer

Oh goody

So now we need to remember 200 bloody passphrases instead of 200 passwords. Personally I am old and can't remember sh!t these days so I use KeePass to manage my passwords for me.

One other problem with passphrases is that it takes way longer to enter them. If it's once per day, no problem, but I enter between 100 and 300 passwords every day!

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Apple blacklists tech journo following explicit BENDY iPhone vid

Big_Boomer

Blasphemy I tell you,.... BLASPHEMY!!

When will these people ever learn that criticising the ONE TRUE GOD is going to get you put on the Naughty Step? Lets face it, ElReg has been there so long they have a mortgage on it. :D

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How the FLAC do I tell MP3s from lossless audio?

Big_Boomer

WHY?

Dave Gorman has it right here. We are constantly bombarded with the marketers need to buy the bestest, newest, coolest, highest-spec,... MOSTEST! Do you enjoy a TV program more now it's in HD? No. Sure you can see the actors pimples better and some nature shots are better but the enjoyment is no more or less. The same holds for music. Music is to be enjoyed for how it makes you feel. It's an emotional response to a musicians emotional outpouring. The fidelity of the recording is irrelevant if it still makes you feel the same when you hear the recording as it did when you heard it live. If you feel the need to spend £1000's on "real" HiFi then good for you, but don't tell me that I'm missing out because I am not. I am probably getting more out of the music than you are because I am interested in what the artist has to say, not how precisely it was reproduced. Yes, a certain level of fidelity is required but I have recordings from my cassette tape trading days that I still enjoy, even though in some cases I now have a way higher fidelity copy of the same recording.

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Ab phab: Apple is Britain's coolest brand YET AGAIN

Big_Boomer

Define Cool!

Define Hip! Correct, you can't. It's all just a marketing ploy to persuade people to pay more for something that can be had cheaper elsewhere.

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Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Big_Boomer

Flash

Worse still many feckless ****heads leave the flash switched on despite the fact that the maximum range of most flashes is 20 feet or so. Stupid morons ruin the show for the rest of us.

As for the lighters, nobody smokes any more,... hence no lighters. Besides, if you lit one at a gig undoubtedly some health and safety nazi would command you to extinguish it immediately under rule 47 section C sub-paragraph a14,......

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e-Borders fiasco: Brits stung for £224m after US IT giant sues UK govt

Big_Boomer

Clusterf**k

Terminate all Senior Management involved and all their assistants. Keep going down the hierarchy until all the wasted taxes have been recovered over the next 3 years. Now appoint new Senior Management, recruited from industry, pay them accordingly and place penalties on all future projects.

Ridley had it right in Aliens,.."I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

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SOULLESS machine-intelligence ROBOT cars to hit Blighty in 2015

Big_Boomer

Stupid headline

Are you getting your headlines from the Daily Mail now? These Driver-less cars can't possibly drive any worse than the large number of so called drivers currently using cars on our roads. With any luck all the shite drivers will buy a driver less vehicle and let a far better driver take them to work.

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BMW's ConnectedDrive falls over, bosses blame upgrade snafu

Big_Boomer

M25

I spend 3hrs a day on the M25. I have seen everything from middle lane hogs to someone changing clothes at 80Mph and every kind of stupidity in between. Every day it amazes me just how unbelievably stupid some people are.

Concerning the BMWs,... Bl**dy Minded W***ers says it all although these days many of them have bought AUDIs and MERCs. They still seem to have the mentality of "Me, me, me,...Nobody else matters". I'm sure that being able to control their car remotely makes their owners feel just like Pierce Brosnan. Personally I treat the time in the car as "Disconnected Time",... something that is becoming rare and increasingly precious these days. Mine is an old S-class diesel in the "slow lane" undertaking all the SalesTypes driving their career extensions.

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Games industry set for $5 BILLION haircut, warn beancounters

Big_Boomer

PC? Really?

I have a 5 year old games PC that cost me £1800 (i9550, 8Gb, 4870x2) in Jan 2009. I have upgraded the GFX card once (5870) and now rarely switch it on. Am I going to spend that kind of money on a new PC again?? Not likely. The games selection is poor and repetitive and when I use the PC I am being anti-social as the Mrs is bored downstairs having run out of TV Box sets worth watching. So, I stay on the sofa and play much worse GFX quality games on my tablet. These games are cheaper if not "free" and the quality of gameplay is not that much worse than that £45 3D Shooter I once spent 45hrs playing. Yes, I don't get 2500x1600 pixels of loveliness and the controller is a bit clunky but is it worth the £1000s spent just to play a few games? In the 5 years I have owned that PC, I have played GTA4 + addons, Fallout 3/NV + addons, Borderlands, Rage, Portal 1&2, and Batman Arkham City. GTA and Fallout were worth it and Portal was fun but the rest were dull, repetitive and never got finished. I think I will stick with my Note 10.1 and find some more puzzle games along with the occasional management/sim game and maybe a 1st person shooter if anyone ever produces one worth playing.

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