367 posts • joined Friday 18th May 2007 11:43 GMT
"You are taking a s**t in the Apple store bathroom. Would you like to buy some designer, overpriced toilet paper to wipe your butt with? Press 1 for yes, 2 for no, 3 for hell no, 4 for toilet paper with the MS logo, 5 for toilet paper with the Android logo, 6 for toilet paper with the Samsung logo, or 7 to have an Apple Store facilitator assist you with your issue."
The market will soon start to see that not bringing their infrastructure into the 21st century may kill their business. RIM, Nokia, Sony are all learning it right now. The banks are the most fuddy-duddy conservative of all businesses so they will be the last to get their poo in a pile, but how many of them will have to go under before they realise that doing nothing is no longer an option?
Not with a bang,....
That should do the job nicely. Not only that but you'd get a free quadcopter and whatever it was delivering too. Some of the net-guns could be pretty effective too.
So, we import extra energy just so that we can breed more. Jeez, Agent Smith was right.... we are a virus! Welcome to earth in 2100. Nobody cares about CO2 any more because the sheer heat produced by 12 Billion people consuming 10Kw each has melted all the ice and nobody can live within 20 degrees of the equator. CO2,.... that was such a 21st century problem.
Back when mail was sent on paper the Spam was limited to a few items once or twice a day. Now that mail is electronic and effectively free there is nothing to stop the Spammer from constantly blitzing all of us with it. Blocking certain IP ranges will cut some of your spam, but much of it comes from distributed botnets so good luck blocking that. Personally, I gave up on running a home mail server years ago as it is far too complicated, expensive and time consuming these days. Either that or else get a more capable server.
A******* On Line. Says it all really. I'm amazed that they are still in business given how poor their services were when I last used them in the late 90's. As for them killing WinAmp, that would be a great shame as along with many others have been using it to Whip the Llamas Ass for 15+ years now. I use the ShoutCast links most of the time but also have several playlists. I guess I'll just have to stay with the version I have now until I can no longer get it to run on Windows 2025. I am still using a copy of PaintShopProXE I bought back in 1997 and it still does what I need.
Every 3D TV I've tried has given me a headache and some made me nauseous too. Waste of time and money IMHO, as is all this higher and higher resolution kick that the manufacturers seem to be on. For most living rooms 1080p is more than adequate up to 50 inch screens. Yes, maybe 4k is better on larger screens but here in the United Kingdom of Tiny Houses you would need to sit in your garden to be able to see all of the screen. Me I'm quite happy with my 32" LED backlit LCD.
Not Another High Altitude Rocket? This project is starting to sound like a scaled down version of NASA now. By the time you launch it will weigh 450 tons and be capable of interstellar flight. Talk about mission creep! <LOL>
There is an off button on your phone. I use mine regularly. Sounds like many others need to learn to use theirs. As for flying, kids are more irritating than phone users. I once asked a woman if she would like to discipline her child (who had been kicking my seat-back for 20 minutes, despite being asked several times to desist) or if she would prefer *me* to discipline him for her. Needless to say the spineless slave to her offspring complained to the Steward and after a brief explanation, I got upgraded to 1st Class. :-) If someone is being really irritating on the phone, just put your headphones on and "LaLa" along with whatever you are listening to. if they get louder, LaLa louder. They soon either move or shut up.
Decent performance, well built, good price, now we just need all the "must have one" types to report on reliability and bugs after the first couple of months and I may even buy one. :-)
Waste of money
Until the culture changes from sales driven nothing will change. Techies and Engineers (I am both) will be underpaid w.r.t. the value they add to the company. At the moment the PERCEIVED value is all in Sales as they supposedly bring money in. The fact that without the Techies & Engineers they wouldn't have anything to sell is irrelevant. So, all the brainier kids are going into Sales & Banking rather than IT & Engineering. Way more money in it. Blagging and bullsh!tting are the skills you need in today's employment marketplace.
Can I have some of the drugs he is on please?
Whose F******G language is it? Get your own F******G language and stop abusing ours! ;-)
A Gay Hooker Gobbling Faggots is just a happy rugby player eating some disgusting greasy offal based meatballs. The F******G Americans call them Sweetmeats! How stupid is that?
We are all DOOOOOMED!
Yet another story that tells us to eat/drink/behave differently to increase our re-productivity. Why? Aren;t there enough bloody people on the planet already. What we need is MORE BACON, and beer and anything else that decreases sperm count. In some cases a pair of bricks would be most effective,..... ;-)
I tried to name my son "A very naughty boy" but they wouldn't let me, so I thought sod it and named him "Lord Messiah Logos Jehovahson" but we shorten it to "Bob" (pronounced the Rowan Atkinson way). if you are naming your kids after where they came from perhaps appropriate names would be Ejaculate and Ova?
Bob Howard would just have Pinky & the Brain side-load some nice macros into Word. You know the usual wards, vampire detector, etc.
Stross seems to hate lots of stuff. Only UNIX/LINUX seems to have escaped his vitriol.
I have a name for the stone
Lucy,..... as in Lucy from the Sky with Diamonds,...... I'll get my coat
Concentric circles of wildly clashing colours. You need pinks, black, yellow, dark blue, lime green and bright purple. No matter where it lands anyone who see it will feel sick and report it. :-)
Horses for courses
There are some highly capable women in IT but the vast majority are going to prefer to work in Marketing or HR. In my experience the heads of these depts are predominantly female, so surely that balances out the predominantly male IT and Sales dept heads. As for getting more women in IT,... ain't gonna happen and that is quite simply because it doesn't interest most women.
When are these political morons gonna start to realise that the reason men and women end up in different roles is BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT! We are not equal, not the same, in some ways we are equivalent, but we are most definitely different in soul, mind, and body.
BE AFRAID OF THE TERROR!
Let us make you more secure,... but you will feel less secure because if you didn't then you wouldn't believe in the TERROR.!
My "fear" ran out over a decade ago. Now whenever someone starts spouting enviro-drivel at me I counter them with facts and figures and I can normally should louder than them anyway. I would far rather live next to a Nuke Power Station than a coal/oil/gas/wood/rubbish burning one. They are much safer and cleaner despite what the greenists say. In fact, about the only true -ve with Nuke power is the high level waste but even that is a damned sight easier to deal with than CO2. As for the Wind/Tide/Wave/Solar hippies,... great ideas but too expensive, too unreliable and those damned wind turbines are ****ing UGLY!
iDIOTS Operating System
Have just been given an iPhone5 by my new employers. Asked for a Droid but was offered a Q10 or the iPhone. After several days I have to say it is a very simple interface to use and mostly pretty intuitive (iOS6). However, I would still prefer almost any flavour of Android due to iOS being much too locked down. I can't run a WiFi Analyser, I can't download files from Dropbox to the phone storage and it wants me to use something called iTunes which i don't want, will never want and refuse to use. I read my books in ePub, listen to music in MP3 and refuse to sign up to anything that uses any form of DRM. I can see that some people would prefer iOS but not for me. For my personal phone I think I may try one of the more recent flavours of Linux next, but more likely I'll end up with Android again.
I've bitten my cat before, but never enough to hurt or injure him. It's all part of our mad-half hour rough-housing. And before the macho dog types start whining on about how you can't really rough-house with a cat, my Burmese can and will make you bleed if you pi$$ him off.
How long the data is held.
I recently claimed for the PPI paid on a credit card account. I was told that the bank only had data back to 2006 so they would pay back as far as 2006, which they did. However, it sounds to me like they have ALL their data back to year dot so someone was lying to me. I had my CC and was paying PPI since the mid 1990s so there is at least 10 years worth to claim back there. At over £100 per month that's a LOT of money.
Land of the Free?
In the name of "Security" and the fight against "Terrorism" y'all have given away that freedom. Right now someone at the NSA is filing away the fact that you spoke to your mistress this afternoon to arrange a secret rendezvous. When they need to they will whip out that information and use it to force you to do their evil for them. Big Brother is IN DA HOUSE!
Big Bubba (US movie remake of a classic UK novel)
He's already here people. Big Bubba is soon gonna figure out how to read your mind so that he can protect you from your own thoughts. Prepare to become a Puppet of the State.
Bloody hilarious that is. How can a country be "friends" with another country? Friendship is a person to person relationship and cannot be applied to countries, companies or any other legal fiction. As for the spying, everyone is spying on everyone else although the degree of spying will vary according to how threatening the other country is. What Merkel, Holland et al are upset about is that their spies & technology isn't as good as those of the USA, and that they don't have the budget that the USA has. The sooner we find a way to abolish nations, flags and companies the better. No, I don't have any ideas either but there has to be a better way than this.
Who cares? You all elevate these people with well coordinated feet to god like status and then complain when others use them to milk you for every penny they can get. More fool you,... and the same goes for all aspects of the Cult of Celebrity. The only entertaining part of a football match is the adverts.
Fruity, Fruity Fruity Fruit Fruit,.....
Yeah, perhaps references to their output could be sharp as a Granny Smith or truly Golden Delicious, and only to be used when in the Buff with a Pink Lady.
My favourite apple in this context is the Enterprise Apple : A modern American late-season disease-resistant apple with a sharp flavor and good keeping qualities.
I've had the Note 10.1 since Xmas and when it came time to buy my better half a tablet i ended up buying her a Tab2 10.1. Why do some manufacturers release a tablet without GPS built in? All the other options I looked at were without GPS or had stupid power connectors. Yes the Note/Tab uses Samsungs own 30pin connector but at least it's solid. I considered the Nexus 10 but at the time there weren't any to be had. Google really missed the boat on that release. Next time Google, make sure you can ramp up production. So, we are now a mostly Samsung house due to great build quality, excellent performance, and none of the "locked down" s**t that Apple are so enamoured of. As for the Stylus, useful on occasion but it wasn't a deal maker or breaker for me.
Why do people get so excited about skyscrapers? Penis envy? They are a symptom of the human races ridiculous need to breed continuously until we cover every last square millimeter of the planet, at which point we will become cannibals and probably STILL keep on breeding. The solution is to reduce population, not to change the problem from a 2D to a 3D problem. That said it's not really a 3D problem as without pressurised buildings the upper limit is realistically about 2500 metres ASL. Planes are pressurised at 2500 metres and yes people can live at over 4000 metres but they can't go from sea level to 4000m in a couple of minutes and vice versa every day and not have major health problems. Perhaps as Genesis suggested we need to start selective breeding for shorter people so "They can fit twice as many in the same building site."
Make it with Gin.....
and call it "Sin". Looks and sounds bloody awful but for those who find eating a chore I'm sure it will be ideal. In fact it looks exactly like those diet shakes that various companies were flogging a few years back. If it tastes anything like them then eating your own sick is preferable,... and the after effects will turn you into a human hovercraft called Mr RumptyPumpty Bottyburp Fartypants. The icon is what happens when you walk past a naked flame.
It's an object
Not a collection of objects. A Podule is a "Pod-like Module". So you could have a smattering of podules or a blister of podules but a podule of poodles is also a possibility,... if the poodles in question were contained in the podule. Why am I even commenting on this? God I need a holiday!
YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIMILATED. YOUR ASSETS WILL BE STRIPPED AND WE WILL USE YOU IN ANY WAY WE SEE FIT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WASTEFUL, WE REUSE EVERY CHIP TO PRODUCE OUR AWESOME REVERSE POLISH NOTATION CALCULATORS WHICH WILL SOON RULE THE UNIVERSE.
Tax is tax
Tax has one purpose in life, to fund the country. The source of the tax is mostly irrelevant as one way or another it is always you and I who pay it. We either pay it directly (income tax, VAT, duties, etc) or indirectly via corporation tax and similar. Yes those who have less money think they should pay less tax as a percentage, and those who have more money don't want to pay tax so they hire accountants to work the ridiculously complex taxation system to their advantage. The upshot is that the poorest little or no tax, the richest pay little or no tax and the rest of us pay nearly all of it. Corporations qualify in the "richest" bracket. What is needed is a TOTAL revamp of the entire taxation system. Of course it's never going to happen as there are too many vested interests in keeping it exactly as it is, and they include the poorest, the richest, AND us gormless morons in between who seem to be proud that we are paying too much tax.
Yup, most mobile sites are crap. Unmitigated disasters that should end in those responsible being added to the unemployment roll. I have yet to find one single website where I prefer the mobile version to the desktop version. I use a Galaxy S2 and a Galaxy Note 10.1 and they both have problems with mobile site layouts, zooming, and functionality. Even the BBC desktop website works better than the Mobile version and they are probably the closest to a decent mobile site IMHO. Personally I would like Samsung to add the ability to permanently identify itself as a Linux Desktop machine. I don't want to have to hit "request desktop version" every time (and it is EVERY time) I get issued a mobile website. And as other have stated, when I get a "Would you like to download our app" I almost invariably close the site and go somewhere else. If I'd wanted your app I would have searched for it and installed it. In general then, give us the option to get the desktop experience only and stop touting your shite apps.
A whole season of one liners! And the hair!
A concrete or cement case for your iPhone 7 would shatter as soon as you dropped it. Concrete/cement is good in compression, not in tension nor in shock. Now if it were reinforced concrete or cement it would be tougher but you'd still be better off with plastics as they flex but snap back to their original shapes.
What particular chemical are they using for their "liquid metal" semi-conductors? Cement is made up of silcates, aluminates, aluminoferrite and gypsum in varying proportions depending on the properties needed.
Yup, just remove the keys you hate. If you bought an even half decent keyboard you can remove the keys that get on your nerves. I personally remove the CapsLock and left Windows key. If you don't know how to find out how to remove a key, then you really shouldn't be reading The Register. As for Win8, who cares. Maybe SP1 will fix it, maybe not. Either way I'm sticking with Win7. When will you people ever learn that you NEVER buy Microsoft (or any other software) until at least SP1 comes out.
Tube Station cleared after Hackers release nasty smells
Westminster Tube Station was cleared today after hackers broke into thousands of peoples iPhones and caused their ChatPerf to emit the cloying stench of failure.
You pays yer money,...
I currently prefer Android, even the messy Samsung/HTC/Sony crapped on versions. I've tried a Nokia WinPho and yes it's slick but really limiting in how to do things. The Apples are overpriced and too locked down for me and also suffer from an image problem (and no, there isn't an app for that!). Android I can customise to my hearts content, I can root and CM it, or I can just remove the dross and add the apps/widgets that I want. I can run WiFi Analysers and other stuff that Apple won't permit for whatever reason, and if I want to run something that isn't Google approved, then I flick a switch, install an APK file and then flick it back. (Yes I check the App security first). Most of my friends are Droid users and we don't laugh too loud at the iOS users,... unless they are out of earshot. I've yet to use BB10 but I have an open mind and will try anything once. When the next big thing comes along, I'll wait for the marketing hype to die and then choose the one that best suits me. I currently have an S2 (work phone), a rooted/CM'ed HTC Desire, and a Note 10.1".
Don't you mean Harry Harrisons "Make Room! Make Room!"? Soylent Green was a poor interpretation of the book, but then again aren't most movies? I prefer the ethos espoused in Motörheads "Eat the Rich".
Hole, money, pour
Nobody wants a flying car except a few rich gullible Americans who are too fat and lazy to get out of their air-conditioned car and hump their carcass the 20 feet to their PPL, Helicopter or business jet. Until somebody invents cheap gravity neutralisation we will just have to get along with normal cars. As for flying the plane/car you will still need a pilots license so not likely to get too many untrained pilots up there. 4D manoeuvres are those where you aim to be at a certain 3D point at a particular time. It's not easy at all. Most car drivers struggle to remember to KEEP LEFT on motorways, let alone keep track of traffic around them in 3 dimensions. Even if they do come up with aircars for the masses, they will HAVE to be computer controlled. No way in hell I would get in one otherwise.
I'm a MUTANT!
If I don't shave for 10 days then I have a beard. Not stubble, a measurable, grab-able beard. Am I a even more of a Mutant than the rest of you? As I get older it gets easier and easier to not shave for 1 day mid week as the grey stubble just doesn't show that well. No I'm not a beardy but one day I may well be.
How on earth can anybody predict future phone purchases up to 2017? Four years ago Android was crap, Apple was stupidly expensive and everybody owned Blackberrys & Nokias. In 4 years time I predict that we the market will be a 4 way split between iOS9, Android 8, Windows 11 and Phonety 2.3. Phonety will be the new kid on the block that can predict your desires by reading your body language and will be the new "Big Thing" that everyone has to have. Apple will be for old, sales & marketing people. Android for the middle aged, middle management & unimaginative. Windows for the gullible,.... and Phonety will be for for techies and anyone under 30. Yes, it probably won't be called Phonety, more likely to be "Dazzle" or "Bling" if the marketing types get hold of it.
Y buy one? I've always hated console controllers. Y design a controller that uses the LEAST dexterous of our five digits as the primary controller? It's nearly as bad as the controls in a car. Motorcycles have a much more sensible layout. I'd far rather have a keyboard and mouse any day of the week. As for Kinect,... watching my neighbour dance, twitch and fall over is moderately entertaining, until he notices me laughing at his epileptic spasms and closes the curtains.
The only reason any banks & retailers ever considered NFC Bonking is that they hoped it would reduce their cash handling costs and/or credit card costs. As it turns out it will cost about the same, so most of them really cannot be bothered with YET ANOTHER payment method. So, we will almost certainly stay with cash and card. Most of them were relieved when cheques were finally phased out last year.
As for the north American credit card security panics, that is because they have yet to implement Chip&Pin (EMV) so all in person transactions require a signature (like that ever prevented fraud) and all remote transactions require the CVC. As a consequence card fraud over there is rife and increasing but they are starting to implement EMV this year. Canada has less than half the Card Fraud rate of the USA or Mexico but it is still double that of the western EU countries.
- It's true, the START MENU is coming BACK to Windows 8, hiss sources
- Pic NASA Mars tank Curiosity rolls on old WET PATCH, sighs, sniffs for life signs
- How UK air traffic control system was caught asleep on the job
- Google embiggens its fat vid pipe Chromecast with TEN new supported apps
- Microsoft: Don't listen to 4chan ... especially the bit about bricking Xbox Ones