* Posts by Evoflash

73 posts • joined 20 Nov 2009

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Confession: I was a teenage computer virus writer

Evoflash

I once made a Geocities Flash website that opened itself in five new windows.

I'd send the link to people on MSN Messenger that were annoying me.

That was the pinnacle for me.

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Star Wars Battlefront: Is this the shooter you’re looking for?

Evoflash

As a late-thirties guy:

"At times it's best to simply stop and stare."

Perfectly captures my experience with beta. Hell I didn't even need to touch the mouse or keyboard. Rather I could sit sobbing with joy.

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VW's Audi suspends two engineers in air pollution cheatware probe

Evoflash

"Or it was a quick hack to get the job done & meet an alpha or beta release deadline - and after that manglement never prioritised a fix"

No, no, no. This isn't a minor fix. This software implementation means lots of dollars not spent on hardware to clean up emissions. It's a very big deal, and a huge competitive advantage over other car companies. Savings in cost and improved in-field fuel economy mean a double-dipper helping of good news. Think of all of those conversations between car owners about fuel consumption, and the smug VW owner who seemed to get "a bit more" out of a tank than anyone else, quickly followed by the classic "well that's German engineering for you".

No, this isn't a minor hack to get through a gateway. This is more like the comment "This kind of thing makes me so mad" says. It's a big deal.

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Evoflash

Re: Well....

@404 love it. I often get to thinking about people on Friday afternoons at 4:30pm - they just want to go home and have a few beers or maybe whatever else they do....but work? pfffft...

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Evoflash

Re: Well....

The gains made by such a defeat device are too big to go unknown or unnoticed by chiefs and technical leaders. Opportunity to avoid (high) cost of urea after-treatment is massive.

My personal opinion is that a series of chiefs managed to convince themselves in a meeting room that what they were doing was in the strictest terms not disagreeable.

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TalkTalk incident management: A timeline

Evoflash

Excellent journalism. Well done.

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

Don't be stupid dear, you'd never fit something like this in a pocket.

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Evoflash

Hmm, that cheap Chinese dashcam was cheap for a reason...

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Evoflash

Head of Talk Talk massively impressed by advanced camera security system.

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Evoflash

Back in my day son, I wore a tie to take a gym selfie.

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El Reg celebrates Back to the Future Day

Evoflash

If I just cross my eyes a bit, your tie becomes fully 3D!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

Latest reviews @ Reg are always well balanced.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

OMG with these on it actually does BITE the hand that feeds IT!

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Evoflash

Damn this internet banking in 3D!

I'm trying to log on, but I suspect I'm barking up the wrong tree so I'll leaf it there and visit the branch. That way I can root out the truth about how much these things cost us.

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Evoflash

Take them off and it's like Aero theme is back!

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Evoflash

But will it give me a full head of hair?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

"OH YEAH? I'LL SHOW YOU A GOD-DAMNED LIGHTNING CABLE!"

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Evoflash

Jesus: "6TB you say? If only I could think of an amusing caption"

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Evoflash

Skylake eh? Well, this used be a lake...and there's the sky...bit of magic....

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Evoflash

Second Coming to be screened live on Twitch.

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Evoflash

Windows 10 Commandments Edition - Best on Tablets (stone)

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Evoflash

"One more minute Dad, I'm playing Populous - it's really good."

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Evoflash

"Mass storage? does it keep the sermon too?"

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

The FAT32 model will probably need to be rebranded.

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Evoflash

Intel Thrusts their Miammary Vice into Top Gear.

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Evoflash

Madonna keen on AMD Bulldozer version of Intel's hit SmartBra

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Evoflash

Nice to have Intel in my face about this.

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Evoflash

Intel: Kings of the Silicon Valleys.

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Evoflash

Yorkshire people in shock as droves of women are goin' t'ell for smartbra usage.

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Evoflash

"We tried to write a Linux driver, but Linux users have no idea what a bra is"

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Evoflash

"...correct, in the presence of a Bluetooth Windows Mobile device the bra automatically locks to protect the owner from potentially making a bad choice of partner."

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

I.T. get mighty bitey when almighty blighty sadder adder bangs fangs on clean screen!

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Evoflash

There once was a snake called Dwight,

Who found papers so very trite,

But then he found Reg,

Was so cutting edge,

Each article felt his bite.

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Evoflash

Nokia Fanboi

Yeah, yeah, yeah very funny. You know what I really meant when I said I wanted "Snake" on my laptop.

Fang you very much.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Evoflash

A Meercat Werewolf Is Logged On.

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

Evoflash

Failed at final hurdle.

Sadly, her final test for Iraqi citizenship failed the "Iraq:no phobia" requirement.

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Evoflash

Self-Defence

"..if I could...just..turn....my head...a little more....I could bite..back.."

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Mathematician: SUNSPOT DROUGHT will mean mini ICE AGE from 2030

Evoflash

Re: This good be good news or bad news.....

Genius. It's not even compromise. Superb.

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It's FREE WINDOWS 10 time: 29 July is D-Day, yells Microsoft

Evoflash

Re: Loving the free upgrade

How do you sleep when it costs you so much?

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Evoflash

Loving the free upgrade

Really pleased I can upgrade from 7 to 10 for free. Delighted in fact. Might even go for it straight away.

I'm wild like that.

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Scientists skeptical of Lockheed Martin's truck-sized FUSION reactor breakthrough boast

Evoflash

Until it makes 1.21GW....

I'm not interested.

Regards,

Scott Great

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Bright lights, affordable motor: Ford puts LED headlights onto Mondeo

Evoflash
Happy

..call me lazy...

I like the idea of never having to change a light bulb.

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Wii got it WRONG: How do you solve a problem like Nintendo?

Evoflash

Re: Wii failed

How can anyone forget that moment in Mario Kart 64 when you fly through 3D space for miles over a river.

I swear that's where my Vertigo started...

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Brit boffin tests LETTUCE as wire for future computers

Evoflash
Coat

Ahh the student years...

...they were my salad days...

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Boeing bent over for new probe as 787 batteries vent fluid, start to MELT

Evoflash
Coat

Yes, I'm leaving now.

This is why they don't normally let passengers vent fluid while on the runway.

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Samsung Nexus S beats Galaxy S III – at detecting GAMMA RAYS

Evoflash
Coat

All too late

for Bruce Banner.

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Microsoft to RIP THE SHEETS off Windows 9 aka 'Threshold' in April

Evoflash

Start Button

..represents so much. Way more than just an addition to an operating system (zzz please!)

It represented my journey from cave dweller to the hunched keyboard puncher I am now today.

I was 18 when Win95 came out. I saw it in shop windows, the start button brightly waiting for me to press it, and eventually I got to do just that on a PC belonging to a friends Dad.

I couldn't WAIT to have my own Start button.

When I got my own in 1998, I felt I had truly come of age, and also touched the future that Maggie Philbin had endlessly told me about.

XP came along and something was afoot...it had defaulted to a crayon colouring of Start button. Easily remedied mind, but a disconcerting change with age nonetheless - like ear or nose hair.

Win 7 went round. I was again irritated. JUST STOP. Leave the button alone.

Then Win 8. OMG. They only went and did it didn't they. I knew it. OMG Why me. No start button? I'm adrift. My link back to the day when I finally "made it" was gone. I hadn't even been asked. It was like when my parents decided to wallpaper my room, and didn't tell me there would be flowers on my wall. I was back to being 8 years old. No way could I take to that. I hated being 8.

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'Leaked' iPhone 6 pics will make cool fanbois WEEP - it's a PHABLET

Evoflash
Coat

Re: highly dubious

The pasted article relies on Apple having consistent design direction to disprove the validity of the photo.

I don't think they have consistent design direction.

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Justice Ministry to spaff £70k finding out how prisoners like to use ILLEGAL mobes

Evoflash

I watch too many silly fims...

Daily EMP in the prison.

Means the staff have to work on paper :-)

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