* Posts by Mike Hunt 1

31 posts • joined 13 Nov 2009

Virgin Media spanked for 'we've already cabled up your house' mailshot

Mike Hunt 1
FAIL

Lies, all lies.....(and they're not even square)

My daughter recently applied for VM 9 month student broadband at her student residence. Her application was based on 1. Flyers given out in the University, 2. Advertising pamphlets pushed through her letterbox. 3. VM's own website saying that her address was eligible. She spoke to "sales" who gave her an order number and even an installation date. Then nothing.......she then got an email saying that they couldn't install at the address, but did not give any reason. She again spoke to VM sales who told her that her order was good, and the proposed installation was going ahead. I eventually spoke to a "friend of a friend" who works in VM's network management department. He looked into the order and came back with the response that due to this being a "Student Hot-spot" they were already over-subscribed in that area, which was causing problems for their regular non-student customers. Due to this over-subscription they were not taking on any new customers in that area, despite the bombardment of the university and surrounding areas by the sales teams. My daughter then rang up the sales team - they initially denied that the over-subscription was a problem - but could not give another reason for them not going ahead with the installation. It took some persistent questioning from my daughter to eventually get the sales person to admit that VM had no intention of allowing further installations in her area. Ironically, four weeks later, another pamphlet was pushed through her letter box, saying that VM was now doing installations in her area, and to ring the sales bloke on a mobile number!! Sadly she has already signed a contract with O2 so tough luck VM.

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Glider pilot 'swallowed camera memory' say plunge tragedy cops

Mike Hunt 1
Facepalm

Any volunteers?

Anybody want to volunteer to examine that memory card? Don't all rush at once.

Given that once "nature has taken it course" they "capture" the memory card, who wants to, if you excuse the pun, stick into their card reader to get the data from it?

If this was CSI, they would have an iPod app that could forensically image the card remotely whilst still in the blokes bowels. But this is the real world - and it's going to be a shit job !!

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UK cops set up new £30m bases to nail cybercrooks

Mike Hunt 1
Holmes

Back in the day....

Back in 2001/2002 the National Hi-Tech Crime Unit was set up with much flag waving and trumpet blowing. As part of their remit they funded posts in the then miniscule "Computer Crime" units of most of the UK police forces. These posts were funded on a rolling yearly basis, with the hope that the forces would then absorb these posts and take over the funding.......eventually the NHTCU was dissolved into the newly formed Serious and Organised Crime Agency.....then suddenly the wheel is re-invented and PeCU is then formed in another flag waving and trumpet blowing ceremony, and suddenly they are throwing public money all over the place like confetti. Hope they don't have the same really tight remits that NHTCU and SOCA had, which meant most jobs were, to quote Police parlance, "hutched" down to local force Hi-Tech / eCrime Units to sort out.....the saying "what goes around, comes around" certainly fits here....

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Humans, insects set to OBLITERATE frankincense supply

Mike Hunt 1
Coat

Problem / Solution?

Now that we know that Frankincense is "endangered" by overfarming / bad farming / laziness then surely we, as a country need to send millions of pounds of tax payers money to these countries to let them buy guns, sorry, meant to type, save this precious natural resource.

We will soon start to see these bushes where the frankincense grows turning up in the UK, demanding asylum - you look, back in history, we didn't do anything to save the Spagetti tree, and now they are all gone.

I am sure if it was the Gold bit of the three wise men / christmas story then the UK government would be more concerned - but hey, it's ok, Gordon gave all our gold away, so no worries there........

Got to go now, nurses on way with sedatives........

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iPhone users get iJustHadAShag bedpost-notch boast app

Mike Hunt 1
Facepalm

Re: How the hell did that get past Apple's censors?!

Easy!

There are words in the app that they just don't comprehend. They are:

I + just + had + a + shag

None of them understand it when used in this context.

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Mike Hunt 1
Paris Hilton

Fornication foibles

The question on Gizmodo asks "Can somebody tell me what kind of helpless imbecile wants to broadcast where he or she just have had sex, down to the GPS location and sexual position?" is surely answered thus:

An iPhone owner

Nuff said!

(Paris: Well there is one download guaranteed)

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1

Current Comet owner hit with half year loss

Mike Hunt 1
Meh

Just a thought....

Dear owners of Comet,

If your current slew of adverts is right then your shop staff seem to be spending most of their time making giant Christmas trees out of ice cubes. Now, whilst this might be a terrific team and morale building exercise, it isn't doing much for business - there never seems to be any customers in the advert stores - just staff cocking about.

Signed

Mr A Customer

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Ofcom denies privacy to drunk-dial-and-drive trucker

Mike Hunt 1
Pint

So he's named and shamed

So Mr Colin Hawkley is upset at being filmed whilst driving and under the influence - tough. Maybe Mr Colin Hawkley ought to think himself lucky that they weren't cutting his alcohol filled corpse out of his crashed lorry. I personally have no sympathy for Mr Colin Hawkley, who thinks that he might get another job driving with his convictions.

Do you think I got away with mentioning Mr Colin Hawkley name?

Just wondering?

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Anti-gay bus baron rages at being stuffed in Google closet

Mike Hunt 1

Forgive me....

I have rather vainly just Googled myself, and I didn't appear on the first (or subsequent) pages - just a lot of references to a poor taste joke around my name. Does anybody know how I get my millions from Google for this outrage? Who else can I sue? My parents for a start for calling me Mike, my father for having the surname Hunt, in fact, his entire lineage are going to cop for some legal fisting !

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Brit censor stamps on The Human Centipede

Mike Hunt 1
Coat

Just what it needed.....

all this attention has given this sort of rubbish just what it needed.....a welcome leg up, leg up, leg up <repeat>

Mines the one with multiple sleeves (on each side) !!!!

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Tech 'tecs quiz Yorkshireman in Facebook hack probe

Mike Hunt 1
Black Helicopters

National Hi-Tech Crime Unit?

Doesn't exist any more!!

Did this man check the credentials of these people?

Just wondering !

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BT cheerfully admits snooping on customer LANs

Mike Hunt 1
Black Helicopters

BT - They're watching.....

We ditched our BT Hub as, despite having the wireless switched off, was still offering itself to the ether for BT wireless customers.

Then, to just remind us of their omni-presence, they injected a message into our system to appear on any browsers, reminding us that there was an outstanding bill that needed paying on our account.

Thanks BT - anything else you need to tell us?

If you can read this then it got through their filtering / censorship systems !!

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Call of Duty DDoS attack police arrest teen

Mike Hunt 1
Coat

@ blackworx

It is, and don't call me Shirley (homage to Leslie Nielsen)

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Wikileaks: Berlusconi useless, Pope Catholic

Mike Hunt 1
WTF?

Let me get this right.....

a bunch of Arab countries that rely on the USA for all their aid / support / military equipment want the US to bomb Iran. Bit of a win-win for them really. They get their despot neighbour eliminated at no expense to themselves.......and we call them 3rd world countries! They have got the good old US of A running round like a big soft dog chasing a stick.

I did notice that Jordan wanted Iran bombing too.......bit much - just because she couldn't visit good 'ol Peter Andre in hospital!

/sound of coat being fetched

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Plastic plod used police database to find dates

Mike Hunt 1
FAIL

Never a copper

When will people get it into their heads PCSO's are not Police Officers - they are the former governments answer to fighting crime - a bunch of Police Wannabees who usually didn't (and will probably never have) the correct abilities to be a regular officer. Mind you, as she has resigned it will save Northumbria sacking her, and the rest of her PCSO colleagues when the axe swings under the spending review !

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PARIS joins the 17-mile-high club

Mike Hunt 1
Happy

Red Arrows

Nice pics of PARIS with the Red Arrows as well (and ones you can publish too !!)

;-)

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PARIS nursing mother of all hangovers

Mike Hunt 1
Paris Hilton

Paris Landing

Well done - from what I have seen previously of photos of PARIS the I am suprised it got to the floor and didn't impale itself on the nearest upward pointing object !!!

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UK border police seize £500k from Nigerians' hand luggage

Mike Hunt 1

This should cover the legaleese......

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2002/29/contents

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Thieves drive off with 10,800 Western Digital drives

Mike Hunt 1
FAIL

Lucky old thieves.......

Could have been worse! Could have stolen some decent quality Hard Drives. 10800 drives minus all the faulty ones = about 3MB of capacity. Useful as paperweights though !

You would almost get the feeling that I don't like Western Digital wouldn't you

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Post Office complaints: Write to M.BARRASS

Mike Hunt 1
WTF?

What's in a name?

For some reason people always snigger when I sign for stuff - what's that all about?

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New 'iPhoD' can 'adjust the speed of light by turning a knob'

Mike Hunt 1
Happy

Re: iPhod

Surely you mean Cue Apple lawsuit.....!

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Business guru tries to silence bloggers over 'misleading' mailshot

Mike Hunt 1
Happy

No such thing as bad publicity

To paraphrase Monty Pythons Life of Brian - "I am Chris Cardell, and so is my mother". This is just another way of getting your "copyrighted" name mentioned, and as the man said, "There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about". It's a straight rip from one of his videos on the Chris Cardell (there I've said it again!) - "Cause and Effect", where he has caused these letters to be sent out, and the effect is that he is now getting a mention on the internet again. Bravo.

Let the C & D notices commence.....

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Scotland Yard mulls Google Wi-Fi slurp

Mike Hunt 1
WTF?

Forgive me but......

Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act........

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regulation_of_Investigatory_Powers_Act_2000

Don't think it applies to Google - unless they really have taken over control......

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Feds seize $143m worth of bogus networking gear

Mike Hunt 1
Megaphone

Bogus kit???

Sometimes the bogus kit is actually made in the same factories as the genuine stuff. What happens is that the customer orders the manufacturer to make 10000 units of a particular box, somewhere within the manufacturing process the number is raised to 10500, and these extra 500 are siphoned off out a back door, where they get fake labels and are sold at a cheaper price on the "black market" - so what you are really getting is a genuine box, its just the labels that are fake !!!

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Icelandic ash cloud to keep UK skies closed 'til Saturday

Mike Hunt 1
FAIL

On the plus side (again)

At least with this going on, there aren't all these planes spewing hot gases into the atmostphere, causing global warming........no, just a fecking big volcano........quick you greenhouse gas protester types, get up to Iceland (by plane if you like) and go picket the volcano......Just wondering now how the government are going to tax me for this one?

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France leapfrogs past Australia in Big Brother stakes

Mike Hunt 1
FAIL

French Cyber Defence.....

Hope its better than the last attempt they made at securing their country from invasion - I think they called it "The Maginot Line" - seem to recall the people it was supposed to stop went right around it !!

Don't worry France - if you get in the sh*t (again) we (by we I mean the Americans of course) will rescue you (again).

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Please shut up about the Mull of Kintyre Chinook crash

Mike Hunt 1
Black Helicopters

Whatever next ?

As the article quite rightly puts it - its about time to move on. Whilst the loss of the crew and passengers of this helicopter is sad, the questions must be asked - why were they flying at low level given the conditions and why were all of these "crucial" passengers travelling together? Where do we go next - are we going to dig up (not literally) the Munich air crash to see if we can find somebody else to blame / avert blame from? The information regarding the supposed problems with the engine management unit dates back over 15 years, and was published at the time of the enquiry. Come on people - move along - there is nothing to conspire about....let the dead rest in peace, and thank god that these helicopters are still flying for our troops out in Afganistan.

(Black Helicopter cos the picture seemed appropriate for the story !!)

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Today is not New Year's Eve - or the end of the decade

Mike Hunt 1
WTF?

So its supposed to be 2015.....

That means I retired three years ago and therefore have been working for these muppets for the fun of it since then. Dammit!!! Also it means that the Prince (or whatever his name is these days) was off by a few years, and come to think of it, so was the Millenium bug !!

Happy New Year (or not) as the case may be ;-)

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My hospital HAL - Google man moots syringe that says no

Mike Hunt 1
Big Brother

Trust the Government.....

Of course we would always be willing to give every piece of our medical data to the government, they are so trustworthy when it comes to matters of data and information security. As this data is for your "medical needs" it is of course a back door way of getting the population database they have been craving for years to have, and of course, under the guise of "Detecting and Preventing Terrorism etc etc" they will mine and harvest that data to their hearts content, after all, you wouldn't want your "medical records" to be out of date or worse still, wrong.

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Sony Ericsson suspends Satio sales

Mike Hunt 1
FAIL

What a suprise (NOT)

The recent offerings from SE have been plagued with software "issues". My 995 reboots itself several times a day, and when you speak to other SE owners, with different models, they report similar issues. I am looking forward to the day when I can ditch this phone and get a different make / model. I will not be looking for a SE phone, that is for certain. Hopefully this latest failure will make SE do something about the shocking software.

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US Navy 'PANDA' tech to sniff out 'deviant' sailors

Mike Hunt 1
WTF?

Re Oldie but goodie #

amanfromMars 1 - Me thinks you are missing the point !!

<strokes white cat whilst placing little finger next to corner of mouth>

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