* Posts by ravenviz

1007 posts • joined 6 Nov 2009

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Visa: One million bonks a month for Europeans from next year

ravenviz
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Joke

Re: Authorised Payments

Edmund: Well, yes, I do rather laugh in the face of Tfl, bonking the reader of barrier

Sir Walter: You'd never dare use pay-by-bonk. Why, 'round Euston way, the thieves steal so much all your money's gone!

Edmund: So, some sort of passcode is probably in order.

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Google offers 'INFINITY MILLION DOLLARS' for bugs in Chrome

ravenviz
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No, you're thinking of a googolplex!

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COSMIC FATTY from the DAWN of TIME simply can't exist – astroboffins

ravenviz
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Angel

Re: Checks Bible, looks up Genesis...

The sun was already there in Day 3 as the beta release of night time.

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ravenviz
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Coat

Re: Checks Bible, looks up Genesis...

Mentions holes though: Genesis 2.2:

"God blessed the seventh day and made it holy"

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ravenviz
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Devil

Unfeasibly large

It's Buster Gonad's missing third testicle.

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Spotty Ceres baffles boffins with bright patches

ravenviz
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Boffin

Strange, but true

"stranger than first thought" seems to have applied to many solar system objects so far, maybe we should expect celestial bodies are going to be strange anyway and apply a "strangeness factor" plus or minus from "strange". It could be called the Berman Scale.

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iHump? Apple buys Camel Audio – report

ravenviz
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Gimp

All your Cubase plugins are belong to us.

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Marconi: The West of England's very own Italian wireless pioneer

ravenviz
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Boffin

Re: *ahem*

Marconi also goes largely uncredited with creating the first black box in or prior to 1896 (see figure).

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HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

ravenviz
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Boffin

Re: So why does he believe....

A local supernova or some other galactic cataclysm could wipe out life on multiple planets in one fell swoop. But I suppose it all comes down to risk assessment.

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Boffins now one step closer to male birth control pill

ravenviz
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Re: Animal testing

...and foxes!

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Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

ravenviz
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Paris Hilton

Re:

And *really wild things*!

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Watch a hot, speeding space alien explode all over Earth's Beaver

ravenviz
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Baaa-ang

I thought it said a sheepish trajectory!

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How many Watches will Apple flog? 20, er, 18.5, no, five, wait, 50 million!

ravenviz
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Trollface

iWon't

"low-end rubber version of Watch will cost $350"

Great! I'll have nine^H^H^H^H none.

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(Re)touching on a quarter-century of Adobe Photoshop

ravenviz
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Devil

Re: Paint Shop Pro

I still use Paint Shop Pro 7 (Evaluation copy), it says:

"You are on day 16486 of your 30 day trial period"

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Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

ravenviz
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WTF?

Re: ::shudder:: Do not want! At all! This is the definition of creepy.

Barbie-aged child

Article: Barbie has been around about for 59 years

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ATTENTION SETI scientists! It's TOO LATE: ALIENS will ATTACK in 2049

ravenviz
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Headmaster

Re: What about the 1974 Arecibo message?

So even the aliens think Pluto is a planet!

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ravenviz
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Re: The day the World changed

+1 for effort!

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ravenviz
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Thumb Up

Re: What about the 1974 Arecibo message?

Nice reminder, it is very interesting how we attempt to 'communicate' with aliens in ways that we think would be universally readable. The sad fact is that we will probably never find out.

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El Reg's plucky Playmonaut eyes suborbital rocket shot

ravenviz
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Windows

BURPG

burp

verb UK /bɜːp/ US /bɝːp/

› [I] to allow air from the stomach to come out through the mouth in a noisy way

Hm, OK.

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Now Samsung's spying smart TVs insert ADS in YOUR OWN movies

ravenviz
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Coat

Re: @Silons: @Abelsoul: Sony : 1 - Samsung : 0

I have a new invention: Cupboard 1.0

Although admittedly some of the proposed features have been shelved.

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ravenviz
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Mushroom

Re: Don't think it's a mistake, myself...

You think you have it bad in UK, adverts in US are distracting as Hell, ever wondered why TV shows seem to start for a few minutes and then the opening credits come up? In US that's the gap for an ad break. And wonder what all those fade-to-blacks are? More ad breaks. And more often than not, the ads they do show are repeated in each break, annoying as Hell. IMO it makes US TV more or less unwatchable, how are you supposed to 'get into' a show with all the stops and restarts?!!!!11

Regards,

Annoyed of Surrey (now only watching HBO when in America)

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ravenviz
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WTF?

Re: Don't think it's a mistake, myself...

Why don't they have a telly where you can opt out of all adverts.

The End.

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Ex-squeeze me? Baking soda? Boffins claim it safely sucks CO2 out of the air

ravenviz
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Devil

Re: Carbonates are how the Earth deals with excess CO2

There's a big hole. That'll probably do.

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This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

ravenviz
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Verbatim? Shudder...

I've got a 3.5" Verbatim floppy on my desk, it works just fine (as a coaster)!

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ravenviz
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Joke

Re: Reminds me

Language evolves quickly:

1980: tidy = really good

1990: bad = really good

2000: sick = really good

2100: MORTAL DANGER. DO NOT DIG HERE = really good

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ravenviz
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Headmaster

Looks like they did have the box after all, obviously the instructions were intelligible.

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ravenviz
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Boffin

Well they managed to read this one, but it did take nearly 100 years to figure it out (I suspect this was because they didn't have the box).

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UK air traffic mega cockup: BOTH server channels failed - report

ravenviz
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Happy

The cockup resulted in 120 flights being cancelled and 500 flights being delayed for 45 minutes, and affected 10,000 passengers in total.

No-one died.

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At the third beep, the Atomic Clock will be 60 ... imprecisely

ravenviz
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Trollface

All that technology and [DAB] it sounds awful.

There are other stations besides Magic.

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GRUNTY CHIMPS 'blend in among locals' after moving to Scotland

ravenviz
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Coat

The guest chimps must have been right out of kilter when they arrived!

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Plane crash blamed on in-flight SELFIES

ravenviz
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Re: Entertaining ourselves to death.

£60 fine and 3 points on my license made me stop such activities!

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ravenviz
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Facepalm

Re: Death by misadventure then.

Maybe a Darwin Award award is due?

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Japan's death threat hacker collared ... BY A CAT

ravenviz
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Coat

Re: No one escapes the long arm of the paw.

The very idea is la-furball...

(I'm here all week)

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ravenviz
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Devil

Damned Spot!

Katayama finally outed as the anti-Hong Kong Phooey (and became framed by his cat).

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ALIENS are surely AMONG US: Average star has TWO potentially Earth-like worlds

ravenviz
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Boffin

Re: Space is big, signals are weak

What if their evolution means they communicate with high power radio signals, much like whales use infra-sound to be heard over vast distances?

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ravenviz
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Devil

Goldilocks?

The old woman (not little girl) in an early variation of the story was described at various points in the story as impudent, bad, foul-mouthed, ugly, dirty and a vagrant deserving of a stint in the House of Correction and later is impaled on the steeple of St Paul's Cathedral!

So that's what happens when you live in the Goldilocks Zone!

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Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

ravenviz
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Mr / Mrs / Miss / Ms / Dr / Sir / Dame

+1 for using the word frottage!

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A docket, tweet and selfie can reveal your identity, boffins find

ravenviz
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Re: 90 percent accuracy

Or Harry Buttle.

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Dark Fibre: Reg man plunges into London's sewers to see how pipe is laid

ravenviz
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Windows

Re: Gives new meaning...

I wonder if they found any dead otters or Meatloaf's daughter?

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Doomsday Clock says 3 MINUTES to MIDNIGHT. Again

ravenviz
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Devil

Re: In situations like this, I find it useful

Spot Goes to the Fallout Shelter?

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

ravenviz
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Coffee/keyboard

Why has no-one mentioned Abraxas, it's appalling?

But then I suppose it does get 0.2 points higher than Battlefield Earth's score of 2.4 at imdb.com!

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

ravenviz
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WTF?

Re: "ElReg is INTERNATIONAL."

I believe Noah Webster sought English spelling reform given an opportunity to do so at the dawn of a new culture. By way of analogy, pints and litres can be used to measure the same quantity, and in a world where both are used, bothering to understand the difference and what the conversion is allows you to understand how much beer you want to buy instead of pontificating about how it's measured.

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ravenviz
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Boffin

Re: LERN TWO PHUQUEING SPEL!! LOL @AC

And I thought we were talking about "fertili"&CHAR(113+(2*(Country$="UK"))+(9*(Country$="USA")))&"er"!

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ravenviz
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Devil

Re: is cannibalism the answer?

You obviously have not been there on a Saturday night!

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ravenviz
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Trollface

Re: Even if true, addressing individual symptoms is not going to work.

What if I don't want to live in France?

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Missing defective BEAGLE FOUND ON MARS! Amazing claim

ravenviz
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Boffin

Re: Cute design but risky

The image in the video seems to show the 'lid' and a single petal had deployed. You do wonder if the vibrations of the landing could have distorted the apparatus somehow to create a simple mechanical obstruction to full deployment.

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'Nauts end panic by switching computer off and on again

ravenviz
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Boffin

Re: Noses?

A person exposed to harmful amounts of ammonia will notice it immediately because of the strong, unpleasant smell; strong taste; and likely irritation to the skin, eyes, nose and throat.

Best avoided on the ISS I would have thought!

New York Department of Health

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'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely

ravenviz
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Terminator

I hope it's better than Siri who which kept on telling me about a 'new rose' every time I asked for Euro exchange rates!

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TERROR in SPACE: ISS 'NAUTS FLEE 'gas leak' to Russian module

ravenviz
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Trollface

Re: You can't get to there from here

They'd have to do a bit of EVA. Like in films.

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