* Posts by Arctic fox

2560 posts • joined 6 Nov 2009

My devil-possessed smartphone tried to emasculate me

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Childcatcher

@I ain't Spartacus RE: "It's trying to bite them off..........

.......Once achieved it can then upload them to the internet."

You do realise that the image of Mr Dabbs' testicles being removed al dente and then uploaded to the internet is going to haunt me for years and may cause serious psychological damage? I have already booked time with my GP as a precautionary measure. You will be receiving my medical bills ongoing.

6
0

Microsoft urges law rewrite to keep US govt's mitts off overseas data

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Headmaster

@big_D Re:"Brad is right, if MS lose this case, it is essentially the death of all cloud services "

It is indeed richly ironic that the anal retentive control freaks of the American security/Homeland defence industry (and it is indeed an industry) are apparently bent on destroying one of the last areas in which the USA still has a very clear lead over the rest of the world. Bill Clinton's advisor in an earlier presidential election who posted "it's the economy stupid" was simply repeating old advice. Never mind your military it is your economy that keeps you a major player. It is mindbending that America's "defenders" apparently wish to take measures that will hasten the decline of the USA as a major power. It is not all about how many guns and rockets you have guys, wakey wakey!

4
0

Who hit you, HP Inc? 'Windows 10! It's all Windows 10's fault'

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: "(normally people buy a new machine to get a new Microsoft OS)"

Actually I think that most people these days buy a new machine when they need a new machine. The conventional pc-market has been heading south for some considerable time. I think that HP need to reexamine the excuses they are making for themselves. Currently, AFAIK, the only growth in the pc-market in general is in the area of "2-in-ones", "hybrids" and the like. If HP's main effort is still in knocking out boxes and expecting us to buy them then they should perhaps reevaluate their strategy.

29
0

Mobile World Congress 2016: Rolling updates

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Headmaster

"you’re gouged for the keyboard (€149), stylus/laser pointer"

Point of fact correction. The stylus is bundled with the Surface Pro. The rest of the sentence is correct.

0
0

Oz town suffers hairy panic attack

Arctic fox
Silver badge

Re: IT

Indeed Lester. It is in fact amazing that certain members of our little congregation still have not understood that "Boot notes" rarely has anything to do with IT. Indeed they have failed to grasp that that is the whole point. I am obliged to ask "how thick is it possible to be"?

5
0

Coding is more important than Shakespeare, says VC living in self-contained universe

Arctic fox
Silver badge

@itzman Well played sir, well played!

I am so jealous of your post I do not where to begin. Big thumbs up!

1
0
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@ Fruit and Nutcase: Well done old chap.

See icon.

9
0

Firemen free chap's todger from four-ring chokehold

Arctic fox
Silver badge
WTF?

@TitterYeNot Re: "Mind bleach?" You want mind bleach?

I cannot cope with the very thought of clicking on this link:

"The year before, the same hospital saw no less than eight firemen attend an eye-watering incident involving a spam javelin, a steel tube and an angle grinder. ®"

An angle grinder? May the Deity help us all!

1
0

Microsoft researchers smash homomorphic encryption speed barrier

Arctic fox
Silver badge

@amanfromMars 1 Lovely to see you posting again.

Did not understand a word of it as usual - but beautifully written all the same.

2
0

Ballmer schools SatNad on Microsoft's mobile strategy: You need one

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

@ Gordon 10 Re"Now imagine the towel slips........" Thank you for that image, NOT.

In the meantime, "Ballmer schools SatNad on Microsoft's mobile strategy: You need one".

It would have been great had Ballmer had an identifiable strategy when he was CEO.

10
0

Don't you see these simple facts? Destroy Facebook and restore human Liberty

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Way to go Andrew!

I think that you can guess what my attitude is to this example of antisocial media when I describe it as "FarceBooK". It reminds of nothing more than the circular letters that we used to get from a certain type of middle class acquaintance in the seventies and eighties, "Jeremy has done extremely well in his O-Levels and Samantha is becoming very horsey...." Excuse me while I puke.

14
1

The Mad Men's monster is losing the botnet fight: Fewer humans are seeing web ads

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: one hell of a metric

Indeed James. El Reg is one of my favourite sites but the eye-crossing ads/videos/popups really piss me off. What can I say?

1
0

Who would code a self-destruct feature into their own web browser? Oh, hello, Apple

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

I would just like to say that both the article (thank you Mr Dabbs) and many of..........

...............the comments BTL had me close to crying with laughter. See icon.

1
0

Microsoft buys SwiftKey, Britain's 'stealthiest software startup'

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

Random Handle Re:"http://research.microsoft.com/apps/catalog/default.aspx?t=publications"

Very good points Random Handle, just don't hold your breath as far as there being any chance that they will take any notice whatsoever. :)

3
4
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

@ simpfeld "to have produced virtually nothing that they have"

MS Research does a lot of long term basic research (basic as in not having an immediate commercial application). Their work takes years to pay off. One example of that work that is beginning to pay off is in the field of real time translation (as has been reported several times here at El Reg). I repeat, whatever you may think about MS' commercial operation; how many major companies would put as much money as they do into research that may not pay off at all, or may only pay off a decade or two down the line? The problem with any MS-thread currently is that, regardless of what the topic might be, it immediately becomes infested by large numbers of anti-Redmond hatebois whose only objective is to excrete large amounts of steaming ordure on the thread. There is plenty that MS deserve very strong criticism for but the utter incapacity of some to distinguish between issues is a royal pain in the backside for those of us who are actually interested in a worthwhile on topic discussion.

12
2
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

Hmm, the usual comments.

Did you boys miss the bit about these employees joining MS Research? How did you miss the importance of Swiftkey's people's first class AI skills? Whatever you may think about MS as a commercial outfit their research division is world class in the fields they cover.

13
12

Danish Sith Lord fined in Galactic Republic rumpus

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Trollface

@RedCardinal "..... probably considered by the general pubic to be disctinctly nerdish...."

I dare not speculate about what the average IT-pro thinks about the shiney-buying general public!

0
0

31 nations sign data-sharing pact to tax multinationals

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Roq D. Kasba "Line targets up one at a time and coordinate the spending public"

Very interesting suggestion. It could as part of a solution (state level cooperation of the type referred to in this article, changes to tax law and so on included) be very effective. See icon.

5
0

Islamic fundamentalists force Yorkshire IT shop to chop off brand

Arctic fox
Silver badge

Talk about gallows humour!

"The law of unintended consequences might have had an upside in this case, customers were likely to be prompt payers".

3
0

Five reasons why the Google tax deal is imploding

Arctic fox
Silver badge

Re: "It isn’t just the innumerati - Richard Murphy, Prem Sikka, Russell Brand, the Corbynite Left"

Indeed Boris, this exactly the kind of response I have been hearing from people who could not remotely be described as leftwing.

5
0
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Headmaster

"It isn’t just the innumerati - Richard Murphy, Prem Sikka, Russell Brand, the Corbynite Left"

Actually Andrew there are plenty on the "Corbynite Left" who are perfectly capable of counting without having to take their shoes and socks off to get above twenty who have made very clear their dislike of this "deal" without out resorting to criticisms that you would be likely to characterise as "hard left". It has indeed attracted well merited and clearly expressed criticism across the whole political spectrum (I am very glad to say). All you are doing with that kind of comment is giving the impression that you are paying obeisance to the Daily Fail and their like, something which I am very certain is not an impression that you wish to give. What is the problem with admitting that your feelings about this deal are also shared on the Left without making snide remarks? God help me, I even agree with Tories sometimes - not very often, but it has been known to happen. :P

13
2

The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: "The rest of us should get by on beans and lentils -

it's healthier for us and the environment."

I realise of course that you were being satirical, however there are those who actually do believe that it would be better for the environment. It would in fact require a huge extension of arable monoculture farming right across the face of the planet in order to do this. The irony of the vegan position is that it would do massive damage to the earth's ecosystem if we all dropped eating meat.

5
1

Apple's Tim Cook rocks up at Vatican - one week after Schmidt

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Joke

@Bbbit Re:"The Pope is allowed to eat beaver on a Friday"

Even I as a British English speaker chocked on that one. How our compadres from the western side of the pond are likely to react beggers the imagination. The Pope is allowed to engage in oral sex once a week - are you serious?

4
1
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

"Leader of world's biggest religion meets the Pope"

I realise that the more fundamentalist wing of the iFanbois will likely be hugely offended by that subheading but I laughed like a drain. Thumbs up for an extremely funny bit of "subbing".

21
0

How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

She found you and learnt how to downvote!

Thumbs up for that one Captain Scarlet!

6
0

Apple's anti-malware Gatekeeper still useless: Security bloke reveals lingering holes

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

Re: they never call

God's in his heaven and all's right with the world. It is so reassuring that the Fruity Company continues with this pathetic behaviour. I realise that this will not go down well with the anti-Redmond hatebois but despite the regular slaggings that El Reg give MS (very often deserved but not always) MS usually reply when asked for a comment. However, with regard to Cupertino the only appropriate comment is "plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose "

3
1

Australia considers mass herpes release for population control

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Joke

"Not people. Well, not yet"

Given the rate of STDs these days people can manage that for themselves without need for government assisstance!

1
0

Scarface's explosive 'Little Friend' goes under the hammer

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Happy

Re:"If you're a big guy, you could probably carry the battery and ammo"

Just about carry is of course the word. One of the more ridiculous scenes of that type is from "The Four Feathers" (1939) which features a scene showing Gary Cooper storming through the gates of a desert fort firing a Vickers HMG (WWI vintage) from the hip!

0
0

Hacks rebel after bosses secretly install motion sensors under desks

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Flame

This kind of attitude to staff is as old as the hills...............

...........it is just being facilitated by modern technology. My dear mother had a job in a cigarette factory in Norway in the late 1940s. All the line workers were women and they discovered that the (male) foreman was (on the orders of senior management) following the ladies when they took a toilet break to time how long they spent in the loo. Mum promptly organised a strike (she was a bit of a firebrand in her younger days) and the management backed down. All that is happening now is they are displaying the same contempt for their employees - just using modern surveilence/sensor technology to do it.

13
0

Windows 10 makes big gains at home, lags at work

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Diodelogic "One thing to remember when reading comments on the Register "

Your comment was a statement of an observable fact. Furthermore, your post was very carefully objective making it clear that you were not engaging in any kind of tribalist slagging. All the same I see that some saddo downvoted you. Have an upvote to even that up.

5
3
Arctic fox
Silver badge

@MikeeMiracle Re:"Our workplace has trying to lock this down for about a month"

MS made a point of announcing about four weeks ago (it was reported here at El Reg) that Windows Enterprise customers would be able to stop all telemetry if they chose to do so (as well as being able to block all up-dates until they had been tested and found by the customer to be acceptable). Has your IT dept got on to Microsoft UK and asked them what the fark is going?

5
0
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Headmaster

This pattern is entirely predictable

"See how Windows 7 peaks for five days, then dips? And see how Windows 10 and Windows 8.x surge at the same time Windows 7 dips? Line up the days from the data and you'll quickly see that Windows 7 thrives during the working week and other versions of Windows do better on weekends"

It has always been the case that enterprise adopts a new Windows iteration at a slower pace than the domestic retail market. I would be utterly astonished if that were not the case this time as well - it is not even yet six months since launch.

However, given that the current Enterprise version of Windows 10 enables both blocking of updates and blocking any "slurping" this iteration does not present issues for the business sector in the way that the Home and Pro editions do for private customers. That means of course that if there is no significant uptick within enterprise over the next year or so then MS would have good reason to be worried.

14
0

Lovelace at 200: Celebrating the High Priestess to Babbage's machines

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Flame

@ 45RPM Re:"Bit part? Jesus! Are you serious?"

I wholly agree. The lady was a major contributor in her own right. I also take grave exception to the fact that El Reg mentions Apple's former CEO in the same breath as a genius like Turin. You would have to be a totally brain dead iFanboi to believe that such a comparison was appropriate.

27
2

GCHQ mass spying will 'cost lives in Britain,' warns ex-NSA tech chief

Arctic fox
Silver badge
WTF?

@ Thought About IT "The power that mass surveillance gives to the spooks"

I believe that the point that the gentleman is making (if I have not misunderstood what he has said) is that it does not, in practice, give them the power that they dream of. In other words indiscriminate mass surveilence does not in fact achieve what they believe it will achieve. IE. They are destroying the temple instead of saving it. What he is saying is that their strategy is stupid and counterproductive. Icon? My reaction to that they, in reality, appear to be intent on demonstrating that it is an almost biblical truth.

3
0

Thinking of buying a Surface? Try a modular OLED Thinkpad first

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Flame

"Oh and it folds back on itself to make a tablet."

Oh and it reinstalls crap from BIOS level even if you do a clean install? Now that's what I call added value. Lenovo, the name you can trust - excuse me while I puke.

2
1

Apple coughs up $350m – 2.3 days of annual profit – to make Italy's taxmen go away

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Flame

@John Brown (no body) Re: Reality Distortion Field

I think the clue lies in the phrase you quote: "We pay every tax dollar we owe." BigCorp (Apple or any other example) have a very differant take than we ordinary mortals on how much tax they owe. The phrase "as little as fucking possible, by any means possible as long as we members of the Managerati are not at any risk of being personally fined or doing jail time" comes to mind. Icon? My reaction to that type of behaviour.

7
1

Microsoft in 2016: Is there any point asking SatNad what's coming?

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

@AC "The MS Fanbois must be ZZZZZZZZing in bed"

Have you just come through the looking glass Alice? It is a matter of trivial observation that you will get far more downvotes by praising MS here at El Reg than you will ever get by attacking them.

4
0

2015 wasn't about AWS. It was about everybody getting ready to try to beat AWS

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Microsoft desperation and "dismal sales of Xbox one"

"Dismal sales"? What have you been smoking anti-Redmond hateboi? PS4 is clearly ahead by a very good margin but describing the Xbox sales as "dismal" takes FUD to a new hight. If you really think that the link that you provided justifies that assertion you should change your meds.

3
1

2015: The year storage was rocked to its foundations

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

"Everything is changing and we don't store the same"

"Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose"

Thumbs up for that very sublte reference - I was genuinely impressed. Happy New Year everyone!

2
0

DEAD MAN'S SOCKS and other delightful gifts from clients

Arctic fox
Silver badge

@Richard Gray 1 Re: "sheep's leg that is cured for several months"

Yes, its a sort of "sheep ham" and very far from cheap as well. I remember working on a consultancy basis for a medical biochem company in the run up to Christmas a few years ago and they gave me a whole leg of fenalår by way of an extra thank you and we were still chewing bits of it in March! Good thing that La Señora both like it. :)

0
0

Windows for Warships? Not on our new aircraft carriers, says MoD

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

But have they installed Service Pack 1 yet?

I think we should be told.

3
0

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Star Wars Special Editions

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Graham Dawson Re: "I think it's clear who was right." To be honest old chap...............

.................I cannot for one moment disagree with you. My lady and I are Star Wars fans from way back when. Indeed we watched the first of the originals in the West End in 1977 when it was first released and the experience for us was amazing. When the first of the prequels was released we almost ran to our local "picture palace". We left after half an hour - we were that pissed with what Lucas had done. To this day "Jar-Jar" is a swearword in our house that no expression from our upbringing in the east end of London could possibly match (quite apart from the many other sins that Lucas committed in that unspeakable trilogy).*

*I will be very open here and say that I regard the prequel trilogy as self-indulgent garbage produced by someone whose fortuitous success** with the original films had promoted him beyond his level of competence.

**Given that there were many others involved in the original series whose contribution was enormous - something that Lucas' ego has never allowed him to acknowledge properly.

7
0
Arctic fox
Silver badge

@Voland's right hand Re:"....you might as well put Jar Jar Binks in charge."

Ouch! What a nightmare vision. Mind you the most nightmarish thing about it is that you are right. I love the original trilogy but like you I am aware of the fact that it was Lucas' dependence on others when he made the orginal three that had a great influence on the result.

3
0

Mozilla looses Firefox 43, including Windows 64-bit variant

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@The Travelling Dangleberries Re: "Classic Theme Restorer"

Thanks for that heads up - appreciate it.

1
0

Microsoft beats Apple's tablet sales, apologises for Surface 4 flaws

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

@Ken Moorhouse Re:"Time will tell if there is an element of "Channel Stuffing......"

I don't think that there is for two reasons. One, we see that since the launch of the SP3 and then the S3 the surface line has been doing well (roughly a billion dollars per quarter). The second reason is that, as we know, Redmond massively over produced and overshipped the SP1, SP2, SRT1 and SRT2 with the result that they got very badly burned and had to swallow a humungous write-down. I think that they would be likely to be very cautious after that clusterfuck.

1
1

Typo in case-sensitive variable name cooked Google's cloud

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@dotdavid "Oh I dunno, a particularly grievous grammatical error might conceivably......."

See icon.

1
0
Arctic fox
Silver badge

@Andrew Jones 2 Re:"To my knowledge "

Agreed. Furthermore, a typo committed by one of the El Reg journos would in all likelihood not cause this site to go offline for most of 24hrs!

3
0

Microsoft offers Linux certification. Do not adjust your set. This is not an error

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

Re: "Embrace the start of a well know Microsoft-linked phrase?"

Microsoft has not a hope in hell of extinguishing Linux, something the current CEO knows perfectly well and is clearly able to accept in a way that his predecessors were not. Given that, “approximately one in four virtual machines on Azure are Linux, and more than half of Azure Marketplace images are based on Linux”, Nadella would appear to be applying intelligent self-interest rather than the brain dead variety that both Ballmer and Gates specialised in as far as anything remotely related to open source was concerned.

12
1

Microsoft Lumia 950 and 950XL: Clear thoughts of Continuum with a snazzy camera

Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

@Olaf Re: "Phone might well run all day hardly using any charge then for some reason.....

......decides it wants to be a pocket warmer."

Just wondering old chap in context with my reply to "dogged", do you notice any context with which apps you are using when this happens? Genuine question, I am very puzzled by these phenomena. I get the feeling that a great deal of this is not connected to hardware issues in the phones concerned (at least not in the direct sense). I am beginning to wonder whether it is driven by the app-usage pattern. Just a guess on my part you understand.

1
0
Arctic fox
Silver badge
Windows

@dogged Re:"then started burning power like it was a space heater."

I have noticed a lot about this on various threads connected to this or that tech preview build and it does appear to be strangely random with regard to who is affected. I am running the latest build on a Lumia 640 and its bigger brother the 640XL and the battery life is excellent, at least as good as when they were running 8.1. However, I have seen a number of other 640/640XL owners reporting poor battery life and overheating issues (something which I have not experienced at all). There does not appear to be any explicable pattern currently. I confess that I am very puzzled.

1
0

Forums