* Posts by Sweeping Brush

26 posts • joined 5 Nov 2009

LG: You can stop hiding from your scary SPY TELLY quite soon now

Sweeping Brush

Re: Web site - does it exist

It doesn't yet, but it will soon, you just gave me a wonderful idea.

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Sony outs its first Ultrabook

Sweeping Brush
FAIL

Fails the first test.

Test 1. Does it have a number pad?

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iPad to reign unchallenged as KING of FONDLESLABS

Sweeping Brush

I'm assuming this is a typo?

73 million units compared to 37,900 device running Android.

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Tesla 300-mile e-car UK debut set for 2013

Sweeping Brush
Happy

Only 89 years to wait

Tesla 300-mile e-car UK Debut set for 2103

Excellent, by then we should be able to drive it using a direct brain to car interface

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City IT manager accused of brazenly stealing mayor's email

Sweeping Brush

City IT manager accused of brazenly COPYING mayor's email

Fixed that title for you.

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EC to vet Euro broadband performance

Sweeping Brush

Eircom are in trouble.

Finally, I get to prove how crap Eircom really are.

Advertised Speed : 8MB

Actual Speed : 2MB on a good day with a stiff wind behind them.

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Sony insurer says it's not liable for costs of data breach

Sweeping Brush

Why Sue?

I'm completely not understanding the reason that the insurance company is sueing here.

Step 1. Sony get hacked.

Step 2. Sony submit claim.

Step 3. Zurich says 'You're not covered idiot'

Step 4. We all laugh at Sony.

No need to sue, just all stand around and laugh at Sony.

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Star Wars: The Old Republic preps pre-order pages

Sweeping Brush

There is a standard edition you know.

Just buy the standard edition, its the same game and if you really want the jumble, just wait until your local game store reduces it to 10 quid to get their shelf space back.

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Research links laptops to 'toasted skin syndrome'

Sweeping Brush

So why are the called laptops then?

Why are they called laptops if you cant put them on your lap?

Surely they should be called 'do not place on your lap as it causes you to look like an old scottish woman' tops?

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Police issue lettuce e-fit

Sweeping Brush

Colour blind witness?

Did they not maybe figure that the reason the hair was green was because the witness saw it as NOT green due to colour blindness?

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Fake IBM playboy pleads guilty

Sweeping Brush

360 quid a day to shovel shit!!!

Hand me a shovel!

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Man charged with malware 'sextortion' plot

Sweeping Brush

Turn off your PC.

Dammit , don't people turn off their PCs anymore.

No matter how much malware and shite is on a PC its gonna have a tough time recording you doing the horizontal dance if you just turn the damn thing off before you go to bed.

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Aussies rage at 'strings attached' iPad sales

Sweeping Brush
Thumb Up

Cost Price on Shelf Labels?

Wouldn't that be nice

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Software SNAFU took out 10,000 military geo locators

Sweeping Brush

Who needs enemies?

A military spokesman said officials are "extremely confident in the safety and security of the GPS system from enemy attack."

We are of course scared shitless that some snotty nosed sys-op back at base is gonna screw it all up again!!

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3-million-km-long comet plunges into Sun

Sweeping Brush
Paris Hilton

Paris

Because she knows all about 'deep penetration'

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Outsourcing goes inside

Sweeping Brush
FAIL

Thank you, con again!

So here we have well educated prisoners, in a 3rd world country, being given PCs and access to banking information.

I don't see much problems here, do you?

</sarcasm>

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Mobe-wielding drivers getting away with it

Sweeping Brush

Law in Ireland slightly different.

In Ireland the offense is 'Holding a mobile phone while driving' and costs 2 penalty points

You don't even have to be using it.

From the April 2010 statistics almost 90,000 points were given out so over here its definitely being enforced.

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EFF fights Facebook bid to outlaw one-stop social apps

Sweeping Brush

Facebook has ads???

I only just realised while reading this that there are ads on farcebook, I've only ever opened it with adblock running so never even realised.

Just goes to show how good adblock does its job

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San Francisco's rogue BOFH is guilty

Sweeping Brush

Memory Wipe.

Official : "Mr BOFH, you're fired, please hand over all passwords"

Mr BOFH : "I'm not an employee of your company, therefore I have no reason to know any of your passwords and have wiped them from my mind, you will need to retrieve them from the secure location they are stored in"

Official : "Thank you Mr BOFH, where is this secure location"

Mr BOFH : "I'm not an employee of your company therefore have no reason to know where this location is and have wiped it from my mind" .....

Problem solved.

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Bloke threatens BT with giant plywood cheque

Sweeping Brush

And don't pay the postage!

Don't forget that when you're mailing in the 8 x 4 plywood sheets to BT, either use their freepost address, if they have one or just don't pay the postage.

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Microsoft 'offered sex and drugs to distributors'

Sweeping Brush
Paris Hilton

Microsoft -

Who do you want to do today?

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Why Nominet disconnected 1,000 sites with no court oversight

Sweeping Brush

Thank you mr policeman.

The Police pointed out a number of domains to Nominet,

Nominet investigated them and discovered the violated the agreed upon contract and suspended them,

whats the problem?

If Nominet had suspended properly registered and valid domains without a court order then step on them, but in this case, the police told them something, the looked at the domains, found they were wrongly registered and suspended them.

anyone that was affected could have simply updated their details with valid details and got turned back on again. As has happened with the valid ones that were suspended.

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Smut-ladened spam disguises WoW Trojan campaign

Sweeping Brush
Paris Hilton

First rule of marketing ...

know your target market, and these guys obviously do.

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Activision denies Modern Warfare 2 Russian ban

Sweeping Brush

Scary Terrorists.

I don't think the world has much to fear from terrorists who's only source of inspiration is a video game.

If we do then watch out for the terrorists who start rolling a small little ball of rubbish around, pretty soon they'll roll the whole world !!!!!

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Play.com leaves Modern Warfare 2 buyers empty handed

Sweeping Brush
Paris Hilton

Cheap in Ireland

Got it from Smyths in Ireland on day of release for 40 euro, which has now been bumped up to 54 euro.

Is this a new tactic, launch day have it about 25% cheaper and then bump it up, as its the first time I've seen it.

I will of course be taking advantage of this tactic next weekend for Assassassassassassassassins Creed :)

Paris (her price is always low)

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115,000 nabbed for in-car calling

Sweeping Brush
Paris Hilton

Rules of the Road.

I don't know the exact rule of the roads over in England, but here in Ireland it is actually against the law to have ANYTHING in your hand while driving.

Its considered that if you have anything in your hands that you are not giving complete attention to your driving and so you can be done for driving without due care and attention.

I can't find the news report right now, but I do remember that a few years ago there was a successful prosecution of a man who was eating an apple while driving!!! He obviously ran into the cop on a really bad day :)

Paris (because holding any part of her would definitely be a distraction)

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