Intent is EVERYTHING, no free passes for being duped
I happen to know of at least three cheating spouses who did in fact go online looking for playmates (don't know about AM specifically). As far as I know, they didn't successfully get laid through the online sites.
They DID however hang out in bars trolling for playmates, scope prospects at the health club, etc. sometimes successfully managing a hookup and shag. They engaged the services of prostitutes. All without permission from their ignored spouses (not frigid or ugly old hags) and in violation of the marriage agreement.
Let's stop whitewashing the ones who tried on AM and didn't succeed. Their intent was to cheat, and had AM been for real they most likely would have. They're lying scum, and deserve some hard scrutiny from their partner.
Married folks with permission to play around are called swingers, not cheaters. They're on the swing sites, not AM or its ilk. (I know some of them too)