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* Posts by Colin Wilson 2

91 posts • joined 26 Oct 2009

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Google Maps community competition falls foul of Indian regulations

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Secret?

It's not just former communist countries either.

I used to live near Heathrow when they were building Terminal 5. Lots of Photography Forbidden signs aruond the construction there too.

Including, rather bizzarely, on a green field the other side of the M25 from the rest of the airport. Only the sturdy fence and the signs gave any clue that there was Something There!.

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BT at last coughs to 'major outage' after broadband went titsup across UK on Sat

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Hardly noticed

>> Email worked, all the forums I use regularly worked, the load of crap my daughter looks at, didn't work

Which is quite interesting in itself. Facebook, Twitter, Apple etc. all failed to work. But BBC News etc. carried on working fine. Very spooky! What are they preparing for?

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REVEALED: Reg trails claw along Apple's 'austerity' 21.5-inch iMac

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Everyday performance

It looks like it may be a good option if you want to develop software for Apple things - should be plenty powerful enough to run XCode.

Of course you could get a Mac Mini for £499 - but that has no screen, keyboard or mouse, worse graphics and only comes with 4GB RAM

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Daddy, what will you do in the new security wars?

Colin Wilson 2

We need to attack this from the other end too:

* Operating systems shouldn't be able to run unsigned software - ever.

* Compiler vendors should provide provide the tools for programmers - whether coporate or a guy in his bedroom - to sign software backed by a certificate that identifies them, and with a proper, trusted certificate chain - no self-signed rubbish.

* Certificate revocation lists should be enforced as strictly as is practicable.

* Sandboxing should be made to work properly, stricly enforced, but remain flexible enough to enable programs to do what they need - as long as they've been given explicit permission by the end users

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Protecting code's secrets wins ACM prize

Colin Wilson 2

That C's so complicated

Try Pascal instead - it reads like a book:

program xmas;

{$APPTYPE CONSOLE}

function t_ (t, _ : Integer; a : PChar) : Integer;

begin

if 1<t then begin if t<3 then t_(-79,-13,a+t_(-87,1-_,t_(-86,0,a+1)+a)

); if t<_ then t_(t+1,_,a); if (t_(-94,-27+t,a)<>0) and (t=2) then if _<

13 then result:=t_(2,_+1,'%s %d %d'#13) else result:=9 else result:=16 end

else if t<0 then if t<-72 then result:=t_(_,t,'@n''+,#''/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,'+

'{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/''r :'''+

'd*''3,}{w+K w''K:''+}e#'';dq#''l q#''+d''K#!/+k#;q#''r}eKK#}w''r}eKK{nl]'''+

'/#;#q#n''){)#}w''){){nl]''/+#n'';d}rw'' i;# ){nl]!/n{n#''; r{#w''r nc{nl]'+

'''/#{l,+''K {rw'' iK{;[{nl]''/w#q#n''wk nw'' iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%''l##w#'' i; '+

':{nl]''/*{q#''ld;r''}{nlwb!/*de}''c ;;{nl''-{}rw]''/+,}##''*}#nc,'',#nw]'''+

'/+kd''+e}+;#''rdq#w! nr''/ '') }+}{rl#''{n'' '')# }''+}##(!!/') else if t<

-50 then if _=Ord(a^) then begin result:=Ord(a[31]); if a[31]=#13 then WriteLn

else Write(a[31]); end else result:=t_(-65,_,a+1) else result:=t_(Ord(a^

='/')+t,_,a+1) else if 0<t then result:=t_(2,2,'%s') else result:=Ord((a^=

'/') or (t_(0,t_(-61,Ord(a^),'!ek;dc i@bK''(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:'#13'uwloc'+

'a-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry'),a+1)<>0))

end;

begin

t_ (1, 10000, '')

end.

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Reg readers wot won it: Five flee reality armed with smart strap-ons

Colin Wilson 2

Famous Five

... worst Enid Blyton novel title ever?

Hmmm - since one of the Famous Five was a cross-dressing tom-boy too much into her dog, and another one was called Dick it seems almost appropriate!

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Parallels could whip VMware or Microsoft, happier as Robin Hood

Colin Wilson 2

Parallels is great....

... until you try to uninstall it. Then you discover that its hooked itself to your Mac tighter than killer Californian sponge to a crab.

Shudder! Never again!

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Samsung files patent for ear-mounted Google Glass competitor

Colin Wilson 2

Lipsmackin?

>> Despite promises that the irresistible wristable would make you a hit with the ladies, sales have been, well, "disappointing"

They need to market them properly. It goes like this...

Geek:

Hey Eddie, How come you're such a hit with the girls?

Eddie:

Well you can tell by what I'm wearing how I get down with the Chicks - Oh Yeah!

With Google Glasses on my eyes I get to check out all their tricks - Oh Yeah!

And when I google through my peepers

I get to check out which are keepers

Google Glasses

Chorus:

Oooh Google Glasses

Ear-mounted Google Glasses

... repeat to fade...

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Beat it, freetards! Dyn to shut down no-cost dynamic DNS next month

Colin Wilson 2

<smug I donated years back & I've just got the e-mail :) />

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Belgian judge mulled BANNING APPLE (actually, its website) in Euro warranty row

Colin Wilson 2

Re: 10 years, 100,000 miles??

Presumably you're trying to troll? Everyone by now knows that Apple offer a battery replacement services for all their devices:

https://www.apple.com/uk/batteries/replacements.html

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Apple, Symantec, other tech heavies challenge anti-gay legislation

Colin Wilson 2

"Apple, which recently kicked off work on a sapphic glass display manufacturing facility in Arizona..."

How appropriate!

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Yahoo! Mail! users! change! your! passwords! NOW!

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Improved password change security!

"Mine perpetually says that my new password is too similar to my old one"

How on earth would they know? Unless they are saving them in plain text...

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Boffins measure 27 quantum states of light

Colin Wilson 2

Maybe they were Spanish?

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Furtive ebook readers push Hitler's Mein Kampf up the charts

Colin Wilson 2

Re: The worst book ever?

"Hitler was very much an antidisestablishmentarian"

Yes - but surely that doesn't entirely floccinaucinihilipilificate him?

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Thought of in-flight mobile calls fills you with dread? Never fear, US Dept of Transport is here

Colin Wilson 2

Re: More laws. @!$@%%@

Crikey! The only reasonable voice in this thread, and you've got 12 down-votes(!). Have an up-vote from me

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Surface Pro 2: It's TOOL-PROOF and ultimately destined for LANDFILL

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Battery Life

At least Apple provide a battery replacement service for everything they make where the battery is not user replaceable - iPods, iPhones, iPads & MacBooks. Not ideal - but better than nothing.

http://www.apple.com/uk/batteries/replacements.html

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Microsoft Surface 2 fondleslabs finally get off ground with airline order

Colin Wilson 2

Re: ve have many vays of kontrolling you

> an administrator can't lock down that setting from a user...

Yes they can. With the iPhone onfiguration utility you can set it so that that the user can remove the profile; the user can remove the profile with a password, or the user can't remove (or otherwise disable) the profile at all.

See the 'security' dropdown in the General tab in the configuration utility. Set 'Control when this profile can be removed' to 'Never'.

Maybe the LA education board forgot to set this option?

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Apple iOS 7 remote wipe: Can it defeat the evil scrumper scourge?

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Hope you get to your "Kill Switch" before the thief does:

I just tried it - it works! It doesn't completely unlock the phone, but enough to see your photos and send them via e-mail, facebook, twitter, etc. Plus you can bring up the Contacts if you try to mail a photo.

I'm sure there'll be a fix along soon - but in the meantime - fail!

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Colin Wilson 2

Re: You mean Apple didn't have this feature already.

Apple have had 'Find my Phone' for years too.

The new feature in iOS7 is that if you have Find My Phone turned on, you can't use the phone - even if you totally wipe it, reset all settings and re-install the operating system - unless you know the owner's Apple ID & password.

If you want to sell or give your phone to someone else, you first have to turn off Find My Phone (which requires you Apple ID & password too)

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Colin Wilson 2

Re: Macs, too

No - any device with a browser will do - just go to iCloud.com from your Windows PC, Linux box, your poor mate's Android tablet, etc...

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Microsoft mocks Apple and new iPhones in vids it quickly pulls

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Interview? An Hilarious....

No - it's definately 'A Hilarious' and 'A Historic'. 'A Hotel', too. I heard a woman saying 'we're staying in an four-star hotel' the othe day. Doh!

I think the 'An Historic' way of saying it came about because the Americans were trying to suck up to the French once or something - a bit like why they drive on the wrong side of the road.

Or maybe it's an old fashioned Policeman's English thing - adding aitches because it's better than dropping them, to show you're 'heducated'!

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Apple files 'Bonk to Gift' near field communication patent application

Colin Wilson 2

Re: However, it will be interesting to see who has ownership of said gift?

While we're feeling poetic, with apologies for breeding a new earworm, and to Mark Twain:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Literary_Nightmare

try:

Fanbois, when you're feeling free

Bonk a present to the iphone of the recei-vee

An AppStore App for Sister C

An iTunes Tune for Uncle G

Bonk a present to the iphone of the recei-vee

Chorus

Bonk brothers! Bonk with glee!

Bonk-a present to-the i-phone of the recei-VEE!

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Apple earnings slip, but numbers beat Wall Street estimates

Colin Wilson 2

Huh?

You get a 'free' charging cable with your phone. Replacement ones are $19.99 from Apple for both the old 30-pin charging cables, and the new lightning ones.

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Telly psychics fail to foresee £12k fine for peddling nonsense

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Hilarious - and phoney

"What's next, El Reg, are you going to remind us that 'all religion is bunk'...

... and that Atheists prefer Android

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Colin Wilson 2

Re: They are not alone in promoting nonsense

>> Getting pretty bored of the 95% of unthinking atheost comments that dogmatically repeat the same tired old mantras on forums...

Amen to that!

Seriously - if I could vote that up more than once I would

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Apple dangles Spangles while Dabbsy's cables rankle

Colin Wilson 2

Re: VGA

> It just works...

VGA plugs come second only to SCART in the 'worst possible plug design' category. There are too many pins. The pins are too long and flimsy. When you plug them in there's always that worry: "Is one of the pins slightly misaligned? If I push harder will I bend it completey out of shape?

And if you try to bend the pin back - using the clip from a Biro lid - with minutes to go before the prsentation starts - it almost always breaks off.

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BBC boffins ponder abstruse Ikea-style way of transmitting telly

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Not so good for real time...

>> I still ring the speaking clock twice a year - dial 123

By a strange and satisfying coincidence 123 is also the UDP port used by the network time protocol (NTP)

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Suspected Chinese NASA spy smuggled smut not state secrets

Colin Wilson 2
Headmaster

Re: Chinese rockets

>> Failing that - you can kidnap a few Nazi's

Is that ein Großer Apostrophe?? !

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Researcher sets up illegal 420,000 node botnet for IPv4 internet map

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Using a default username and password isn't hacking

If I don't lock my front door, is it illegal for my neighbour to pop in with a flask of home-made soup, because they know I'm feeling poorly. "We didn't ring the bell because we could see you were asleep on the sofa".

It happened to my Mum he other day. She was very grateful. She didn't call the police!

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Weev gets 41 months in prison for exposing iPad strokers' privates

Colin Wilson 2
Headmaster

Just one user?

iPad user's privates? Not a big deal. Unless you meant iPad users' privates.

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Top Firefox OS bloke flames Opera for WebKit surrender

Colin Wilson 2

Write your own browser...

Every programmer should write their own browser, with it's own layout code, rendering engine, JS interpretter etc. It's not going to work very well - unless you're really talented and really persistent. But it will give you something to do do witter away those long winter nights.

Grab a copy of the RFCs, your favourite C compiler and get pushing those pixels!

That's really the point of this discussion. WIthout good standards there's no way to do this. And with a single reference implementation (Webkit) the standards could deteriorate until it becomes 'the standard is what the code does'. At least it's open source.

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Firm moves to trademark 'Python' name out from under the language

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Of course there is always

Funnily enough, Apple - the Beatles one were in the electronics business way before Apple the computer company.

Google 'Magic Alex' sometime...

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Apple confirms 128GB iPad. A hundred bucks for an extra 64GB

Colin Wilson 2
FAIL

iCloud??

"Phil Schiller suggested iPad owners could use the extra space on their tablets to store all their work and media without needing "their old PCs”."

I thought that's what the iCloud was for

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Apple releases iOS 6.1, adds LTE carriers, tweaks security

Colin Wilson 2

Re: ios 6 hmm

>Thinking I will skip ios 6 entirely and wait for ios7 with a jailbreak for my iPAD 2

And what makes you think that ios7 will support an iPad 2 ?

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Colin Wilson 2

Re: "... what was yours?"

Pink Austin 1100.

Well it was meant to be red, but it had faded so much over the years that pink describes it better.

And seeing as I was young then it had all the required add ons. Small steering wheel. Faux Leopardskin furry seat covers. 6 band graphic equaliser. Triple air horns. Gear knob in the shape of a skull etc.

Those were the days!

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Ten… top tech cock-ups of 2012

Colin Wilson 2

Re: 3=1, etc.

There are problems with the Apple Maps software - not just the data.

1. The colours are ridiculous. Stupid. Who's bright idea was it to make almost all roads pale grey on a pale yellow background?

2. It doesn't understand U.K addresses. In particular, it often seems to take the town from your postcode and thinks that's where you live. So if your address is '1 High street, Cookham, SL6 1AX'. It sees the 'SL' bit and thinks you live at '1 High street, Slough' - which is miles away.

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After Sandy Hook, Senator calls for violent video game probe

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Still flogging that horse I see

>> You also have FA chance of getting them all back if you ban guns outright <<

I see this argument used a lot in these discussions, but it's missing the point. - which is to to reduce the number of guns in circulation over time until legally held ones are very uncommon, and illegal ones are much harder to come by.

Once you've banned them you slowly remove them from circulatiion, with government 'buy back' programs, cash-for guns schemes, 'no-questions-asked' amnesties, etc.

Its probably not going to stop next years massacre. But hopefully it will stop these incidents being so common as the years go by.

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Siri: Can you make a Raspberry Pi open a garage door?

Colin Wilson 2

The next step would be to tie it with the iPhone ring-fenced location thing so that it automatically opened the garage door as you drove up your road. It would have to monitor your speed too, so it could tell that you are driving, not walking.

The only snag is that Apple Maps currently thinks I live a couple of miles away from my house. I'd have to drive to where it thinks I live to trigger the thing, then race back before the doors had timed out and shut themselves again.

But I'm sure they will fix it - eventually!

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Won't follow Apple Store rules? How 'bout an iTASER TREAT!

Colin Wilson 2

Separated by a common language...

A baton??

Ok - you use your bread stick. I'll use a truncheon!

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Fred Flintstone may not have been real but his pet Dino WAS - boffins

Colin Wilson 2

The world's oldest dinosaur?

The leaf-munching dinosaurs in the picture's background look even older

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Help-desk hell

Colin Wilson 2

Re: My funniest one

It reminds me of when I had my first job - at a small Apple dealer. We had one guy come in with his Apple ][e and two 5.25" floppy drives. He'd only had it a week., and both the floppy drives had stopped working.

He was apoplectic. Red faced with anger. I think it was the first time I'd heard the word 'Crapple'!

I opened up the disk drive cases and extracted from each one a slice of processed cheese. It turns out his two year old son had been playing...

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Colin Wilson 2

Re: Ask it where I live!

It was in Crowthorne in Berkshire. We had an ancient PDP-4 too which originally came from the Harwell Nuclear place, and which we slowly renovated and pieced together.

Big blue cabinets, 18-bit accumulator, fully transistorised except for the valves in the power supply, banks of 30000 uF capacitors strapped together to make a very rudimentary UPS, KSR-35 - the Rolls-Royce of teletypes, DEC tape, a weird circular VDU with a light pen (we never got that working).

For my A level Computer Science project I wrote a text editor in PDP-4 machine language. Goodness knows how they marked it :)

Good times!

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Colin Wilson 2

Ask it where I live!

When I was at school in the 70s the school had one computer - a Digital PDP8-f. A few of us were really into it, and for speech day we were given the task of demonstrating it to parents who had wandered as far as the maths block.

We wanted it to look impressive, so we set it up with the lights on the front blinking in groovy patterns, the teletype clattering away, the VDU endlessly solving 'The Towers of Hanoi' etc. We were delighted with the results.

Eventually one mother came in, immaculately dressed, trotting along on high heals, and with a cute, pale blue wide-brimmed hat, which she'd probably worn at Ascot. She took her time looking at the whirring contraptions, then finally said:

"Ask it where I live"

We mumbled some reply about it not being Mystic Meg, and after she left we fell about with gleeful scorn. How could anyone be so thick??! For years afterwards I used this story to illustrate the vast gulf between the expectations of people who understood computers, and the great unwashed.

But suddenly we have phones with things like Siri. You say "Siri, where do I live?" and it tells you. It even shows you on a map.

1-0 to the muggles!

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AT&T randomly letting some customers use FaceTime on cellular

Colin Wilson 2

Only once - when you first get your iPhone. The short conversation invariably ends with "I can see straight up your nose!"

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Microsoft-Motorola patent row: Google wants $4 BEELLION a year

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Oh I see

"In December 1970 Dirk sued Stig and Nasty, Barry sued Dirk, Nasty sued Stig and Barry, and Stig sued himself accidently. It was the end of a golden era, and the beginning of another one for lawyers everywhere."

I knew I'd seen all this before!

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Brits kept waiting as iPad Mini LTE arrives Stateside

Colin Wilson 2

Re: 4G

When I bought my iPhone 5 from on a 2 year contract from T-Mobile in September it was advertised as '4g ready'. They now tell me that if I want to use 4g I have to start a new contract, and that there's no point anyway because its not available in my area (Reading).

So yeah. 4G's a mugs game at the moment. And I'm one of the mugs :(

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iPad Mini's quite a handful

Colin Wilson 2

I like the way Apple got Phil Schiller to present this the other day. He's a big bloke. Hands like bunches of bananas!

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British judge: Say you're sorry Apple... this time like you MEAN it

Colin Wilson 2

Well, what did he expect?

If Judge Jacob was so flippant as to say "Samsung can't be infringing Apple's iPad design because it's not as cool", I don't see how he can complain when Apple post in their apology "Samsung doesn't infringe our patent with their tablet because the Judge says it's not as cool as our iPad".

I mean, he did say it didn't he. It's on record. Apple would be misleading their customers if they didn't point it out. What's his problem?

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The new Mac mini eviscerated with ease

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Mac Mini - what's its main purpose?

You need to run Xcode (Apple's IDE) to develop software for iPhones & iPads. The Mac Mini is the cheapest computer that lets you do this.

Write your killer app. Put it in the app store. Get your share of the $6 Billion that Apple have paid out to developers over the last 2 years. Profit!

That's the theory anyway. YMMV

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Apple unveils iPad mini, upgrades its big brother

Colin Wilson 2

Re: iPad mini at £269 =

"the iPad 3 has the A6 "

No it doesn't - it has an A5X.

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