43 posts • joined 25 Oct 2009
You want old jokes?
Does everyone remember the other old joke?
"We found out why the stamps weren't sticking to the envelopes.
The glue is fine, but people are spitting on the wrong side."
Nook like your Money
I've been chasing Nook for a refund since May 2013 - they apologise, promise to pay up, nothing happens.
Chase them again, rinse & repeat.
Not a firm I'd choose to deal with.
"Did they specifically desire a sexually provocative 13 year old with budding breasts and a short skirt to be their mascot?"
One of us needs a new monitor.
If he invoked the 5th, he would thus confirm that he has committed criminal actions.
Is that a good result?
“We couldn’t be more delighted to have another major supersonic milestone under our belts as we move toward a 2014 start of commercial service,”
Should he be be putting milestones under his belt - supersonic or even stationary ones?
Glad to see he's moving forward towards 2014 though.
Fuhrer's Tea-Time Tastes
Do you think Hitler would have been fond of a little red bush?
Re: Scheduled to ship
I ordered one & got a whole series of emails.
Acknowledgement/ processing/ about to ship/ it has been shipped.... and 15 minutes after that last one, a final email to say it's all been a mistake, we haven't shipped anything and we're out of stock so please buy a different model at £69.
Clearly a company one can have confidence in.
Buy a Nook Simple Touch for £29, including delivery.
But you will want a "Matte Screen Protector Kit " to preserve your valuable e-reader of course.
Fog, Mist, Rain, Sea-spay?
It's impervious to all these right?
Where's that drawing board?
Re: Mixed lessons from history?
I agree that China would have no wish to fight alongside NK if a war should start, but to jump from that to assume that China would fight against NK is an impossible leap.
Why on earth would they? What could they possibly gain from this?
Sit back and let everyone else exhaust themselves.
It's a job for International Rescue!
Light up Thunderbird 1 and get it over the search area ASAP.
David Miliband! Your hour has come.
"Higgs hunt halts"
If El Reg decides to move into radio, you're going to need specially trained stunt announcers for this stuff.
Re: Just wait for...
Let me get this right.
Your telling us that your mistress is mooning everyone?
It's a thingy.
A fiendish thingy.
(Copyright Ringo Starr)
Re: Hydrogen FTW
Obviously you did.
Do I have to spell it out for you?
"In all seriousness, can anyone spend long periods reading from a tablet without suffering eye strain and associated headaches? Can many people even hold a proper tablet in their hands for extended periods without cramping?"
Yes. I do so every day with no problems.
Re: Ban Society
How many member do you have so far?
Just visited the Google Play Store.
It shows a total of 7 Nexus devices.
Five are shown as sold out.
Gert big display
I wonder what will happen if you press, just a tad too hard, in the middle of that huge screen?
Leave it UN! He ain't worth it.
"You may not care what UN says, but that has a shiny forecast of ending up with UN dragoons, TANSTAAFL and rocks being lobbed at the Cheyenne Mountain."
The UN should stick to local politics and leave the neighbours alone.
TANSTAAFL - There ain't no such thing as a free Launch - at least, not from the bottom of Earth's gravity well.
Just a rehearsal
Perhaps they can now get jobs handling guitars for a major US airline?
"It's a dinosaur-like head. We're not yet sure whether it is the expected dinosaur head, or something more exotic like a dragon. We have to make some more measurements first."
Probably drawn by somebody who spent ages on that platform waiting for the next train.
"he was upskirting through the glass floor some 342 metres up"
I expect we will see this verb within the covers of the OED any day now.
Thinking about it, the OED probably employs a full time neologism-spotter to keep an eye on El Reg
Isn't that an Oxy moron?
Re: Is there anywhere you can't put a Raspberry Pi?
Better wait for the next upgrade with a more flexible interface - the Raspberry Bi.
Re: Missing item...
No. the Teasmade is alive and well - but it has suffered at the hands of those "Design" idiots.
 shouldn't that be "Teasmaid" to suggest a parlourmaid lurking in the shadows in order to wait on you hand and foot?
All our Yesterdays
Thank you, thank you, thank you...
For mentioning one of my all-time favourite units - the nit.
If only you had found a way to include the stilb my happiness would have been complete.
They just don't make units like they used to back in my day.
Well, perhaps an OBE if you insist - nothing too ostentation you understand.
Perhaps a truly intelligent phone wouldn't put white text over a (mostly) white background - like on the front page link to this article?
Title? Is this the New Years Honours List?
I don't do Facebook, so tell me you lot.
Does a (possibly drunken) boast on FB automatically equate to a complete signed confession that you did the crime?
I suspect a lot of people have said a lot of silly things on FB - are they all to be taken as gospel?
If so, someone should pull the plug on the thing right now.
(Big Brother icon - because...)
It's all nonsense anyway.
They didn't cast anchors.
Wrought Iron was far more suitable..
Re:Timmay Skulls and stripes flag #
I do understand that many (most?) US citizens treat their flag as though it were a sacred icon, but that isn't by any means a universal view.
Most people are much more relaxed about their own national flags - it's not much more than a logo after all - and by extension it isn't a big thing if someone tries to irritate you by burning it, or 'mutilating' it.
Now if they had messed with the golden arches...
Won't someone think of the Elephant?
Doesn't she get any say in this?
"Known as The Great Dying and occurring at the end of the Permian period."
I don't suppose anyone called it that at the time, so who, exactly, is throwing this phrase around and what gives them naming rights?
Let's call it "The Great Right-Sizing".
Far too many species cluttering up the place... who needs these dumb dinosaurs anyway?
Lotus49 he say..
"Marrying someone does indeed imply a sexual relationship. Apart from anything, the marriage is not valid (in English law and the eyes of the Catholic Church) until it is consummated so having some sex is an absolute necessity for a married couple."
You may think so, but check with any Bride of Christ.
Creative accounting from Which?
"Which? found that 44 per cent of participants had never changed provider and 31 per cent hadn't done so in the last two years..."
Run that past me again?
Did Which? screw up, or did El Reg muff the data handling?
<Jimmy Edwards* icon 'cos somebody needs educating>
Re: A shame, but not a surprise
Spot on Neil,
It's a pocket sized (just) tablet & e-reader that works very well in that role.
To date I haven't made or received a phone call on mine, but I guess I could if push came to shove.
I can't think of anything else on the market which meets my requirements of
1 Pocket transportable.
2 Decent screen size.
3 Good battery life (with bells & whistles turned off).
I'm always willing to learn
"Being a school that is named after the great Matthew Flinders, we believe that it is within our responsibility to rise up and fight to reclaim this significant historical map that is rightfully ours."
I'm off to rename my house "The Royal Mint"....
That's my pension fund sorted.
(Jimmy Edwards icon because he would have been proud of their avarice)
Re: As a Lefty
On every other device that I've used as an ebook reader (6 of then to date) I've been able to turn the page by simply tapping the bottom of the page.
Many of them offer several choices on how to select 'Next Page'.
The Sony PRS-600 demands a specific 'gesture' (a swipe) which is just more fiddly to do.
None of my other devices are dedicated eReaders, (PDAs, MP4 players & Internet tablets) but each one manages this better than the PRS-600.
It's a good job that turning pages isn't an important function in a dedicated eReader.
Push the Envelope?
Dear Mr Lewis,
I know that in journalism it's important to grab your reader's attention - but using "push the envelope" in an article about scrotal surgery is quite definitely hitting below the belt.
She's faking it.
Call me a cynical terrapin if you like, but I suspect that most of this noise was made whilst sat in front of the telly, de-fluffing her navel etc etc.
She probably sees it all as a fight to the death with her neighbours and refuses to let them have the last moan.
Bullhorn - for obvious reasons.
Stop being so negative you lot!
This can only be a good thing.
When only one naughty person has all this data for sale he can ask for, and get, a very high price because he has a monopoly.
Now that lots of people in several countries will have access, the market will determine a fair price for your private data & no-one will be overcharged.
That's a good thing isn't it?
Re: Poor Sinked Ship
"Poor sinked ship #
By Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 30th October 2009 06:59 GMT
Of course they won't see what happened. After all the thip that was hit by the falling rocket sinked very quickly."
Thip?? So, after the impact, the ship developed a lisp to Starboard?
What is wrong with you people!
All this hassle about USians annoying habit of annexing terms like "Americans" - and NO-ONE has even mentioned "The World Series".
You're just not trying hard enough.
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