Feeds

* Posts by Sam 15

44 posts • joined 25 Oct 2009

Too late, Blighty! Samsung boffins claim breakthrough graphene manufacturing success

Sam 15

Re: The real difference

Actualised?

ACTUALISED!?!

The flames of hell are not hot enough for the likes of you Sonny Jim.

5
0

TONGUES OUT if you want to LICK Steve Jobs' BACKSIDE

Sam 15

You want old jokes?

Does everyone remember the other old joke?

"We found out why the stamps weren't sticking to the envelopes.

The glue is fine, but people are spitting on the wrong side."

1
0

Didn't get a Nook for Xmas? That's OK, hardly anyone else did, either

Sam 15

Nook like your Money

I've been chasing Nook for a refund since May 2013 - they apologise, promise to pay up, nothing happens.

Chase them again, rinse & repeat.

Not a firm I'd choose to deal with.

0
0

Oooh! My NAUGHTY SKIRT keeps riding up! Hello, INTERNET EXPLORER

Sam 15

"Did they specifically desire a sexually provocative 13 year old with budding breasts and a short skirt to be their mascot?"

Budding?

One of us needs a new monitor.

2
0

Snowden's email provider gave crypto keys to FBI – on paper printouts

Sam 15

Re: Outrageous

So...

If he invoked the 5th, he would thus confirm that he has committed criminal actions.

Is that a good result?

0
0

Virgin Galactic spaceship goes supersonic in second test flight

Sam 15

“We couldn’t be more delighted to have another major supersonic milestone under our belts as we move toward a 2014 start of commercial service,”

Should he be be putting milestones under his belt - supersonic or even stationary ones?

Glad to see he's moving forward towards 2014 though.

2
0

Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

Sam 15

Fuhrer's Tea-Time Tastes

Do you think Hitler would have been fond of a little red bush?

0
0

Barnes & Noble bungs Raspberry Pi-priced Nook on shelves

Sam 15
FAIL

Re: Scheduled to ship

I ordered one & got a whole series of emails.

Acknowledgement/ processing/ about to ship/ it has been shipped.... and 15 minutes after that last one, a final email to say it's all been a mistake, we haven't shipped anything and we're out of stock so please buy a different model at £69.

Clearly a company one can have confidence in.

1
0
Sam 15

Bargain Accessories

Hmm.

Buy a Nook Simple Touch for £29, including delivery.

But you will want a "Matte Screen Protector Kit " to preserve your valuable e-reader of course.

£16

0
0

US Navy blasts drones with ship-mounted LASER CANNON

Sam 15

Fog, Mist, Rain, Sea-spay?

It's impervious to all these right?

Where's that drawing board?

1
0

How I nearly sold rocket windows to the crazy North Koreans

Sam 15

Re: Mixed lessons from history?

Really?

I agree that China would have no wish to fight alongside NK if a war should start, but to jump from that to assume that China would fight against NK is an impossible leap.

Why on earth would they? What could they possibly gain from this?

Sit back and let everyone else exhaust themselves.

0
0

Lost CASSiE search moves up a gear

Sam 15

It's a job for International Rescue!

Light up Thunderbird 1 and get it over the search area ASAP.

David Miliband! Your hour has come.

0
0

Higgs hunt halts as CERN prepares LHC upgrades

Sam 15

"Higgs hunt halts"

If El Reg decides to move into radio, you're going to need specially trained stunt announcers for this stuff.

0
0

$195 BEEELLION asteroid approaching Earth

Sam 15

Re: Just wait for...

Let me get this right.

Your telling us that your mistress is mooning everyone?

That's harsh.

0
1

Curiosity photographs mysterious metal object on Martian rock

Sam 15

It's a thingy.

A fiendish thingy.

(Copyright Ringo Starr)

1
0

Schoolgirl's Hello Kitty catonaut soars to 93,000ft

Sam 15

Re: Hydrogen FTW

Obviously you did.

Do I have to spell it out for you?

0
0

Tablets aren't killing ereaders, it's clog-popping wrinklies - analyst

Sam 15

"In all seriousness, can anyone spend long periods reading from a tablet without suffering eye strain and associated headaches? Can many people even hold a proper tablet in their hands for extended periods without cramping?"

Yes. I do so every day with no problems.

HTH

HAND

0
1

Victims of 'revenge pr0n' sue GoDaddy, smut site

Sam 15

Re: Ban Society

Interesting idea...

How many member do you have so far?

0
0

Review: Google Nexus 4

Sam 15

Just visited the Google Play Store.

It shows a total of 7 Nexus devices.

Five are shown as sold out.

0
0

Panasonic pitches Ultra HD 4K x 2K monster tablet

Sam 15

Gert big display

I wonder what will happen if you press, just a tad too hard, in the middle of that huge screen?

0
0

Asteroid miners hunt for platinum, leave all common sense in glovebox

Sam 15

Leave it UN! He ain't worth it.

"You may not care what UN says, but that has a shiny forecast of ending up with UN dragoons, TANSTAAFL and rocks being lobbed at the Cheyenne Mountain."

The UN should stick to local politics and leave the neighbours alone.

TANSTAAFL - There ain't no such thing as a free Launch - at least, not from the bottom of Earth's gravity well.

0
0

Walmart workers filmed playing iPad frisbee

Sam 15

Just a rehearsal

Perhaps they can now get jobs handling guitars for a major US airline?

0
0

The Higgs boson search continues ... into ANOTHER dimension

Sam 15

"It's a dinosaur-like head. We're not yet sure whether it is the expected dinosaur head, or something more exotic like a dragon. We have to make some more measurements first."

Probably drawn by somebody who spent ages on that platform waiting for the next train.

0
0

Apple Store staircase flagged as Peeping Tom black spot

Sam 15

"he was upskirting through the glass floor some 342 metres up"

I expect we will see this verb within the covers of the OED any day now.

Thinking about it, the OED probably employs a full time neologism-spotter to keep an eye on El Reg

0
0

Watchdog bites bar over 'offensive' Facebook ad

Sam 15

"occasionally frequents"

Isn't that an Oxy moron?

2
0

'Attitudes to robot sex will change'

Sam 15

Re: Is there anywhere you can't put a Raspberry Pi?

Better wait for the next upgrade with a more flexible interface - the Raspberry Bi.

1
0

Ten... Bedroom Gadget Treats

Sam 15

Re: Missing item...

No. the Teasmade[1] is alive and well - but it has suffered at the hands of those "Design" idiots.

See http://www.amazon.co.uk/Swan-STM100-Teasmade-White/dp/B002T36P9G/ref=sr_1_1

[1] shouldn't that be "Teasmaid" to suggest a parlourmaid lurking in the shadows in order to wait on you hand and foot?

0
0

Asus Eee Pad Transformer Prime Android Tablet

Sam 15
Happy

All our Yesterdays

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

For mentioning one of my all-time favourite units - the nit.

If only you had found a way to include the stilb my happiness would have been complete.

They just don't make units like they used to back in my day.

0
0

2012: The year when smartphones become smart?

Sam 15

Well, perhaps an OBE if you insist - nothing too ostentation you understand.

Perhaps a truly intelligent phone wouldn't put white text over a (mostly) white background - like on the front page link to this article?

1
0

UK cops disciplined, sacked, quit over Facebook misdeeds

Sam 15
Big Brother

Title? Is this the New Years Honours List?

I don't do Facebook, so tell me you lot.

Does a (possibly drunken) boast on FB automatically equate to a complete signed confession that you did the crime?

I suspect a lot of people have said a lot of silly things on FB - are they all to be taken as gospel?

If so, someone should pull the plug on the thing right now.

(Big Brother icon - because...)

0
0

Reg hack cops a licking from the bosun's cat

Sam 15

It's all nonsense anyway.

They didn't cast anchors.

Too brittle.

Wrought Iron was far more suitable..

0
0

Iran displays video footage of captured US spy drone

Sam 15

Re:Timmay Skulls and stripes flag #

I do understand that many (most?) US citizens treat their flag as though it were a sacred icon, but that isn't by any means a universal view.

Most people are much more relaxed about their own national flags - it's not much more than a logo after all - and by extension it isn't a big thing if someone tries to irritate you by burning it, or 'mutilating' it.

Now if they had messed with the golden arches...

3
0

Japan, Russia in plan for elephant to birth CLONE MAMMOTH

Sam 15
Unhappy

Won't someone think of the Elephant?

Doesn't she get any say in this?

0
0

HELL ON EARTH: The Great Dying

Sam 15

"Known as The Great Dying and occurring at the end of the Permian period."

I don't suppose anyone called it that at the time, so who, exactly, is throwing this phrase around and what gives them naming rights?

Let's call it "The Great Right-Sizing".

Far too many species cluttering up the place... who needs these dumb dinosaurs anyway?

0
2

French bloke fined for failing to shag missus

Sam 15

Lotus49 he say..

"Marrying someone does indeed imply a sexual relationship. Apart from anything, the marriage is not valid (in English law and the eyes of the Catholic Church) until it is consummated so having some sex is an absolute necessity for a married couple."

You may think so, but check with any Bride of Christ.

2
1

IDLENESS sees Brits haemorrhage cash to mobe firms

Sam 15
Headmaster

Creative accounting from Which?

"Which? found that 44 per cent of participants had never changed provider and 31 per cent hadn't done so in the last two years..."

Run that past me again?

Did Which? screw up, or did El Reg muff the data handling?

<Jimmy Edwards* icon 'cos somebody needs educating>

2
1

Dell puts gun to Streak 5 tablet, pulls trigger

Sam 15
Unhappy

Re: A shame, but not a surprise

Spot on Neil,

It's a pocket sized (just) tablet & e-reader that works very well in that role.

To date I haven't made or received a phone call on mine, but I guess I could if push came to shove.

I can't think of anything else on the market which meets my requirements of

1 Pocket transportable.

2 Decent screen size.

3 Good battery life (with bells & whistles turned off).

1
0

Aussies demand Poms cough up first 'Australia' map

Sam 15
Headmaster

I'm always willing to learn

"Being a school that is named after the great Matthew Flinders, we believe that it is within our responsibility to rise up and fight to reclaim this significant historical map that is rightfully ours."

Right!

I'm off to rename my house "The Royal Mint"....

That's my pension fund sorted.

Sam

(Jimmy Edwards icon because he would have been proud of their avarice)

0
0

Samsung e-book reader range doubles in a day

Sam 15

Re: As a Lefty

On every other device that I've used as an ebook reader (6 of then to date) I've been able to turn the page by simply tapping the bottom of the page.

Many of them offer several choices on how to select 'Next Page'.

The Sony PRS-600 demands a specific 'gesture' (a swipe) which is just more fiddly to do.

None of my other devices are dedicated eReaders, (PDAs, MP4 players & Internet tablets) but each one manages this better than the PRS-600.

It's a good job that turning pages isn't an important function in a dedicated eReader.

Hang on...

Sam

0
0

Controversy rages over robot vasectomy reversal in Florida

Sam 15

Push the Envelope?

Dear Mr Lewis,

I know that in journalism it's important to grab your reader's attention - but using "push the envelope" in an article about scrotal surgery is quite definitely hitting below the belt.

Sam

0
0

Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

Sam 15
Megaphone

She's faking it.

Call me a cynical terrapin if you like, but I suspect that most of this noise was made whilst sat in front of the telly, de-fluffing her navel etc etc.

She probably sees it all as a fight to the death with her neighbours and refuses to let them have the last moan.

Bullhorn - for obvious reasons.

0
0

DVLA data powers likely to be abused by foreign officials

Sam 15
Happy

Stop being so negative you lot!

This can only be a good thing.

When only one naughty person has all this data for sale he can ask for, and get, a very high price because he has a monopoly.

Now that lots of people in several countries will have access, the market will determine a fair price for your private data & no-one will be overcharged.

That's a good thing isn't it?

0
0

Ares 1-X booster rocket dented in test flight

Sam 15
Thumb Up

Re: Poor Sinked Ship

"Poor sinked ship #

By Anonymous Coward Posted Friday 30th October 2009 06:59 GMT

Of course they won't see what happened. After all the thip that was hit by the falling rocket sinked very quickly."

Thip?? So, after the impact, the ship developed a lisp to Starboard?

0
0

WTF is this country called America?

Sam 15

What is wrong with you people!

All this hassle about USians annoying habit of annexing terms like "Americans" - and NO-ONE has even mentioned "The World Series".

You're just not trying hard enough.

0
0