* Posts by Archie The Albatross

31 posts • joined 23 Oct 2009

Brit pair deported from US for 'destroy America' tweet

Archie The Albatross
FAIL

Twitter

Twat tweets twite.

0
1

Japan, Russia in plan for elephant to birth CLONE MAMMOTH

Archie The Albatross
Happy

What next?

Sabre-toothed cats? It's all harmless fun until someone gets eaten.

2
0

MPs: This plan for proper navy carriers and jets is crazy!

Archie The Albatross
Pint

Hurrah!

And so say all of us!

0
0
Archie The Albatross
Pirate

"Globally deployable".......?

"Globally deployable"? Really? As long as no-one minds if we overfly their airspace.

The point that seems to be being missed by several country miles is that whilst the aircraft type is important, surely the effectiveness of the asset as a whole is more important.

A carrier, even our little ski-jump jobs, with a full air group embarked, is a far more effective and quickly deployable solution to a wider range of scenarios than trying arrange overflight or base facilities with the nearest friendly state.

Yes, Harrier is/was quite elderly and on the small side but more than made up for that in manoeuvrability and operational flexibility.

Tornado is past it, indeed was never really up to it from the start. Too low and too slow.

Typhoon is fast and pretty. See the shiny-shiny, don't look at the price tag.

Shall we discreetly ignore Tornado's unfortunate proclivity for burying itself in the scenery for no (publicly admitted) reason. Along with Typhoon's galactic costs, (built, re-designed, re-built, re-built again properly, still NFU)?

Probably for the best.

As for politicians ability to understand even the basics of effective defence requirement, forget it. It ain't happening any time soon. The present collection of drones, chair warmers and oxygen thieves occupying the Palace of Westminster seem to regard defence as an optional extra.

Excuse me now whilst I go and chew the carpet.

4
4

US decommissions massive Cold War nuke

Archie The Albatross
Boffin

Ectually.....

Nukes are neither ignited nor detonated, they are "initiated".

I understand it stings rather more than somewhat.

1
0

Lost memory stick had 87 NHS patients' info unencrypted

Archie The Albatross
Big Brother

A suggestion to the Information Commissioners Office

On Medical Students

We have tried telling them, we have tried not-quite-patronising interactive training with a shiny certificate at the end of it, we have cajoled, coaxed, threatened and beseeched them not to remove unencrypted patient data from NHS premises.

We have warned them of the possible consequences of failure as this is not just another Trust Policy but the law of the land!

All to no avail.

Medical students tend to regard absolute rules and laws as, at best, guidelines, applicable to the common herd of course, but not to them personally.

If Healthcare Trusts are to be fined for the idiocy of students, then same Trust should have the right to Beat Them With a Stout Stick.

It will give the F1's on A&E rotation something to practice on. (And possibly learn a valuable lesson?)

Yes, yes, I'm taking my medication now............

5
0

Peaches Geldof explains Kubrick's 2001

Archie The Albatross
Paris Hilton

Who the hell is Peaches Geldof? →

"And why should anyone care?" - That's rather the point.

As an aid to translation, think a slightly (very slightly) less vacuous Paris Hilton.

..........................Now get off my land!

1
0
Archie The Albatross
Happy

Oh good!

So now we know.......

0
0

Phone-hack backlash BBC in embarrassing headline gaffes

Archie The Albatross
Go

Yes....

Yes it is.....all of the above.

5
0

'NATO RESTRICTED': The lowest possible classification

Archie The Albatross
Thumb Up

No, it's OK...

ECHELON is a mutual snooping structure, allowing us to spy on them, spying on us, spying on them, spying on us, spying on them.............. Et cetera, repeat until bored.

0
0

MYSTERY of huge Canadian chicken-shed EXPLOSION

Archie The Albatross
Go

I recognise....

a firepower demonstration when I see one!

The little feathery bastards want another crack at world domination!

They just never got over not being dinosaurs any more.

Evolution can be a bitch.

P.S. All chickens are evil.

1
0

US Army releases new vid of Judge Dredd computer smart-rifle

Archie The Albatross
Alert

You appear to be confusing...

collateral damage (accidental casualties caused by mis-directed fire, blast boundary effects or malfunctioning ordnance), with a war crime,(Israeli Defence Force soldiers deliberately shooting unarmed civilians).

I take your point though and share your worries, the usual US Rules of Engagement (shoot anything that moves, then shoot it some more, then check identifying markings/IFF, then say sorry) do not fill me with confidence.

2
0

Nokia talks Pure typographic cobblers

Archie The Albatross
WTF?

When I were a lad.........

studying graphic design (they still called it Commercial Art in those days but we'd only just stopped carving into rock), only the Fine Arts kids did the "talking total bollocks" module.

DTP has much to answer for, curse you Fontographer!

5
0

The Bayeux Tapestry archiving model

Archie The Albatross
Happy

Quite so

The Normans despised the French.

A fine tradition which we continue to this day!

3
0

Libya fighting shows just how idiotic the Defence Review was

Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Procurement or Procuring?

Defence procurement in the UK has been an unspeakable mess for as long as anyone cares to remember, with feather-bedded contracts given to produce badly designed, barely usable equipment. For example the SA80 idea had been around since since the late 1940s but only finally entered service in the mid '80s. A 40 year development for something that was much worse than the weapon it replaced! (Although the optical is sight quite good).

On the other hand, TSR2 was killed early in development even though it was streets ahead of anything else at the time.

Royal Navy carriers (remember those?) had 3D RADAR systems in 1968 but not in 1982 and probably still don't.

Buying suitable kit at a bargain price from a willing overseas supplier isn't a new idea. In 1855 the War Office purchased a job-lot of cavalry sabres (made in 1796) from Germany to equip heavy dragoons for the Crimean War. Admittedly, the technology didn't go out of date quite so quickly in those days but you take my point.

Just in case you were wondering, no, I don't think Lewis Page is always 100% right but he's usually 94% right and that's good enough.

I speak as one who, like Lewis, (same service but a generation earlier) has been there, done that and have the scars & medals to prove it.

Our service personnel deserve better but continue to deliver, despite the efforts of politicians, civil servants and Very Senior Officers (who should know better).

4
2

Capitalism killed the Martians, suggests Hugo Chavez

Archie The Albatross
WTF?

Hugo if you want to....

Nice to see comrade Chavez posting on the Reg. Mad as a bag of bats!

He seems not to have noticed that the Reg and it's many attendant correspondents feel free to point and laugh and politicians of ALL species. Not just a particular genus.

Although those arising from questionable democratic processes (George W Bush, Muammar Gaddafi, our own dear Hugo) are usually the more amusing.

(Nice day for a barbecue, I need the flame).

3
0

Fukushima one week on: Situation 'stable', says IAEA

Archie The Albatross
Boffin

Because

They had just been hit by a magnitude 8.9 earthquake and it's attendant tsunami.

That's why.

That boy at the back! Wake up!

8
0
Archie The Albatross
Thumb Up

Cheer up Lewis!

Think how p*ssed off the BBC and their fellow doom mongers are, because the sky is still stubbornly refusing to fall.

My only fear is that they will put Robert Peston on the story, then we really will be doomed!

Seriously though, thank you for what appears to be the only objective coverage of this matter.

26
1

Eurofighter Typhoon: It's EVEN WORSE than we thought

Archie The Albatross
Thumb Down

Really?

TV not working?

BBC News offline?

Newsagent shut?

Never mind, go back to your Grauniad.

4
2

Dixons prices up Motorola Xoom for Blighty

Archie The Albatross
FAIL

I'm not....

prepared to pay this much for an iPad.

Am I likely to pay this much for a me-too-not-quite-an-iPad?

No. Not very likely.

This thing needs to be no more than £300 if Dixons (or indeed anyone) want the volume sales.

Must try harder 4/10

0
0

Airport face-scanning robots switched off

Archie The Albatross

It's obvious really....

Derren Brown does their sales presentations!

2
0
Archie The Albatross
Joke

It won't work

Because clearly, these devices don't know sh*t!

6
0

Mexican woman gets litigious on Top Gear's ass

Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Irony, pronounced i-r-o-n-y

This is the problem when you understand the words of a language but not necessarily the contextual meaning.

Combine with the Great British Sense of Humour, (which can be impenetrable to Daily Mail readers, let alone foreigners), and further amusement is inevitable!

Cue much harrumphing from the usual quarters, whilst in the background you hear lawyers booking an extra holiday. Possibly ordering a new car too.

0
1

Gatwick Airport security swoops on 3-inch rifle

Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Definition of "Numpty"

Originally a Glaswegian (certainly Scottish) term to describe one not possessed of the brains they were born with. An idiot, a fool, a dullard, a dolt.

It most certainly applies in this case, I think.

0
0
Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Rant alert

These would be urban operations where you don't need to fire from cover at a right-handed corner.

Did no-one notice that you can only use this thing off the right (as in: not left) shoulder? I for one have been happy to put up with brass bouncing of my head! (Yes, it was an SLR, long, long ago).

No argument about SUSAT, just put a decent rifle under it, say H&K G3 and life could be much happier, even though ammunition scale will be heavier.

As I noted before, Nimrod class defence technology.

0
0
Archie The Albatross
Pirate

SA80, Nimrod class British technology!

Just remove the magazine, take a firm grasp of the barrel and swing hard.

5
0
Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Aaaarrrggghh....!

Just when you thought airport security couldn't be any more ridiculous than it already is!

Where do they find these idiots and why do they give them jobs?

One can only assume they struggle with such polysyllabic words as "reasonable" and "proportionate".

FYI guys, a firearm is a weapon capable of discharging a projectile that is propelled by gases produced by a rapidly burning, or instantaneously decomposing chemical compound.

Hence "fire", the "arm" bit is a contraction of "Armament".

Three inch long inert pieces of plastic are rarely, if ever, any of these things.

So now you know.........

8
0

Nick Cave smashes speed camera with Jag

Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Good Point

I hope they handle with care.

(Now feel the need to listen"Burn" by The Cure, whilst wearing a long black coat).

2
0
Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Well done that man!

And they say people have no community spirit these days, although maybe you should have dropped the kids off first Nick?

Otherwise, jolly well done!

Keep up the good work.

2
1

Early adopters bloodied by Ubuntu's Karmic Koala

Archie The Albatross
Boffin

Kalm Koala

Upgraded from Jaunty on my (quite old) Dell laptop with not even the vaguest hint of a problem.

Hope the rest of you find out how good it can be really soon!

0
0

Historian slams 'absolutely crazy' UK time zone

Archie The Albatross
Pirate

Wrong again

The UK is in it's correct time zone. France and Spain should actually be in the same time zone as the UK, they move themselves ahead an hour just to annoy us.

0
0

Forums