Lemon Aid leaves bad taste

Why are seemingly normal, rational people unwilling to accept the fact that the fourth revision of this telephone a dud? They wouldn't accept a defective bar, television, etc but when it comes to a telephone not working they toss all their normal reactions out of the window and get defensive?

Many, including myself, stated you couldn't fix the antenna problem with software and now even some of the Apple supporters now accept Apple has failed (they have already admitted they have an 'issue').

But these people still proclaim they are satisfied.

Maybe I expect people to honour their word, their 'commitments', their warranties and had I any product that failed in such a spectacular fashion I would (and have done) bypass the supplier and sue. I have received two new cars in different settlement, a replacement $1749 bicycle and several monetary awards.

Apple has also treated customers with disdain and arrogance accusing them of not being intelligent enough to know how to hold these things.

Unless people stand up for their rights companies will simply continue cheat them of their due.

Meanwhile we await the pronouncement from the Lemon Factory as to what they are willing to do, without being directed by a court.

The Money-back conn

Apple stated refunds would be made for all iCrap 4 devices returned in working order within 30 days.

Then Jobs got stunned and promised a software fix. Presumably a lot of the Apple faithful retained their handsets after being told by Him that they had the fix.

Now that The Fix has found to be an abysmal failure, a simple ruse to fool customers, what if iCrap 4 owners who hung in over 30 days awaiting The Fix now want a refund?

Can they get the refund?

Gods only speak and followers are supposed to listen

The <snip> Apple's senior antenna expert told ... </snip> explains everything, subjects simply do NOT talk to Gods; and even the Gods listen to Californian Job.

Hope the guy sent CJ a memo to protect his nether end with paper.

Software patch doesn't improve poor RF levels

Perhaps readers who actually though a mechanical defect could be fixed by a software patch should take a look at: < http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F6Qzf4foUI >.

Old hands in he RF business knew already that software doesn't fix Lemon antennae.

And for Job's next con ...

Lemon Aid fails

Perhaps readers who actually though a mechanical defective could be fixed by a software patch should take a look at: < http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F6Qzf4foUI >.

I just had a thought. If Icrap 4 owners bought yellow tinted glasses they wouldn't be able to see the yellow tint on the camera images or even the yellow patches on the glass screens. The green blob seen on images also turns. blue.

The glasses are as much of a fix as the Lemon Air patch is.

The UK will comfortably sink in Lake Superior ...

yet Canada, which includes the aforementioned lake, can provide ADSL to remote Arctic villages as well as communities in remote locations?

Even VietNam gets ADSL to the smallest communities by fibre optic, and in the mountainous areas they have deployed WiMax.

Maybe if they pulled the troops out of Blair's wars the government could afford the investment.

Idiot lights to keep idiots happy ...

so called idiot lights because they're for idiots who don't know how to read or understand analogue meters. No doubt the increased height will impress the viewers even more. Simple things for simple minds.

Now for Job's next sleight of hand ...

Why should The Register get an invite?

The Reg, along with Gizmodo, Intomobile, etc., are disbelievers. You question the Gospel of California Job, you challenge, nay even mock the words of Job.

Only the anointed, the unquestioning, rabble of publicity supplicants are permitted to attend at the Church of Apple to receive The Word.

Which is why we all read The Register so we can learn The Truth. Keep up the good work

And who collects the bribes??

In the '80's dodgy military deals always required bribes.

Things haven't changed much over the years, either. < http://www.againstcorruption.org/countrydetailsAll.asp?countryid=87 >.

Isn't it amazing how countries with high poverty can always put together millions of dollars to keep the military happy whilst many more millions live in abject poverty.

Office 2003 Rules!

Many of our corporate high-end laptops came with Office 2007 pre-loaded. Our support people were requested by most of this user group to remove 007 and put good old comfortable 003 back on their units.

There are simply too many features in Office for them to be properly employed by most users and buying the latest and great version irrespective of how 'feature rich' they may be is wasted money if they will not be used.

Lemon aid needed for the gullible

Those gullible people who have bought 'California Dreaming' Jobs lies need help. Just like the owners of runaway Toyotas received.

Jobs and Apple have both lied/misled their audience. Jobs has a fiduciary duty to his shareholders so claiming to be 'stunned', even if this is his actual mental condition, by saying the antenna hardware problem can be fixed by a software patch. What about the short-circuiting micro SIM holder?

Read the Consumer Report on this Lemon product: < http://blogs.consumerreports.org/electronics/2010/07/apple-iphone-4-antenna-issue-iphone4-problems-dropped-calls-lab-test-confirmed-problem-issues-signal-strength-att-network-gsm.html >. CR is a respected organisation with deep pockets.

Strange how quiet Jobs has become since this plague of defects has surfaced. Obviously he has no answer - yet - and the longer he hides behind his corporate security saying nothing the more credibility he loses with customers and shareholders.

Jobs has demonstrated how cheap he can be by refusing to send out complimentary plastic bumpers, claimed to be worth USD$1 at the factory door. Of course these rubber bands don't enhance the Lemon 4's appearance NEITHER does it fix the SIM holder or the other internal defects.

So which government will be the first to strike a blow for their gullible citizens?

Another agency for the chopping block?

Ad supervision should be limited to accuracy of product claims. Besides this old queen is REALLY old, and dead, so no false product claims are involved.

All these nanny agencies should be either eliminated or have their powers reduced, along with all those Waana-be-a-Plod community whatevers. No wonder government crippling the taxpayers of the UK.

Lucky he didn't get charged with hacking

The leaky British security system continues - remember Blunt, Philby, MacLean, Burgess, Cairncross, Straight, Rothschild, Liddell, Daly, etc?

If this luckless guy did actually purloin files you would have thought the government would check these characters when they leave their offices. Guess they couldn't prove he actually hacked a computer.

Maybe the government should pay them a living wage and remove the temptation for extra income.

At least he has the opportunity to write his memoirs so he has some money when he gets out of jail!

How many iFlawd warrant a recall?

The infamous iCrap 4 has a few problems:

(1) Apple admits software defects;

(2) The antenna is mechanically defective;

(3) Picture are yellow tinted;

(4) Batteries catch fires;

(5) Connectors burn and melt;

(6) Unbreakable glass breaks and scratches;

(7) SIM shorts to carrier;

(8) Yellow colouring on glass;

(9) Green blob/spot on camera, in the centre;

(10) Proximity detector cuts calls.

Would 15 iFlaws be a reasonable number to trigger a recall?

FCC non-compliance may cause RECALL

Apple is obviously applying ICrap 4 App principles to the Apple forums. It will rebound against Apple. Obviously they don't accept that honesty id the best policy. All the censorship is achieving is to exacerbate the problem as people will figure that Apple is trying to hifr something.

Consumer Reports carries a lot of weight in the US, far more than Which? in the UK, and CR's negative reports is headline news all over the US this morning. Apple shares were down over 3% so the great unwashed public knows what is happening.

Toyota found out, at great expense, cheating the American public can cost big time.

Now it's Job's turn. Every handset requires FCC type-approval and undoubtedly the Radio Frequency defects are likely to take so long to recalculate and issue a patch is because fiddling with such equipment requires approval by the FCC.

Obviously the manufactured product defects can't be properly remedied, unless free bumpers are handed out, without a recall. Then they have to comply with all the other regulatory authorities in other parts of the world.

Hopefully one of these government agencies will require ALL the defects be fixed.

Another Google Android challenge for Apple

How can Apple implement a similar scheme when all up-loadable apps have to pass muster with the Apple Porn Gatekeepers?

The power that will accrue to Android by letting users design their own Apps is inestimable. Smart fellows, those Google guys!

What do Ford and Apple have in common?

Both Ford Motors and Apple share defective lead products. The Ford Edsel < http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bc/58_edsel_pacer.jpg > was the joke of the automotive world, just as Apples iCrap 4 is a much-hyped engineering failure.

Jobs/Apple lied, more than once, trying to act 'surprised' his software engineers got it wrong. He also lied about the antennae being defective.

Now a respected organisation, the US Consumer Reports, has confirmed the defects which must be the biggest gauntlet that Jobs/Apple is likely to see this side of government.

But watch the Apple Lemmings continue flocking to the nearest iCrap store to buy yet another failed Apple product. Truly unbelievable! I think the old adage "There's one born every minute" is wrong when it comes to buying these defective things.

By my calculation 1000000000 minutes (or suckers) works out to be 1000000000 / 60 = 16666667 hours ; and 16666667 / 24 = 694444.5 days and these 694444.5 / 365 = 1902.6 years for the a minimum total number of Lemmings who have wasted their money on these things.

Jobs claims to have sold over 50-million iCrap phones < http://www.tipb.com/2010/04/08/50-million-iphones-sold-35-million-ipod-touches-85-million-iphone-os-devices/ >. 1,902.6 times 5 = 104, 643 years in which idiots need to have been born, and assuming they had limitless lifetimes.

Wow!

Balmer's mind is clouded

The only cloud related to this is Balmer's mind.

MS has 'lost' data previously (mail) and gives Plod instructions have to circumvent security (see Cryptome).

Why should MS be entrusted with storage? Or possibly anyone - unless you employ multiple back-ups and TrueCrypt? Always remember the Patriot Act which permits the US Government to access any US-based computer without a warrant.

Too ashamed to sue?

Obviously the deaths of this product presaged the defects in the Icrap series of telephones with batteries burning, cases melting culminating in their latest fiasco of bars and antennae that don't work. iCrap 4 still maintains the self-combustibility that is the heritage of the Apple communicators. Remember they had monitor problems, too?

Obviously Apple is too ashamed to sue TimeCapsule for abusing their logo, Apple has never made gravestones even though they manufactured the 'bodies'.

May they R.I.P.

Just how incompetent can Plod get?

Judges are usually busy brown nosing Plod and praising them to Hell and back, ignoring their 'exaggerations' so for one of them to say "I'm quite used to incompetence but this really takes the biscuit. ... this is a disgrace. Nothing surprises me now about the lapses and incompetence of prosecutions." REALLY highlights the problem.

Pity it wasn't in Canada or the USA where time limits apply to these situations.

Most likely Plod was too busy harassing photogs under Sections 43 and 44 whilst they took pictures of military installations called castles and owned by the National Trust.

Let's hope the new government gets a grip on them.

Labour government cowards: is new one better?

The agreement under which British citizens can be extradited to the USA not only is ONE-SIDED, on favour of the Americans, naturally, but their part of the agreement has NEVER BEEN RATIFIED so only UK citizens are deported, under unequal TERMS whilst US citizens are essentially immune to deportation except for the most extreme crimes.

This new, wimpy, Britain, made so by Blair, et al should tell the new government ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Either the UK prosecutors should get off the pot and charge the man, if he didn't breach a British law and tell the Americans that until the agreement is ratified with provisions that nothing will be done in any matter.

Besides, if a government is so inept that it can't manage or secure it's computer systems the blame ;lies with them if someone happens inside their data.

Can ANYONE be Trusted with our personal data?

Given the governmental abuse of data in many countries, within and without the EU, NO data should be permitted to cross any border without disclosure to and the specific permission of the data subject.

Even within the UK we have idle trolls who access our data our prurient curiosity entrusted to the government and this data, as well health records, end up in the public domain.

There is absolutely no need for all this data gathering in the first place and joining the databases together inly adds to the wrong doing.

Canada, for one, has a government policy of segmenting data, so that authorised users can only access what is pertinent to their job requirements. Data is spread between the national and provincial governments increasing the protection against illegal viewing. Mind you this can reach extremes where services cannot be obtained without data from both levels of government.

Clearly the U.S. government is the most prolific gatherer of mundane information with the UK not being a too distant second. I reside in an authoritarian country, complete with ID cards, bur individuals data is far less than that of other countries.

The danger of templates!

When our company prepares data templates we always fill variables with a code that prevents posting.

Until an form/posting is edited with the code substituted the posting programs prevent transmission.

How many obits have been published before the subject actually died?

Apple power blocks are special!

Unlike the cheap power blocks available all over, undoubtedly Apple blocks are different ... they catch fire or cause fire in the products to which they ate connected.

The cheaper blocks are super reliable and conform to all required international standards.

Maybe Apple will take a patent out on how to set screws - all their slots aligned in a single direction. Or how about a patent on the plug pins? Apple is a patent happy entity whose time would be better spent on figuring out why their products have such poor safety performance.

Apples 'security' continues to leak

Jobs will be getting worked up again about 'theft' of his products. Fortunately he won;t be getting his local gendarmes to do anything about this product pre-release.

Likely it is genuine as the PCB has an Apple logo and obviously is not a development component.

Sounds like Tawkon must be as reliable as ...

the Apple bar software.

So where's the problem?

The EU ... privacy a joke

Once again the EU bends over and surrenders to the U.S. of A. It is high time E.U. stood up to this world bully. If the U.S. wants to search data, the EU can do it on their behalf and hand over the screened data.

But no, down with EU citizens privacy, and hand over everything and 'trust' the U.S. who even breaches their Constitution and spies on their citizens.

Another example of 'stunned'?

The word 'stunned' is what best describes the Apple hardware designers.

After a series of fires emanating from several models they have marketed in recent years you would have thought Apple would have designed in current limiting components.

Guess Jobs can't fix this latest with another software patch! And as they have already absolved the iCrap owner of fault that leaves only one entity ... Apple.

Maybe they should get HTC to design the iCrap5. They never seem to have fires or bad antennae.

Dumb US Patents System

Most people call this shopping, As others have pointed out Apple is just trolling looking foe future income. Many of the things described are available, and implemented, already.

Given Apples prowess with Radio Frequency techniques and antennae/aerials it will never work.

And what if two or more people are using their iCraps co-located in a supermarket aisle? How will the shelf technology be able to direct suggested recipes to the correct iCrap device?

Obviously another Jobs wet dream.

Next they will be patenting gestures.

They can still harass snappers on tourist buses

Unfortunately the trustworthy Dixon of Dock Green perception of police was trashed when Blair and Brown decided they had a better idea of law and order.

It's my experience in rhe U.S.A., Canada and the U.K. that when it comes to justifying their actions most become liars that would make Pinocchio's nose look like a dimple. The whole bunch should be book authors.

I was visiting London when one of those Wanna-be -a-plod-characters (community something) approached me and said, in some form of English, I was breaking the law taking pictures. I responded, in Chinese, which was met with the response of 'bloody foreigner' as he wandered off. Obviously this frustrated ersatz version of authority was your typical little nothing, sporting some badge of authority.

These encounters do nothing for tourism.

At least foot bound snappers are protected but the Plods still have those topless tourist buses to harass. Likely they will have insufficient guts to take on a bus load of people.

If people are dumb enough to buy a ...

defective cell phone, there must be a good chance that some of the dummies would buy a bling covered defective telephone.

Double dumb.

User comes first

In any process the end user is the most important. A large US air reservation system sent teams around to study how end users did their work and, after correlating the accumulated data, they re-did their user interface, idiosyncrasies (strange - to IT people - work flow processes) and when it was rolled out it proved to be so very successful it increased use.

The CEO was correct: make IT departments SERVE the end user than vice versa.

So how can they REALLY detect copyrighted transmissions.

My company prepares databases pertaining to air travel for distribution to travel agents most of whom leave their computers running overnight for logistical reasons.

Our database products are distributed as Torrent transmissions. Does the brainless Mandleson-sponsored act mean that all our UK clients will be branded as illegal downloaders? Will they even try to identify the actual Torrent content?

Many businesses deploy large data content as Torrent traffic so there will be quite a few false accusations as government panders to a failing business model employed by media companies.

Post it on the Labour Exchange website

It is a natural to post it on government employment agency websites.

The UK government really needs to chat to the Canadian and Ontario governments who have been on-line for years. All manner of services, including driving and car licence issuance and fine payment collection, are made available on-line AND at public computer kiosks throughout the country.

These are frequently supplemented by (free) 1-800 numbers which means the Canadian public can minimise contact with the ever decreasing number of civil servants.

Can you explain even the most tenuous link this has too IT?

Who really cares about an overpaid Hollywood air-head?

It appears The Reg is pandering to the lowest common denominators, unless you consider the digital drunk monitor to warrant this piece.

Even Jobs lies are more pertinent and interesting, inasmuch he can doublespeak about the iCrap4.