Stevie, boy, who has the ...

sharpest programming skills for iOS?

Obviously, not you.

P.S. When will the antenna be fixed, properly? How's the white version coming?

Samples by willpower!

This must be the politically correct phrase for masturbation.

For Roman Catholics it must mean growing hair on their palms.

How can you prove the integrity of the evidence?

I have taken pictures for use in court procedures and have always been interrogated, under oath, as to whether the material is question has been in my care and custody since the pictures were taken.

This required my attending the developing laboratory and visually tracking the negative as it was developed, dried and subsequently printed.

How can Plod attest to the safe custody and it's originality if the camera operator has his property purloined?

More bent evidence?

Silence ...

is golden.

Better to say nothing until the matter is resolved. That's why lawyers are called 'mouthpieces'.

What's the difference between bad batteries in Japan and elsewhere?

Japan is extremely consumer pro-active and has resulted in making Apple and Jobs bow to the inevitable - the replacement of defective products.

Japan wasn't alone in experiencing 'irregular battery behaviour', Google will produce results from all over describing Apple battery failure.

But the difference in Apples response is telling. ONLY the Japanese have had a recall, other countries with less effective consumer protection have had ... dick... nada ... zip.

Typical Jobs; typical Apple.

P.S. iPhans please click the red box below, right.

Ouch! UK pricing takes the icing off the cake

Given the Lilliputian size of the UK compared to either Canada or the U.S.A. it is hard to fathom just how carriers justify airtime charges.

It is hard to compare UK prices with other countries as tax is never clearly stated as being included or extra.

The carrier could easily kill the success of the product unless the airtime is carefully priced.

Will they be offering the standard Samsung or adding it's own 'features' that will only serve to delay upgrades?

Throughout the engagement Deloitte ...

"Throughout the engagement Deloitte ... enabled the programme to develop an integrated, multi-disciplinary team who were highly motivated, professional and delivery-focused." (Who never finished the job)

What a lot of codswallop - the only success they achieved was extracting unjustified fees from the tax payer.

Wow! Britain is seeking equality at last?

In reality, British subjects should be tried for offences committed from British territory. Other countries wouldn't dream of handing their citizens over to a foreign country with, perhaps, a few very serious offences.

The U.S. has gone overboard treating the whole world as it's legal territory. Hacking is hardly an offence that justifies deportation. The alleged McKinnon offence was only possible because the U.S. couldn't batten down it's computers. Some technical giant, some technical prowess.

The U.S. sentencing regime is extreme, even ignoring the death penalty, and frequently sentences are totally disproportionate to the offences committed. The U.S. imprisons more, proportionately, than any other 'civilised' nation.

This was another effort by the notorious letch Blunkett who also had the Identity Card brainwave and couldn't keep his ministerial appointments because of repeated personal failings.

The seemingly parentless kids are noise enough, thank you

As someone who takes at least one long haul trip each month I can attest to the fact there are already enough noise generators on board what with all those seemingly abandoned children who derive some sort of pleasure from running up and down the aisles, screaming awakening sleeping passengers, knocking arms whose attached hand is often carrying a glass filled with liquid and causing the long suffering cabin crew additional hassles during trolley service.

Then someones sweethearts discover the light and call buttons to complete the cabin crews work days.

I have seemingly developed quite an effective 'angry stare' technique that gives all but the most reckless child second thoughts on passing my seat. In the event this fails, my feet are equally adept at causing little Johnny to trip with similar effect.

If an adult passenger made proportionately as much noise as these unruly kids they would be restrained and confined to their seats.

All we need in the cabin, to go along with those little bastards who make a habit of hanging over the back of the seat in front of you are a bunch of adults shouting in to cell phones describing the cloud formations the aircraft is passing.

Cell communications should be limited text messaging only and the femto cell emitting a 'vibrate only' instruction to further minimise additional sounds.

The only relief we can expect is that the charges will be so high that only the expense sheet gang in Business or First classes will be persuaded to call.

Couldn't have happened to a more obnoxious person

Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle is a racist nut bar and deserves all the harassment she can get.

She wants to deport Mexicans and their American-born children - who have citizenship.

Treat an employee fairly and he'll most likely return the complement

This is standard American bullshit litigation. HP can't have it both ways, especially since HO found there was no merit in the sexual allegations. As for expense accounts, senior executives often use them as personal slush funds usually with the acquiescence of the company.

Did Hurd even complete his expenses or was it his recently retired assistant?

A friend was sued in similar grounds a few years back by a large U.S. travel technology company. In his response, acting as his own lawyer, he listed all the knowledge he had with respect to the claim effectively nullifying the complaint - court matters being in the public domain - then the Plaintiff claimed 'abuse of privilege'. The case was later withdrawn..

The HP board should read the companies founders principles of business and treat employees with respect.

You can't trust government!

Many countries are playing this game, with Britain adopting the most extreme position - Blair's password or prison option. Carrying a video also seems to keep border Plods satisfied.

It's best to use TrueCrypt with a minimal OS as the cover with a few innocuous notes and the good OS and data securely locked up.

Cell phones should have all data stored on n encrypted computer with all registers cleaned out along with the SIMM. Contact numbers are best stored on the SIMM, too. The cell should be powered down for at least 30 minutes before Customs as data lingers in memory.

Inserting a very small piece of paper over the battery terminals will often persuade them the battery is flat.

Hopefully this action will prevail - remember anyone within the borders of the U.S. of A. enjoys the protection of The Constitution, not just American citizens.

Rats are the ...

to jump a sinking ship.

SS Microsoft?

No need to destroy what's left of rural Britain

The electricity network has done a wonderful job of ruining the vistas of Britain.

To get a paltry 2 Mbyte network signal can easily be achieved by using ploughed-in fibre cable or disguised antennae. There is absolutely no need for yet more visible masts. Canada has thousands of miles of ploughed fibre cable, what's the problem in the UK, apart from BT's mindset?

Has anyone even considered co-siting cell and data antennae?

If you want to see a terribly located cell tower, take a ferry from Athens/Piraeus to the Milos islands and as you pass The Temple of Sounio there is a illuminated cell tower overlooking the temple. A worse location would be hard to find. Thank you, Vodafone!

The Register is extending my ...

French vocabulary.

No limits to the usefulness of The Reg.

Canada has a solution

Some Canadian emergency vehicles are fitted with a 'horn', more like an acoustic vibrator, that actually shakes vehicles and motorcycles which, together with the accompanying low frequency tone, can break through these mobile acoustic sound chambers.

The effect on humans will certainly return the zombies to reality.

This is nothing ...

Wait until the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement is in action. See: < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Counterfeiting_Trade_Agreement >.

For some of the nitty gritty read: < http://www.michaelgeist.ca/content/view/4829/125/ >. Not very nice.

Just what the Pentagon wants. Don't get suckered by them!

Seems like the Pentagon's plan for undermining Assange is getting some help.

Wake up, guys, Wikileaks scored a major hit against the Pentagon, so don't get taken in.

NASA is to be congratulated for not being U.S. centric

No one has the corner on ideas, even though Jobs might think so, and NASA, in it's wisdom of being open to all comers with good ideas - Canada with it's tried and tested Canadarm as well as the Dextre - is making another smart move.

Now, from Blighty, the Cornish RoboThespian to join other Cornish innovations which include the game of rugby, originated in Penzance; one of the earliest water closets (WC) at Arwenack Manor, Falmouth; discovery of substance manaccanite, at Manaccan in 1790, now known as titanium; the first passenger carrying steam engine known locally as the puffing devil at Penydaren; perfecting the process of refining soap (Pears).

My personal Cornish favourites are The Pastie and The Cream Tea.

Labour's wasteful self-stimulation

These revelations simply demonstrate a complete disregard for the tax payer, an arrogance that simply highlights their mealy-mouthed speeches and how false their claims to be looking after the less fortunate in society were.

No tax money should be used to shape opinion and all publicly funded opinion poles should be published with 3o days of their completion.

Few endeavours such as this can be achieved at a lower cost by using civil servants.

Why the surprise? Not every country can depend on 'service' industries

The countries who are resisting the onslaught of the Wall Street financial frauds are those who actually manufacture products.

Britain's manufacturing industries are a miserable scrap of what they used to be. How many screws are actually made in the UK? How many ball-bearings?

China, Korea, TaiWan and other Asian countries aren't suffering as much as the Western importing countries the difference being is that they are self-sufficient and have a manufacturing base that exports.

In Europe Germany is a shining example. In North America - hardly anything.

The fallacy that manufacturing products overseas is 'cheap' is a fallacy as the importers mark the goods up so much (living adjacent to China lets me see the real product cost), there is a social cost - lost jobs and depletion of foreign reserves.

Britain's oil legacy has been squandered by propping up failed government programs.

A complete re-think of many countries goals, and the effects of the WTO need implementing.

Easy, uncontrolled, access leads to abuse

Thw data holder should also be the gatekeeper to the data vault.

Few people can be trusted not to use abuse database information and since this data contains personal information the fewer people who have direct access, including police, the better.

Government cannot be trusted.

The fault is that of the data holders and web site operators

I have always regarded data or web site vulnerability to be the responsibility of the owner/operator of the data in question.

For years the U.S. Government web sites bleated on about the criminal risks of attacking their domains. In my opinion if a web site is vulnerable it is NOT the (h)(att)ackers who should be held accountable but the data holder.

The U.S. Government, amongst many, should be embarrassed, in fact, by the fact that their web sites, etc., have even been breached. So much for the high handed speech about their technological prowess just proves that they are technical eunuchs.

Many of the vulnerabilities by IT departments not patching or updating software for which there is a word: laziness.

These discoveries should not be used as excuses for inaction

The trouble with suppositions that global warning is not as bad as first envisioned is that even LESS will be done to stop the otherwise inevitable.

Bush showed what a dummy can do when most of science was running against him so we should be on guard against complacency - think of all the wonders of nature that have disappeared already.

The UK will lose it's 'Gulf Stream', Manhattan will become submerged and London's geography will be rewritten and who knows how ever increasing populations will be fed from ever decreasing arable land masses.

I'm getting on in years but I do my part - avoiding use of my car, recycling heat between exhaust and intake air on my central system, solar water heating, etc. - not for me, but for the future generations.

So Dell's technical screw up is an Androis problem?

The fact that Dell issued an upgrade without thorough testing (like Apple) is not the fault of the Android OS. Dell 'enhanced' the OS to interface it with it's product.

Even Apple, with it's buttoned down 100% software, has failed to cure the problems.

Funny how more experienced Android uses such as HTC, Samsung and Motorola have had so much success - must be a reason.

Patience pays off

iPhans have demonstrated that early adopters lose.

Be it the now crippled Version 1 that has hardware 'challenges' or those lemming-like iPhans who lined-up to buy a Lemon 4, particularly those who bought it after Consumer Reports came out condemning the failures.

Likewise with any product, never buy an early version so that the bugs can be fixed before you put your money down.

This is especially applicable to the Android OS since Version 4, due out this fall, has tablet enhancements in it.

Let them play Marbles!

May be the 'gob stopper' size marbles would satisfy a pre-teens needs to play with spheroids.

This is a Lemon 4 safety feature

Although many non-existent (in Jobs mind) still exist, the 'call dropping' feature associated with Lemon 4 Version 1 phones is actually a safety precaution.

As there is no sound when the call is dropped it permits the iPhan to re-connect with reality and hear warnings, etc.

Another hidden Apple feature.

"Clearly, all our aircrafts will be shot down.”

that is of these old Ilyushin can actually fly that far without crashing ... there have been a few mysterious accidents.

Not a problem in Toronto, Eh?

For all those Craigs List deprived viewers in Toronto, Canada they can satisfy their needs through the Toronto Now < http://toronto.nowtoronto.com/gyrobase/classifieds/Disclaimer > and Toronto Eye Weekly < http://www.eyeweekly.com/classifieds > FREE news mags OR the Bell Canada Yellow Pages which are delivered on request and really leave little to your imagination.

And then there's the Canadian InterNet sites!

Just hold on a minute ...

Apple will want to patent this, as their own work, to go with Gen 3 Apple TV.

Apple owns all technology ... judging by their patent claims.

Or possibly a karaoke outfit will lay claim to the gestures ... just like those used in karaoke.

Lucky visitors returning from China

Australian Customs are already a large pain in the a*se to most travellers going into Australia - they even seize electronic bug killers - so with yet another hot item on their list all visitors coming or returning from China will likely get an extra special Australian welcome.

A match mde in Heaven!

With Ellison's problem with verbal diarrhea, Hurd will likely be a useful counterbalance.

Wonder if Hurd had to sign a non-compete agreement before departing HP?

Notice: To all people finding this USB

Please forward to < www.wikileaks.org > or < http://cryptome.org/ >.

Does he even know wgere a computer on/off switch is?

Who else would employ such a loser?

Brown brings nothing to the table that will contribute to the advancement of the InterNet. If this appointment had been put up for a vote he would have had the world + dog vote him down.

If Google has agreed to pay $8.5 million ...

How much of a bill will Facebook look at for it's serial privacy breaches?

You've got to hand it to Google, they are pretty easy on censorship

If this was Apple, Job's altar iPhans would have smote this video from it's servers.

Google happily indexes competition, critics and things that cost it money.

Pretty even handed.

I thought the U.S. military was segmented.

How come the U.S. Army is flying this thing? Granted they have helicopters, which have a reasonably low ceiling, but this balloon certainly is in the U.S.A.F.'s domain given it's much higher ceiling.

Next we'll be hearing the U.S.A.F. has ordered it's very own version, followed by the Marines who always want special versions of things military.

No wonder the U.S.A. is bankrupt.

You can't trust government!

Government security workers have used security information to enrich themselves in the U.S.A.

Whilst those with intimate familiarity in the telecommunications industry have known what governments routinely do, surreptitiously, the current level of chatter is very healthy for more and more people are becoming sensitive to eavesdropping/monitoring done by governments.

RedPhone 0.1(voice)[uses ZRTP by Phil Zimmermann] and TextSecure 0.3 (text) are amongst several answers for Android users and defy government monitoring.

Secfone (software), Rohde & Swartz (Bluetooth hardware) and SnapCell (hardware) are others.

Using specific cell phones to call specific numbers stops governments building a database of contacts and using a pair of hand-phones as one-way communicators or split communications (A cell used for talk only to cell B; cell C used only to talk to cell D [A & D are one end and B & C are the other end]) is very effective, more so when they are paired using different carriers.

Developing countries, China excluded, definitely don't have the technology to beat these and even the U.S. capabilities are challenged.

Cell hygiene is essential (clearing registers, powering down periodically), Carrying cells across borders allows Plod and company to gather information such as the IMEA which can be used to build contact information.

Using calling cards is ineffective as all numbers are recorded, although dedicating one card to one called number increases difficulty in building contact databases (and not using different cards sequentially from one number).

Apples iPhans Orgy in the middle of the Bible Belt

The verbal masturbation that will be occurring in Apples cloud warehouse, bang in the middle of the Bible Belt will likely defy anyones imagination. The similarities between Apples latest fund raising effort and the evangelical church movement is striking.

Undoubtedly Jobs will be posting his 'treasured' snippets of Apple wisdom to keep the faithful happy.

How many moderators will it need to keep the faithful on the straight and narrow?

Can it run Win XP?

THIS is the beginning of the **real** tablet age rather than dumbed down, locked up toys.

If it doesn't have cell voice access, I guess the Google Apps store will be closed to it although now the Google App verification has been broken Apps will be installable along with Apps from non-Google stores.

Only shipping with Android OS V1.6 is a bummer and potentially shows a rush to market or poor support given that V2 is out and running.

Our corporation standard is XP SP3, in the main, so whether or not it would run is an interesting question.

I wonder if it has rubber feet and whether they remain attached

A company I worked for standardised on Tosh laptops but they all had a problem in common.

Some of the rubber feet would always fall off the computers - usually so that they rocked when the keyboards were used. Getting replacement feet from Toshiba was impossible.

They no longer buy Tosh products of any type.