* Posts by Stoneshop

1766 posts • joined 8 Oct 2009

Oh no, startup Massive Analytic unleashes 'artificial precognition'

Stoneshop
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'artificial precognition'

I expect a lot of sulking in basements.

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New low for humanity: ONE BEELLION lost souls log on to Facebook in one day

Stoneshop
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Holmes

Re: Really??

Soon it will be.

A billion instances of 'M' interacting with another, and those twelve people supervising that.

The next step will then be that Zuck will block you from logging in, because it will interfere with your 'M' instance's actions.

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Job ad warns of boss who 'will incite anger and frustration'

Stoneshop
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Grey walls*

used to be a reference source for sysadmins, programmers and even users, so not at all inspiration-crushing.

* For V5.x; with earlier versions the wall was orange.

<insert cobwebs.ico>

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Popping the Tesla S bonnet – to reveal SIX NEW FLAWS

Stoneshop
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FAIL

Re: Good on them....

In all the cars I know the handbrake applies ONLY to the rear wheels, and is generally insufficiently powerful to actually lock them when the car is moving, except on ice, snow or an otherwise slippery road surface. Also, if you actually managed to lock the rear wheels and the car went into a spin you a) just yanked the handle instead of controlling the braking like you would with the footbrake, and b) then let the car go into a slide. From which I conclude that you haven't driven on snow much.

Things may be different with cars that have an electrically operated handbrake.

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Boffins: Spooky, spinning SPACE PEANUT butters up Earth with close flyby

Stoneshop
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Windows

Re: MegaKong

Or someone who thinks we're monkeys. Which is not that far off, actually.

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Sun? In Blighty? Nah, just build that rooftop data centre, it’ll be fine

Stoneshop
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Devil

Re: Cooling the heat exchanger

In most industrial settings, "temporary" means "until it falls apart + 2 years to build the replacement".

Nah, this was government. So, "until it falls apart, plus five years to try to build a replacement which doesn't work, two years to break open the contract with $VENDOR[1], then four more years getting $VENDOR[2] to build something that has half the functionality for double the original price."

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Stoneshop
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Re: Lots of UPS, but no backup AC

Another place I worked actually had the A/C on the no-break too, so, no problem, you'd think. Most power failures didn't last more than half an hour or so, but when it had to run for a while longer for the first time it transpired that yes, the no-break itself would very much like to have some cooling too.

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Stoneshop
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Cooling the heat exchanger

One gig I had was in a temporary building: one story, wooden walls, black tar roof. Half of the aircon system was b0rk3d; it had a small leak and they had already consumed their freon quota. Even on cooler days this was already a problem, never mind days that had the sun stoking the roof full blast. So they had installed garden sprinklers under the heat exchanger (which by sheer accident happened to be in the shade for most of the day), and by 10 o'clock or so, when the computer room temperature hit 25C, someone had to open the tap. Then, depending on the accumulated heat, one of the team had to stay overtime to turn the tap off in the early evening. On very warm days this system was augmented by opening the back door and having a couple of fans wafting in outside air, which was perceptably cooler.

Due to the wildly varying computer room temps we had a fair number of disk and component failures. Way more than could be accounted for by the age of the systems.

My utterly practical solution to get a couple of buckets of white latex or some rolls of that alu-covered bubble-wrap foil, and chuck it at the roof was dismissed with "We're going to move out of here soon anyway.". Yeah right, but not before the end of the summer (AFAIK, they were there for two more years)

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Wait, STOP: Are you installing Windows 10 or RANSOMWARE?

Stoneshop
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Mushroom

Re: Are any of us surprised?

What next? - Internet connected sledgehammer?

The RLART suite, culminating in the OADS (Orbital Anvil Delivery System - Fiat Iustitia Caelo Ruato)

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Stoneshop
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Boffin

Re: Are any of us surprised?

I am sorry to say that you just cannot get through to some people regardless of how hard you try.

Tried a sledgehammer, a pickaxe or the aptly-named Stanley Fubar (XL, preferrably)? The diamond-blade water-cooled saw I have eats 10cm concrete for lunch, so a luser's cranium should be no problem at all.

(safety glasses icon, for obvious reasons)

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El Reg touches down at the ESA's Spanish outpost, sniffs around

Stoneshop
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Thumb Up

Re: "...35 million objects this size (6 mm)..."

It's funny how '35 million' can be such a small number.

Obligatory HHGttG quote here.

We humans still need to figure out how to clean up this mess in NEO.

Ack

Worthwhile article, BTW.

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HP insists 'we don't have a global dress code' – while deleting one from its website

Stoneshop
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Dropbox

Their employees have no restrictions on the clothes they wear, as long as it has an extremely large number of pockets that passers-by can put stuff into or take their stuff out again.

Flickr employees wear similar clothing, but their pockets can only hold photos.

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Stoneshop
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Windows

Microsoft clothes

would be, ahem, more decorative than functional, exposing body parts that you'd rather not expose. Sew-on patches for these wardrobe malfunctions will become available on alternate Tuesdays when there's no 'u' or 'r' in the month, and the year is a prime number. Employees have taken to stripping and starting with a fresh set of clothes roughly every three months

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Stoneshop
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Holmes

They would need to order their clothes through the HP website, which would more often than not result in a Seriously Large Box being delivered, containing two memory modules, a set of rack mounting bolts and a software license for the Fortran compiler for HP-UX V7.

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Stoneshop
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Childcatcher

Re: Not sure what the fuss is about...

...pretty much every company I know has a dress "code".

There was this snippet of a job interview I read on Usenet: "Do you guys have a dress code?"

"Well, um, we prefer you're dressed, yes."

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Windows 10: Buy cheap, buy twice, right? Buy FREE ... buy FOREVER

Stoneshop
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Megaphone

Re: Kudos for the 1970's music reference

They seem optomised for Bass and loudness

ITYM lobotomised

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ATTACK of the ZOMBIE SATELLITE: Run radio hams, run!

Stoneshop
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Black Helicopters

Re: can we use it for target practice?

The limited amount of harm this satellite is causing is not worth generating a bunch of orbital debris that will cause problems for years.

Then it's a good thing it's not hovering over Hillview, Kentucky.

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Stoneshop
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Mushroom

Re: 'kin typical

we started celebrating the similarities.

Like Starbucks, McDonalds and Coca Cola? The NSA is called differently here, but they act the same.

You go celebrate if you want. I won't.

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Just ONE THOUSAND times BETTER than FLASH! Intel, Micron's amazing claim

Stoneshop
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Re: @Lamb0

Even at higher chip cost, because ultracaps and batteries are very expensive.

I'd think circuit board real estate would be the primary factor

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UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Stoneshop
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Boffin

Re: Forget The Tits

So you prefer male Gallus Gallus Domesticus over, say, a Parus caeruleus?

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Technology quiz reveals that nobody including quiz drafters knows anything about IT

Stoneshop
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Mushroom

Re: 12/12

If they're going to take it seriously, they deserve the criticism. getting fed to 4chan.

FTFY

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Stoneshop
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Holmes

Re: 10/12

I wonder if its varying the questions for some reason

On the results page they show the scores to 15 questions, so they are indeed varying

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Stoneshop
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Re: 10/12

Then again, it's easy to write a mail client which will only take keyboard input (just as some Unix passwd commands only take keyboard input - not command-line redirects) , so couldn't send any file (even a text one).

Even systems that take keyboard input from a hard-wired terminal only can send files, although it may take quite a bit of effort, and not all options may be available to Joe Random User. You could for instance UUencode the file, send it to the puncher on the ASR33, start the mail program, read back the punch tape and hey presto, you've got it ready to send. Or even UUencode by hand (the algorithm is not that difficult) and just type the lines as you encode them.

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World-beating TWO-QUADRILLION-WATT LASER fired by boffins

Stoneshop
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Go

LFEX was finished last year, is about 100 metres long,

So they need to work a bit on growing bigger sharks. Which shouldn't be too difficult, after all, Godzilla came from Japan too.

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ICANN further implicated in .Africa controversy

Stoneshop
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FAIL

Re: ICANN has gone rogue

"Oh, I cleaned the ICANN building out in Los Angeles."

Had he done his job properly, we wouldn't have had this mess.

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Stoneshop
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Coat

Re: My question is: who cares about a .africa domain?

ileftmybrainsdownin.africa

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Jeep drivers can be HACKED to DEATH: All you need is the car's IP address

Stoneshop
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Devil

Re: A start, but...

Indeed. Like I suggested on another subject a while back, it should physically affect the idiots that allow such a situation to (continue to) exist.

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Stoneshop
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Facepalm

Re: why are any incoming connections accepted at all?

Because car manufacturers want to be able to upload patches directly to your car when it is parked on your driveway.

So kill everything that's listening for incoming connections as soon as the vehicle starts moving.

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べーコンはどこですか? demands post-pub nosh fan

Stoneshop
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compose - slash - u

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Ashley Madison invites red-faced cheats to bolt stable door for free

Stoneshop
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Re: Bolt for Free ?

Horse bolted door?

Nope. The correct password is Correct Horse Battery Staple.

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Reg top tip: Don't have the same name as someone else if you use Facebook's Instagram

Stoneshop
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Headmaster

Re: @ Stoneshop (was: One wonders ...)

<i.No ... I'm pretty certain I've been here for a while and know my password.</i>

This doesn't in any way disprove that at some point you might have had the "Jake" login which you then forgot about.

"I'm not "making do", I'm just "jake". Have been, for quite awhile.

So why label it as a "pet peeve" then?

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Stoneshop
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FAIL

Re: One wonders ...

Either both [Jj]akes are you (which looks likely, given the tone of the content), and you either forgot you already had a login or were too, ahem, inattentive to spot the "Forgot password?" link on the login page, or there are two distinct Jakes, one of which then evidently needs to make do with "jake", "Jake1", "AnotherJake", "NotTheSameJake" or any other variation .nes. "Jake"

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Cops baffled by 'canal corpse' that turned out to be COCONUTS

Stoneshop
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Alien

Re: Someone pulled it out?

If there is any alien life, it will be found in a disused canal. the East River.

(particularly rich in nutrients, etc)

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Google robo-car in rear-end smash – but cack-handed human blamed

Stoneshop
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Go

Re: Room for improvement

Not just sense idiots, they also need to predict their unpredictable behavior. In other words, Defocused Temporal Perception.

Just make sure there's room in the basement, next to the elevators.

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Farmer mooved after reunion with two-year fugitive cow

Stoneshop
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Coat

Take this matter out to pasture

It behooves a serious publication like The Register to be not reporting this in such a cheesy manner.

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600 MEELLION apps open to brute force account guessing

Stoneshop
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FAIL

Re: Numbers

It's not the app itself that's vulnerable (maybe it is, but that's irrelevant in this case), but the service that it connects to. THAT is available full-time, whether or not any legitimate user has connected.

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Ideal solar system for SECOND EARTH found – and it's just 186 light-years away

Stoneshop
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Mushroom

So if you think

this will trick the Vogons into not destroying our solar system but HIP11915 instead, you'd be wrong. They'll just get to do it twice.

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WINGED VELOCIRAPTOR 'from HELL': Closest thing ever to a real DRAGON?

Stoneshop
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Re: But could it breathe fire?

"It’s thought to be the origin of the chinese dragon myth—because they are well huge, giant giant lizards, they’re scaly, they’re man eaters, literally they’re man eaters, and they don’t actually breathe fire, but they do have the worst breath of any creature known to man."

Douglas Adams, on the Komodo Dragon Lizard

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Behold: Pluto's huge ICE MOUNTAINS ... and signs of cryovolcanoes?

Stoneshop
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Re: Wow

As I read it, the first probe to visit another planet, Venera, did so just outside Winkypop's lifetime.

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The Great Barrier Relief – Inside London's heavy metal and concrete defence act

Stoneshop
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Re: The only computers were a VAX running PDP 11

@ Phil O'Sophical

true, but if the PDP was used to control the gate machinery I'd expect it to have been running RT-11. With a number of third-party interfaces hooked up to all kinds of actuators and sensors. A VAX won't cut it there. Also, early '80's PDP11's were widely available and a fair bit cheaper than your average VAX.

(where's the cobwebs icon?)

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Stoneshop
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FAIL

The only computers were a VAX running PDP 11

That's like "a Vauxhall driving a Morris".

The PDP11 is a computer system, not an OS, as is the VAX. The PDP is 16-bit, and can run RSTS, RSX-11, RT-11 or various flavours of Unix. The 32-bit VAX runs VMS or Ultrix (or some other Unix variant)

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Hacking Team: We’ll be back in the spyware biz before you know it

Stoneshop
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Boffin

"ethical" behaviour.

Even when the temperature is below zero, it is still referred to as "degrees Celcius" (or Fahrenheit, as the case may be)

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FLYING PIG crash-lands in Utah: Rider survives, bacon saved

Stoneshop
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New form of lift

"What saved my bacon, was that the head of the pig held a lot of hot air and helped the balloon to descend at a safer rate,"

Make a balloon shaped like a politician, and you don't even need burners to get off the ground

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DOUGHNUT (donut?) and whale FOUND ON PLUTO

Stoneshop
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Holmes

NASA: Doughnut FOUND ON PLUTO – along with a WHALE

When they get a closer look in a few days they'll find it's not a doughnut but a bowl of petunias.

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This box beams cafes' Wi-Fi over 4kms so you can surf in obscurity

Stoneshop
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Re: Self destruct?

Compact cassette would be possible (BTW, it was launched in 1963, not 1965), but MI used tape recorders. I remember several instances of the tape running off the supply reel just after the "This tape will self-destruct within ten seconds" message.

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Stoneshop
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Boffin

Re: Fail of fails.

Murphy's Law. Soon as some lowlife spots an open relay, they'll hammer it, guaran-damn-teed.

Given that it retransmits at 900MHz, you'll need a matching transceiver at the user end. It won't show up on the average punter's laptop/tablet's access point list.

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Stoneshop
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Holmes

Re: Self destruct?

The cassettes in the original Mission Impossible used to emit smoke,

Cassettes? Portabe tape recorders, or were you perhaps referring to the movie based on the original Mission Impossible TV series, grasshopper?

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Dormant ALIEN SLIME LIFE frozen in SPEEDING comet will AWAKEN - boffins

Stoneshop
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Re: microbes (for which there is *no evidence*)

Not smoking gun proof but hell, they're doing science - On. A. Comet.

In spaaaaaaaace!

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Why OH WHY did Blighty privatise EVERYTHING?

Stoneshop
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Headmaster

Adjust your parser

Quite apart from anything else it's not the pursuit of profit that makes organisations more efficient: it's the prospect of having whatever profits you might be able to make competed away (leading to the death of the organisation) that does.

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Who wants a classic ThinkPad with whizzy new hardware? Lenovo would just love to know

Stoneshop
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Pint

Re: ME! Oh ME! MeohmeohmeohMEEEE!

Before this X201 my daily lappie was an X61, with a wedge-shaped auxiliary battery underneath. Apart from roughly doubling battery life it added some heft to the machine, and a slight, but nice enough tilt to the keyboard.

I'd like this new retro Thinkpad to also come in an X variant (screen size and performance are less important to me than portability) with extended batteries as an option.

Beer for the Lenovo engineer who gets this machine out the door.

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