* Posts by Stuart Halliday

755 posts • joined 2 Jul 2007

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Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Stuart Halliday

Let's have an episode where we find out about the Universal Translator or how the Replicator came about.

Or maybe even how people of different races or religions can get along with each other?

These issues would be fascinating and give us hope for the future.

.

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Fresh hell for TalkTalk customers: TeamView trap unleashed

Stuart Halliday
Angel

Re: My favorite

I like to remind them that their mother would be ashamed of them....

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Computex 2016: Full of people in cold sweats, retching after VR demos

Stuart Halliday

Reversible USB 2?

Didn't we get told this last year?

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Meet ARM1, grandfather of today's mobe, tablet CPUs – watch it crunch code live in a browser

Stuart Halliday

Still got my 1MB Acorn Archimedes A310.

Actually it's a A305. But I hand soldered an extra 500KB of RAM. It's a beautiful piece of technology.

I wonder if it's worth anything?

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Boffins achieve 'breakthrough' in random number generation

Stuart Halliday

So what's wrong with my method?

Pick a OS and programming language. Use it's random number generator. By seeding it with a time value you get a traceable sequence of numbers that appear random if you don't have that seed value.

I noticed that just a small variation of the OS or the language causes the random number sequence to be vastly different. Works for me.

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Ofcom serves up an extra helping of airwaves for Wi-Fi

Stuart Halliday

Re: PR spin

Let's not forget that the higher the frequency, the less likely the radio waves have of getting through objects.

What we need is a lower frequency with more channels.

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Stuart Halliday
WTF?

You not heard about Powerline technology???

It goes from A to B using your Mains wiring.

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Stuart Halliday

Re: Weakest Link

Well, CAT 5e was designed to offer 1Gbps before CAT 6 got ratified back in them days. :)

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Stuart Halliday
IT Angle

Re: Weakest Link

You do realise that half your bandwidth is taken up by the encryption, so you're in fact getting 50%. Then once you remove the error checking bits, you'll be lucky to get 40%. :)

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London NHS trust fined £180,000 after second bcc fail on HIV email list

Stuart Halliday

A simple script to check for multiple addresses in the To: or CC: field and either reject it or rewrite it to the BCC: field.

This is so simple to do, it beggers belief that their IT Staff doesn't do it. Sack one of them for being an idiot.

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NASA saves Kepler space 'scope by turning it off and on again

Stuart Halliday
Joke

Check to see if a Cleaner had accidentally plugged in their Hoover nearby?

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Linux command line mistake 'nukes web boss'S biz'

Stuart Halliday
Facepalm

Unfortunately The Register authors tend to forget that major fact.

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Computers shouldn't smoke. Cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone

Stuart Halliday
Angel

Had a client who phoned me up to fix her desktop in her house.

The tower was inside a wire cage. Soon found out why, there was a hedgehog, pigeon and 2 brown rats living with her freely in the room.

Every port of the PC was full of sawdust. USB, serial, parallel, you name it.

Not wanting to take the PC back to base, I opened it on her kitchen table and it exploded with more sawdust!

I was coughing and scratching for a week afterwards!

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Stuart Halliday

I had kids that used to feed their VCR toast....

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Stuart Halliday

Once opened a VCR (Video Cassette Recorder for those people too young to remember video cassettes) and was amazed to see a gold plated video drum.

Thinking naively to myself that the machine must be very good quality, I cleaned the drum with iso-p and it all came off in the brush. Yes, nicotine goes everywhere when you smoke.

VCR played much better too.

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Stuart Halliday

Customer phones up to complain that his expensive custom software isn't working. After extensive telephone support we couldn't fix it. So we arrange a courier to pick up the computer and return it within 24 hours.

We get the PC and fix the problem. Young engineers being, well young, go foraging in his harddrive.

They come across 100GB of photographs. Well we think they were Pornographic as we couldn't see individual images as they were protected by encryption. But the twat had used long filenames to describe in detail each image!

Most were of dubious material shall we say?

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Half of people plug in USB drives they find in the parking lot

Stuart Halliday

It's OK. In America they can just use a gun to protect themselves! ;)

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When Steve Jobs was away, Apple's designers snuck out a penis-shaped remote control

Stuart Halliday

Yawn article

Gee desperate to hype up your article weren't you? So you added infantile penis jokes.

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PC World's cloudy backup failed when exposed to ransomware

Stuart Halliday

Re: "years of work and important documents"

You do however need to be IT knowledgeable :

To know the current malware trends.

To know how fragile data is.

To test your backups.

To test all your security.

Sadly 99% of the population aren't.

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Boffins freeze brains, then thaw them – and they're in perfect order

Stuart Halliday

So all those people who got their heads frozen over the last 20 years will get a refund? ;)

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Intel, Qualcomm set up their WiGig 802.11ad devices on blind dates

Stuart Halliday

I'll wait for "ah" thank you very much...

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Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Stuart Halliday

Much the same with dodgy Lightening cables. They are supposed to have a unique id and if you buy a cheap counterfeit one, Apple just turns it off.

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Chip company FTDI accused of bricking counterfeits again

Stuart Halliday
Stop

The problem of counterfeit components isn't going away.

5 years ago it was dodgy capacitors. Now everything is fair game.

Today, they're even counterfeiting the humble fuse.

Manufacturers of sophisticated products are being conned into using substandard resistors, capacitors, logic chips and wire.

This is killing people.

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Stuart Halliday

Should at least tell the user for goodness sake!

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Announcing our Android developer competition winners

Stuart Halliday

And the hundreds of Apps are now the property of Samsung?

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Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

Stuart Halliday

Somewhere there'll be a BBC B still running.....

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AMD's 64-bit ARM server chip Seattle finally flies the coop ... but where will it call home?

Stuart Halliday
Mushroom

RISC OS would be a dream on one of these... (I have funny dreams).

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LogMeIn adds emergency break-in feature to LastPass

Stuart Halliday

Re: Why does it need 'improving'?

Cause a bunch of sales reps think that buying a company needs to justify their wage packets by offering useless addons and features.

I fully expect other useless features to be added as time progresses. Norton software all over again.

My Lastpass password is in a sealed envelope in locked filing cabinet in a lower floor, with the bulb removed. (You get the idea).

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Stuart Halliday

So quit moaning and ask the company?

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Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Stuart Halliday

Car park space for life

Accountancy company offered me a free car space once I fixed their embarrassing IT backup procedure.

Some twat had set it to backup their clients work at 02:00. For 2 years it had came up at the due time "Are you sure you want to overwrite this tape". Of course it defaulted to NO each and every night.

I added /Y to a batch script. Got given a car park space in a busy city centre. :)

Saved the CEOs bacon didn't I?

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TalkTalk attack: UK digi minister recommends security badges for websites

Stuart Halliday

Re: ICO is right

Put data on small pieces of cardboard, place in filing cabinets and lock the door.

There, that'll work.

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TalkTalk attack: 'No legal obligation to encrypt customer bank details', says chief

Stuart Halliday

Love to hear any Talk Talk IT Engineer try to get a new job after this example of blundering IT.

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So just what is the third Great Invention of all time?

Stuart Halliday

First was the Sewing Needle. Second was Fire, so the third must be farming.

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How long does it take an NHS doctor to turn on a computer?

Stuart Halliday

Re: And your point is?

I've had people ask me if a remote control for their TV needs batteries fitted to work.

Tempted to say it works by magic.

Ordinary folks really have no clue how technology works.

Worse ones are those who claim the thing should just work without any input from them.

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Stuart Halliday
Facepalm

Had an electrician rewire a laptop power lead (the DC end) after cutting it.

It was wired up in reverse. The electrician wasn't phased by this (pun entended) as he stated that he wasn't aware of polarity in his job.

Sorry? Aren't these chaps supposed to know the difference between a Live and Neutral wire??

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Roku 4 specs leak: Yes, it's got 4K streaming and a games controller

Stuart Halliday
WTF?

Ok, so who's wondering what Western Digital is going to do?

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So how do Google's super-smart security folk protect their data?

Stuart Halliday

So, basically what any decent IT bod should be doing? Gee... Hardly headline stuff then.

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Nine of the world’s fastest GPU supercomputers

Stuart Halliday
Happy

So, how many light rays can it plot per second?

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

Stuart Halliday

But you said you wanted a pink furry pet

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Travel back to the 19-Z80s this weekend

Stuart Halliday
Devil

"6502" - there I said it!

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Stuart Halliday

Maplin?

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French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

Stuart Halliday

I wonder which Wifi standard? 2.4GHz, 5GHz and does this include Bluetooth 2,3 or 4. Oh and cordless dect phones?

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Stuart Halliday
WTF?

I wonder which Wifi standard? 2.4GHz, 5GHz and does this include Bluetooth 2,3 or 4. Oh and cordless dect phones?

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A close shave: How to destroy your hard drives without burning down the data centre

Stuart Halliday

Heat will do it everytime. Magnetic particles lose their field at 200°C.

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Biggest security update in history coming up: Google patches Android hijack bug Stagefright

Stuart Halliday
Coffee/keyboard

Getting to the Root of the problem.

Funny that. I've rooted my phone (Just so I can use fonts) and now it refuses to update. What's the point of that? Let the customer decide what they want to do.

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Stuffing the wafers: SanDisk presses on with 48-layer 3D NAND chip

Stuart Halliday
WTF?

So does that mean they're 256Gb x 1 per layer? You've lost me.

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Power Bar: EE was warned of safety risk BEFORE user was burned in explosion

Stuart Halliday
Flame

Just a wee knock on your power pack can dislodge crystals within the battery and cause a short circuit that leads to heat and potential disaster.

I once dropped a spare phone battery onto the carpet and noticed a few minutes later it was heating up. Within 30 minutes it was hot, so I decided to put it outside on a slab of concrete. It swelled up and blistered. I disposed of it at the recycling plant in the morning.

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Toshiba invites Seagate to the gun show after raising its SSD game

Stuart Halliday
Devil

Any old Iron?

Does this mean there will be a glut of second-hand hard drives on eBay?

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Trebles all round: The BBC's won this licence fee showdown

Stuart Halliday
Megaphone

Best value for my money.

The Beeb provides excellent quality TV, radio and Internet services. Not to mention the other off-street services.

It's the best in the World so why play around with it?

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How Music Got Free and Creatocracy

Stuart Halliday

Can't they just blame the makers of CD/Tape Recorders? ;)

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