Friends

A large group of friends (read: partners) can help you get the word out, and cash thence. Getting friends is (largely) free, after all.

OMG I think I have a solution!

All personal computers are heretoforthwith to be supplied with a cartoon boxing-glove-on-a-spring that can be activated remotely via the interwibble by anyone against whom a slight is made.

OK, so maybe that's a bit harsh. How about the remote InstaCrash hard drive feature that - you guessed it - enables the jilted web user to wreak his revenge on online meanies by zapping their disk!!!!!!!111 C'mon. wouldn't that be great?

@ Andy Burgess

I don't believe the dinosaurs kept records of celestial obejcts ...

C'mon, you know you want one

Yes, it's currently wasteful, harmful and probably not very good, but - no more wires! Admit it, we'll all get one when it goes on sale.

Abracadabra!

Needs voice-recognition for extra 'ness.