* Posts by RISC OS

392 posts • joined 29 Sep 2009

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NSA bulk phone records slurp to end when law lapses next month – report

RISC OS
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They'll still be doing it

they just won't tell people that they are

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Jamie Oliver's ministry of malware served slops AGAIN

RISC OS
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Yeah

you think he could easily pay for it to be done properly, just the other day he was bragging that he has made 250 million, where as Ramsay is only worth 100 million.

Seems he is too tight though to pay for real web support... I mean he's not a youtube chef, he's an internationally known chef and if he can't be bothered to spend money on his website in 2015 when the web is more than just a passing fad, it's his fault.

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GCHQ puts out open recruitment call for 'white hat' hackers

RISC OS
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My cv says I'm a good team player...

...maybe I shall apply. Not sure I can do the free running that bond does though.

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Back seat drivers fear lead-footed autonomous cars, say boffins

RISC OS
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The biggest menace on the roads are trucks

... if it'S not obese drivers having heart attacks, it's falling a sleep...

google cars will just be death traps until everything is automatic

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RISC OS
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Re: Pshaw

yeah...

"Your going to wales??? Rather you than me, last year our google car tried make a 90 turn whilst crossing the river severn bridge."

lol.

That will put you off.

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Cop in gay porn film advised to put his helmet away

RISC OS
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If only...

...he had come quietly!

So is he gay? Or was it just gay-for-pay?

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Red-faced Germans halt NSA cooperation after Euro spying revealed

RISC OS
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Bad is german for spa....

it's like saying their listening station is in lemington spa

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RISC OS
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correction...

...they "say" that they have halted it.

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FOUND: NASA's stray balloon located in the middle of nowhere

RISC OS
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must have been a big ballon

to show up on google maps like that...

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PICTURE-TASTIC: Microsoft woos devs to HoloLens virtuo-goggs

RISC OS
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Hmm...

...this device seems to require you to live the life of a silicon valley single... no kids leaving toys everywhere, a huge house with a room whose only purpose is for gaming.

Come to the UK MS, go to a standard council house and show me it working there.

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Torvalds' temptress comes of age: Xfce 4.12 hits the streets

RISC OS
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"Visual polish on the Xfce 4.12 interface is noticeable"

Where?

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Barry Obama declares national emergency over foreign hackers

RISC OS
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Re: "Barry Obama"

You forgot his middle name, teabaggers are always mentioning it so it must be important.

Barry "Hussein" Obama

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RISC OS
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Joke

Only overseas actors...

...are there lots of hackers working in the film industry then?

Why are thespians being targeted so directly?

Obviously the obama administration doesn't watch jason bourne, I thought these things were called assets now...next you'll be telling me that helicopters aren't called choppers anymore.

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PIRATES and THIEVES to get Windows 10 as BOOTY

RISC OS
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I wonder how much...

...the NSA is giving them to do this?

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Never mind, Samsung, GOOGLE will EAVESDROP as you browse on Chrome

RISC OS
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You did not seriously think that a User could contend with the ear of Sauron?

There are none who can. Against the power of Google, there can be no victory. We must join with it. We must join with Google

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‪Obama criticises China's mandatory backdoor tech import rules

RISC OS
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Pot...

...calling the kettle black.

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Does my star look big in this? Milky Way 50 per cent fatter than expected

RISC OS
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Re: Fatter than expected...

As far as I know, I don't meet men ;)

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RISC OS
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Joke

Fatter than expected...

...like women on dating sites when you eventually meet ;)

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Dream job: Sysadmin/F1 pit crew member with Red Bull racing

RISC OS
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Nothing for your stereotypical...

...tech guy... obese 40 year old living in his others basement, playing games all weekend instead of mingling with real people.

Should make it easier for me to get the job!

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Chappie: The AI tale that’s about heart, not intelligence

RISC OS
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I thought chapie was northern slang for penis

I saw a tv show once about to carpenters, one of them dropped an disc saw on the floor, it bounced up - still going - and cut in to his (as his friend put it) "chappie"

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Euro ministers ditch plan to ban roaming charges

RISC OS
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I'm guessing

That too many MEPs realised that they had shares in to many companies that would be affected by the change... wait a minute, I need a period of time to adjust to the change in my dividends.

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Don't pay for the BBC? Then no Doctor Who for you, I'm afraid

RISC OS
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Re: Being in the US, I'm no expert on the BBC...

because there are idiots in this country who can't speak another language and have never lived anywhere else and truly believe (in the same way yanks believe in the bible stories) that british TV "is second to none and the envy of the world".

Sadly, they are wrong on both counts.

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RISC OS
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Re: We should pay for TV we dont want

UP yours,

I don't want to watch the BBC and can't see why I should pay for it. I don't see it as vital.

As You do and are "desperatly against a pay-per-view model" why don't you pay for me and everyone else... especially as you think "...It's vital that people don't have a choice where their money goes", paying for me shouldn't be a problem for you.

Currently I'm paying for the likes of you for something I don't use.

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Boffins baffled by the glowing 'plumes' of MARS

RISC OS
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A martian base

either yankee, jap or russian, or Ets

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Google boffins PROVE security warnings don't ... LOOK! A funny cat!

RISC OS
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FAIL

Attackers...

...might be trying tos teal your information... jesus? Attackers?? lol

What's next? Terrorists?

FAIL

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Spartan on Windows 7? Microsoft is 'watching demand'

RISC OS
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Re: Other OSs?

For me it would be useful, I'm a web designer and need to test on all browsers.

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Facebook, Instagram, Tinder TITSUP*: HOW did anyone even find out?

RISC OS
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I expect...

...that the NSA needed to install a database update.

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Pull up the Windows 10 duvet and pretend Win8 and Vista were BAD DREAMS

RISC OS
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Why does all Windows 8 criticism focus on the UI????

That is an NSA requirement ;)

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MARS NEEDS BROADBAND, insists Elon Musk

RISC OS
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The kind of people that want to check their twitter feed and facebook wall as soon as they land are the kind of people who shouldn't be selected for the trip to mars in the first place.

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I'll build a Hyperloop railgun tube-way in Texas, Elon Musk vows

RISC OS
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Yeah...

...if your dad's a billionaire or multi-millionaire you can go pod racing in the future... for everyone else you can work as waiter to bring drinks to billionaire or multi-millionaire kids who pod race.

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Google unleashes build-it-yourself 'Ara' SLABLET phones (in Puerto Rico)

RISC OS
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google don't seem to be able to make products...

...that non-nerds want to buy... this will be no different.

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Professor's BEAGLE lost for 10 years FOUND ON MARS

RISC OS
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Joke

The UK Space Agency ... is refusing to discuss details in advance...

Yeah, first they have to photoshop the laser beam scorch marks, caused by the aliens that shot it down, out of the images...

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Anonymous vows to avenge Charlie Hebdo massacre by blitzing jihadist sites

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Users shun UK.gov flagship digital service

RISC OS
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The complete digitalisation of the process would remove safeguards...

... provided by physical witnessed signatures.

well maybe if you are that worried, lawyers, cut your prices per hour to something that, say a tesco self-filler, could afford and you may get to keep your business

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UKIP website TAKES A KIP, but for why?

RISC OS
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123reg...

... that trusty bastion of legit sites.

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RISC OS
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It deliberate

Farage thought that if the ukip website wasn't working that it's members couldn't use facebook and twitter either

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THREE MILLION Moonpig accounts exposed by flaw

RISC OS
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Facepalm

Look at the website

and that shit logo... and teh name! moonpig!!! Does it really look trustworthy??? It sounds like some crap thrown together with the likes of sitebuildit

https://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=sitebuildit&meta=cr%3DcountryUK|countryGB&gws_rd=ssl

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RISC OS
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Joke

Never heard of moonpig...

...but I see they sell greetings cards... I wonder if they have a "I'm sorry you have been hacked" card?

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Ugly Microsoft code NUKED Bing and Yahoo! – report

RISC OS
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I guess

the 2 or 3 people who use bing and yahoo to search are relieved that the drama is over!

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Euro iTunes customers get 14 DAY refund option

RISC OS
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Re: Free movie rental!

Yeah, but I can't cancel anything that isn't ordered... so I can't see how they are giving people a right to cancel as in order to buy you have to agree not to cancel.

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RISC OS
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Re: Free movie rental!

Yeah, that's what I was wondering... 14 days is a longtime to copy an mp3 or soemthing. I can't see how this will work. Everybody will be returning everything!

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German minister fingered as hacker 'steals' her thumbprint from a PHOTO

RISC OS
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Re: Surely......

What alll the time? Ad maybe wear a fat suit and a mask so people can't recognise you in photos too

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RISC OS
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Re: Hope this doesn't lead to...

It needs to be 2 factor... so you fingerprints will need to be found on your body part

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Reg man confesses: I took my wife out to choose a laptop for Xmas. NOOOO

RISC OS
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I bought my

alcatel one touch fire because of the orange colour... looks really nice.

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Ireland: Hey, you. America. Hands off Microsoft's email cloud servers

RISC OS
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Basically ireland are saying...

...we don't want to take it in the arse but are to scared to say "swivel on it", so hopefully stick to existing legal routes - the kind the yanks normally ignore when they feel like it, if that still isn't ok... it's touch your toes time for leprechauns.

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Welsh council rapped for covert spying on sick leave worker

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Nice to see that the STASI

is alive and well in wales

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

RISC OS
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Re: USS Ponce

Really??? what's the sister ship called? USS Pimp?

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Pebble: The brilliant stealth wearable Apple's Watch doesn't see coming

RISC OS
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The watches look classy...

...in a 1980s delboy style "chunky gold identity braclet" kind of way...

"That's not Rooney.... that is copperplate writing..."

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Yahoo, Bing beg 'right to be forgotten' wipers: Don't FORGET about US

RISC OS
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Re: How to increase market share

Maybe host it on sealand

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Star Wars: Episode VII trailer lands. You call that a lightsaber? THIS is a lightsaber

RISC OS
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Lightsabres can cut through anything

unless you need them to actually not cut through anything, like in RotJ or maybe the TEsB when one of them spins upside down and uses his lightsabre to stop himself hitting the floor... so I guess it won't cut their hands either.

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