* Posts by Olafthemighty

170 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Sep 2009

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Busty Ohio mannequin survives assassination attempt

Olafthemighty
Pint

"Chestacular"?

Lester, for crimes against the English language, I sentence you to beer. Please keep up the good work!

Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

Olafthemighty
Headmaster

@Jay

True enough, but our tornadoes are shit.

Blighty promised £43m prang-predicting supercomputer

Olafthemighty
Stop

"Ambitious and forward looking"?

That sounds worrying like a gubmint euphemism for "unlikely to actually get off the ground" or possibly "top of the pile when the next round of cuts are announced".

Christmas gamma burst stupendo-explosion DEATHMATCH

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

"Stupendity"

Nice one!

Phobos-Grunt 'crippled by US aurora station', 'is a bio-weapon'

Olafthemighty
Megaphone

@mky

Apparently it can be a breach of the peace too :o(

Biology miss punts homemade smut to pupils

Olafthemighty
Childcatcher

@Olaf

(Sorry - reply button not working)

http://m24digital.com/2011/11/27/junin-profesora-muestra-por-error-un-%E2%80%98video-hot%E2%80%99-a-sus-alumnos/

You're welcome.

Car safety agency sparks e-car battery probe

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Remove the batteries before you have an accident?

If Apple made electric cars, maybe.

Apple fanbois get app to summon store staff

Olafthemighty
Gimp

Make it idiot proof...

And someone will make a better idiot.

Mars rover Curiosity autographed by Obama

Olafthemighty
Alien

I *really* hope

Obama's signature says something unbelievably rude in Martian!

Hacker cuffed in job interview sting with hotel he blackmailed

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

Tw@t

That is all.

Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

Don't stick it in the crazy?

NOW you tell me!

US quakes before MENACING TURKEYS, snow globes

Olafthemighty
WTF?

I don't understand.

W-h-y... d-i-d... t-h-e-y... r-e-c-o-r-d... t-h-a-t... a-t... h-a-l-f... s-p-e-e-d? Weird.

Enormous orbiting solar raygun power plants touted

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

>"but these aren't going to be orbital death beams"

Orbital death beams? What orbital death beams? Nobody mentioned orbital death beams. What aren't you telling us?

<-- Dooomed, I tell ye.

Voyager 2 finally agrees to a long hard thrust

Olafthemighty
Childcatcher

Communicating with a distant spacecraft is very much like making love to a beautiful woman

Read that post back through as if you're 14, making every third word or so a double-entendre and several of the steps are strikingly similar...

Nude lady recreates Star Wars tauntaun scene in dead horse

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

@TRT

Apart from the smiling and the lack of clothes, yes.

Apple was OK to fire man for private Facebook comments

Olafthemighty
Happy

What, no comment from Apple?

That's unlike you guys!

Inside WD's flooded Thai factory

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

@wossname

Shan't.

It should be plain to see that humans frequently deal with the flood of emotions created by an event such as this with humour. It doesn't mean we don't feel sympathy for those affected.

Avira anti-virus labels itself as spyware

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

May I be the 27th person to say

<nelson muntz> Ha ha! <\nelson muntz>

Man builds smartphone dock into arm

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

That's all well and good

But will it blend?

Swedish password hacking scandal widens

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Wow.

Makes you guys look like rank amateurs in the field of personal information dispersal!

Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment

Olafthemighty
Boffin

@Ian

Shirley you've got that the wrong way round. Didn't he turn gold into crap?

Libel reform vows to slay anonymous trolls

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Well...

I was going to complain about someone complaining about my as-yet unformed complaint but I guess I now have to complain about the fact that I can't.

This is getting complicated. My brain hurts.

Dubstep ringtone wins Nokia compo

Olafthemighty
Alien

@Vicky

I'm intrigued as to how you now manage to type...

CyanogenMod 7.1 brings 24 Android phones into fold

Olafthemighty
Pint

Thanks, PaulR79!

A most useful comment. Are you new here?

iPhone 4S pre-orders obliterate sales records

Olafthemighty
Coffee/keyboard

" world's most appropriately named marketing chieftan"

<SPLOOOOOOOOT>

Judge cracks down on Bayesian stats dodginess in court

Olafthemighty

Indeed

See also: Colin Norris (possibly)

Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Olafthemighty
Trollface

Oooo, this could be fun!

Beer? Check.

Smokables? Check.

<sits back and waits for the deluge of anger and fanboishness>

Top work, Lewis!

New iPhone offered for sale via unauthorised outlets

Olafthemighty
Trollface

This is not just a phone...

This is a hotly anticipated, dangerously over-hyped, next-generation Jesusphone!

Prang finder site reveals accident blackspots

Olafthemighty
Holmes

Bogus.

My condolences.

Boffins invent miracle pill that counteracts effects of booze

Olafthemighty
Pint

@ relpy

+3 Internets for sneaking H2G2 in there.

<- and a beverage of your choosing.

Picture for advertising purposes only: actual drink may vary from that shown.

US lawmakers call for FTC probe of supercookies

Olafthemighty
Boffin

Flash cookies.

US survey: 1 in 5 telecommuters work an hour or less a day

Olafthemighty

@ gerryg

Here you go: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1994-06-07/

You're welcome!

Chinese bloke gets eel lodged up todger

Olafthemighty

@ LightWeight

You owe me one tub of mind-bleach.

Apollo 17 Moon landing: Shock revelations

Olafthemighty
Happy

I do love you guys.

Sooo much.

Unlikely contender tops rankings in Nokia ringtone quest

Olafthemighty
Stop

I'm sorry D@v3, I can't let you do that.

We, the humble and unwashed masses, don't seem to be able to affect the star rating of any of the entries; we can like 'em, or we can sod off.

Court bans man called Peter from calling himself Peter

Olafthemighty
Happy

I imagine

The fuss will peter out soon enough.

Space junk at 'tipping point', now getting worse on its own

Olafthemighty
Pint

@ Siduri

+1 Internets for "grammatosphere" and another +1 for sneaking an Eye reference in there!

Don't buy your iPad in a McDonald's car park

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

I'm impressed

That they went to so much trouble to make it look nothing like an actual iPad!

Sky makes iPad trolley for square-eyed shoppers

Olafthemighty
Black Helicopters

They don't have to think.

They already know.

A Farewell to Oates: Adios, El Reg

Olafthemighty
Pint

Thanks, John

Some cracking stories over the years. G'luck.

<-- You've probably had enough for now but feel free to put this aside for later.

Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

Olafthemighty

Could have been worse...

Glass of milk and some natural yoghurt, anyone?

Firm at heart of biggest oil spill spews toxic web attack

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Spilt milk? REALLY?

If my hypothetical daughter were to spill some milk, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't fuck an ecosystem over or wreck too many people's livelihoods. Forgive my arse.

God, I hope you're trolling!

Google+ bans real name under ‘Real Names’ policy

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Google bots

Might have felt sorry for you!

COMET WILL DEFINITELY NOT HIT EARTH – NASA

Olafthemighty
Alert

I need to know!

Do we run _for_ the hills or away from them?

University rats on Sydney suburb

Olafthemighty
Coffee/keyboard

Mental picture

Thanks - now I have it too!

Apple changed shape of Galaxy Tab in court filing

Olafthemighty
FAIL

@technohead

El Reg? Biased TOWARDS Apple? Oh, you are quite new here.

Hobbyist killed by home-made hovercraft

Olafthemighty
Pint

@ deshepherd

Thanks for that - I was starting to think I was the only person who'd bothered to read the original!

<-- Not while operating heavy machinery though.

It's official: Journos are dumb as a bag of IE users

Olafthemighty
Pint

Aah, give the man some credit...

That was some quality digging!

'Up to' broadband claims out of control, says Ofcom

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

@ LC

Thanks for that! Saved me posting a reply myself..... oh, bugger.

Parmo v poutine: The ultimate post-pub nosh deathmatch

Olafthemighty
Pint

It's exactly this sort of stupidity...

That's kept me coming back here for the last 10 years!

Excellent Friday article.

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