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* Posts by Olafthemighty

150 posts • joined 22 Sep 2009

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Screw Internet-of-Things: Boffins build Internet-of-Sound UNDERWATER

Olafthemighty
Coat

Re: To be named....

Interwet!

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Police 'stumped' by car thefts using electronic skeleton key

Olafthemighty
Devil

@ Stacey

Welcome to Leicester - the town where Primark was about the only shop that got looted in the "riots".

Class? Never heard of it!

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Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack in bullet-hard chickpea drama

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

Ooooh, that makes a difference!

I'm sure the last sentence ended "fundraising goat" the first time I read the article...

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John Sweeney: Why Church of Scientology's gravest threat is the 'net

Olafthemighty
Headmaster

Re: Hmmm

Psychlos - nutters on bicycles?

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Behold: China's robot noodle army!

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Re: Pictures or it didn't happen

@James: Playmobil.

You're welcome.

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Samsung chucks 'free' Galaxy S III at dragon sketcher

Olafthemighty
Black Helicopters

@Nick

Almost all of them, apparently. Scary page.

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie

Olafthemighty
Happy

Blue cheese.

Gotta have blue cheese. And brown sauce.

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ICANN eggfaced after publishing dot-word biz overlords' personal info

Olafthemighty
Stop

Re: in regard to the whole gTLD "choose your own" auction (now fiasco)

Two words: Ker. Ching.

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Samsung's projector phone beamed up to Blighty

Olafthemighty
Alien

Can't imagine I'd actually use the projector much

So why do I still want one?

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Pint-size gizmo shoots X-RAY LASER for first time

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Go boffins!

<-- Obviously.

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Flying Dutchman creates dead cat quadcopter

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

Re: Does anyone know...

Somewhere in the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, if memory serves me correctly.

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Spy under your car bonnet 'worth billions by 2016'

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

@Wombling_Free

...or, if you're feeling particularly brave, a gentle pull on the handbrake will result in a decrease in speed with no obvious indication. The look on their face when they realise you're suddenly going a bit slower than they are can be priceless, I understand.

I do not endorse this kind of behaviour.

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Computer nostalgia is 10 PRINT 'BOLLOCKS'

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

Re: Computer nostalgia is 10 PRINT 'BOLLOCKS'

Indeed. I remember spending many an hour typing out a several-hundred line program from <insert name of forgotten magazine here>, only to get

SYNTAX ERROR AT LINE 60.

Ahhh, happy days!

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Lingerie-clad she-devils romp past watchdog

Olafthemighty
Pint

Re: That's got more nudity...

You, sir, just made my day!

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Scientists weave battery into clothing

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

2 questions...

1) Is it waterproof and shark-friendly?

2) Could it power a laser?

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Cosmic rays blamed for Phobos-Grunt fiasco

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

Quite possibly...

The best sub-head ever!

Reminds of Men Behaving Badly.

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NASA: Solar system may have alien origin

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

@ deadlockvictim

Yes; in / on Magrathea. In outer space. Doi.

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Try a 'shroom before ruling on chill pills, boffin tells gov

Olafthemighty
Happy

YAY!

Fun AND good for you - not much else you can say that about these days!

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YouTube tops one hour of video uploads per second

Olafthemighty
Holmes

@ Grease Monkey

About 0.3 standard nyans-worth.

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How can family sysadmins make a safe internet playground for kids?

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

@Cheesy

That was a very reasonable and well-presented comment. Are you new here?

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Iranian coder faces execution 'for building smut websites'

Olafthemighty
WTF?

RE: Oh dear

What scares me is not just the original post but that 2 people apparently agreed with it. What the fuckitting fuck? PLEASE tell me they didn't actually RTFA.

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Phages: The powerful new bio-ammo in superbug war

Olafthemighty
Boffin

RE: At what point did "chemistry" become "life"?

About 2.30 in the afternoon. I think it was on a Thursday.

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Tiny frog claimed as smallest vertebrate ever

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

Yup.

Exactly the sort of determined journalism that keeps me coming back here - you don't get that kind of insight from the Beeb!

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NASA's ageing black hole-stalking probe switched off

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up
I take it we're all invited then! Venue details required..
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Huawei uncloaks sleek, slim, sexy smartphones

Olafthemighty
Flame

I do!

My right trouser pocket is my phone pocket; nothing else ever goes in there (apart from a little bit of fluff). I have yet to scratch, dent, mangle or otherwise damage a single bit of any phone so ner to you!

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Comet Lovejoy spotted plunging toward fiery doom

Olafthemighty
Coat

Beacause...

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Sorry - bad day. Mine's the one with a pocket full of dried frog pills.

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Super black hole about to scoff speeding space dinner

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

Space is AWESOME! In the true sense, not the farcebook sense.

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CERN: 'New physics starts now'

Olafthemighty
Happy

Very true

Saw a headline about this on the beeb this morning and thought "ah good, El Reg'll do this properly later."

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Busty Ohio mannequin survives assassination attempt

Olafthemighty
Pint

"Chestacular"?

Lester, for crimes against the English language, I sentence you to beer. Please keep up the good work!

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Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

Olafthemighty
Headmaster

@Jay

True enough, but our tornadoes are shit.

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Blighty promised £43m prang-predicting supercomputer

Olafthemighty
Stop

"Ambitious and forward looking"?

That sounds worrying like a gubmint euphemism for "unlikely to actually get off the ground" or possibly "top of the pile when the next round of cuts are announced".

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Christmas gamma burst stupendo-explosion DEATHMATCH

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

"Stupendity"

Nice one!

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Phobos-Grunt 'crippled by US aurora station', 'is a bio-weapon'

Olafthemighty
Megaphone

@mky

Apparently it can be a breach of the peace too :o(

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Biology miss punts homemade smut to pupils

Olafthemighty
Childcatcher

@Olaf

(Sorry - reply button not working)

http://m24digital.com/2011/11/27/junin-profesora-muestra-por-error-un-%E2%80%98video-hot%E2%80%99-a-sus-alumnos/

You're welcome.

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Car safety agency sparks e-car battery probe

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Remove the batteries before you have an accident?

If Apple made electric cars, maybe.

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Apple fanbois get app to summon store staff

Olafthemighty
Gimp

Make it idiot proof...

And someone will make a better idiot.

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Mars rover Curiosity autographed by Obama

Olafthemighty
Alien

I *really* hope

Obama's signature says something unbelievably rude in Martian!

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Hacker cuffed in job interview sting with hotel he blackmailed

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

Tw@t

That is all.

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Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

Olafthemighty
Facepalm

Don't stick it in the crazy?

NOW you tell me!

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US quakes before MENACING TURKEYS, snow globes

Olafthemighty
WTF?

I don't understand.

W-h-y... d-i-d... t-h-e-y... r-e-c-o-r-d... t-h-a-t... a-t... h-a-l-f... s-p-e-e-d? Weird.

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Enormous orbiting solar raygun power plants touted

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

>"but these aren't going to be orbital death beams"

Orbital death beams? What orbital death beams? Nobody mentioned orbital death beams. What aren't you telling us?

<-- Dooomed, I tell ye.

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Voyager 2 finally agrees to a long hard thrust

Olafthemighty
Childcatcher

Communicating with a distant spacecraft is very much like making love to a beautiful woman

Read that post back through as if you're 14, making every third word or so a double-entendre and several of the steps are strikingly similar...

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Nude lady recreates Star Wars tauntaun scene in dead horse

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

@TRT

Apart from the smiling and the lack of clothes, yes.

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Apple was OK to fire man for private Facebook comments

Olafthemighty
Happy

What, no comment from Apple?

That's unlike you guys!

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Inside WD's flooded Thai factory

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

@wossname

Shan't.

It should be plain to see that humans frequently deal with the flood of emotions created by an event such as this with humour. It doesn't mean we don't feel sympathy for those affected.

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Avira anti-virus labels itself as spyware

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

May I be the 27th person to say

<nelson muntz> Ha ha! <\nelson muntz>

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Man builds smartphone dock into arm

Olafthemighty
Thumb Up

That's all well and good

But will it blend?

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Swedish password hacking scandal widens

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Wow.

Makes you guys look like rank amateurs in the field of personal information dispersal!

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Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment

Olafthemighty
Boffin

@Ian

Shirley you've got that the wrong way round. Didn't he turn gold into crap?

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Libel reform vows to slay anonymous trolls

Olafthemighty
Mushroom

Well...

I was going to complain about someone complaining about my as-yet unformed complaint but I guess I now have to complain about the fact that I can't.

This is getting complicated. My brain hurts.

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