I'd like to thank Lord Amstrad

... for making it possible for an impoverished comp sci student to buy an IBM PC compatible (as we used to call them). Had twin 5 1/4 floppies and a choice of DR DOS+ and GEM or MS-DOS and nothing. Later I added a 20MB hard drive. That's MB as in megabytes.

-A.

Re: so i guess

I've seen a Siemens ATM in Paris displaying the full Windows desktop -- including the icons for IE and Outlook Express. Really useful for an ATM, but I suppose they are "integrated" into the O/S.

-A.

Good idea

"Stopping spam at its source, as well investing in state-of-the-art spam filtering technology, will save time and money, and will pay dividends to the planet by reducing carbon emissions as well."

Yes. But that's not what McAfee's filtering thingy does, is it? Just preventing the recipient from seeing the spam doesn't stop it being sent in the first place.

We need to cut the spammers' goolies off. It's the only answer.

-A.

Re: Isn't it about time..

You certainly aren't "the only country in the world to pay a tax to watch TV and support a single TV company as a result".

In France it's called the Redevance Audiovisuelle, and it funds France Télévisions. Astonishingly, the buggers carry advertising as well! And it really is a tax, collected by the tax office - they assume you have a telly and add it to your local tax bill unless/until you can prove otherwise.

Wikipedia lists 35 countries with TV licence regimes.

-A.

EV0-RR

Impressive looking indeed, but why is there a crankcase cover poking out of the fairing side?

-A.

Re: 3M???

No, the database will be on CDs. The passwords will be on PostIt notes.

-A.

self-proclaimed public service broadcaster

<quote src="http://www.channel4.com/about4/overview.html">

The Channel's primary purpose is the fulfilment of its public service remit, which was most recently defined in the 2003 Communications Act.

</quote>

So proclaimed by statute, then.

-A.

the full Windows experience

Incoming Call Access Denied

You need to confirm this operation.

[ Continue ] [ Skip ] [ Cancel ]

Too late, It's gone to voicemail.

-A.

Status symbols

It used to be true that possession of a laptop indicated status, but these days every fecker's got one. In my organisation, PHBs now demand an Apple logo on their etch-a-sketches.

-A.

L-ion

Surely Li-ion?

-A.

Re: French phones unlocked

Nah. All French phones are (legally) unlockable, once you've had them for a minimum 6-month period. You can freely buy unlocked iPhones in Andorra, but be ready to hand over 700-odd Euros.

-A.

I'll be buggered

I live in France and have a Carte Bleue, but being English I habitually navigate their website in my maternal language. That does not offer Carte Bleue as a means of payment, so I've been paying the Visa charge every time up until now!!!! I just tried it in French, and it is indeed free for the CB. Bugger, bugger, bugger.

-A.

Group policy

My guess is that it takes about 30 seconds to boot, then 14.5 minutes to apply group policy objects. My new-ish four-core work machine (with XP) originally went from black screen to login prompt in mere seconds. Then it was assimilated into Active Directory, and now I try to avoid switching it off.

-A.

Bang to rights

A long time ago I worked for those guys and can confirm that they are indeed shameless crooks -- they cheated me out of a month's salary and a promised pay rise. Pity that British justice wasn't up to the job.

-A.

ARM *not* a chip maker

ARM is a chip designer. Other companies license the design and do the actual silicon bashing.

-A.

er, no

You shouldn't believe everything written on the BBC website, especially if technology related.

There was no real mode in Windows 3.1[1], so the minimum processor was an 80286. IIRC, you needed at least 1MB of RAM to run in standard mode, 2MB for 386-enhanced mode.

-A.

@Neil Greatorex

This more to your liking?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1435307/Telegraph-Style-Book-A.html

-A.

it certainly is A hotel

http://www.guardian.co.uk/styleguide/page/0,,184838,00.html

Using "an" in front of an aspirated H is just affectation.

-A.

Americanish

If it runs on a computer it's a program. If it is shown on a British television channel, it's a programme.

-A.

Forget the UK

They're playing catch up with the southern neighbour. Andorra has been digital-only since last September.

-A.

Secret telephone calls

No need for VoIP: just use random public phone boxen. Sucks to your expensive silo.

-A.

Tardigrade

Isn't that a scale for measuring degrees of fanboiness?

-A.

Full screen

Opera is the only browser that really lets you browse with absolutely no chrome at all -- provided you are au fait with mouse gestures. It's well worth getting acquainted if your screen isn't as big as you'd like.

-A.

Proper function

Does Windows Mobile function properly on any hardware?

-A.

P-p-p

Postmaster begins with P. That must be why it gets so much spam.

-A.

Re: I'm confused

It's not an oversight.

In order to substantiate its claim that IE is "integrated" into Windows and can't therefore be removed to please anti-trust lawyers, Microsoft scattered much of its code among various system DLLs. By definition there can only be one copy of such OS components on the system.

So, when you install the Beta browser, you also get a bonus bunch of buggy new code integrated into the operating system. Result!

-A.

I want this phone

... running PalmOS. When are they going to sort that out?

Some more pixels would be nice, too.

-A.

Surely it's...

... Bollix Johnson? (Try Benny Hill pretending to be Japanese.)

-A.

The future's French

I live in France, and believe me, Orange's problem has a name: France Telecom.

-A.

Foibles

Since I'm not a sysadm I don't care much about the relative merits of Domino and Exchange. As a user, I used to think that Notes was the worst email client in existence, until we were migrated to Outlook.

Outlook is amazing: it makes Notes look good. Maybe not in an eye-candy way, but certainly for functionality. And the UI foibles? You get used to them. Personally, I will never forgive Outlook for re-purposing Ctrl+F to mean Forward. It means Find, dammit! And on that subject, Notes/Domino just pisses all over Outlook/Exchange for doing something useful like actually finding stuff.

-A.

Other alternatives

Don't forget chewy, gristly, stringy, inedible.

-A.

Hello moto

In Spain, and most of Europe, "moto" refers exclusively to motorcycles. Hence, for example, MotoGP. Your average bike doesn't have a steering wheel, and touch screens don't work well with gloves.

-A.

Re: Re: Connexion

Merkin? From Lewis?

<quote src="American dictionary" href="http://m-w.com/dictionary/connexion">

chiefly British variant of connection

</quote>

Small matter

French law requires carriers to unlock handsets only after you've had them for six months, so it's not a quick fix.

-A.

Amstrad quality

I remember a friend buying an Amstrad tuner back in the 70s. It was dead on arrival, but being reckless teenagers we decided to have a look inside before sending it back. After whipping the back off it, the first thing we noticed was a quality control "passed" sticker. The second thing was the rubber band that should have been connected to the tuning knob lying in the bottom of the chassis.

Still, I'd have never been able to afford my first PC-compatible without Sir Alan's low-cost magic. Ah, the joys of Turbo Pascal, I'm coming over all nostalgic.

-A.

Re: Refueling locations?

Never been to a gas station , but I'd expect to find hydrogen there, what with it being a gas. My vehicles run on petrol, so I refuel at petrol stations.

-A.

Intel could help itself here

Where are the open source drivers for Centrino?

-A.

So...

Topless woman goes into a bar, says 'Burman, give me a Martoni'. After a moment's reflection he serves her a Martini, which she knocks back. 'Burman, give me another one of those Martonis'. Again a Martini is served, and knocked back. A little later, 'Burman...', but the barman interrupts ' you want another Martoni?'. 'No thanks, burman, these Martonis are giving me hearburn.' The barman eyes her up and down, then replies 'lady, let me explain a few things. It's not burman, it's barman. It's not Martoni, it's Martini. And it's not heartburn, your left tit is in the ashtray.'

Punchline

No one else reminded of the joke that starts "Topless woman goes into an a bar, says 'Burman, give me a Martoni'..."?

Reg units

142g indeed. By sheer coincidence that happens to be pretty much exactly five ounces. Or 40 eighths.

-A.

Opera is fastest

On all platforms, Opera's best. I'm often surprised how slow other browsers are, and it's not just because of popup and other advertising blocking, much though those are reason enough to adopt the Norwegian browser. Microsoft should buy the company, though I sincerely hope they don't.

-A.

@alyn

Do read the article first -- it was designed by the Taiwanese. Renault's chief designer is an Englishman. Look up "battle of Verdun".

-A.

Thank Bob for HotSync

I lost my Treo 650 a few weeks ago, so this came at almost exactly the right time. I filled in with a spare Sony Ericsson handset, but I missed the proper keyboard for texting and couldn't face typing in all my contacts again. Now I've got my Centro, I don't need to... plug in to USB, press the HotSync button, and a few moments later I've got my old phone back again -- but in a sexy new package.

Can't say I would have "upgraded" had I not lost the old Treo. PalmOS badly needs UMTS/HSDPA, though the Centro is EDGE enabled, and browsing is definitely faster. Blazer isn't quite as brain-dead as before, and no longer re-fetches the entire page when you hit the back button. Why is there still no WiFi?

So, it has a nicer form factor than a Treo 6X0, a better camera, and Google maps. The price is nice too, and it's dead easy to use.

-A.

Outlook does something amazing

It makes Notes look like a good email client. Quite an achievement.

-A.

Imaginary exchange rate

Not that I doubt the Mirror, of course, but it's some time since £150 bought you 250 euros.

http://www.micromania.fr/vente/rayon.php?mach=WII&format=Console

I got mine in Andorra for EUR220. No VAT there.

-A.

On to is TWO prepositions.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/styleguide/page/0,,184819,00.html

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/tools_and_services/specials/style_guide/article986733.ece

On to. Two words.

I don't mind mobe and lappy, but please stop using *onto. There is no such word.

-A.

Sever

Windows sever 2008? Is that the one that cuts its own ethernet cable in the interests of humanity?