Peer-to-peer trusted system updates?
Why is a klaxon going off in my head?
2288 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009
Why is a klaxon going off in my head?
A DIY joke kit.
Add a few words of your own and make something funny.
I heard from a colleague in the hospital that they once had a lady in for surgery who had green dyed pubes and a tattoo across the top of it reading "Keep off the grass".
When the lady woke up, the theatre nurse had written across her belly in surgical marker pen "Sorry, we had to mow the lawn."
I was searching for "curtain rings"
It was tagged with incorrect labia.
City University Network Team.
Mmmyah... OK. I'll buy that explanation and send back the tinfoil hats.
I got a spam email from some company saying I could get an osteopath appointment within 8 hours if I signed up to this website etc etc... don't put up with painful backache etc etc... strike while the iron is hot (or rather at the first twinge)...
And I thought it was just coincidence that the only thing I've ever received NHS treatment for is a bad back. I though it was just an osteopath company's spam.
But it wasn't. Oh no. I saw a poster later on that day. Same company, offering appointments for just about anything health related.
So how come I got a message tailored to back backs? I've never searched for an osteopath online. I've never searched "bad backs" on NHS direct or Google or anything...
I had to throw a load of these power line jobbies into a house where the Sky box simply refused to do WiFi anywhere else but in the front room and even then you could only connect whilst you were in the same room. When I did a scan, I found a neighbour to the back of the house was belting out three SSIDs across all the 2.4GHz channels and the output power was almost off the scale. For some reason all the photons were pooling up in my friend's kitchen; some weird lay-line type anomaly probably... there was bugger all mobile phone signal on any network either, but 30 foot outside on the road had 5 bars. Freaky house. The RCD kept tripping out as well, and the light bulbs keep blowing. I advised her to move.
I wouldn't take the RISC
In the middle of the night?
My op set is usually roll-left, sleep.
Never a problem with analogue TV, crystal clear in fact, but as soon as I installed terrestrial digital... sparkles, break-ups, EPG went nuts... and every time a train went by. I did live only 100 yards from the West Coast Mainline. Those things throw out a lot of interference.
Some workings of a fountain/stream at More London burst and flooded an underground substation. Took weeks to dry out. They parked the genny under my window, cue diesel fumes 24//7. Eventually, after a couple of days of shaking, the Victorian-era underground tunnel between the hospital buildings started to collapse and the genny dropped a foot or two into the pavement whilst the dry route to the secondary x-ray unit was barricaded off with more yellow and black tape than I've ever seen in my life before.
Nothing to add to the article really, just that there's more things when planning power backup strategy than just how many Watts and were to plug it in.
Or the politicians for setting them up in that position and keeping them there by constantly refilling the trough?
I probably pings a satellite every hour and sends off engine restart data...
Flashing lights on the corners of your car are not just for Christmas.
"Now this will be your first day in this strange new car park, so I want you all dressed up good and warm, and no playing with any naughty bug-eyed monsters."
Ha ha... thinking off all the airbags going off as the container ship lists in heavy seas off the Cornish coast just before dumping 200 Mercs into the briny depths, each mewling pitifully into the cellular network ether.
It will be mandatory whatever type of gear shift your vehicle is fitted with.
I don't think that's actually illegal...
Wouldn't the VIN be a useful piece of data to send so that the make, model and colour of the vehicle can be determined? Or do they get that from the caller ID? Will they need a whole new set of numbers just for these inbuilt phones?
A super-capacitor. My vehicle has one for the brake-assist servo that will power it for about 30 seconds after an otherwise total power failure.
Eventually they'll link the acceleration sensor of mobile phones to some sort of biometric sensor in, say, a watch, so that if a pedestrian or cyclist gets hit, the phone they were holding in their hand as they tried to cross the southbound slip road of junction 6 of the M62 will fall to the floor, trigger the sensor, and in conjunction with the fading pulse, a call will be placed to the ambulance service. Or the Coop.
I certainly think that the last 20 seconds of speed data should be transmitted along with the other information, and also the record of the "bums on seats" sensors and/or safety belts-buckled sensors.
Then there's also the issue of multiple-vehicle incidents. Will the system perform some sort of cluster analysis and determine that there's a two/three/four car incident at the same location, rather than load-balance the dispatch and route two ambulances from different stations to the same two car incident?
But... but... but... I sold my retinas so I could afford to buy an iWatch...
Fresh Win 7 x64 install and the Optional Software Updates list now contains Skype for Windows installer.
There's no way you're calling from Letchworth if you are coming in on that circuit, sir.
I know that. I'm an intergalactic hitch-hiker calling from a scout ship of the sales fleet of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation currently on the sub-light-speed leg of a journey between the stars known on your world, although not necessarily to you dear lady, as Pleiades Epsilon and Pleiades Zeta.
Do you mean Harmsworth?
Whilst the rest of the universe suffered terrible plagues spread by unexpectedly dirty telephones.
Chop wood, carry water???
Sounds like hard work to me. Is there an App for that?
A haptic is when you score three own goals in succession.
Trying to collect a parcel for someone else who lives in the same house as you has become a nightmare. They won't accept bills anymore.
"Yeah, you might have been riffling through someone's bins you see..." said the bloke handing me back my immaculate A4 file of bills from the last 7 years, and the current tenancy agreement in its plastic coated wallet, and my passport and my driving license with the address on, and a letter of authority signed by my flatmate.
"Does it look like this has come from the bins? And how did I get your little red card?" I ask.
"You might have gained access to the inside of the flat."
"In which case why would I bother with the risk of trying to pick up a parcel you attempted to deliver 4 days ago, and if I could get into the flat and had access to all this stuff, wouldn't I just steal a credit card to use that?"
"Only credit cards, passports and driving licenses. Them's the rules."
My flatmate has only one of those, and if I ask her for her credit card....???!!! And woe betide you if you forget your little red card saying that you weren't in.
If a pilot starts spiralling downhill badly, I'd be concerned for his aircraft and all aboard.
To get in the building, you need what, in the vernacular of the research establishment, is called a B-swipe. To operate the lifts out of hours, you need an L-swipe. To gain access to the "biological services unit", you need a much coveted, top-security clearance, X-swipe. To get into the next building along using the underground tunnel and not get wet, you need a C-swipe. And if you are planning on going to the toilet, be sure to take an R-swipe.
Does it float?
If it contains cold galaxies... do you think there are other brands of chilled chocolate in there?
Is it 'cos dey is Black(berry)?
No point beating about the Bush.
But did they nuke it from orbit?
You mean something that stops every 30 seconds to play an advert at you and you end up getting a virus from? No thanks.
But not the diodes down the left hand side.
Go og le.
So 'og' means 'stick your head in' and 'le' means a pig. Obvious really.
Google? More like an electronic stalking machine.
in the chain of complex organic molecule formation which could potentially indicate the location of organic life in space. It's vital that this research is not cut short. Someone should tell Roomba, we are not a lawn.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turdpiles
Just lob it into the sun on a rocket
Project "Saucerful of Secrets"?
I use the mineral-based litter myself,
I buy it for the cat to use...
Actually, I use a few sheets from The Daily Mail. Thankfully the cat can't read, so shouldn't suffer any ill effects. Though it does keep attacking one particular postman who just happens to be a union member.
And your brain. Alzheimer's anyone?