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* Posts by TRT

1752 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*

TRT
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A bit like the bomb that shouts, in the local language, when thrown "I'm a 30 second bomb! I'm a 30 second bomb! 29... 28... 27..." It lets you in on the act, but there's f* all you can do about the inevitable.

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TRT
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Re: Sure about that?

I did say "special" mapping... ;-)

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TRT
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Quite literally.

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TRT
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Re: It's the unwritten part of GTD...

Of course if the boss had asked the IT team to handle the responses in the first place any tech worth his salt would have taken that as an out-of-band special project (at double time) and spent at least three days of the four day bank holiday week developing and testing a horrendously complex mail filter / rule set to classify, sort, redirect and file the responses automatically. The net result of this "data cleansing" would, of course, reduce the incoming flow to effectively only two emails; those matching the filter "If (sender matches BOFH@company.com) or (sender matches PFY@company.com) move email to mailbox APPROVED, append file 'approved_by_CEO.txt', forward to PURCHASING@company.com"

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TRT
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A slight oversight giving away the fact he'd remapped the bosses keyboard using a special semi-Dvorak 135-key extended VT-102 layout he'd devised.

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MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

TRT
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Title suggestions?

Tsuranium!

Platform 238.

Reactorgeddon Oceanic.

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TRT
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Re: a yacht !

That's an artefact caused by x-ray impingement on the retina brought about by the relatively thin shielding around the core due to the reduced mass required so the buoyancy calculations would work.

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TRT
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And then no-one would be allowed into the entire ocean due to high radioactivity levels?

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ROBONAUT to find feet after Monday ISS supply mission

TRT
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Re: Wouldn't it be great if...

"Ha ha ha ha ha! We... ha ha ha... we... ha... put them on backwards by accident. Whooo hooo hooo ha ha ha."

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TRT
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Re: Why the white covering?

So it looks more this than this.

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Brit boffins use TARDIS to re-route data flows through time and space

TRT
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They'll have some stiff competition...

from the scientist developing the Dynamically Allocating Load-balanced Encryption Key System.

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It may be ILLEGAL to run Heartbleed health checks – IT lawyer

TRT
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Re: Dodgy website admins

If you are going to cruise the information superhighway, do it in style and wind down the windows.

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So you invent a wireless network using LEDs, what do you do next? Add solar panels. Boom

TRT
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Re: Oh, it's a *light bulb* comms channel.

eInk labels on the shelf-edge?

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Solar-powered aircraft unveiled for round-the-world flight

TRT
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Please, please...

tell me that Bertrand Piccard holds the rank of Captain.

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EE dismisses DATA-BURNING glitch with Orange Mail app

TRT
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I had their email service...

And when my computer got borked I lost the password for the pop server. Can you reset it? Not if you don't have the Orange number associated with that email account anymore. It uses a different password on the POP and the WebMail login. Absolutely impossible to get the POP password reset now. I've had to use webmail to autoreply everyone not to use that address anymore.

I killed my own Orange phone account when I realised what a right royal mess their customer services had descended to, but the kids liked to stay on there for the Film offer.

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UFO, cosmic ray or flasher? NASA rules on Curiosity curiosity

TRT
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Re: The chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one he said

"Puny humans. We Martians have developed a technique for transferring all of your acquired immunities to our own bodies."

"Damn, you got us beat straight this time, Marty. We might as well give ourselves up for your chow time now. So, for starters, may I recommend a carpaccio of Gaëtan Dugas?"

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TRT
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Re: One line, one pixel

They should never have bought that image processing filter software from JJ Abrams.

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TRT
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Re: It's John Carter's campfire...

Alan Carter's campfire more like.

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TRT
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Re: Too bad

DSM IV? Surely MM2 or The Manual Of The Planes?

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TRT
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Re: Is there...

It's flat at the bottom and the rest is diffuse. Could be a gas flare of some kind.

Is it a green mist?

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TRT
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Is there...

a large framed guy with incredibly bulgy eyes clawing at his collar and writhing in agony at the base of the said mountainous lump?

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Revoke, reissue, invalidate: Stat! Security bods scramble to plug up Heartbleed

TRT
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Re: thanks citrix

F5 you say? Crap.

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Apple to protect your gently roasting rear with 'iTanning' system

TRT
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That fits on your wrist?

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TRT
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Red Dwarf was right...

Talkie Toaster (tm).

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Wookiee! CHEWIE'S BACK in Star Wars Ep VII – blab Hollywood 'sources'

TRT
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Re: Star Wars partworks

Yeah. I reckon they got that decapitation idea from a bad batch of 5.25" figures.

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TRT
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Re: Is the film going to be sponsored by Samsung?

"My lord... The banking clans have released a new model of 'droid. It... it... has rounded corners, my lord."

"Nooooooooooo!"

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TRT
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Is the film going to be sponsored by Samsung?

"A long time ago, on a Galaxy far, far away..."

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Nominet bins Optical Express' appeal against 'It ruined my life' website

TRT
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I'm sure that the legitimate grounds for appeal...

would have been contained in the small print on the original finding.

Perhaps they should have gone to Specsavers.

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Rumour: Next Apple iThing to feature 65-inch screen. Four-limb multitouch, anyone?

TRT
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Ermm...

Put them in some Apple Stores and run advertising or demonstrations?

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Organic food: Pricey, not particularly healthy, won't save you from cancer

TRT
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You are Philomena Cunk and I claim my £5!

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TRT
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Re: Causes cancer, prevents cancer...

I hope you had a towpath cycling license...

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TRT
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Well, I came on here to leave a comment...

That it's going to be pretty bad for everyone if the bees die out etc etc.

but it looks like a lot of others got here first. And it's not just about not using chemicals, there's also good land management, soil enrichment, recycling of organic waste materials... a whole lot of stuff that got thrown out with the agri-chemical boom in the post-war years. Yes, there's hogwash and misinformation, but let's not throw the baby out with the bath water here.

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BEHOLD the HOLY GRAIL of TECH: The REVERSIBLE USB plug

TRT
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Re: Knowing which way 'up' the plug is

Thank NASA for their zero-G Connector range...

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TRT
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Re: and thy name shall be...

Super-Ultra-Fast-Interconnect, or SUFI for short. Appropriate, given there's the obligatory prayer for Allah to be merciful every time you plug it in.

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TRT
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Re: Am I the only one ....

5 amps through that hair's breadth piece of metal? What the flip kind of alloy are they going to use for that? Built in heatsink? Current USB implementations get warm at 500mA, let alone ten times that much. And you can't go ramping up the volts with pin separations a fraction under 1mm. Not in damp climates at least.

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TRT
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Re: all thumbs

With that Paris icon, I expect you'd prefer something much meatier to get your hands round as you plug it in.

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TRT
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Re: We have all experienced Schrödinger's USB stick@Michael H.F. Wilkinson

Now I demand a plug that can go in if it's rotated at 90° to the socket. Indeed ANY intermediate angle of rotation. Like my headphone socket.

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Is this photo PROOF a Windows 7 Start Menu is coming back?

TRT
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incorrect statement error...

Lego is fun to play with.

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TRT
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Re: For old times sake

It's pronounced "Windows h8"

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TRT
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The colours are just...

butt ugly too.

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How Microsoft can keep Win XP alive – and WHY: A real-world example

TRT
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Yeah, I get this...

Microscopes bought up to 10 years ago, still perfectly serviceable optically and electrically, some of which have had new lasers fitted at a cost running to the tens of thousands of pounds... and they are wired up via proprietary cameras to Win XP boxes that have e.g. ISA slots for bespoke controller boards, or XP only drivers for the boards or camera, or the installation disks have been lost. The microscope companies work on a low-volume, high cost, niche market idea, and the replacement camera gear compatible with a modern box can set a research group back £40,000 or more. That's around 400 experiments. And just one of those experiments might reveal something like a cure for Alzheimer's or cancer or Autism or Parkinson's.

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Middle England trembles before roaring LOHAN

TRT
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Typical...

burnout.

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Want to see at night? Here comes the infrared CONTACT LENS

TRT
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So... there's no emitter on the back of this, just a sensor. Where does the image form, then? On a Google glass screen which is in front of the sensor? Or in the other eye? (That'll be confusing).

Not useful for contact lenses at all, then.

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Dropbox nukes bloke's file share in DMCA brouhaha – then admits it made a 'HASH OF IT'

TRT
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Re: hash collision

Your file share with a work colleague on a collaborative project suddenly disappears 10 minutes before your presentation before the board...

it's hash brown trousers time.

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Can you tell a man's intelligence simply by looking at him? Yes

TRT
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Erm... that's genuine... the sexy equations thing. I used to work in that lab.

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BT Tower to be replaced by 3D printed BT Tower

TRT
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Of course...

the 3D printed version of Euston will be terminus to a 3D printed HS2...

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Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

TRT
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Re: Walk on, bye

Hmm... quite a solid little mounting bracket there, socket and post with twin screwdown bolts. Beats the candy-floss and gaffer tape UK method of fixing signs so that they spin round in the slightest breeze and every sign has to have its own post turning the pavement into a slalom and have you seen the price of the sangria and we've found a charming little bar that serves Watney's Red Barrel...

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TRT
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We've had official Monty Python street signs in the UK for years...

For example Upper class twit of the year contest.

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Homeopathic remedies contaminated with REAL medicine get recalled

TRT
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So that's why hogwash tastes of bacon...

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Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

TRT
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Re: Not prejudice, surely?

No, no, I'd have to disagree there. I see prison more as an opportunity to rehabilitate the itinerant individual so that they might rejoin society as a reformed character able to make a worthwhile contribution to the community as a whole.

Naff 'orf? Well really!

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