* Posts by TRT

2479 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Windows 10 Start menu replacements shifting like hot cakes

TRT
Silver badge

Re: Hardly surprising

I'm going to write a song called "Hey, Siri!" which should render it unplayable.

6
0

OFFICIAL SCIENCE: Men are freezing women out of the workplace

TRT
Silver badge

Re: Set to a range

Either that or, as Jonathan Ross would say, it's a feature of a womb thermostat.

1
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Set to a range

Hysteresis.

From Fr/Lat/Greek, hystera - womb.

From Greek, -esis - process.

Thus, a woman's way.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Mr I Ain't Spartacus

Set fire to the bodies and say it was spontaneous human combustion. Ah! That must have been why they kept turning the AC up...

6
0

Windows 10: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE to Microsoft's long apology for Windows 8

TRT
Silver badge

Re: Just one thing left to make it good

It's generally easier on a Mac to find various utilities using spotlight. "Net<return>" for network utility for example (a much used diagnostic) That works. Why I can't do the same for windows I don't know. On the Mac search for applications just works, on Windows, it's painful.

3
6

Windows 10: A SYSADMIN speaks his brains – and says MEH

TRT
Silver badge

Colourful invectives

That's more or less how I'd describe the retro ZX Spectrum colour scheme that Microsoft seem to have forced on users with Metro Tiles.

16
0

Lottery IT security boss guilty of hacking lotto computer to win $14.3m

TRT
Silver badge

Re: Lottery for idiots

Or go all old school and just smite them both. One for avarice and one for meanness.

3
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Proof of purchase

But if you're the shop owner and you get a big winning ticket handed to you for checking, you might be able to, say, tell the person it's only a £10 win (hence the different noise the machine makes when it matches a win).

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Lottery for idiots

And just what does God do with these two conflicting prayers, eh? "Lemme win, lemme win, lemme win!" "Don't let him win, don't let him win, don't let him win."

2
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: side effects?

Their prizes would have been bigger if the jackpot ticket hadn't won?

1
0
TRT
Silver badge

Are you saying...

that the UK lottery is a load of old balls?

:)

But if we are to look at cybercrime and the UK lottery, and the draw itself is impossible to cheat due to the physical nature of the draw, then we have to look to the ticket sales and accounting method for the weakness.

0
0

Google swears blind it doesn't give SEO advantage to new internet dot-words

TRT
Silver badge

I expect that will be the case.

.com will rank as highly as anything else. Until .search becomes the TLD for search engines like google, then I expect the story will change.

0
0

べーコンはどこですか? demands post-pub nosh fan

TRT
Silver badge

A smidge...

is the amount you can comfortably get on the end of a standard table knife.

It is the default unit of measurement for pastes and other semi-solids which one can't actually pinch in any useful kind of a way. If one were to use the "end of a table knife" measure for granular or powdered solids, such as salt or pepper, then you'd find that a "smidge" was larger than a pinch.

I'm disappointed that the Reg Standards hasn't yet been extended into the temporal realm.

For example, the three day figure given in the instructional video should be given as "1 stockpart", the stockpart being the standard unit of time it will take to get your hands on any part, component or spare described as "held in stock".

1
0

Robot surgeons kill 144 patients, hurt 1,391, malfunction 8,061 times

TRT
Silver badge

Re: I think you ought to know...

I would give you a thumbs up, but there's this terrible pain...

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

I think you ought to know...

I'm feeling very depressed.

4
0

Beaten blokes HATE the women who frag them in online games

TRT
Silver badge

Men have always been obsessed...

with pwnography.

2
0

Evil computers sense you’re in a hurry and mess with your head

TRT
Silver badge

You've heard of...

the criticality detector, right? That chip that's in all electronic appliances (computers have more than one) that detects the level of criticality of a particular task and triggers a malfunction whenever the level exceeds preset limits.

0
0

STARS SNUFFED in massive galactic whodunit

TRT
Silver badge

The galaxies are going out, one by one...

Is Dark Matter the remnant of matter that's been targeted by z-neutrino rays?

0
0

Ireland loses entire airport amid new postcode chaos

TRT
Silver badge

Re: County is not part of a UK postal address

The old postman was postman NAT, of course. He kept the service going years past its sell-by date, bless.

He'd put the packet in the holding stack and look up the local address on the table. 5% of packets were dropped from the table and ended up lost. Of course, you'd never know that if you sent it unsigned for.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: County is not part of a UK postal address

Let's see if I remember this right from my CCNA course...

The UK postcode is sufficient for it to reach the local area delivery point where a source of authority for that locality will be able to deliver the packet to the intended recipient. Packets are bundled together and put onto high capacity trunk carriers until they reach an intermediary node which has more knowledge of local routes. Of course, the UK postcode system will eventually reach capacity and a new addressing system will have to be used. This new system will probably be able to assign a unique address to each destination node...

Hang on... I'm getting a bit mixed up here, aren't I?

3
0

Sixty-five THOUSAND Range Rovers recalled over DOOR software glitch

TRT
Silver badge

Re: The good news is that once the door software is fixed

It is a pleasure to open for you and a satisfaction to close again with the knowledge that in a few moments we will be asserting our rightful lordliness over the plebs below.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

The doors on a LandRover...

You know when the door's about to open because of the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates.

4
0
TRT
Silver badge

Oddly my brother, an ex-army vehicle mechanic, said the same when he found a post on the Evoque assembly line.

0
0

What do you MEAN, 'Click on the thing which looks like a Mondrian?'

TRT
Silver badge

I hate pictograms.

Give me menus with proper words on them any day.

And that looks nothing like Tetris. I'd describe it as "the button that looks vaguely like the diagram that explains the derivation of 'A'-series paper sizes. What do you mean you've no idea what 'A'-series paper sizes are? You've head or A4, right? And you've heard of A3, right? And you know that if you cut a piece of A3 in half down the long side you get two sheets of A4? You didn't know that even? I can see we're going to have problems."

4
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Why do you keep using the phrase "training course"?

I kind of think of it like The Stations of the Cross.

0
0

Silly Google's Photos app labelled BLACK PEOPLE as GORILLAS

TRT
Silver badge

Re: You *sure* she meant "white car"?

Accuracy and not getting your dad gunned down in a drive-by for teaching his kids to 'dis the local drug dealer are two different skill sets.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Initially it was trained in a landscape of spheres, cuboids and pyramids.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Stuff kids say

My daughter reached the linguistic ability of being able to put adjectives and nouns together quite early on, but her speech was somewhat indistinct. "White car" sounded more like "Whan Car"... which she shouted very loudly whilst pointing at at a passing BMW with windows wound down, lowered suspension, trailing "aromatic" smoke like a Pacific 4-6-2 and at an gap between tracks 19 and 20 of the album "Murder Junkies" that had been pounding out of the ICE as it approached... one can only be grateful that the driver was probably momentarily suffering hearing loss as a result of the incredible volume.

17
0
TRT
Silver badge

Reminds me a bit...

of that scene in Die Hard With A Vengeance where John McClane has to walk around Harlem with a sandwich board...

Except Google don't have any sort of noble rationale behind why they are doing something so utterly stupid and offensive.

1
26

UK TV is getting worse as younglings shun the BBC et al, says Ofcom

TRT
Silver badge

Re: Jeremy Kyle...

I wouldn't call that "live" TV. More kind of "undead".

10
0

German army fights underground Nazi war machine hidden in Kiel pensioner's cellar

TRT
Silver badge

Channels Lori Petty.

Jet Girl: You see, this tank isn't... isn't...

Tank Girl: What? Just one little adjective and we'll have a *whole* sentance. Isn't, glad, sad... mad... Lonely...

Jet Girl: Isn't... Operational.

Tank Girl: [seizes Jet by the throat] How do I know you're not lying?

Jet Girl: [choking] Because if, if I was lying, your lungs would be full of cyanide gas.

[Tank releases her]

Tank Girl: Cool! So we get a new tank.

2
0
TRT
Silver badge

I've got a tank in my basement...

And if you try to remove it, you'll be in hot water. 33 gallons of hot water to be precise.

13
0

Facebook unveils SECRET logo furtle – in a TWEET

TRT
Silver badge

"to reflect its maturity"

By adopting a somewhat less mature approach to typography? Why didn't they go the whole hog and do it in Comic Sans?

3
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Pure Douglas Adams ...

Well it *is* a heavily modified face flannel... perhaps they want to be seen as hip, cool and masochistic.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: ?? It's not a towel...

It's a faceflannel.

2
0

Oil & gas? Pah. We’ve got a MASSIVE 3D printer, beams Dubai

TRT
Silver badge

Re: During the meanwhile ...

And since July last year, you can only rent them.

5
0

‘Clandestines' prompt British border blockade in France

TRT
Silver badge

All in all it's just another...

Do we have an army of sentient claw hammers that can be deployed as well?

13
0

Congratulations! You survived the leap secondocalypse

TRT
Silver badge

The Time Lords transcended...

such simple mechanical devices many centuries ago.

0
0

Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

TRT
Silver badge

There are three still operational, but only one with an airworthiness certificate. The others are taxi duty only.

1
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Photobombing

And the setting is strangely reminiscent of another "Vulcan wedding". Let's hope the groom didn't have to fight the best man to the death with a giant metal lobster claw.

3
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Aiming Error

Major Argentine cities were thus demonstrated to be within range of a very heavy punching British bomber. The Government said they wouldn't hit the Argentine mainland, but it was very clear that was just the word of a politician rather than for any technical reason.

14
0

World+dog will soon watch 'at least 200 pr0n vids a year'

TRT
Silver badge

Sounds like an opportunity

for retinally stabilised smartphone displays.

0
0

Layoff-happy Capita charges staff to use cutlery in canteens

TRT
Silver badge

Virgin Media...

But if you take a knife, fork and spoon all together, you get a 4p discount, which makes it great value to take all three. If you just take a knife and fork, however, you can add on a cup for a small extra charge as an existing customer...

1
0
TRT
Silver badge

From the HSE guidance booklet on the 1992 workplace regulations...

"Where workers regularly eat meals at work, suitable and sufficient facilities should be provided for the purpose. Such facilities should also be provided where food would otherwise be likely to be contaminated. Work areas can be counted as rest areas and as eating facilities, provided they are adequately clean and there is a suitable surface on which to place food. Where provided, eating facilities should include a facility for preparing or obtaining a hot drink. Where hot food cannot be obtained in or reasonably near to the workplace, workers may need to be provided with a means for heating their own food (eg microwave oven). Canteens or restaurants may be used as rest facilities provided there is no obligation to purchase food."

and

"An adequate supply of high-quality drinking water, with an upward drinking jet or suitable cups, should be provided. Water should only be provided in refillable enclosed containers where it cannot be obtained directly from a mains supply."

So... the cup thing is bang out of order unless they have fountains. At first, I thought "fair enough; if they only have plastic cutlery, which is shitty anyway, in the canteen what's the problem charging if people are using it for home cooked meals - bit mean, but able to be reasoned". Then I thought about it a bit more, and yeah, bunch of tossers.

1
0

BBC veterans require skilled hands to massage their innards

TRT
Silver badge

I've got a box of spare clicks somewhere...

You know, the heavy, clunky type of click that they don't put in modern keyboards. They were for IBM M series, but I think they should fit in a BBC as well.

2
0

Hide the HUD, say boffins, they're bad for driver safety

TRT
Silver badge

Nothing at 10,000 feet

until you encounter an Apple iCarHover.

1
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Wrong question

You already know I drive a Prius from another post. One interesting thing I've noted is that at exactly 30mph the electric motor produces a sort of very quiet, pleasant throbbing, mewling noise; like a basket of contented kittens. The pitch changes slightly at about 2mph either side of the cute spot, and disappears altogether at ±5mph. I dislike the 20 zones that have appeared all over London. It's quite hard to stick at 20mph, especially at 5am with an Addison Lee right up your arse.

So, a multimodal feedback system might be more appropriate. Subtle haptic and audible cues combined with an info panel, possibly linked to eye tracking.

4
0

Abort, abort! Metal-on-metal VIOLENCE as Google's robo-car nearly CRASHES

TRT
Silver badge

Re: They need some machine guns

Double indemnity. Dynamite with a laser beam.

0
0
TRT
Silver badge

Re: A World's first: an Audi that aborts a lane change. @TRT

I don't drive it because of the environmental credentials (if you can call them that nowadays). It was cheap, very quiet, easy to drive, roomy and packed with gadgets. And I'm not in any hurry to get anywhere in particular.

0
0

Giant male member spontaneously ejaculates over Norway

TRT
Silver badge

What a massive...

prick.

0
0

Forums