* Posts by TRT

3901 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Ever longed to be naked in Paris? City council votes TODAY

TRT
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I believe public masturbation...

isn't illegal on the continent.

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Brain plague or estate agents? I know which I'd prefer in Virtual Reality

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"But what is reality?" asked the gnomelike man.

He gestured at the tall banks of buildings that loomed around Central Park, with their countless windows glowing like the cave fires of a city of Cro-Magnon people. "All is dream, all is illusion; I am your vision as you are mine."

There was a moment of chaos. The liquid before Dan's eyes clouded suddenly white, and formless sounds buzzed. He moved to tear the device from his head, but emerging forms in the mistiness caught his interest. Giant things were writhing there.

Pygmalion's Spectacles, Stanley G. Weinbaum, 1935.

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SpaceX: Breach in liquid oxygen tank caused Falcon 9 fireball ... probably

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Fireball...

I wish I was a spaceman. The fastest guy alive. I'd fly you round the universe.

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R2D2 delivery robots to scurry through the streets of San Francisco

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Paris Hilton

Re: fixed hazards will be the real challenge

Paris just isn;t the same without all the dog shit everywhere.

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Re: @Big John -- The same goes for the Amazon Drones

Sr'mechs and floor flippers.

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Re: Screw the Jawas!!

At 3.7mph, you'll be dead of food poisoning before you can complain.

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Heathrow airport and stock exchange throw mystery BSODs

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That's not a BSOD

That's the angry fruit salad of death.

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Smelly toilets, smokers and the Kardashians. Virgin Media staff grill top brass

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Re: "Whats (sic) your favourite Kardashian?"

Gul Madred. Those were two of the best episodes ever.

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Do AI chat bots need a personality bypass – or will we only trust gabber 'droids with character?

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Re: The speaking phish

I can hear Wolfie barking. Is everything OK?

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British unis mull offshore EU campuses in post-Brexit vote panic

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Re: Re:entire villages of empty properties?

And if you're building a new university... where do you put it? Near the places with the empty houses. Mountain meet Mohammed.

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Re: Ireland

Aren't there entire villages of empty properties?

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Ok, so...

All the UK universities build a building or "buy" a floor in a building on a new University of Europe in, say, Ireland. Persuade Apple to spend a bit of that £13b building it - if it gives a non-EU country access to research funding and collaboration and working rights, then there's no stopping USA universities from having a presence there... could be the start of something wonderful.

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Shopkeeper installs forecourt khazi to counter mystery Dublin dung dumper

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Will the wee fecker...

visit for a turd time?

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I want to remotely disable Londoners' cars, says Met's top cop

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JAFO

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Behold the fruit of your techie utopia: A $43 San Francisco fog-infused martini

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That crunchy stuff round the rim...

Let me guess, it's neither salt nor sugar...

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Re: fanny batter champagne

Mind bleach... quick!

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Virgin Media costs balloon by MEEELLIONS in wake of Brexit

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Me. And as soon as various negotiated deals I had with them expired and they refused to renew them (they didn't have the capacity for a phone line to accompany the TV & Broadband, so I was unable to get certain deals through no fault of my own), the costs started creeping up and up and up.

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Lenovo denies claims it plotted with Microsoft to block Linux installs

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RAID...

improves performance? Was there only one SSD in the box? I think so. So, WTF are they on about?

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Asian hornets are HERE... those honey bee murdering BASTARDS

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Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

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Re: Cadburys

But we still have Mars in the UK, although part of Mars international. If this had happened to one of their products, we'd be coming over all Ziggy Stardust now.

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Re: What A Way To Go....

The Blue Knob of Death?

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Re: Doctor, help me, a spider gave me this huge erection!

Well, it wouldn't be the first time you got a hard-on from something off the web.

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Re: You you really think so? Here?

You have a point...

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Re: If you sell someone edible goods, and they come with venomous spiders...

That would have to be a very evil enterprise indeed. Evil ASDA, part of Evil Megacorp Inc.

"Banana?"

"Banana!"

"BANANA!"

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Re: What A Way To Go....

That would be pronounced "My-co--za-flow--pin".

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Is there an antidote?

And how quickly does the antidote work? I'm just trying to work out the window of opportunity here.

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Reg Programming Compo: 22 countries, 137 entries and... wow – loads of Python

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Re: Daley Thompson. BORING?

The death of many a joystick. I favoured the TAC-2's all metal construction - a stainless steel shaft through a shaped neoprene washer to provide the centering force, a large stainless steel ball screwed onto the shaft made contact with one or two of the four large brass sprung plates in the base. The fire buttons were large brass washers push fitted onto chunky solid plastic moulded buttons, held in place by large compression springs.

Almost indestructible, it was let down by the lack of an auto fire function, which I supplied by building a small 555 circuit in a box which sat in-between the C64 and the joystick. I ended up making those to sell to school friends. Must have built a couple of dozen at least.

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Daley Thompson. BORING?

He spawned his own computer game... in case you were looking for an IT angle... ah... maybe not.

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She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

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Re: That's what happen when you have a Kirk...

Makes me wonder how many times one can actually be amused by the executive officer going on the ship-wide intercom and announcing "Bridge to Captain Kirk."

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Oooh!

You don't want to get contamination in your shaft lube.

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Man accused of $180k ass-based gold smuggling scam awaits verdict

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Surely it must have caused internal damage to some organs...

Could've wrecked 'em.

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"...found four pucks in Lawrence’s safety deposit box"

Never heard it called that before.

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A-dough-be: Photoshop flinger pumps profits 50 per cent

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Now if they had a model where they charged you, say, £1.50 for every day that you launched one of their products, and invoiced you on a monthly, quarterly or annual cycle, we might be looking at a model that would work in research, education etc.

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"should add a subscription model"

Correct. But that's not the issue. The problem is that they've removed the other models.

I work in a research lab where money is fixed, tight and people work in small teams. There's no monthly flow of income from clients settling bills; one has to predict ones requirements for a project and cost it in during the application cycle. We have people who might use Photoshop and Illustrator intensively for a few weeks every now and again when working up a publication and not at all the rest of the time. We can only buy through our purchasing system in 12 month blocks - it's prohibitively expensive and cumbersome to turn a subscription model on and off. We have little need of new features and every need to produce file types compatible with the publishing houses. We used to be able to buy a boxed product for ~£400 that could be installed for concurrent use across all group machines and it would work for the 3 or 5 years the grant would run. To achieve the same under CC costs ten times that much. Good for Adobe, not so good for medical research.

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I'd be happier to see...

figures relating to the installed customer base and customer satisfaction figures but of course money talks, and that's all investors are worried about. This might just be the extra drippings you get when you squeeze something dry. I hope their revenue stream falls off as people switch to software and companies that display less of the "fucking you in the arse and telling you that you love it" attitude.

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We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

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Huh?

How do you even eat that? Bite the dog ends off and make it round like a burger? Bite the burger wings off and eat it like a hotdog? Mind you, it's given me an idea... split the top of a burger bun down and drop a sausage in the cut.

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Apple seeks patent for paper bag - you read that right, a paper bag

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Re: Wow

Made of paper to avoid the 5p bag tax.

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Re: Now if only...

Crazy glue is made from unicorns.

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Now if only...

they could create a glue that was also made from pulped paper. That would actually be worth something. They make corrugated cardboard using starch glue, which is a by-product of crisp making and other potato processing methods. And the fibre crumple corner infills in the latest Apple shipping cartons are a step up from the expanded/moulded polystyrene bead efforts of yesteryear.

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ROBO-PLOD! 'Droid snatches scumbag's shotgun in standoff

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Re: @dvd

Of course the word exists in the UK. It's what someone from Birmingham might order in a Lancashire chip shop.

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Re: Silent Running?

The helicopter can be used to drop a robot into the danger zone. Of course, if they drop it accurately enough, the stand-off could be over in seconds.

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Uncle Sam rules on self-driving cars

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No-one...

has commented on their remarkable potential to make a significant dent in each other?

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Autonomous vehicles inquiry set up in the UK

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Using the autonomous driving facility in inappropriate conditions, perhaps. A torrential downpour would play havoc with most of the mid precision sensors, surely? It was nigh on impossible for a human to drive in the storms that hit us last Friday morning - dark, lightning, rain, leaves, bits of wood, dead pigeons, drunken revellers...

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Italian scientists use fluorescent box to arouse sexually indifferent men

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I wonder what effect staring at an illuminated computer screen all day has?

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So staring into The Sun...

could provoke an arousal response? Well, once upon a time I might have agreed with you.

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Conviction by computer: Ministry of Justice wants defendants to plead guilty online

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Trial by computer indeed....

why, it's inhuman!

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Any previous convictions?

Yes. And I'm banned from using the Internet for 5 yea... ah.

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Full disclosure?

Not since Theresa May got her hands on the justice system it's not. It's a battleground between prosecution and defence, and the requirement to disclose the defence plea and the primary case for the defence in advance of the trial is a logical abomination - the defence case can actually be used by the prosecution as evidence in its own case. Thus, for example, in a case of assault where the prosecution would have had to prove the presence of the accused at the scene and the fact of their involvement in any affray before going on to prove that the accused was the assailant etc etc, they can now take a plea of not guilty (by reason of self-defence) as proof of the accused's presence and involvement. So logically, by entering the reason for the plea, a defendant has been forced by the state to provide evidence implicating them in a crime. It was the case before as well with alibi evidence - you have to disclose the names and addresses of all your alibi witnesses to the prosecution, and the same with expert witnesses - this is understandable, perhaps.

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EU ends anonymity and rules open Wi-Fi hotspots need passwords

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Re: Users required to reveal identities

Excuse me, ve are looking for ze nu clee ar wessels.

"Have you any identification?"

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