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* Posts by Dan P

53 posts • joined 15 May 2007

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Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Dan P
WTF?

Erm, are you sure?

According to the Danish government, they haven't banned it, but they haven't had an application to sell it in Denmark from Marmite either...

http://www.amblondon.um.dk/NR/exeres/8A56692E-1780-495E-8176-F0E366653F52,frameless.htm?NRMODE=Published

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Don’t Look Now hailed top Brit movie

Dan P
FAIL

No Italian Job??

Fail. Utter fail. I mean, seriously, pure, utter and complete fail. FAIL I SAY!

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FBI serves 40 search warrants in Anonymous crackdown

Dan P
FAIL

Anonymous at....

... not very! Idiots.

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W3C tackles HTML5 confusion with, um, more confusion

Dan P
FAIL

Web 5.0?

I'm surprised that they didn't just go the whole hog and call it Web 5.0, given how it seems to cover every web-based or -enabled technology currently known to man.

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Shuttleworth's Ubuntu makes like Space Shuttle

Dan P
FAIL

Erm, about that metaphor...

Making like the space shuttle... er, the one that's being decommissioned next year and will no longer be taking off, that one?

Just wondering. ;-)

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Man wins $650k for stripper shoe eye snafu

Dan P
FAIL

Did he not think...

...that if you slap a half naked girl really hard on the arse when your face is at her foot-level then you're likely to get a face full of shoe? Strippers aren't renowned for wearing soft, fluffy slippers either, so I'm not surprised at the, imho wholly deserved, damage!

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MoD labels Facebook Places a 'targeting pack' for terrorists

Dan P
FAIL

Scaremongering Panic Wranglers Strike Again

Yet more people who obviously don't understand the functionality and can't be bothered to find out how it actually works spreading bullshit and generally scaremongering to try and cause panic. What a load of crap. With people like this around I'm surprised the internet got further than the fledgling network it started out as.

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Mozilla tames Firefox tab monster with Candy

Dan P

Hmm, solving a problem that isn't really there?

Whilst it looks nice and seems to work well, I don't actually see it as a problem that needs solving.

If I have too many tabs open in FireFox and want to group similar ones together, I just drag one off to the task bar which pops it into a new window on it's own, and then drag the similar ones to that window. Different tabs in different groups (windows). Done.

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Panasonic DMR-BW880 HD DVR

Dan P
WTF?

£800?

£800 for a PVR? Really?

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Google fashions Android dev kit for dummies (from Scratch)

Dan P
FAIL

Erm...

She wrote an app called HelloPurr and it miaowed?

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iPhone 4G blingmobe: Yours for £13k

Dan P
FAIL

The Weighty iPad

With regard to the iPad mentioned earlier in the comments...

"...solid Platinum rear section which weighs in at a huge 2,700 grams."

Is boasting that you've added 2.7Kg to a device which is supposed to be highly portable really something that people will think is cool enough to pay nearly £300,000 for? Personally I'd prefer to pay significantly less for something that fulfils it's purpose significantly better.

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Piles for Windows - a pain in the arse?

Dan P
FAIL

The Name's Amusing...

Er... but then so is the product by the looks of it. Are they really trying to suggest that the half a second or so involved in getting to a folder that you don't have open is such a productivity killer, and requires you to spend ten minutes or so setting something up that supposedly makes it easier?

But yeah, cue the 'Does navigating to you folders leave you feeling like you're sitting on a cold floor? Get Piles!' jokes.

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£99 iPhone stunt backfires

Dan P
WTF?

Re: How has this backfired?

I wouldn't call gaining a reputation for offering things that you can never deliver "flaggering press".

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Brighton NIMBYs complain over BT broadband upgrades

Dan P
FAIL

Personally...

Being from Brighton, I wish people would quit complaining and let them get on with it so that the network here can be upgraded, but then I guess these people don't make their livings in telecommunications, unlike myself.

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'The internet's completely over', declares petulant Prince

Dan P
WTF?

"They just fill your head with numbers and that cant be good for you."

Numbers - they're rather similar to symbols, aren't they? You know, that thing he supposedly changed his name to in an attempt to maintain his "cool" (as opposed to idiotic numbskull) image?

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Nipper's naked arse provokes Street View outrage

Dan P
FAIL

Re: A female spokesoperative said...

Have you considered the fact that you might have been mistakenly photographed by hundreds or perhaps even thousands of people whilst in public view? You know, those people out snapping holiday snaps, shots of their friends whilst you're walking past, shots of buildings, even perhaps (gasp!) a fine art photographer?

So presumably your perfect solution would be to have every photograph that gets taken in public be vetted by everyone in the world before it's 'approved' and allowed to be used by the photographer.

It's attitudes like that which lead to uninformed police officers harrassing innocent photographers for no legal reason.

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Romford coppers try to stopper young snapper

Dan P
WTF?

Simply Unbelievable...

Having watch the YouTube clip from start to end, this is utterly dispicable. The officers obviously don't have a clue about the law, and keep changing the reason they're stopping and eventually arresting him, ranging from taking photographs of children with their parents present, the military, frontline police officers, and finally citing the terrorism act and arresting him for disturbing the peace. With the exception of the last one, all are legal. What's worse is that they manhandle the kid, take his camera (that's called stealing, isn't it?), and apparently push him down some stairs along the way, as well as obviously intimidating him and asking him to stop recording audio (dodgy much?!).

I hope he gets one hell of a payout and the police give up trying to enforce non-existant laws and concentrate on the real ones.

Meglomaniacal idiots.

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Rancid IE6 'more secure' than Chrome and Opera US bank says

Dan P
FAIL

Hmm...

"...while others may not perform well with our site".

In other words, they can't be bothered to rewrite their site from the old IE6-specific code to a cross-browser codebase.

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Google seeks interwebs speed boost with TCP tweak

Dan P
WTF?

Are you sure?

"with Google Chrome, whose revamped JavaScript engine turned the market on its head when it arrived in 2008."

Turned the market on its head? Are you sure about that? I personally don't agree. Sure, it has an optimised JS engine, but then everything Google do is massively heavy in terms of JS load, so yeah, it's probably faster on sites of their creation. For pretty much everything else the gain is minimal, certainly not ground-breaking or something that "turned the market on its head" even 2 years ago.

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ThinkGeek trembles before Pork Board's pork sword

Dan P
FAIL

Only in...

...America. Doh.

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Pakistani lawyer petitions for death of Mark Zuckerberg

Dan P
FAIL

Just because it's illegal in Pakistan...

...doesn't mean it is in America. In fact, I'm fairly sure it's not, and that's where FB's servers are I would assume. So tough luck Pakistan - how about worrying about important things closer to home rather than what people are drawing on a different continent?

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Sony 3D TV kit, PS3 games released tomorrow

Dan P
WTF?

Couple of things...

Firstly, why didn't 3D in it's current form (glasses, different image through each etc) die out once and for all when it came around the first time? We want proper 3D sets, not a rehash of some dodgy 1970s tech that was a failure.

Secondly, why do they insist on pushing Wipeout HD? I remember playing the original on an Amstrad running Gem OS and, other than it being in monochrome, it's hardly changed or improved at all since.

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Watchdog backs Google antitrust complaint with (more) data

Dan P
FAIL

Hmm...

Yeah, YouTube's rise in popularity growth rate is all because of Universal Search, and not perhaps other contributors over the past 3 years or so, such as tens of thousands of devices adding YouTube capability, (DVD players, BluRay players, mobile phones etc); websites such as FaceBook making it incredibly easy to post highly visible YouTube links - the list goes on and on. Nope, it's all because of Google's Universal Search.

Besides, people can still sponsor search results on Google, right? So what's wrong with them using the service they have developed and own in the same way as their paying customers? I know that I use the majority of software that I develop rather than use competitors' software.

I'm not saying that Google being so goddamned big and all-knowing is a good thing, but I also don't think that they are helping YouTube get to a particularly higher position that it would have got to using it's own steam.

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Honda CR-Z sporty hybrid e-car

Dan P

Hmm...

On the outside it looks suspiciously like a '92 Civic with a West Coast body kit.

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Apple iPad

Dan P

What's the point?

If you need a mobile computer, you buy a notebook or laptop (higher spec, more storage, more flexibility, multi-tasking, real keyboard, flash, real applications etc).

If you need a touchscreen mobile computer, you buy a tablet (higher spec, more storage, more flexibility, multi-tasking, flash, real applications etc).

If you need a smaller mobile computer you buy a smart phone (similar spec, similar storage, more flexibility, multi-tasking, similar apps, and the added bonus of being a telephone!)

The iPad has no point - it's just filling a non-existant void to allow designer name worshippers to worship that little bit more arrogantly and publicly.

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BBC upgrades iPlayer to allow 'social propositions'

Dan P
Thumb Down

Enough already...

I wish companies would stop needlessly trying to make everything about social networking rather than improving the core services they offer. Seriously, I don't need to be in contact with everyone on every contact list I've ever created on the web from every website, tool or service I might want to use.

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Google programming Frankenstein is a Go

Dan P

Hmm...

Dynamic types = a license to fail.

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Can you give to charity and cost Microsoft money?

Dan P
FAIL

A whole £3k?!

Wow, that's really gonna hurt Microsoft!

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NZ couple do bunk with £3.9m bank error

Dan P
Thumb Down

Why is it...

Why is it that the bankers can take home millions of their customers' money in bonuses and pensions and the like when they aren't doing the job they're being paid for (isn't that called stealing?), and yet when THEY screw up and give someone who isn't a banker a similar amount of cash, it's the customer that gets arrested and sent to prison?

Sod that! Good luck to them, I hope they find somewhere nice to settle down with their millions and live a happy and undetected rest of their lives!

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Brits get iTunes movie downloads, rentals

Dan P
Thumb Down

I can't see that taking off...

With prices like that, where's the benefit in renting them online, other than the convenience factor? I'd personally much rather get a case, sleeve and disk for the same price tbh, and not have it tied to being played with AppleTV. If they were to half the price they might have something interesting, but when you can buy the physical disk for the same price (or possibly even less with a bit of research) there's no USP here at all.

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RIAA wiped off the net

Dan P
Go

@ I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects

"Instead of wiping the server, they should have inserted a few famous names. Not too many but enough to seed allegations of whatever."

Nice, but I think filling the server to capacity with unauthorised copies of music tracks in the form of DRM-less mp3 format, sharing the drive on the net (or just making the drive root the web root) and then seeding a few search engines would've worked a little more tactlessly. I wonder whether they'd actually go as far as to sue themselves. I have a feeling they probably would, based on past experience.

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Two accused of selling counterfeit Cisco kit

Dan P
Black Helicopters

Interesting...

There's a saying oft quoted on the TV show Hustle: "You can't con and honest man". I'm guessing that the Cisco kit was offered at knocked down prices or I doubt the government agencies involved would've gone for it, preferring suppliers with well established names. So it's pretty much the agencies' own faults for not wanting to pay market price for the goods. I hope they lost millions and learn their lesson. I also hope that these routers etc aren't currently sat aboard warships, in missile control centres etc

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Xbox gamers urged don't get smashed

Dan P
Thumb Down

Games are not the place

Games are not the place for messages of this kind. Games are there for escapism, you don't have to worry about drink-driving in a game because of the very fact that it's a game, and therefore you shouldn't have to worry about seeing adverts like this in-game. Sure, put them on motorway bridges, on billboards, wherever in the real world, but not in the cyberworld, in the cyberworld there is no such thing as drink driving, and so there should be no such thing as drink driving warnings.

Next they'll be suggesting putting big notices about the danger of guns on games like Halo and CounterStrike, or having mandatory psychological assessments done every time you accidentally team kill.

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Facebook accuses MP of impersonating MP

Dan P
Stop

Rediculous amount of friends...

I understand MPs and suchlike having, indeed needing, a web presence. I don't understand why they would use facebook, a site primarily created for communicating with your FRIENDS. He has 2500 "friends", and I bet he only actually knows about 1% of them, and engages in conversation through facebook with only slightly more than that. Why not get a website built? If you want to open up comminication with your constituents, use one of those newfangled forum thingymajigs. That way you can even get it styled exactly how you want, make whatever announcements you want, and aren't quite so likely to get banned from your own site for not being yourself.

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US tech support outfit seeks pocket sniffer

Dan P
Coat

Or possibly....

"Usually a 'wet' smell signifies a broken hand dryer in the toilets."

Or possibly that they've been relieving themselves behind the racking!

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Commuters shouting into their mobiles? Just jam 'em

Dan P
Thumb Up

@ Greg...

"The most annoying thing on public transport are the twunts who think that listening to (c)rap music on their phone's tiny tinny underpowered loudspeaker is acceptable. For these, we need some sort of directional EMP device...."

I think a machinegun would work just fine tbh, and I'm sure David Blunkett would agree with me!

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B3ta served DMCA notice for Photoshop Prince challenge

Dan P
Flame

Diddums...

So let me see... he has an amazing career spanning decades, millions of dollars in the bank, and without the public he would've had none of this, and yet he feels that he's above the satire that all public figures are afforded. If you're going to live your life in the public eye, you're going to be satirised, end of story. If Prince doesn't like it he should stop making records, give up his millions and go and work in a burger bar somewhere.

What a complete and utter cry baby!

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Pilot sacked for footie star on flightdeck shocker

Dan P

Well if they're going to be like that...

<i>"We have a zero tolerance policy towards any actions which could endanger the safety of our passengers and employees."</i>

If they're going to take it so literally, why are they allowing pilots to take off at all?!

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So, what's the first rule of Reg Club?

Dan P

Thou shalt not...

...engage in the debasement of our society through the utterance of the words "First post", particularly if followed by an un-necessary magnitude of exclamation marks and misplaced numerics.

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US teacher fired for non-literal bible reading

Dan P

Not infringed?!

"[...]but stressed that the teacher's right to free speech had not been infringed."

Oh really? Sacking someone for suggesting that something that goes against all current scientific knowledge(i.e. a talking snake) should not be taken literally isn't infringing his right to free speech at all. Of course not!

Good ol' America, so-called land of the free!

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eBay glitch sends packages to wrong addresses

Dan P

Confirming you address personally...

isn't going to work the majority of the time. eBayers are generally a very careful breed, and if you a a seller received one address from eBay / Paypal, and then an email or message from someone suggesting you should send the package elsewhere, you're going to be very suspicious, and probably contact eBay security and not send the item at all.

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US special forces buy electric stealth golf carts

Dan P

All that's necessary is...

...a blast from a Matrix style EMP weapon and the troops are buggered. Well thought out Special Ops guys!

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Nepal fixes Boeing 757 with goat sacrifice

Dan P

Remind me never to...

... fly on Nepal Airlines. Ever.

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Texas Instruments stands out with 3D TV

Dan P

Red and green glasses anyone

This sounds very similar to the old-fashioned red and green glasses with two images in red and green tint overlayed on top of each other.

I can't imagine it taking off... I don't wear glasses and can't see that I'd be happy having to wear glasses every time I watch TV. Similarly my fiancée, who does wear glasses, wouldn't be happy having to put another set of glasses over hers to watch TV.

In addition you'd need at least 4 or 5 pairs of glasses for friends and family - that's going to start costing a rediculous amount of money!

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Day-of-silence protest hits Net radio

Dan P

A whole $0.0008?!

Wow, that's a huge amount of money! I mean, if you broadcast 4 minute songs continuously all year you'd have to pay a whopping $105.12 for the priveledge! I wonder what that is compared to the advertisement revenues of these stations. Particularly ones like Yahoo! etc.

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Boffin retracts martian water claims

Dan P

Well, there goes his career!

Jumping to conclusions isn't what I thought science was about, and you certainly don't expect a scientist to announce such a ground-breaking theory as this without doing substantial background checks.

Still, the next time he announces something like a canal system on Mars, at least people will be rightfully sceptical of his research and check the background instead of blindly publishing it.

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Fancy an earful? Click here for tech support

Dan P

I may have...

Emailed their tech support department with a couple of pointers on customer service.

<.<

>.>

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PSP patent gets gadget geeks guessing

Dan P

What's the point?

What's the point of rotating the screen? Why not just rotate the whole phone? I have an SPV M600, and use landscape mode all the time without having to revert to patented mechanisms to make it landscape. Perhaps I should patent the method of holding the phone in your hand, and then rotating it through 90 degrees!

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Hackers blamed for Illinois agency server hack

Dan P

Hackers blamed for a hack?!

No really? Wow! I would never have though that it could've been hackers that carried out a hack!

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Big Brother housemate canned for racist slur

Dan P

Title

"I'm surprised they kicked her out if they werent going to show what happened."

Why? If it didn't get shown did it not happen? Would it suddenly be erased from the victim's memory? I remember most of my life, and I'm fairly sure none of it has ever been televised.

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