* Posts by Stuart 14

22 posts • joined 4 Sep 2009

Weird PHP-poking Linux worm slithers into home routers, Internet of Things

Stuart 14

admin admin

When will they stop being so stupid and put in the effort to change it to admin password.

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Apple tries to trademark the term 'startup'

Stuart 14

Talk?

"There's little point asking Apple why it wants to own “startup”: it doesn't respond to requests on matters like this."

I can't remember when Apple were on talking terms with the Reg

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PRISM leaks: WTF, you don't spy on your friends, splutters EU

Stuart 14

DOH

We live in the age of date, big data. Oh yes the data should be locked down, now there's a joke. I'm a sys admin and all their data is mine. Lucky for them I care. OK so the bag of shit is finally in the open and attracting flies. I'm just a bit confused at the surprise and outrage. Don't get me wrong, I'd have happily had all the data they held on me put on a hard drive so I could ram it up any civil servants/politicians arse who thought it was acceptable to spy on me; 20 years ago before data blood sucking got to the ridiculous point it is today. Pissed off yes, outraged and surprised; no not that fucking stupid.

Don't use facebook/twitter or any of that crap (got good friends to talk to at the pub); certainly not a terror threat. But I probably will fill a good number of hard drives.

I'll file the corners to a point and somebody start passing me the civil servants/politicians; while where at it lets include a few big stock holders in those big data sucking corporations. Don't worry about Vaseline, I'm sure I can find a hammer around her with "vengeance is mine" written on it somewhere.

The point is we knew, maybe not Eadon, he was preoccupied with hating the office ribbon. But the rest of us did.

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Mobile tech destroys the case for the HS2 £multi-beellion train set

Stuart 14

When they're in the office doin' stuff they get paid according to the value of their output.

Is that why the amount they get paid looks like so much bullshit to the rest of us?

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High-rollers’ shop pitches wallet-pounding, wall-pummelling MONSTER TV

Stuart 14
Happy

Stand, no problem

Just wall mount it and use the stand as a cloths horse.

Of course it might tear the east wing of your castle down due to the weight.

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This is out of hand now: Apple attempts to trademark the LEAF

Stuart 14
Headmaster

whats intresting

is just how pissed off people are becoming at apple, even when they are legally doing something that is legit, like this application. It seems they are about to start living in interesting times.

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Apple granted patent for ebook page-turning

Stuart 14
Happy

Apple to sue Christians

An Apple layer announced today that a patent infringement case was to be taken out against all branches of Christianity. Mr. Ian Andrew Michel Dickless, chief legal brief for Apple, claimed in papers presented to the court ; that the use of an apple with a bite mark out of it in the story of Adam and Eve; was an infringement on patents held by Apple regarding UI design, software coding with regard to non citrus fruit and how fingers can be used to manipulate organic material. Mr. I AM Dickless also claim trademark infringement, which he says is made most dire and heinous as competitors were using this most tragic of stories, to sully the shining saintly image that is of the Apple. When questioned about how historically Apple could make these claims a member of the legal team produced evidence showing that the banishment from paradise must have happened during the iOS6 update period. He was quoted as saying, “If Eve had still been on iOS5 she would have been able to find her way back to paradise; instead she was left to wander a land warped, confused and unknown even to those who lived there”. Another member of the legal team was unable to comment as he was eating the children of a family who owned an old and slightly dysfunctional Samsung fridge freezer. When asked about damages Mr. I AM Dickless fell to his knees threw his hands in the air and announced (in tongues) “No court in the world has the authority to put a price on the damage done. So when due and fair legal process has taken its course; and we have the bustards against the wall; we’ll have a séances and ask Steve how big the next boat should be”.

In related news

A cleaner at the US patent Office has approved a patent application from Dr Bloodlust for the half wheel. Dr Bloodlust a well regarded member of the patent troll community and close friend of Jimmy Savile was heard screaming, “eight times damages for every friggin car and then I’m going after those bastard baby chair makers”.

If you now have coffee in your keyboard then you owe me a pint.

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Apple tries to add Galaxy Note, Jelly Bean to patent slapfest

Stuart 14
Happy

Apple to sue Christians

An Apple layer announced today that a patent infringement case was to be taken out against all branches of Christianity. Mr. Ian Andrew Michel Dickless, chief legal brief for Apple, claimed in papers presented to the court ; that the use of an apple with a bite mark out of it in the story of Adam and Eve; was an infringement on patents held by Apple regarding UI design, software coding with regard to non citrus fruit and how fingers can be used to manipulate organic material. Mr. I AM Dickless also claim trademark infringement, which he says is made most dire and heinous as competitors were using this most tragic of stories, to sully the shining saintly image that is of the Apple. When questioned about how historically Apple could make these claims a member of the legal team produced evidence showing that the banishment from paradise must have happened during the iOS6 update period. He was quoted as saying, “If Eve had still been on iOS5 she would have been able to find her way back to paradise; instead she was left to wander a land warped, confused and unknown even to those who lived there”. Another member of the legal team was unable to comment as he was eating the children of a family who owned an old and slightly dysfunctional Samsung fridge freezer. When asked about damages Mr. I AM Dickless fell to his knees threw his hands in the air and announced (in tongues) “No court in the world has the authority to put a price on the damage done. So when due and fair legal process has taken its course; and we have the bustards against the wall; we’ll have a séances and ask Steve how big the next boat should be”.

In related news

A cleaner at the US patent Office has approved a patent application from Dr Bloodlust for the half wheel. Dr Bloodlust a well regarded member of the patent troll community and close friend of Jimmy Savile was heard screaming, “eight times damages for every friggin car and then I’m going after those bastard baby chair makers”.

If you now have coffee in your keyboard then you owe me a pint.

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Stuart 14
Stop

Like clockwork

This is getting so regular you can set your clock by it. Ohh look, Apple are suing some one, must be wanker time.

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Apple slips bomb into ITC filing: Samsung being PROBED by US gov

Stuart 14
Big Brother

Re: Oh F.F.S!!!

The problem there is if apple win; we'll have to pay for the footage on itunes

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LOHAN sets clock ticking for explosive climax

Stuart 14
Holmes

Is it just me

Or do you now have more logos than a F1 car during the glory days of cigarette advertising.

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LOHAN's concrete derrière dubbed WIDDECOMBE

Stuart 14
Coffee/keyboard

It's too bad, I can't watch!

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Microsoft releases FixIt for critical flaw in 100 apps

Stuart 14
Pint

@ Anonymous Coward Re Considering

"Give us examples of publicly facing websites you regularly use which implement WebDAV. No?

There you go then"

I use bugger all of them, but that wasn't the point of the post. It's already been shown that your more likely to hit a compromised web site with innocent surfing habits (news, films ect) than paying to go to the good old trusted pron sites. Most of these hacked sites will use some form of exploit vector that gives them the best chance at spreading their empire. Now I could have read this exploit wrong but it seems a pretty sure fire way for most non techs to get hit, unless your offering to be their system admin and set up all those lovely workarounds recommended by M$.

So Gran hits her favorite new site (The telegraph, bless her hart) and due to poor eyesight, the strong smell of wee and her total lack of any tech savey is redirected to a page that says click here to download the news item (or lack of being the telegraph), opps.

Your comment sort of reminds me of the Sony boss who said "why should people worry about a root kit, most people don't even know what one is."

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Stuart 14
WTF?

considering

how many sites are compromised every day can somebody please tell me how the hell anybody is meant to know which ones to trust?

Just stop with the bull and fix the bug.

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US boffins fashion quantum-computing bit out of SQUID

Stuart 14
Coat

Will it

play Crysis

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Spain seeks fast track for pirate site shutdowns

Stuart 14
Thumb Up

shut down google!

Please pass the law, after all it's only spain and the hit on googles wallet would be so much fun.

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AMD ATI Radeon HD 5970 two-GPU graphics card

Stuart 14
Happy

But

will it play crisis

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'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Stuart 14
WTF?

Hmmm Cheese Gromit

But we al know the moon is made of cheese!

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IBM, Intel execs arrested over alleged insider trading

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Yank slams El Reg 'zio-fruitcake' Playmobil 'crap'

Stuart 14
IT Angle

Where’s the International Terrorism angle?

Oh wait.

Never mind.

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Second Life slapped with counterfeit sex toy suit

Stuart 14

well F@ck me

Unless somebody owns the patent obviously.

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Samsung pledges X-series laptops 'will not explode'

Stuart 14
Terminator

I for one

I for one will miss our exploding laptop overlords.

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