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* Posts by ForthIsNotDead

377 posts • joined 4 Sep 2009

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IRONY ALERT: Former MI6 chief warns of 'mass snooping' - by PAEDOS

ForthIsNotDead

WTF has it got to do with MI6?

Isn't MI6 supposed to be concerned with protecting its citizens from threats that are external to the UK, like ISIS and stuff?

And America?

If some perv has logged onto your IP camera and is watching your kids sleep, it's hardly a job for MI6 is it? Disgusting as it is. It's a job for the police.

WOLF. THERE'S A WOLF!

7
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Oracle's Larry Ellison quits as CEO – new bosses are Hurd'n'Catz

ForthIsNotDead
Meh

The beginning of a long and slow decline...

* IBM... Long slow decline

* Sun... Long slow decline

* Microsoft... Beginning a long slow decline (IMO) - fighting hard to stave it off (to their credit) but a long slow decline nevertheless

* EDS... Long slow decline

Now, I think, we're beginning to see the same happen to Oracle. It'll take a long time I think, I mean, they're bringing in 8 BILLION a quarter. That's seriously impressive. However, ultimately, I think Open Source databases that are "good enough" are going to win out. Companies are beginning to seriously evaluate alternatives, being offended by lock-in style selling practices and punishingly expensive rates. I think they've had enough. There's a whiff of software revolution in the air.

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Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper

ForthIsNotDead

Must be a bit too old...

Never 'eard of it. The 80's 8-bitters were my thing. Playing games on a PC just didn't feel the same to me! Give me a Speccy, or a BBC B, or a C64 or a... well, just about anything except a PC. That said, there have been some awesome PC games. I'm particularly into anything driving related. F1, NFS etc.

Game on :-)

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Oracle's MySQL buy a 'fiasco' says Dovecot man Mikko Linnanmäki

ForthIsNotDead

Open software

Open Software often sounds like communism to me. Nobody owns it. Therefore, nobody gets paid for it. Therefore it's not of any (real) value to anyone at all. It's communism in software.

It would be funny if someone offered to buy *his* business for a few million. It's funny how communists suddenly turn into capitalists when a big fucking cheque is waved in their face!

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Is that a 64-bit ARM Warrior in your pocket? No, it's MIPS64

ForthIsNotDead

Funky!

"Where rival ARM's shift from 32-bit ARMv7 to 64-bit ARMv8-a involved rewriting chunks of its instruction set and forcing some low-level engineers to learn a new assembly language, MIPS64 is basically MIPS32 with instructions for using 64-bit-wide data, and it runs MIPS32 code without a mode switch."

I instantly thought of the Data General Eagle and came across all warm and fuzzy.

2
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Uber alles... nein! Deutschland imposes NATIONWIDE BAN on taxi app

ForthIsNotDead

Uzbekistan...

I worked in Tashkent for a while. A very nice city and nice people. There are no taxis. You just put out your hand and someone will stop and pick you up. Maybe they're on their way to work, or on their way home. Maybe they're just nipping out to do some shopping. As long as your destination isn't too far out of their way, they'll take you for an agreed price.

Sounds terrifying - but worked each and every time for me in Tashkent and Bhukara!

The Uzbeks have the ultimate Taxi business model - no taxis. No middle-men whatsoever.

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HP: NORKS' cyber spying efforts actually a credible cyberthreat

ForthIsNotDead

So...

North Korea do the same things as the USA and the UK and <insert country of choice here>.

And?

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Why has the web gone to hell? Market chaos and HUMAN NATURE

ForthIsNotDead

'Tis true.

The web is indeed..... shit.

My online footprint is tiny. Maybe five or six websites. The rest is just shit. What makes me sad though is what it has done to society. It really has turned people (particularly the younger generation) into attention wanting cabbages that simply cannot appear to function without their umbilical connection to the web, and the ego-boost that their online "friends" appear to give them. I swear, a friend of my wife who recently went on holiday to Spain spent hours and hours and hours posting pictures of her holiday - and I'm not talking about beautiful panoramic vistas, valleys, mesas and what not - no, I'm talking (literally) about pictures of bottles of wine, plates of food, empty plates of food, sun loungers, you name it. It's all "look at me, look at me.". I'm lucky enough to own a Porsche Cayenne. She actually took a selfie of herself leaning against my car, and posted it on Faceslap. What's wrong with people? It seems that instead of people instinctively going and doing something (what ever that something may be - visiting a library or whatever) they now go and do things with a view to impressing an imaginary "audience" that is constantly (not) following them around and constantly (not) hanging on to every word and funny ha ha post that they make. And their so called "friends" are doing it to. All trying to up oneanother, and boost their own collective egos, since they can't *really* face up to the fact that they lead a rather ordinary hum-drum life. They want to be "celebrities".

A friend of mine posted the other day that he was "chilling with a glass of wine and his Gibson guitar". Why? Around 15 people "liked" it. Why would he do that? Before Facecunt we didn't call all our friends on their mobiles and tell them we were just about to go and get a chinese takeaway, and we didn't take a picture of the empty takeaway cartons and dirty plates and post them in the mail to them. We didn't even *email* them to our friends. Because... why would we? But - get a Facetwat account and you instantly turn into a fucking attention grabbing twat.

</rant>

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Class war! Wikipedia's workers revolt again

ForthIsNotDead

Communism

"It's another example of the fascinating two-caste system at Wikipedia: the workers who put in long hours writing and maintaining the content are paid nothing, while the wealthy administrators at the Foundation devise schemes to spend the cash - to burn through the millions of dollars the charity raises every year."

What you just described is communism. All is not well in the Wiki Duma, comrades.

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Vulture 2 spaceplane brain surgery begins with remote incision

ForthIsNotDead
Pint

Boffinry!

This is getting into Boffinry territory, and nae a white lab-coat to be seen! Well done!

1
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Fifteen zero days found in hacker router comp romp

ForthIsNotDead

BT Home Hub? Sky's Router?

In the UK these two particular routers must easily have the lions share of the market. Were they tested? If not, why not? I appreciate they are UK only, but there must be millions of 'em out there. If they ownable, we should (and the manufacturers) should know.

3
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Uber and Lyft sitting in a tree, 'c-a-n-c-e-l-l-i-n-g each other's rides'

ForthIsNotDead
WTF?

Re: approaching IPO-level revenue

"So they're losing hundreds of millions, a figure which increases monthly, and there is no sign of them ever making a profit then?"

Seems that way, doesn't it. But one has to ask why? What are all these "employees" doing? You could run an outfit like Lyft or Uber from a couple of server racks in your garage, FFS. It runs/supports itself.

What the fuck are they doing?

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BBC man Linwood 'was unfairly sacked' over £100 MILLION DMI omnifail

ForthIsNotDead

Someone in Siemens must have got a huuuuuuuuuge bonus...

...think about it - they effectively hoovered up money from the BBC until they got the boot.

And they didn't even get the boot... BBC bought the unit of them!

KA CHING!!!!

Siemens played an absolute blinder there. I mean, if you're really really going to seriously rip someone off, THAT'S the way to do it.

Seriously. They SO ripped them off, I can really only applaud them. I should be disgusted, but at this moment, I can only muster admiration. Lots of it.

Of course, that said, I'm sure dealing the BBC on an IT project is probably just as bad as dealing with the Government on an IT project, so I'm possibly being unfair to Siemens. Who knows. Perhaps the BBC, with their "too many cooks" way of doing things, just didn't know what the hell they wanted.

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Surprise! Government mega-infrastructure project cocked up

ForthIsNotDead

HS2

I don't know much about so just ignore (or correct) me if I'm wrong but:

* Are the train companies not private companies?

* Are the track companies not private companies?

If so, why in hell does the "country" have to pay to build a fucking railway line? Let the private companies build their own railway line. What's that? Not economically viable? Well don't fucking build it then.

Problem solved.

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British Lords: Euro 'right to be forgotten' ruling 'unreasonable and unworkable'

ForthIsNotDead

Surprised...

...given the rate at which the Lords and our MPs seem to be found with their penis' accidentally inside a choir boy's bottom, you'd think they'd be quite partial to a bit of 'right to be forgotten'.

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SOULLESS machine-intelligence ROBOT cars to hit Blighty in 2015

ForthIsNotDead
Meh

Bastards

Cable said: “Today’s announcement will see driverless cars take to our streets in less than six months, putting us at the forefront of this transformational technology and opening up new opportunities for our economy and society, and, much more importantly, allowing the government to fully monitor, and, at our option, control the movements of every member of the public that is a registered owner of an automatic car! Owe some child maintenance payments? We'll just turn your car off until you pay. Going to McDonalds? Hmmm.... Seems like you've been there rather a lot recently... We'll just use that fact to refuse you health care on the soon-to-be-privatised NHS. Driving slowly in a known red-light district? Wait one moment while we turn the car off, lock the doors, and notify plod of your current location.

Not that I'm paranoid or anything.

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Swell. Apple buys 'Pandora-for-talk-radio' app... for $30 meeellion

ForthIsNotDead
Flame

Here's a suggestion:

“Swell is great, because, like Pandora, you don’t have to make decisions about what to listen to. Swell figures it out for you.”

Just fuck off, okay?

Thanks.

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Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

ForthIsNotDead

Simple solution

All Mr. Assange has to do is become an MP and declare himself (privately) to have a penchant for young choir boys.

He'll then enjoy the complete protection of the British establishment as one of their own.

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Siri, did we just take a hit in that voice-recog patent fight?

ForthIsNotDead
WTF?

Irony overload...

"Apple was arguing that the patent was invalid for a number of reasons, including the novelty of the claim and lack of necessary technical features."

Hello? Cough. Rectangles. Cough. Rounded corners. Cough.

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DATA-SWAP SHOCK: A YES to bill that lets big biz, govt share user info

ForthIsNotDead
FAIL

Irony overload...

"“Every week we hear about the theft of personal information from retailers and trade secrets from innovative businesses, as well as ongoing efforts by foreign nations to hack government networks.".

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Brit celebs' homes VANISH from Google's Street View

ForthIsNotDead
Facepalm

Hilarious!

I just looked at Connaught Square in London on Google Maps... Hmmm.... I wonder which one is our Tony's?

http://goo.gl/maps/9B63I

LOL!

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Austrian Tor exit relay operator guilty of ferrying child porn

ForthIsNotDead

So...

...if I order something illegal by mail order, why is the Post Office not charged with a crime?

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iPhone user SHAMEGASM: 'I beg of you', delete sex app from my purchase list

ForthIsNotDead

Hmmm....

"Hey, Laura, could I borrow your 'phone for a minute? My battery is dead and I need to make a quick call."

"Sure, no problem - here you go."

"Er, on second thoughts, I think I'll pass. Looks a little crusty. I'll wait 'till I get home."

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NSA man says agency can track you through POWER LINES

ForthIsNotDead
Black Helicopters

Turn the detection problem around...

I think it could be done, and quite easily. I think the issue is that they're not telling us the whole story. All you have to do is *inject* noise at the substation level. A known, cyclic pattern that can later be extracted from a recording. Et voila, you'll know which sub-station the recording equipment was getting its power from, and from there you can make a deduction, or, in the case of the Americans, carpet-bomb the entire fucking neighbourhood.

If they're doing it, *that's* how they're doing it.

I don't work for the NSA. Honest.

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We need to talk about SPEAKERS: Sorry, 'audiophiles', only IT will break the sound barrier

ForthIsNotDead

Re: Clearly there's an need for intelligently designed speakers

What, Eric Clapton?

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Anti-snoop Android 'Blackphone' sees the light of day

ForthIsNotDead
Facepalm

Watch the owners of these new 'phones...

...install Facebook on it!

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Firefighters deliver trapped student from GIANT GERMAN LADYPARTS

ForthIsNotDead
Facepalm

Hmmm...

Looking at the second photo, I note a distinct lack of a clitoris, thus confirming the oft held belief among women that men really don't know where to find it!

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Microsoft ups OneDrive storage, slashes prices to match Google Drive

ForthIsNotDead
Happy

Watch the lawsuites fly...

...when Microsoft properly integrate their cloud drives into the Windows OS.

Seriously, mapping your own personal cloud storage to a drive letter would be feckin' ace. And Google, Amazon and chums won't like it at all if that functionality is built in as the OS level.

Go Microsoft! Take their lunch!

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Oracle shares pummeled after giant reports glacial growth

ForthIsNotDead

Not surprised.

IMO I would say that unless you are dealing with absolutely ginormous databases, there are (now) plenty of other alternative systems out there that are *good enough to get the job done*.

A lot of them are free.

Open source gonna eat your lunch, Oracle.

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Auditors blast Blighty cops over binned multi-million pound IT project

ForthIsNotDead
Stop

Translation

"My decision to withdraw from the SIREN project has not been taken lightly, but I believe that this course of action will ultimately be in the best interests of both Surrey Police and the Surrey public,” Hurley said at the time.

Translation: "This is fucked. See ya!"

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Code Spaces goes titsup FOREVER after attacker NUKES its Amazon-hosted data

ForthIsNotDead

What about Amazon?

How did the attacker gain access? If the credentials weren't leaked from inside the company, then Amazon has some questions to answer. This has to reflect badly on Amazon, too.

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The rise of the humans: How to outsmart the digital deluge

ForthIsNotDead

Sorry...

...I stopped reading when I read "chief envisioning officer".

It's probably me. I'm having a bad day!

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UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on

ForthIsNotDead

Failure? No. Complete success.

One would imagine that both the previous and current government(s) have completely failed to grasp the scale and enormity of the problem at hand. However, that is not the case. If one familarises oneself with the objective and requirements under UN Agenda 21 then it is quite easy to see that the Government have followed the script to the letter. This is nothing more than the managed 'run-down' of the economy, as planned under Agenda 21.

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Zuckerberg and other directors sued over GIGANTIC PACKAGES

ForthIsNotDead

@Don Jefe

I'm inclined to agree. If you don't like the way the board is doing things, then you're free to sell your shares and get the hell out.

I can only imagine he's trapped after the Great-Facebook-Pump-And-Dump-Swindle and so selling his shares would mean taking a loss.

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UK govt 'tearing up road laws' for Google's self-driving cars: THE TRUTH

ForthIsNotDead

Is there any truth in the rumour that...

...the UK version is a Sinclair C5 with a Raspberry Pi strapped to it?

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The British are coming! The British are coming! And they're buying Surface fondleslabs

ForthIsNotDead

Acer

Wow... What happened to Acer? I've always thought that Acer has knocked out perfectly good (in fact, i'd go as far as to say very good) hardware at reasonable prices. Always been pleased with Acer laptops etc. Is it just that laptops are no longer the must-have, and they haven't managed to penetrate into the fondle-slab market?

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For your next privacy panic, look no further than vending machines

ForthIsNotDead

I can see it now...

Please allow me to re-post my comment to the Coca Cola Slurps Millions of MAC addresses thread (which is here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/03/coca_cola_slurps_millions_of_mac_addresses/ )

I can see it now...

A camera on the vending machine will use face recognition matching your face with your facebook profile. Then it will say out loud "Hey Sarah! It's hot today, looks like you could use a coke!"

There'll be a picture of Sarah and her mates, (the picture having come from facebook) looking happy and carefree.

Sarah will say "Oh wow, that's so cool" and immediately start recording it with her Google glasses, and bleeting ^M ^M tweeting the fact that the Coke machine knew who she was. "It's so cool!".

She'll buy a coke. A cherry one. Because they're nice. She doesn't carry cash, because, you know, that's so, like, analogue, man. She only carries a credit card. She pays for the coke with her credit card.

The coke machine will say "Gee, thanks Sarah! You have a great day now!". It simultaneously updates her Facebook profile, posting a message on her wall (or whatever the fuck they're called) saying "Hi, I just bought a Cherry Coke at Edmontons on Vine Street and 3rd, 'cause Coke is IT!". It also simultaneously posts a "like" to the Coke corporation.

The purchase by credit card causes an automatic run of her ID against a known terrorist database. Her name is not on the database. She is not a terrorist.

However, it is noticed that she has an outstanding parking ticket from 6 months ago that she has not paid.

An alert is automatically routed to a patrol car in the area, along with her driving licence details, photograph, and pictures of her from her facebook account, for indentification purposes.

Since they have their phone ID, and she's in a Mall, it's relatively easy to track her location within the mall and the police officer spots her quite quickly. She's talking to some friends and tweeting furiously on her phone.

The officer approaches, and in a friendly manner (it's only a parking ticket, afterall, it's not like she's a terrorist or anything) says "Hi, Sarah, I'm Officer Jenkins from 3rd precint. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm afraid I need to take you down-town to deal with an outstanding parki..."

Sarah hears "I need to take you downtown" and thinks "Shit! My parking ticket". Panic overtakes her. She runs for it.

Officer Jenkins stands for a moment in amazement, before giving chase. He shouts after her "Sarah! Stop! It's okay! It's just a parking ticket!".

An officer approaching from the other direction sees what's going on, and notes that the young woman is running towards him. Probably a theif - stolen someone's handbag or wallet. He draws his side-arm and shouts "Police! Stop!". He notices she has something in her hand. It might be a weapon. He fires one shot and hits Sarah in the chest. Sarah hits the ground.

Her iPhone smashes on the floor.

"Shit" says the officer.

Officer Jenkins arrives. "What the fuck man? What did you shoot her for? She's just a kid"

"I thought she had a weapon. She was running man. I told her to stop!"

"She's just a kid. Get an ambulance"

Officer Jenkins goes to help her while the other officer radios for an ambulance. And backup.

Sarah's friends arrive, and begin recording the incident with their smart phones, and uploading to facebook, YouTube, twitter et al. Hash tag #OMGSarahOwnedLOL.

Officer Jenkins kneels down next to Sarah. "Sarah, are you okay? Don't worry, we're gonna get you some help. You're gonna be fine."

"I... can't... breathe.... I... feel... cold...."

"It's okay Sarah, everything's gonna be fine. You hold on. You hear me? You hang in there. Sarah. Sarah!"

Sarah's eyes stare lifelessly into the void, as she draws her final breath.

"Oh no!" cries officer Jenkins. Tears welling up in his eyes, he begins mouth-to-mouth.

"Come on Sarah! Stay with me!"

How do we know this?

Because the entire incident was recorded, and uploaded by her Google glass.

Meanwhile, the dead girls' profile reads "I just bought a Cherry Coke at Edmonton's and 3rd, 'cause Coke is IT!".

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Google's driverless car: It'll just block our roads. It's the WORST

ForthIsNotDead

Agenda 21

The whole thing is Google pedalling Agenda 21. Agenda 21 is a plan to control (i.e. restrict) the freedoms of the human population, in an effort to save the earth. Just google (ha irony!) UN Agenda 21.

Freedom of movement, one of the central tenets of Agenda 21, will be restricted when "communities" own cars, not individuals.

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It's Google's NO-WHEEL car. OMG... there aren't any BRAKES

ForthIsNotDead
Terminator

Worrying

I tell you what worries me about this... The young age of the engineers. I know I sound ageist and all that, but do you think they followed some kind of approved design process for:

a) the overall system

b) the hardware (fault tolerance etc)

c) the software (fault tolerance etc)

I'd love to see the code and apply it to a ISO-61508 review. I mean, seriously, if you are designing a train that can semi-autonomously pilot itself, then you'd have to design it to SIL 2 standards at a minimum (I believe). An under-sea pipeline, SIL3. A nuclear reactor, SIL4. What reassurance do we have that any proper design process was followed such the system can be certified with a certain level of safety?

If the guys in the video were in their 40's and 50's and were all ex transport industry (rail, flight avionics etc) then okay, you'd know that those guys were well versed in their subject and had very probably followed a certifiable design process.

I don't get that feeling from these guys.

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Carry On YouView Regardless, BBC Trust tells the BBC

ForthIsNotDead

YouView. Meh.

I have a YouView box. It's pretty Meh, to be honest. As a BT Vision subscriber (yes, I'm *the* one!) I preferred their older silver box. The YouView box has an impressive looking UI with lots of shiny graphics, but you soon realise that it's effing slow and just wish you could turn it all off. The older BT box had a much more stripped GUI (which was just fine, actually) and was much better to navigate.

In terms of the performance of the YouView box, it's fine. Not noticed any problems with it. It's just a bit "meh" to be honest. If it was taken away I don't think I'd miss it - with the exception of recording the Grand Prix on the BBC on Saturdays and Sundays - the *only* thing Dad (i.e. me) uses it for.

Meh.

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GSMA: There are more mobile connections than PEOPLE... but WHO'S HOGGING them all?

ForthIsNotDead

Meh.

I lost my beloved Samsung SIII last Thursday in Stavanger, Norway.

It's Tuesday and I haven't missed it at all.

I'm seriously thinking of getting my old (and pristine) Nokia 6310i (all hail) out and going all retro!

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Creepy Facebook urges users to pester friends about their SEX LIVES

ForthIsNotDead

Ha!

So glad to *not* be one of those 1.25 billion people.

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Welcome to Heathrow Terminal, er, Samsung Galaxy S5

ForthIsNotDead

If you don't like Heathrow T5...

...then Inverness has a lovely little airport.

It's not exactly local though...

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'Executed ex' of Norkers' bonkers Kim Jong-un rises FROM THE GRAVE

ForthIsNotDead

Yum.

She's very attractive.

0
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GM reveals how much you'll pay to turn your car into a rolling 4G LTE Wi-Fi hotspot

ForthIsNotDead

I'm not getting it

a) the kids probably already have their own data plans so can use that for their FB/Twitter

b) Most phones can run a mobile hotspot. I ran a hotspot on my Galaxy SIII just yesterday for 7 hours. Worked perfectly.

c) Why should GM get to spy/monitor/mine my web activity in addition to Google and every fucker else on planet earth?

Next thing you know, GM will be sending you adverts from "carefully chosen affiliates" based on your browsing habits. Better hope the boys aren't watching grumble flicks in the back seat with the headphones on.

Seems that soon the car will be a loss-leader. You will be the product, not the car.

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Twitter jitters: Investors turn into quitters as shares hit the sh...

ForthIsNotDead

Common Sense

If they're not making a profit, then they HAVE to go back to the market for another round of share issuing, since that's the only place they can get their money from. Thus if you own shares from the original IPO, they are going to be de-valued as more shares hit the market.

This seems to be de rigueur these days. The people at the top enrich themselves via the IPO, rather than by selling stuff and making a profit. Eventually, when the share price heads south, the board will fire them, and they can feign disappointment whilst accepting a huge golden-handshake cheque and they're done. Then all they have to do is wait for the share sell ban period to elapse, and they can then start quietly selling their millions of privately held shares (assuming another member of the board hasn't approached them and made an offer for them at a pre-agreed price).

They've got balls. Gotta give 'em at least that much.

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ForthIsNotDead

Er...

Simple, if you OWN shares at market cap of 25B (even though they don't generate profit) then you can get loans from the bank...

Or you could have kept the cash to begin with, rather than, you know, "investing" in a company that doesn't make any money.

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10 PRINT "Happy 50th Birthday, BASIC" : GOTO 10

ForthIsNotDead

Bad memories...

10 PRINT "EMMA'S SWEET JOY JUICE ";

20 GOTO 10

That got me into a lot of trouble at the age of 14 in WH Smiths.

0
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Gnome Foundation runs out of cash

ForthIsNotDead

Re: Socialism in Software Development...

In other words: Your glib bullshit betrays a profound ignorance of what the difference is between "donations" and "reallocations"

Re-allocations, eh? Wow. Spoken like a true Marxist. You, comrade, are a credit to your kind. The duma will be proud of you.

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ForthIsNotDead

Socialism in Software Development...

The same thing always happens when you use a Socialist/Communist "model" to get your work done: You run out of other people's money.

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