* Posts by paulf

670 posts • joined 25 Aug 2009

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Panasonic wants you to wear Li-Ion batteries. The ones that explode

paulf
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Happy

PCMCIA

*While we're remembering PCMCIA cards, let's remember the acronym describing the venerable peripherals-for-laptops standards was often satirised as “People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms.”

Wow - PCMCIA and yes I do remember the snarky expansion of the acronym you mention!

Many years ago I had a Panasonic CF-41 laptop (The first to have a double speed CD-ROM drive built in!). I think the CF-41 still works and I have a PCMCIA modem and joystick adaptor for it somewhere in the big box of antique computer gubbins.

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Qualcomm eyes NXP lunch

paulf
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Re: Qualcom maybe the worst new owner for NXP?

@Mage

On this bit: "Plessey, GEC". Plessey Semiconductors was acquired by GEC when GEC and Siemens captured Plessey and tore it apart between them. GEC Plessey Semiconductors (GPS) carried on until 1997 when it was acquired by Mitel. Mitel separated the PBX bit from the Semiconductor bit around 2002 which became Zarlink Semiconductor. That got rogered into submission by a bunch of 2nd division manglement/bean counters from Nat Semi who left just enough of the company behind to be acquired by Microsemi.

Oddly enough the Plessey name lives on as it was resurrected by the company that now owns the former Plessey foundry at Roborough, near Plymouth.

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paulf
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Unhappy

Re: Qualcom maybe the worst new owner for NXP?

@Mage "Formerly part of Philips, once the flagship Electronics giant of Europe, the TV and AV are badges for Asians and they have retreated to 1926 and making only light bulbs and health care."

I don't know about the healthcare but the light bulbs aren't much cop these days. They all seem to be made in the middle kingdom; dumb light bulbs die with shocking (ahem) regularity* and the "smart" ones are full of DRM.

*The 42w eco-halogen bulbs in the living room seem to go after only a few months use, and it's not like they've been used much over the Summer. The Homebase own brand bulbs last about 2 years in comparison!

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That's cold: This is how our boss told us our jobs are at risk, staffers claim

paulf
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Big Brother

Re: Plan For The Future!

Not where I work. They've recently put the stationery room on access control whereas before that you could just help yourself. Now you can only get a crappy BIC biro or pack of own brand "Paste-It Notes" with gracious permission from the department Admin. The Admins are usually pretty good but it's a move that really says "Fuck you!" to the question "Do you trust your employees not to pinch the cheap crappy stationery you buy?"

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Mozilla tells Firefox OS devs to fork off if they want to chase open web apps vision

paulf
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Meh

Re: Doubtful that someone running an old unsupported OS is keeping their browser up-to-date

@WatAWorld "The browser isn't going to fix the security holes in the OS and hardware."

True, but for someone who has decided they need to be running XP or Vista (for reasons that presumably make sense to them, having weighed up the risks of an OS with unpatched security holes) an up to date browser will be more likely to stop attacks getting as far as the OS compared to an out of date browser (assuming the system isn't air gapped).

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USB-C is now wired for sound, just like Sir Cliff Richard

paulf
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Terminator

Re: Additional uses

I suspect, on the iPhone at least, it was considered in detail and since this was identified as one of the main consequences of removing the 3.5mm jack port is probably why they went ahead.

Icon -> Your competing payment system is dead [on our platform].

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TalkTalk hack: Teen in court on hacking and blackmail charges

paulf
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Joke

19?

Wow. So he's not even 20 yet and he's already hacked various major and smaller businesses, extorting serious money in the process?

I wish I'd achieved that much by the time I was 20!

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Microsoft paid me $650 to scrub Windows 10 from my grandpa's PC, says man

paulf
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Paris Hilton

Re: $650 is nothing to MS

@ Frank Bitterlich "Maybe a public apology in the form of a full-page newspaper ad would be nice, too."

Nah, hit them where it really hurts and demand the cheque as this guy did (don't settle for gift cards that cost them next to bugger all to issue). Sending out lots of cheques for $650 will eventually start to hit home what they've done. Even if only 1% of those 400 million Win 10 devices yields a claim that's $2.6bn - material even on MS's accounts even if it is a one off. Perhaps it will become big enough to spawn a sleazy claims handling industry? Those PPI claims management shysters must be looking for a new gig, "Were you tricked into getting PPI installing Windows 10? Call us now!"

As for a newspaper advert - if you're really keen I suggest it is featured somewhere before page 5 and explains in clear terms (using large unmissable text) that they used Virus/Malware techniques to get Win 10 onto machines with the massive heading "WE AT MICROSOFT ARE DEVIOUS AND DECEITFUL".

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'Faceless' Liberty Global has 'sucked the very soul' out of Virgin Media

paulf
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Meh

Re: Deterioration

This is the downside of quad-play offers - you're stuck unless you move the lot and some options (like pay TV) have few alternatives. The industry likes them because they deliver more loyal customers but that's only because of the hassle of splitting all your services back out of the bundle. Customers like them at first because of the initial discount to get you to put all your eggs in the one basket but start to feel otherwise when they realise it just means the operator will gouge them harder and deeper when the initial discount ends as suddenly their negotiating power is weaker.

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Oi, Apple fanbois. Your beloved Jesus Phones are pisspoor for disabled users

paulf
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Pint

Re: Fork lift drivers

@AC "ermmm... let's forget about phone calls, you do realize I hope that a lot of fork lift drivers and warehouse workers around the globe use voice features on different terminals ?"

The whole point of the article is the accessibility features (or lack of them) built into the iPhone, and how this impacts people with reduced motor functions to place/answer phone calls.

The terminals used by warehouse operatives are normally custom designed devices (i.e. not sodding iPhones), they're not personal phones (as per @Halfmad's point), and they're using it as a necessary part of concentrating on their primary activity. That's a bit different to taking a phone call about going down the local later for a pint (Icon it's Friday), confirming what you want for dinner that evening or anything else equally distracting while you're dashing across the warehouse floor with a metric shitload of gubbins filled pallets.

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paulf
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"And the women with fingernails find it almost impossible to get on the exact date."

I can't help thinking that if these women have fingernails that mean they can't select a date from the sliders they are likely to face wider problems than that with any capacitive touch screen device unless they use some kind of stylus.

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paulf
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Alert

Fork lift drivers

"If you are a worker driving a forklift truck, or a warehouse worker, and your hands are busy and the phone rings then you might appreciate these features."

No disrespect intended to the main topic of the article but I'll respond to this side aspect. If you're driving a fork lift truck or other form of plant machinery, I'd respectfully suggest that you either fully concentrate on what you're doing OR safely stop what you're doing then answer a phone call, rather than trying to do both with the real risk of injury/death. It's one thing to be taking a call hands free while driving on the motorway, but quite another when you're trying to navigate a large load carrying vehicle around the limited spaces in a warehouse while avoiding various squishy meat bags.

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Vodafone UK blocks bulk nuisance calls. Hurrah!

paulf
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Unhappy

Re: Will this block 'Number Withheld' Calls?

Automatic "Withheld Number" call rejection is perfectly possible on the network side. It usually gives out a message informing the caller they must un-Withhold their number for the call to be put through (dialling 1470 is usually the way to override a default withhold). The downside is scammers could just use a fake CLID but it should stop some of the dodgy calls.

Unfortunately Telcos like to charge something like £5/month for this service because profit. Since the cost of offering this service is near negligible (the software is built into the LE switch gear it just needs someone to enable it for that line) I can only conclude that Telcos are gits...

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Sick of Southern Rail? There's a crowdfunding site for that

paulf
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Unhappy

Re: I work for a railroad

You'd need to make sure the train involved had SDO (Selective door opening).

I can think of a myriad of problems in implementing this but the biggest problem would be more than doubling the "Dwell" time in the station (the time the train is at the station loading/unloading fleshsacks rather than travelling at line speed to the next station). One of the main reasons double decker trains aren't as viable as some people like to think is because they increase the station dwell time substantially which gives a substantial reduction in the capacity of that line.

Another easy spotted problem with double stopping trains is the bit of the train not in the platform may be fouling (blocking) a junction just outside the station which further reduces the route capacity. Indeed it could be fouling a Level crossing leading to exceptionally unhappy road users if the crossing is closed for 5 minutes at a time 10 times per hour!

When you're trying to push 10+ trains per hour along a commuter line every minute counts which is why Dwell time is important.

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paulf
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Meh

Re: sack em all

Dismissing a large number of your safety critical staff would be the start of your problems, not the end. You'd have to train new Guards with almost no one to do that training, while running no services due to the chronic lack of guards you've just created.

To answer your question (AIUI and IANAL) yes you can providing you dismiss ALL striking workers and don't cherry pick BUT it is a very high stakes gamble and you'd have to be pretty damned sure you don't blink in that game of poker with the unions.

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Want a Dell printer? Unlucky – they've just stopped selling them

paulf
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Thumb Up

Re: Hands up

Xerox Phaser 6140 (basic colour laser with duplex unit and Ethernet as standard. A bonus was drivers for Win 7, Mac and Linux).

It's done about 1000 pages a year since purchase in early 2010. The cartridges are a bit pricey but the print quality is as good as the day it was unboxed. The printer claims the imaging unit is only 20% through it's life too so fingers crossed it will keep going a while yet!

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Pramworld admits mailing list breach

paulf
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nor the arse covering "A sophisticated attack..."

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Researcher says Patch Tuesday fix should have been made earlier

paulf
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Pirate

Ad networks

FTA: "The bank trojans were being dropped until Kafeine and fellow researchers reported the attacks to advertising networks whose infrastructure was being abused."

So the Ad networks were quite happily dishing out copies of the trojan software all over the place until they were notified by security researchers. Even a small amount of cursory scanning of files distributed over their Ad networks would have detected the booby trapped files. Oh, wait, that would have cost money. At the risk of generalising, I imagine that people who don't run Ad blockers are probably those least able to rectify all the problems introduced by such trojans.

And these Ad networks still don't get why we use ad blockers?!

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iOS 10 bricks iThings

paulf
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Re: Early adpoters beware

I used to wait for x.0.2 before installing.

After the mess that was iOS 8 I now wait until at least a week after something like x.1.3 is released. With iOS 8 I think I held off until 8.2 was looking mostly stable.

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Good luck squeezing saturated market, Euro mobe firms, say Orange, Telefonica

paulf
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Re: We cannot sustain our traditional business

@ Warm Braw "There's no longer a BT shop on every high street. Your landline phone isn't bundled into a contract with your line rental. Retail is a very low-margin operation, so why are the mobile phone networks still in it?"

What I really don't get is why some networks feel the need to have multiple shops on one high street. Plenty of other retailers have hit existential problems because they thought maintaining multiple outlets in one town or shopping area would keep competitors out which simply isn't the case.

I wonder if it comes down to crowd behaviour - if one MNO shut all it's shops in a fluster of the usual Manglement speak (our customers prefer the internet, driving down costs to boost Manglement bonuses keep bills low, etc), opting instead to do only deal with other retailers (like Carphone) the others could start following suit? The downside with that plan is there aren't many significant non-MNO retail chains left...

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Great British Great Bake Off gets new judge

paulf
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Re: The BBC is skint?

The current GBBO deal is reported to be £7.5m/year. For the new deal Auntie were reportedly prepared to pay £15m but Love productions* wouldn't entertain anything below £25m.

Now a doubling of the cost is one thing but demanding 3x the current deal is quite a hike. Yes the show is successful and Love own the format/rights but they didn't seem to recognise the BBC nurtured the show from nothing to its current popularity.

If you'd gone to a commissioning editor at ITV or Sky 8 years ago and pitched a reality show making cakes you'd have been laughed out the room, just as you would have been if you'd pitched a prime-time celebrity ballroom dancing show in 2001...

*I'm just going to chuck in here that apparently Love is 70% a Murdoch tentacle...

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Non-doms pay 10 times more in income tax than average taxpayer group

paulf
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Unhappy

Re: So in summary....

@ Lost all faith...

"...if you are a rich foreigner, despite living here for 15 years, you don't need to pay the full tax rate.

But the poor plebs at the bottom of the rung do, from day 1. Got it."

Got it spot on in one, I think. Considering the hardships many have suffered over recent years I can't help thinking out-law are, at best, unreasonably sticking their neck above the parapet with a bleadin' hearts story about how the 1% may flee elsewhere with their sacks of cash if they're asked to pay 0.2% tax instead of the current 0.1%. It's amazing how much squealing these people (and companies) do (and how deafeningly loud it is!!) at the slightest hint they're not paying their fair share towards the infrastructure and society that enables them to do their thang (be it create jobs, create wealth, or just piss about in their millionaires playground).

Re the article I also pay VAT when I buy stuff. Does that excuse me from paying the full amount of income tax and NI too? Thought not.

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Brexit? We have heard of this, says Dixons Carphone CEO

paulf
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Re: UK shoppers + Dixons @Voland's right hand

"You cannot really wait the 3-4 days it takes for Amazon or Cooperative electricals to deliver white goods"

I've read quite a few comments over the years about how places like Slurry's usually don't have these big items to take away that day. The shops are just showrooms for their home delivery service so most stuff isn't in stock to load in the boot on demand except, possibly, for some of the most popular items. I guess YMMV if you've found stuff in stock like that as I usually don't when I've been moving house and just want a WM loaded in the van today.

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SoftBank ARM buy is done

paulf
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Unhappy

Only in Newsbytes?

Same title I used as the last time this happened.

This is the second "Bye bye ARM" story I've seen relegated to a footnote in Newsbytes. This really does represent the end now they've been delisted; a truly sad day for British technology. A company born and raised here (yes I know the shareholders were spread far and wide so not entirely British owned) grew up to provide a large proportion of the non-x86 processors in the world in a way Chipzilla just couldn't compete with.

And the eulogy was a short paragraph in the footnotes of history. I imagine more people would have found it and commented had they not been anxious about Leopard warnings on their way to the locked filing cabinet.

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O2: Float or flog. What's it going to be, Telefonica?

paulf
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Unhappy

Warning signs

"Telefónica will also list its infrastructure business Telxius, which owns mobile masts and fibre-optic cables, on the stock market next year. However, the company intends to maintain a controlling stake."

These partial flotations of a minority stake seem to end in tears. Does anyone remember FT floating a minority stake in their Orange mobile business in the early naughties to force the markets to attach what they thought was a more accurate higher value to the business?

They may get a one off cash injection from selling the minority stake but it also means they can't access the cash flows as "profit" without paying tax on it and spend much more buying out the minority a few years later (as FT did with that Orange minority stake). There's nothing in it for the minority share holders either as they will never see their shares attain a premium in the price as a hostile acquisition simply isn't possible .

If they need a short term cash infusion from a large fixed asset they'd be better placed to securitise a bunch of debt on it (I am not an accountant).

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Cooky crumbles: Apple mulls yanking profits out of Europe and into US

paulf
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Unhappy

Apple seems to think the state of the art is products that lack certain compelling standardised functions unless they have a plethora of reassuringly expensive adaptors dangling off them (e.g. Lightning to Ethernet, Lightning to 3.5mm jack, Optical drive).

To clarify: 1. GbE is preferable to Wifi because it doesn't suffer the same contention as Wifi does from other adjacent users and networks. 2. The 3.5mm jack port may be an old standard but unlike floppy disks it isn't obsolete. Some may consider swapping passive headphones for Bluetooth equivalents that need regular charging to be a retrograde step. 3. Just because you paid again to stream everything from iTunes over your ubiquitous 5 bar 4G LTE connection doesn't mean we all can or want to.

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Surge pricing? How about surge fines: Pennsylvania orders Uber to cough up $11.4m

paulf
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Thank you @dan1980, your explanation and analysis of this is spot on.

One thing I would note though is where authorities try to adjust the law/regulations to cover operators like Uber (e.g. Uber wins right to challenge driver English tests), Uber fight them tooth and nail presumably in a bid to maintain the status quo where they operate as they please with disregard for the law/regulations.

If Uber really is simple ride sharing (catching a lift with someone already going that way) the concept of surge pricing would be non-existent. As I understand law/regulations/insurance requirements in England, it's fine for a driver to car share (there are officially backed initiatives to encourage it!) as long as they accept only a reasonable contribution towards fuel. Charging more than that means it becomes a Taxi and thus it should adhere to the regulations that apply to Taxis.

I'm half expecting someone to declare Apple's approach to taxation as "Disruptive".

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Still got a floppy drive? Here's a solution for when 1.44MB isn't enough

paulf
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Re: Not the best thought out name

What about the logo? I took one look at that logo and my first thought was the lengths SanDisk were going to to get people buying more memory cards.

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Nest developers become Oompa-Loompas in Google shake-up

paulf
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Re: "creating a unified Internet of Things platform"

I can't help thinking that unless they can get those thermostats showing ads ("Please watch this ad for jumpers/ice cream before you adjust the temperature up/down") the whole lot will get dropped as Google seems to do when it gets bored with the sideline products. The idea of being able to track when people are at home and their temperature preferences is cute and all, but it's not quite as compelling a feed to the advert profiling machine as knowing all your emails and search history (either via a browser or your Android mobile).

Does anyone know the status of Waze within Google, and has it suffered a similar fate yet?

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IBM swings axe through staff, humming contently about cloud and AI

paulf
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Joke

Photo caption competition

My entry would be, Ginni: "Fuckin' come at me, Bro!"

Sorry, IBM seems to be such a train wreck these days there isn't really any serious ridicule left about IBM "strategy" that hasn't already been said.

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TalkTalk's appeal against paltry ICO data breach fine thrown out

paulf
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Mushroom

Seriously?

They went to all the hassle of lawyering up to contest a £1000 fine? Considering the costs incurred by the ICO in defending their decision against the appeal I'd have considered a min 100x increase to be appropriate punishment for such an egregious appeal.

I accept they may have been trying to reverse the conviction rather than the nominal amount of the fine but if Dido's contrite wailings* had any credence they would have paid up, written off the £1k to experience, booked a gain from having deprived the lawyers of their hundreds of billable hours (or even spent the savings on some proper IT security bods) and moved the fuck on.

*Yes, I know. During that performance I was half expecting a caption to flash up, "Members of the Academy: Vote now!"

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ARM moneymen OK buyout

paulf
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Re: Only in Newsbytes?

Likewise - I hope you're wrong for the same reasons. Softbank aren't magicking that £24bn out of thin air and the entities putting up that cash will want an RoI from a £17/share purchase that was previously generating a reasonable return on ~£10/share.

Others have said it - the Softbank promises all sound a bit Kraft-y. If they don't keep their word what come back is there?

I've racked my head since this deal was announced and just can't see any rational logic behind ARM being anything other than independent (i.e. the status quo). I guess that's why the current management extracted such a hefty take over premium but that will come at a price when the new owners want their pound of flesh.

Sad times.

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paulf
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Alert

Only in Newsbytes?

Considering the acquisition price of £17/share (?) represents a major premium over the pre-announcement price many may have considered this EGM nothing more than a "rubber stamp" affair but surely this warranted a bit more prominent coverage than a few lines in Newsbytes? It does represent the end of independence for what many consider the jewel in Britain's technological crown after all.

Hmm, sadly no Reg Tombstone icon any more...

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EU verdict: Apple received €13bn in illegal tax benefits from Ireland

paulf
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Holmes

Re: What I don't get...

@ It wasnt me "Seriously, whats so difficult?"

Brown envelopes full of money/company directorships/Knighthoods (<coughs> BHS <coughs>) etc is what makes it so difficult to change these things. Otherwise your analysis is spot on.

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Ireland taxman: Apple got NO favours from us, at all, at all

paulf
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Holmes

Re: Irish politicians will need to fight this ruling...

It's also worth noting Ireland asked the EU for a €90bn bailout in 2010. Would that have been necessary if the big multinationals like Apple were paying tax at the published rate everyone else had to pay?

Unfortunately companies like Apple (I know there are others who do this, but Apple is the subject here) always use the same defence; that they've paid all the taxes due by law, carefully sidestepping the fact they're wealthy enough to exploit a loophole most workers and small companies cannot.

I wonder how Irish tax payers feel knowing they were, in effect, subsidising one of the biggest and richest companies on the planet? That's what happened when the Irish state decided to accept lower tax revenue by offering a special deal to one company that one assumes wasn't available to most others.

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Our pacemakers are totally secure, says short-sold St Jude

paulf
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Pint

Re: Let's get this straight

@ Mark 85 "More like market manipulation..."

You're right. By means of an excuse, I wrote that comment at 0500 (long story) on BH Monday and as I'd only had one coffee by then the brain was more sludgy than normal. Icon - what I enjoyed several of that evening after a long day.

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paulf
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Coat

Let's get this straight

One company finds a security hole in another company's products and accuses that company of not fixing them because they put profit before safety but before disclosing their findings they place a bet on that company's shares in the hope their (disputed) report pushes the share price down which it does thus they make a profit at the expense of the safety that would have resulted from a prompt disclosure.

Surely this is just a sophisticated pump and dump scam?

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Sprint learns that a 'rebate' includes paying people money

paulf
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Unhappy

An interesting demonstration of how Softbank tentacles treat their customers

If I was an ARM licensee I'd be getting nervous, if not already.

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Windows Update borks PowerShell – Microsoft won't fix it for a week

paulf
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Thumb Up

Re: Raising the White Flag

@ Steve Davies 3 "Bought myself a MacBook to run Photshop. [...] Runs with an SSD and thanks to TimeMachine moving from spinning rust to SSD was easy."

You don't even have to bother with Timemachine. I moved my MBP to SSD last year without it: Plug SSD into MBP using a USB adaptor, Reboot Mac into Startup Manager in the EFI, Use Disk Manager in that to clone one drive to the other, power off and swap SSD into Mac (or do what I did and boot from the SSD via the USB adaptor until you are happy all is running fine).

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Error: Print job 'Money' failed for laserjet001.lan.hp.com

paulf
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Coat

That's a lot of redundancies

"HP says it is on track with its plan** to lay off 3,000 workers by the end of the year in an effort to reduce its overhead costs."

** From that article, "HP, which employed 302,000 people in mid-2015, is just emerging from its previous round of redundancies in which it binned roughly 58,000 workers."

I don't have access to the detailed Q&A that happens at their results but do Manglement ever get taken to task on how they can make a fifth of the workforce redundant? Either Manglement neglected their responsibilities to run the business efficiently and the business was egregiously overstaffed (i.e. burning money with no real RoI) or they're expecting the unfortunates left behind to pick up the slack for no more pay with the consequences of the resulting overwork causing more costs than it saves.

Icon -> Yes I already know the answer but it's frustrating all the same.

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Touchy iPhone 6, 6 Plus chips prone to breaking down and giving up

paulf
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Unhappy

Re: oh dear

@ Tessier-Ashpool "Imagine if they made the phone as thin as a playing card."

Please don't give them ideas! Without some kind of miracle revolution in battery technology you know that would be achieved at the expense of battery life. Also it would be curtains for the lightning port - if the rumours are to be believed they're already gunning for the headphone socket in their quest to save another 0.1mm (which makes as much sense as shaving 1mm off the MBP only to leave it marginally too thin to support GbE port).

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Fujitsu: Why we chose 64-bit ARM over SPARC for our exascale super

paulf
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Re: Selling Arm is starting to look like a dumb move for all concerned

I agree, but I guess that's how Segars and Co extracted a non-trivial 43% premium over the pre-approach share price from Softbank.

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Labour election 2FA fail

paulf
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I'm not convinced this is intended as 2FA

I get voting forms for company AGMs and Building Society Annual meetings (plus other organisations) that operate the same way - a two part security code delivered together. I've never seen it described as 2FA (probably because it isn't and they know it!), and it's certainly not limited to the labour party. The voting forms have been like this for years and they come variously from the ERS or Equiniti so also not limited to one company's voting system.

I've never understood why they do it that way, although as someone mentioned elsewhere one part could be identity and the other a checksum to prevent people voting for others by simply guessing the ID part.

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Gawker.com to shut down

paulf
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@dan1980 Upvoted because, with these words, you nail the main point of this whole case: "...Gawker, in publishing revenge porn...".

I'm sure there are cases where the super rich do "buy" justice simply because they can fund the lawyers longer and deeper than the other side (or can afford a super injunction) but IMO this isn't one of them. Gawker published revenge porn, a most egregious violation of privacy against the plaintiff. I can't help thinking they did it because they thought Terry Bollea wouldn't be able to sue or would settle early (for an amount they could write off as a business expense) due to a lack of funds. They took a gamble publishing a story they should have known was wrong, with little genuine public interest (other than gossipy titillation) and lost because a jury found against them.

All those people wailing about the threat to journalism might want to get a grip on what Gawker actually published: Revenge Porn. Not exactly investigative journalism in the same league as Watergate, or British MP expenses, or Jimmy Savile, or the Panama papers was it?

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CERN staff conduct 'human sacrifice' at supercollider site

paulf
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Boffin

Re: Prroof! That Demons exist!

Perhaps not demons but certainly Zombies as a bunch of PhD students at CERN made a zombie apocalypse film back in 2012. It's pretty good considering the amateur shoe string budget production.

Decay film

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£11bn later: Smart meters project delayed again for Crapita tests

paulf
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Headmaster

Might want to check your sums?

FTSubhead: "This would be funny if it wasn't worth 31 years of non-existent Brexit NHS funding"

I'm guessing this is a reference to the Vote Leave campaign which made reference to £350m for the NHS? Well, £11bn / £350m = 31.4 but I understood Vote Leave claimed we sent £350m** per week to the EU not per year. Unfortunately 7.2 months makes your subhead a little less dramatic although it still demonstrates that HM Gubbermint is perfectly capable of pissing tax payer money up the wall on crap projects like smart meters all of its own accord (and it aces this when IT is involved).

[**I'm not keen to open the whole Brexit debate here but it's worth also noting £350m is our gross contribution to the EU (before our rebate is deducted) and doesn't take into account money that comes back to the UK from the EU budget in things like CFP subsidies - full calc].

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Cops break up German sausage fight between pair of Neubrandenburgers

paulf
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Coat

The sausages were massive

"...Kochwurst, some of which can reach monstrous proportions."

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Some Windows 10 Anniversary Update: SSD freeze

paulf
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Joke

Re: Wow.

@Novex "I refer the honourable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago."

"I note Microsoft's attitude to how well my machine works will be governed by the nature of my interest in taking forced updates without question and would therefore be grateful if you would inform me what Microsoft's attitude to forced updates would be, were they to learn that the nature of my reply is as follows: fuck off."

With apologies to Arkell v. Pressdram

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New Google vid-call app

paulf
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Re: Why is this better than Skype?

@ DougS

"Why is this better than Skype? iOS and Android users already have this."

Native Skype for Windows Phone walked behind shed, shot heard. iOS, Android will also lose their native Skype apps

I think the standard comment wondering how long it will be until Google kill this new product applies here also.

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London cops waste £2.1m on thought crime unit – and they want volunteer informers

paulf
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Joke

Slightly off topic but I like the way Viz usually get away with the kind of outrageous claims that would land other publications in the dock - they just attribute everything to an unreliable, ficticious source:

"Our source was on his twelfth pint when he made the completely untrue claim that <insert celebrity name here> liked to have sex with goats on a regular basis. 'The <celebrity> also has sex with rabbits', he lied to our reporter."

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