* Posts by Lord Elpuss

458 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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Pixel mania: Apple 27-inch iMac with 5K Retina display

Lord Elpuss

Re: Att unwarranted triumphalism

Your handle really does say it all, doesn't it.

If the resolution of the screen doesn't matter to you, then this isn't the right device. For you. In your use case. It's staggeringly arrogant though to assume that because YOU don't care about resolution, it can't be important to others.

As stated in the article (and about 20 comments above) - if you're editing a 4K video stream in realtime, a 5K monitor is the only way to see your footage at 100% whilst still having room for toolbars around the side. For some people, this is pretty damn important.

Unwarranted triumphalism indeed.

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Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

Lord Elpuss

Re: Battery

I'd agree with you on the iPhone, but my iPad has a stupendous battery life.

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Bendgate backlash: Apple claims warped iPhone 6 Plus damage is 'extremely rare'

Lord Elpuss

That's because they've all been sent back to Samsung.

http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/galaxy-note-3-problems/

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Lord Elpuss

Re: Spin, spin, spin

@DougS Exactly. Apple design a phone that can survive being bent even when ridiculous force is applied, is smack in the middle of the pack re bendiness when compared to the competition, and perhaps even more impressively the phone still continues to work flawlessly even when subjected to such abuse, and still the haters find a reason to get their panties in a twist.

Sometimes I despair.

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Lord Elpuss

Re: 'over several years'

My iPhone 4 was running the very latest operating system right up until last week; I pre-ordered it in June 2010. That's more than 4 years of fully updated, fully patched use. I sold it this week for £125.

I've just spent 20 minutes googling for an Android handset with similar longevity, support and resale value. Nope, there's nothing.

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Apple iPhone 6: Missing sapphire glass screen FAIL explained

Lord Elpuss

Re: It's not new!

Manufacturing a flawless smartphone screen from sapphire is an order of magnitude more difficult than making a watch face, and the assertion that Android phones have had sapphire screens for years is disingenuous. The vast majority of Android phones have tempered glass (Landfill variants) or Gorilla glass (mid -> premium); just like iPhones.

If you want an iPhone with sapphire screen it does exist; I saw one at Schiphol airport for €4,999. Gold plated, diamond encrusted, and with a sapphire screen, right next to a blinged-up iPad at 6 grand. The price is a good indication that mass production isn't yet a viable proposition.

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Register journo battles Sydney iPHONE queue, FONDLES BIG 'UN

Lord Elpuss

Re: About the author

Didn't spot much bias here. Usually at the Reg it's the other way round - kicking the crap out of Apple and bigging up Android...

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iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!

Lord Elpuss

Re: So which IOS gadget got to have a cardiac arrest OS ?

Huh?

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Not pro Bono: Apple's audio junk mail made spammers' lives easier

Lord Elpuss

Re: They won't let me have it.

You've been able to select 'None' as a payment option for ohh... about the last 5 years. Then you can download free stuff or add an iTunes gift card.

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Lord Elpuss

Re: Well this is bollocks

It's in your LIBRARY, but not downloaded onto your device until you ask it to. A handy way of getting round the computer misuse act. All they've done is the equivalent of an unsolicited offer.

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Lord Elpuss

@Andy Prough Re: "...it's my device..."

Bollocks.

You can jailbreak an Apple device and achieve exactly the same security/freedom tradeoff as with rooted Android devices, if that's your thing.

Not that jailbreaking is for everybody, just pointing out that there is absolutely no difference between Android and Apple devices in this regard.

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The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

Lord Elpuss

Re: They've got you...

An argument could be made that by clicking on the link, you are also transmitting. Namely, transmitting a request to the server to view objectionable material.

Note that the law makes no mention of the 'quantity' of objectionable material which needs to be transmitted in order to constitute an offence; it could be something as small as a ping packet and you'd still fall foul of PC Ignoramus.

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Furious MyCloud users descend on WD website as borkage continues

Lord Elpuss
FAIL

I can thank WD...

...for the most important computing lesson of my life.

Bought a MyBook 1TB to replace a number of HDDs floating around the place, and spent about a week moving all photos & videos from various laptops, an old desktop and a couple of external drives onto the MyBook. Then deleted them all off the various devices so we had one, easily manageable photo and video library.

Then went on holiday for a week.

Then came back, turned on the MyBook and it refused to start up. Head crash.

Drive was a week old, lost all data. WD offered to replace the drive but wouldn't pay for data recovery (ON A WEEK OLD DRIVE). I didn't have the 1200 quid recovery would have cost, so had to explain to the wife that we'd lost everything.

I decided on a point of principle to smash the drive into component atoms with an 8-pound hammer, then put the bits in a box and drop it off at WD head office in Leatherhead with a spicy letter attached. Enjoyed doing that immensely. Didn't get a response though.

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5 Eyes in the Sky: The TRUTH about Flight MH370 and SPOOKSATS

Lord Elpuss

Re: Hindsight?

A shoe bomb (or any other kind) could have caused critical damage to the aircraft, requiring it to immediately try to return home; which could have explained the new route programming. The same device could have crippled communication systems, and/or filled the cockpit and cabin with toxic smoke, meaning communication could have been impossible.

Not my theory, read it in a paper somewhere...

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Steve Ballmer: Thanks to me, Microsoft screwed up a decade in phones

Lord Elpuss
Happy

Re: @csmac3144

"The fastest way to become a millionaire is to start as a billionaire and then buy an airline..."

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Update your Mac NOW: Apple fixes OS X 'goto fail' SSL spying vuln

Lord Elpuss
Holmes

Re: Breaks Mobility Client VPN

*UPDATE* Fixed it. If anybody is facing the same problems with AnyConnect Mobility Client (Corporate Intranet pages display with no CSS, Javascript won't load etc over VPN, yet load fine when connected directly to the Intranet i.e. in the office), this fix worked for me. I suspect the VPN firewall was blocking some 3rd party sites, and adding them to the Search Domains list forced the firewall to allow them.

Check the page source in Safari of a page that won't load. You'll see any resources that won't load correctly highlighted in red at the bottom of the source viewer.

Add these domains to the 'Search Domains' configuration pane for your VPN connection (Connections > Properties > Search Domains, then click '+'). So if the resource w3.css.subd.com/css/main.css won't load, add subd.com to the Search Domains list.

If your VPN won't connect at all (timeout or connection manager not found error), add the Connection Manager domain directly to the Search Domains box as well. So a connection manager address of wecm.us.cisco.com means you should add cisco.com to the search domains box.

Not sure if this last is a hack (certainly feels like it) but it works for now.

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Lord Elpuss

@Havin_it

I missed the gist there - is 6 more pwnable than 7? Thought it was pretty solid...

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Lord Elpuss

Re: It seems there's no fix for my iPhone4

I'm running iOS7 on my 4S with no problems; it's smoother than 6 ever was, and the battery life may actually have improved. I certainly didn't notice it falling off a cliff anyway. My girlfriend is running iOS7 on her iPhone 4 and it struggles somewhat there, although no more than the final versions of 6 did.

If you look past the colour scheme (I like it, but opinions may vary) then iOS7 is a significant upgrade on a 4S.

Oh, and it's unlikely you'll get a premium for having 6 on it; those who care enough about such things will generally be able to downgrade it themselves using Firmware Recovery mode.

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Lord Elpuss
FAIL

Breaks Mobility Client VPN

I just managed to get Cisco AnyConnect Mobility Client working after my company closed off the previous VPN server (which worked perfectly).

I installed Apple's update this morning, and lo and behold AnyConnect doesn't work any more. First I got a message saying it couldn't reach the connection server, now I get a message saying it's timed out.

Dammit to hell and back. From home to office is a 3 hour round trip, seriously f*cks me off when one thing is 'fixed' and the fix takes something else vital out at the same time. Especially when the 'fix' promises to resolve VPN connection issues.

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Samsung brandishes quad-core Galaxy S5, hopes nobody wants high specs

Lord Elpuss

Re: Heart rate monitor

As I read it, the HARDWARE is built in - not just the app. So you can just put your finger on the sensor and it'll read your heart rate.

I could be wrong though - Samsung announcements are notoriously ambiguous.

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'G-WIZ like' object doing 40,000 MPH CRASHES on the MOON

Lord Elpuss

Wow

That video was really informative. What exactly were we looking at again?

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Yes! New company smartphones! ... But I don't WANT one

Lord Elpuss

Re: Big

Sounds like one of the previous generation might be right for you. Apple are still selling the iPhone 4S; I have one myself and will rue the day I have to 'upgrade' it. I actively don't want a bigger screen, like you I want to be able to easily use it with one hand.

It's only those that must have the latest 'n' greatest that will really have no choice; everybody else may well be perfectly happy with a generation older.

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Elitist approach still paying off for Apple in mobile market

Lord Elpuss

Re: Trends

"That'd be easier if IOS7 wasn't such a disaster"

WTF?

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Lord Elpuss

Re: So that's why Nokia are going Android

Did you read the article? Windows Phone is gaining ground, albeit slowly...

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IBM job cuts: Big Blue starts 'slaughter' of Indian and European workforce

Lord Elpuss

I'm trying to feel sympathetic, seriously I am.

I know that the Indian who's just been made redundant had nothing to do with the policies that made India such an unpopular word in the West over the last few years, and he/she is probably reeling from the news as much as the Western person did who's job he probably took, but I'm afraid I just can't bring myself to feel too sorry.

From somebody who (so far) has avoided the swinging axe personally, but has seen many many talented friends and colleagues hung out and left to dry as a result of relentless rightsizing over the last years of chasing the Wall St dragon.

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France demands that Google post badge of shame on its pages

Lord Elpuss

In two minds

I'm divided on this one. Am no fan of Google, but am generally no fan of the French either. Although I do agree that they seem to have bigger balls than most when standing up to some of the more cretinous EU rulings...

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Microsoft to Australian government: our kit has no back doors

Lord Elpuss

The only thing we know for certain, is that we know nothing for certain.

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Snap! Nokia's gyro stabilised camera tech now on open market

Lord Elpuss

Pretty unique - meaning there may be (very few) other suppliers who are able to deliver something similar depending on your value criteria.

Truly unique - there's only one, regardless of your value criteria.

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Fancy a little kinky sex? GCHQ+NSA will know - thanks to ANGRY BIRDS

Lord Elpuss

Re: So, of course...

No, iPhones are pretty good for spying as well.

As long as you're the NSA.

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MANIC MINERS: Ten Bitcoin generating machines

Lord Elpuss

Re: Is it me?

Same with stockbrokers. Sure, the client's getting filthy rich (on paper), but it can all disappear any moment. Only the stockbrokers are booking cold hard cash in commission with every trade...

(Aside: if you haven't seen Wolf of Wall Street, go see it. Now.)

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Report: Prez Obama kicks Healthcare.gov contractor to curb for web disaster

Lord Elpuss

Re: English translation needed

Curb = to inhibit or restrain

Kerb = raised stone edging to road

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Samsung whips out 12.2-inch 'Professional' iPad killers

Lord Elpuss

Size of a piece of paper

Love the fact that he says size a piece of paper is ideal for reading your morning news on. Because of course all morning news is served in handy A4 size.

Pinching and zooming is for me as much about reducing clutter and distraction on the screen as improving legibility; for example when reading El Reg on my iPad I can read the text perfectly when fully zoomed out, but choose to double-tap on the content column (to make it fill the screen) so I avoid the distraction of ads and links in the left and right columns.

I would do exactly the same on a 12" tablet.

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

Lord Elpuss
FAIL

Re: what to buy

@LDS

"Your downvotes will not make your new Macbook upgradable anyway..."

I've upgraded the HDD (to an SSD), and the memory to 16GB (from 4GB) in mine. This is as much as pretty much any mainstream laptop will allow,; the laptop form factor mandates limited upgradability in exchange for portability. No more or less for MacBooks than for any other brand.

I am genuinely curious though; are you running a contest with yourself to see how many downvotes you can collect before you get Eadoned? Either way, your one-person anti-Apple crusade is turning you into a laughing stock amongst peeps who actually know what they're talking about.

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Lord Elpuss

Re: @LDS

LDS, you just got your ass handed to you. Run along now and troll somewhere else while you still have some shred of dignity left.

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UK payday loaners cop MEGA £175K fine for 'misleading' SMS spam

Lord Elpuss

"Any monetary penalty collected from First Financial as a result of the ICO's latest enforcement action will be paid into the Treasury’s Consolidated Fund."

Any monetary penalty; doesn't sound like they're too hopeful of collecting on this...

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Two Brits face criminal trial for sending 'menacing' tweets

Lord Elpuss
FAIL

Re: Feminists are irritating

@ Martin

"...Where does it say anywhere that Caroline Criado-Perez or Stella Creasy are feminists?"

Says it in the article. In the first frigging line.

"Two people have been charged with allegedly sending "menacing" tweets to a feminist campaigner."

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Happy Thanksgiving, Apple. Now how about THREE more patent legal battles for dessert?

Lord Elpuss

Re: If you troll your patents..

@Trevor & Thorne

I see your point, but I'm not sure it's right to paint Apple as a patent troll. To my mind a patent troll is a company that develops nothing itself, simply buying up patents in order to sue. They make the majority of their money by suing other companies. Apple is essentially a rebranding house that pours huge amounts of money into design and marketing, so it kinda makes sense that most of their patent lawsuits focus on design.

The real fault lies with the patent office in granting patently (ahem) absurd patents in the first place.

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Lord Elpuss

Re: If you troll your patents..

@ Thorne

Sorry, what?

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Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen of Nottingham Trent uni

Lord Elpuss
Pint

A pint

for this gentleman. Good effort all round!

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Apple dodges data privacy sueball: Fanbois didn't RTFM*, says judge

Lord Elpuss

Re: Ask the Judge what the privacy policy is for her phone...

The judge isn't the one bringing a (frivolous) lawsuit...

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Samsung's bid to halt grinding wheels of justice in Apple case denied

Lord Elpuss
WTF?

They're busy winning the patent lottery- why on earth would they stop?

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Jury: Samsung must cough $290m of $379m Apple wanted - NOT in 5 cent pieces

Lord Elpuss

Re: "Apple told El Reg in a statement"

Uh... did you miss the bit where Samsung still have to pay Apple more than $800m? How exactly is that a big blow to Apple's patent jihad?

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Lord Elpuss
Flame

Re: Scrolling patent

It's down from $1.05bn to $929m, meaning Samsung still has to pay more than 88% of the original judgement. I would say this is still a resounding result for Apple.

FWIW having looked at the images of the various Samsung devices that were found to be infringing, my layman's eye says that Samsung got everything they deserved on this. Whether the respective patents should have been awarded to Apple in the first place is a matter for discussion, but the fact remains they were issued, and Samsung well and truly infringed.

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Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina

Lord Elpuss

Hot air rises, cold air sinks; my guess would be air conditioning at pitch level wouldn't be affected by the open top.

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Lord Elpuss
Angel

Can't wait to see some of the aerial views when they're actually playing on the pitch; with all those little running figures it'll look like it has a really bad case of crabs.

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Apple kicks iStuff-sniffer out of App Store

Lord Elpuss

Re: Cold Frenzy

iFicionado surely

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KRAKOOM! iPad Air EXPLODES in FIREBALL, terrified fanbois FLEE Apple store

Lord Elpuss
FAIL

Another well thought out and reasoned comment

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Lord Elpuss

Re: " SHIT BINS"....a message to Apple UK.

Last I heard Apple didn't exactly have a problem offloading stock...

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Google's Nexus 5: Best smartphone bang for your buck. There, we said it

Lord Elpuss

Re: "90% of what's needed"

@Dogged

Absolutely right. The title says 'Best bang for your buck', but the phone seems distinctly average. If price and average spec are the only thing buyers are interested in, there are other phones out there at this price point (or lower) that would do the job.

Examples from the article:

... It's not quite as full-featured as some of the smartphones out there, but it does 90 per cent of what's needed

...At first sight the Nexus 5 looks a little dull.

...The ceramic buttons aren't great – the edges feel slightly sharp, and while they didn't snag on jacket pockets, the feel is slightly cheap

...[Front] very basic 1.3 megapixel camera

...[Screen] lacks the brightness of rival Samsung's best phones

...eight megapixels isn't as good as some of the competition, but it does the job

...Photo Sphere feature, designed to take 360 degree shots, still needs work … …the software still has problems and doesn't deal well with details.

...[Battery] looks a little optimistic, and a larger battery would have been advisable… ...it'll handle a day's medium(!) usage

...[KitKat] ...there's nothing here that's a must-have feature.

...one annoying feature of the Nexus 5 is that there's no removable storage

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None of your Bezos: Jeff's wife gives one star to journo's Amazon tome

Lord Elpuss

Could be wrong here (punctuation was never my strong suit) but isn't it also Bezos' wife, not Bezo's?

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