* Posts by DJV

494 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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The genetic button that could turn a WOMAN into a CHIMPANZEE

DJV
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FAIL

Readability

Blimey! 7 paragraphs and a total of 9 sentences. Several gramatical errors. Did anyone actually proofread that article?

I chucked it through the readability test at:

http://www.online-utility.org/english/readability_test_and_improve.jsp

which scored the readability as very low at 36.11.

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Apple engineers 'pay no attention to anyone's patents', court told

DJV
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Meh

Re: Quelle surprise...

Yes but with the American patent system you'd spend all the time sifting through tons of "obvious-should-never-have-been-awarded-patents" instead of actually developing anything!

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Ballmer: Windows Phone 8 'WILL ramp quickly', god dammit

DJV
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Facepalm

Ha ha, love the sarcasm

Er, you were actually being sarcastic, weren't you? Oh right...

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Welsh council's unused mountain of 2,400 laptops

DJV
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Happy

I'll take em off their hands...

...for nuffin!

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NASA's long shot shows Titan glows in the dark

DJV
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Code of the Lifemaker

A good SF romp!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_of_the_Lifemaker

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Microsoft: Just swallow this tablet ... the rest will take care of itself

DJV
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Joke

"Microsoft actually writes fantastic software"

Can I have some of what you're smoking?

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Ballmer has plans for more Microsoft own-brand hardware

DJV
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Devil

"important opportunities to set a new standard"

Well, that will make a change from important opportunities to screw up some existing standards...

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Fujitsu assigns team of women to design PC for women

DJV
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Facepalm

Re: CEO Computer

This is good enough for a CEO's use.

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Windows 8: Microsoft will declare victory, but will anyone believe it?

DJV
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Re: Please excuse the rant...

Excellent rant - upvoted!

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Moon was formed when PLANET SMASHED INTO EARTH

DJV
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Re: with that rendered photo

No, you would definitely not have survived. Not only that but back then the atmosphere (if any) was not breathable - also it was early closing day and umbrellas were in short supply.

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Übertroll firm bags DRM patent for 3D printing

DJV
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Joke

Re: This is evidently evil

Hopefully, unless someone manages to patent walls!

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Linux on ARM breakthrough to take away Torvalds' arse pain

DJV
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FAIL

Re: But wait

You are Loverock Davidson and I claim my prize!

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UN locks Apple, Google, Microsoft in a room for patent peace summit

DJV
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Alert

Oh no!

Patent system has a large injection of common sense - sales of popcorn nose dive!

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RIP Psion PLC: You're with Motorola now

DJV
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Reminiscence time...

My Psion 5MX is still sitting in a drawer, damn good machine in its time. Keyboard has never been beaten, sigh...

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iPad mini to go on sale in one month?

DJV
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Happy

"iPad 1 not getting iOS 6 - effectively EOL'd"

or, put another way "iPad 1 owners ecstatic that they can still use Google Maps"

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Windows Phone 8 stands a chance as Apple, Android dither

DJV
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Happy

@Julian Taylor

"Like ... Vista?"

No, they never got that right!

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Google skids car insurance comparison engine onto rivals' lawn

DJV
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Happy

Of course his face was straight...

...thanks to botox!

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Boffins zapped '2,000 bugs' from Curiosity's 2 MILLION lines of code

DJV
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Alert

Re: "horrendously complex bondage'n'discipline language of no-one's choice"

Brainfuck - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck

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Processor pioneer Victor Poor dies of cancer at 79

DJV
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Happy

"ROM memory"

Read Only Memory Memory?

Hmm, do I detect some redundancy!

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Microsoft: It was never 'Metro,' it was always 'Modern UI'

DJV
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Re: Ooooppps NSIS

Well spotted sir!

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DJV
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Re: My Plan

Excellent! I still refer to Virgin Media as NTL.

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Doctor Who gets one-off special to mark Time Lord's 50th year on telly

DJV
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Obvious

Use colourised clips of William Hartnell's face from the classic series CGI'd onto another actor of the same stature and build a story around that! The fun part would be trying to find clips where:

* they had a reasonable shot of Hartnell's face while he spoke

* there was not too much background noise

* the line/scene is relevant to the storyline

* Hartnell didn't actually fluff his lines :)

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Doctor Who to unwrap new sidekick in Christmas TV special

DJV
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Happy

Re: Daleks?

Actually it was Remembrance of the Daleks (damn, my geekiness is showing now).

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Microsoft Surface slate: Acer, resellers predict a riot

DJV
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FAIL

Re: Whilst one can of course have various opinions about both the new os and............

Totally agree. I've experienced the "pleasure" of having to deal with the crap they nail into computer cases before. Just the once mind, it arrived faulty, it was sent back with a note with the fault fully described. It came back with the same fault, money was (eventually) refunded.

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Opera updated following unexplained Outlook.com lockout

DJV
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Devil

Standards

Microsoft follows its own 'standards'. Often those standards are there to completely bork anything else that's non-MS.

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Daily Mail group boss spoof tweeter fights to protect anonymity

DJV
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Flame

Re: This is obviously a spoof or parody

It probably is until the "wrong" (i.e. rich, powerful, self-important or close friends with someone in gubberment) people get spoofed. One rule for us, one... etc.

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Gabe Newell: Windows 8 is a 'catastrophe' for PC biz

DJV
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Happy

Gabe Newell

"producer on the first three releases of Windows"

What? Windows 1.01, 1.02 and 1.03? He must be proud!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_1.0

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Microsoft Azure goes titsup across Western Europe

DJV
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Happy

Re: Is it just me...

Yes, the sky is falling! PANIC!

(or maybe just carry on using local/personal storage like most people with sense)

5
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Apple Mac OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion review

DJV
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Happy

Snow Lion?

No, it will have Mountain Leopard installed instead, just to confuse you!

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Brooks, Coulson to be CHARGED over phone-hacking

DJV
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Happy

G4S? Blue towel?

Probably not... With G4S' lack of staff she would have to drive the prisoner van herself!

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HTML 5 gets forked up

DJV
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Meh

enjoy?

"Redmond has, of late, been much more interested in standards and has even made sure its own applications can be enjoyed using third-party browsers."

Is this a new meaning of the word "enjoy" with which I have yet to become acquainted?

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CentOS penguins maul Oracle's Linux migration pitch

DJV
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Devil

Oracle...

...a Microsoft for the 2010s!

Avoid.

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Watching Olympics at work? How to avoid a £1k telly-tax fine

DJV
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Alert

"I think the batteries have to be internal."

You have EAT the batteries now? Jeez!

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Apple Store staircase flagged as Peeping Tom black spot

DJV
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Alert

Re: Happens a lot.

Though you'd have to be pretty desperate to be a peeping tom here: http://www.interestingengineering.com/2012/03/terrifying-glass-skywalk-on-side-of.html

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Apple unveils tightened Mountain Lion requirements

DJV
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Re: Puma redux

I'm wating for "Cheezburger"

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Microsoft sets October date for Windows 8 release

DJV
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@mittfh

If you look at the version number that Windows 8 puts in the IE10 User Agent string then you will find that it's 6.2, not 7 or 8! I have never come across Windows 7 with an internal version number of 7 - where did you find that? I suspect Windows 9 will have an internal number of 6.3 - looks like MS are adding the digits together to get the 'public' number!

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Revealed at last: Universe's intergalactic dark matter skeleton

DJV
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FAIL

bronotosaurus?

Duh! Spel chekcer, wheer are yuo wen u are nedeed most?

<-- that's a self fail!!!

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DJV
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WTF?

if you happened to be asleep that day in your astrophysics class

Yes, I was! So please explain this in simple measurements I can understand such as standard London double decker bus or bronotosaurus lengths!

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Door creaks and girl farts: computing in the real world

DJV
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Happy

Re: Once a Moth Is Often Enough!

Yes, but how often are Moths? Is there a timetable? Do they only come out at night? Are they compatible with Butterflies?

We must be told!

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Euro Parliament kills ACTA treaty before court can look at it

DJV
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Yeah

What he (above) said!

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UK.gov proposes massive copyright land snatch

DJV
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Fuck, fuck and more fuck!

Do those fucking idiots in 'power' have ANY idea what they're doing (other than screwing the general populace over and over until we finally cave in)? Don't they realise that SNAFU is NOT supposed the way things should be? AAARGH!

The only person who entered Westminster with the right idea was a certain Guido Fawkes!

More fuckity fucks...

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Nexus 7 and Surface: A bonanza for landfill miners

DJV
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FAIL

Rantometer

Well, that article certainly rates highly on the ole Rantometer! Not surprised it's getting the thumbs down on the ratings.

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Chick-lit naughty girl MP Mensch starts own web-jabber service

DJV
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Go

Re: Ban politicans on twitter

Agreed, but let's take it a bit further and ban politicians from the whole planet instead - they can have one of the icy bits of crap out in the Oort cloud.

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Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

DJV
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FAIL

In a word...

U............U.........GGGG.........H...........H

U............U......G............G.....H...........H

U............U......G............G.....H...........H

U............U......G....................HHHHHH

U............U......G......GGG.....H...........H

U............U......G............G.....H...........H

..UUUUU...........GGGGG......H...........H

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Ethiopia to send Skype users to the slammer

DJV
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FAIL

In that case...

...the whole country should be cut off from the rest of the internet until they repeal this idiotic law.

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That new 'Microsoft GCSE': We reveal what's in it

DJV
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Alert

syntactically correct

By forcing some of the dumber kids to figure out that creating syntactically correct programs enables them to actually work, it might filter into their use of English as well (well, I live in hope).

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Insider cuts into Apple, peels off Intel Mac OS X port secrets

DJV
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@FIA

Hadn't read that before - excellent!

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We'll pull the plug on info-leak smart meters, warns UK.gov

DJV
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FAIL

"potentially valuable to a whole host of other organisations"

What? Organisations like "organised crime"?

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Windows 8 Release Preview open for download

DJV
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Happy

Patches?

It was released yesterday. I downloaded and installed it in VirtualBox yesterday - for a laugh I went to Windows Update and found 2 updates needed to be installed already!

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