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* Posts by DJV

437 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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Ballmer has plans for more Microsoft own-brand hardware

DJV
Devil

"important opportunities to set a new standard"

Well, that will make a change from important opportunities to screw up some existing standards...

8
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Fujitsu assigns team of women to design PC for women

DJV
Facepalm

Re: CEO Computer

This is good enough for a CEO's use.

2
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Windows 8: Microsoft will declare victory, but will anyone believe it?

DJV
Thumb Up

Re: Please excuse the rant...

Excellent rant - upvoted!

1
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Moon was formed when PLANET SMASHED INTO EARTH

DJV

Re: with that rendered photo

No, you would definitely not have survived. Not only that but back then the atmosphere (if any) was not breathable - also it was early closing day and umbrellas were in short supply.

4
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Übertroll firm bags DRM patent for 3D printing

DJV
Joke

Re: This is evidently evil

Hopefully, unless someone manages to patent walls!

5
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Linux on ARM breakthrough to take away Torvalds' arse pain

DJV
FAIL

Re: But wait

You are Loverock Davidson and I claim my prize!

0
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UN locks Apple, Google, Microsoft in a room for patent peace summit

DJV
Alert

Oh no!

Patent system has a large injection of common sense - sales of popcorn nose dive!

8
1

RIP Psion PLC: You're with Motorola now

DJV

Reminiscence time...

My Psion 5MX is still sitting in a drawer, damn good machine in its time. Keyboard has never been beaten, sigh...

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iPad mini to go on sale in one month?

DJV
Happy

"iPad 1 not getting iOS 6 - effectively EOL'd"

or, put another way "iPad 1 owners ecstatic that they can still use Google Maps"

2
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Windows Phone 8 stands a chance as Apple, Android dither

DJV
Happy

@Julian Taylor

"Like ... Vista?"

No, they never got that right!

3
1

Google skids car insurance comparison engine onto rivals' lawn

DJV
Happy

Of course his face was straight...

...thanks to botox!

2
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Boffins zapped '2,000 bugs' from Curiosity's 2 MILLION lines of code

DJV
Alert

Re: "horrendously complex bondage'n'discipline language of no-one's choice"

Brainfuck - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck

0
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Processor pioneer Victor Poor dies of cancer at 79

DJV
Happy

"ROM memory"

Read Only Memory Memory?

Hmm, do I detect some redundancy!

0
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Microsoft: It was never 'Metro,' it was always 'Modern UI'

DJV
Thumb Up

Re: Ooooppps NSIS

Well spotted sir!

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DJV
Thumb Up

Re: My Plan

Excellent! I still refer to Virgin Media as NTL.

2
1

Doctor Who gets one-off special to mark Time Lord's 50th year on telly

DJV
Thumb Up

Obvious

Use colourised clips of William Hartnell's face from the classic series CGI'd onto another actor of the same stature and build a story around that! The fun part would be trying to find clips where:

* they had a reasonable shot of Hartnell's face while he spoke

* there was not too much background noise

* the line/scene is relevant to the storyline

* Hartnell didn't actually fluff his lines :)

1
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Doctor Who to unwrap new sidekick in Christmas TV special

DJV
Happy

Re: Daleks?

Actually it was Remembrance of the Daleks (damn, my geekiness is showing now).

0
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Microsoft Surface slate: Acer, resellers predict a riot

DJV
FAIL

Re: Whilst one can of course have various opinions about both the new os and............

Totally agree. I've experienced the "pleasure" of having to deal with the crap they nail into computer cases before. Just the once mind, it arrived faulty, it was sent back with a note with the fault fully described. It came back with the same fault, money was (eventually) refunded.

3
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Opera updated following unexplained Outlook.com lockout

DJV
Devil

Standards

Microsoft follows its own 'standards'. Often those standards are there to completely bork anything else that's non-MS.

4
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Daily Mail group boss spoof tweeter fights to protect anonymity

DJV
Flame

Re: This is obviously a spoof or parody

It probably is until the "wrong" (i.e. rich, powerful, self-important or close friends with someone in gubberment) people get spoofed. One rule for us, one... etc.

4
1

Gabe Newell: Windows 8 is a 'catastrophe' for PC biz

DJV
Happy

Gabe Newell

"producer on the first three releases of Windows"

What? Windows 1.01, 1.02 and 1.03? He must be proud!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_1.0

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Microsoft Azure goes titsup across Western Europe

DJV
Happy

Re: Is it just me...

Yes, the sky is falling! PANIC!

(or maybe just carry on using local/personal storage like most people with sense)

5
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Apple Mac OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion review

DJV
Happy

Snow Lion?

No, it will have Mountain Leopard installed instead, just to confuse you!

7
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Brooks, Coulson to be CHARGED over phone-hacking

DJV
Happy

G4S? Blue towel?

Probably not... With G4S' lack of staff she would have to drive the prisoner van herself!

3
0

HTML 5 gets forked up

DJV
Meh

enjoy?

"Redmond has, of late, been much more interested in standards and has even made sure its own applications can be enjoyed using third-party browsers."

Is this a new meaning of the word "enjoy" with which I have yet to become acquainted?

2
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CentOS penguins maul Oracle's Linux migration pitch

DJV
Devil

Oracle...

...a Microsoft for the 2010s!

Avoid.

10
1

Watching Olympics at work? How to avoid a £1k telly-tax fine

DJV
Alert

"I think the batteries have to be internal."

You have EAT the batteries now? Jeez!

5
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Apple Store staircase flagged as Peeping Tom black spot

DJV
Alert

Re: Happens a lot.

Though you'd have to be pretty desperate to be a peeping tom here: http://www.interestingengineering.com/2012/03/terrifying-glass-skywalk-on-side-of.html

0
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Apple unveils tightened Mountain Lion requirements

DJV

Re: Puma redux

I'm wating for "Cheezburger"

1
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Microsoft sets October date for Windows 8 release

DJV

@mittfh

If you look at the version number that Windows 8 puts in the IE10 User Agent string then you will find that it's 6.2, not 7 or 8! I have never come across Windows 7 with an internal version number of 7 - where did you find that? I suspect Windows 9 will have an internal number of 6.3 - looks like MS are adding the digits together to get the 'public' number!

0
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Revealed at last: Universe's intergalactic dark matter skeleton

DJV
FAIL

bronotosaurus?

Duh! Spel chekcer, wheer are yuo wen u are nedeed most?

<-- that's a self fail!!!

1
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DJV
WTF?

if you happened to be asleep that day in your astrophysics class

Yes, I was! So please explain this in simple measurements I can understand such as standard London double decker bus or bronotosaurus lengths!

8
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Door creaks and girl farts: computing in the real world

DJV
Happy

Re: Once a Moth Is Often Enough!

Yes, but how often are Moths? Is there a timetable? Do they only come out at night? Are they compatible with Butterflies?

We must be told!

4
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Euro Parliament kills ACTA treaty before court can look at it

DJV
Thumb Up

Yeah

What he (above) said!

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UK.gov proposes massive copyright land snatch

DJV

Fuck, fuck and more fuck!

Do those fucking idiots in 'power' have ANY idea what they're doing (other than screwing the general populace over and over until we finally cave in)? Don't they realise that SNAFU is NOT supposed the way things should be? AAARGH!

The only person who entered Westminster with the right idea was a certain Guido Fawkes!

More fuckity fucks...

12
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Nexus 7 and Surface: A bonanza for landfill miners

DJV
FAIL

Rantometer

Well, that article certainly rates highly on the ole Rantometer! Not surprised it's getting the thumbs down on the ratings.

1
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Chick-lit naughty girl MP Mensch starts own web-jabber service

DJV
Go

Re: Ban politicans on twitter

Agreed, but let's take it a bit further and ban politicians from the whole planet instead - they can have one of the icy bits of crap out in the Oort cloud.

8
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Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

DJV
FAIL

In a word...

U............U.........GGGG.........H...........H

U............U......G............G.....H...........H

U............U......G............G.....H...........H

U............U......G....................HHHHHH

U............U......G......GGG.....H...........H

U............U......G............G.....H...........H

..UUUUU...........GGGGG......H...........H

9
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Ethiopia to send Skype users to the slammer

DJV
FAIL

In that case...

...the whole country should be cut off from the rest of the internet until they repeal this idiotic law.

4
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That new 'Microsoft GCSE': We reveal what's in it

DJV
Alert

syntactically correct

By forcing some of the dumber kids to figure out that creating syntactically correct programs enables them to actually work, it might filter into their use of English as well (well, I live in hope).

4
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Insider cuts into Apple, peels off Intel Mac OS X port secrets

DJV
Thumb Up

@FIA

Hadn't read that before - excellent!

1
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We'll pull the plug on info-leak smart meters, warns UK.gov

DJV
FAIL

"potentially valuable to a whole host of other organisations"

What? Organisations like "organised crime"?

0
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Windows 8 Release Preview open for download

DJV
Happy

Patches?

It was released yesterday. I downloaded and installed it in VirtualBox yesterday - for a laugh I went to Windows Update and found 2 updates needed to be installed already!

0
0
DJV
Facepalm

new paradigm?

Agreed, it will be about as popular as the New Parody Paradigm daleks!

0
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SpaceX Dragon freed to push off home

DJV
Happy

Re: I know relativity means there is time dilation between orbit and the gound

My thoughts exactly!

1
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Sheer weight of Brits' interest knackers new tax tool

DJV
Alert

Re: scaling

Ah but that assumes the government/civil service actually knows what it's doing!

0
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DJV
Happy

Be interesting if...

Wouldn't it be interesting if we had the choice of deciding where our individual tax goes. So, if we were pro something then more of our tax would go to that and if we were against something then our money wouldn't go there. It would be fascinating to see how that choice would skew the actual breakdown. Probably be an absolute logistical nightmare to administer though!

2
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Chrome spends a week at the top of the browser charts

DJV
FAIL

Re: Windows 8 will save Microsoft

Oink flap!

9
1

Crooks sell skint fanbois potatoes instead of iPhones

DJV
Facepalm

Obvious solution

Don't buy anything from anyone driving a Vauxhall...

...erm, no, wait... scrub that, just realised I also drive one...

1
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Fasthosts officially not the best in UK for virtual servers

DJV
Devil

Re: worst hosting company I ever had the misfortune to deal with

Seconded (or thirded as Nick Gisburne beat me to it). Their support is shit, their reliability is shit, they "upgrade" servers without advanced warning and then apply inappropriate settings to them and refuse to fix them when you tell them they've done it wrong (if you manage to get through to them that is). I always warn people away from the idiots. Avoid StreamLine as well as they just seem to be resellers of FastHost server space.

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