* Posts by DJV

503 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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Learn about Microsoft Cloud OS

DJV
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Learn about Microsoft Cloud OS

I'd rather not!

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Worlds that could support LIFE found among 715 new planets

DJV
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Facepalm

Re: Gravity?

Nurse, the tablets, QUICKLY!

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Samsung flings sueball at Dyson for 'intolerable' IP copycat claim

DJV
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Yeah, but if it had been £ or $ then el Reg would have spelt it BEEELLION!

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Steelie Neelie: ICANN think of more 'credible' rules for internet. (Cough *NSA* cough)

DJV
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FAIL

Re: Old Neelie is good for a laugh!

There, there Matt

You go and have a nice lie down and leave the rest of us to read the article properly and come to more logical conclusions.

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Jean Michel Jarre: Je voudrais un MUSIC TAX sur VOTRE MOBE

DJV
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Facepalm

a gadget that doesn’t play music isn’t worth very much

Hmm, many of my gadgets - e.g. printer, screens, electric drill, multimeter, kettle - don't play music. As they are now almost completely worthless, I'd better throw them away. Thanks for the advice, JMJ!

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Do you wear specs? Google Glass offers YOU amazing live HD video

DJV
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We want as many people as possible to wear it

Yeah, I bet they bloody do!

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Android VPN redirect vuln now spotted lurking in Kitkat 4.4

DJV
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Mushroom

Indeed, and it's why many programmers like me were shitting themselves in the 1980s when Ronald Reagan's "Star Wars" system was proposed. That's the one that was going to require millions of lines of computer code that had to work properly the first time an invading missile was detected coming over the horizon (and not go bananas when a pigeon shat on a detector).

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Sony on the ropes after Moody's downgrade to junk

DJV
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@ CaptainHook

Agreed. I deliberately haven't bought anything Sony-related since then. Yes, they should learn that customers have long memories.

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NASA's Opportunity rover celebrates 10 years on Mars with a FILTHY selfie

DJV
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Happy

Re: Where's the obligatory post to 695?

Here you go: http://xkcd.com/695/

You could have done it yourself, you know!

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Walking while texting can – OUCH! – end badly, say boffins

DJV
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Less often nowadays. I think the WWF has put them on the endangered list.

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UK.gov recruiting 400 crack CompSci experts to go into teaching

DJV
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Re: By Gove! I think he's got it!

Yeah, but, remember, this is Michael Gove you are talking about. Most teachers hate him and the crap he normally spits out. He just got lucky this time around when pulling random ideas out of a hat (though I'm sure he'll find some way of cocking the whole thing up before too long).

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Bing Maps COCKUP: Oracle UK HQ is 'Elvis Impersonators' joint

DJV
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Joke

Mislabelling

They also mislabelled Windows 8 as an operating system...

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And the winner of the most reliable disk drive award is ...

DJV
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FAIL

Seagate

I knew I'd been right to avoid their crap for years!

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Amazon patents caches for physical goods

DJV
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Happy

Prior art

See any Road Runner cartoon where Wile E Coyote orders something from the Acme company and has it delivered within 10 seconds.

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Tales from an expert witness: Prior art and patent trolls

DJV
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Facepalm

Patient Trolls

Are those the ones that hide under hospital beds?

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Virgin Media spanked by ad watchdog over 'in your neighbourhood' fibs

DJV
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Facepalm

@NightFox

Ah, they'd probably been using Apple's Map app!

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Murdoch EYEBALLS Twitter with $25m buyout of news aggregator Storyful

DJV
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Agreed! One can only hope!

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Microsoft yanks Surface 2 DIM SCREEN of DEATH fix in update snafu

DJV
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Re: And....

I'm still using a Microsoft Internet Keyboard Pro (about 13 years old). The hand rest is now almost completely smooth. It usually gets ripped to pieces once every 3 or 4 years to extract the shite* that's accumulated under the keys ;)

* Well, not exactly shite, probably more like bits of sandwich, biscuit crumbs and half a ton of cat fur...

That keyboard was obviously one of the few decent things they ever made (unlike Vista, Win 8, ME and a host of other old truck).

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IT bods: Windows XP, we WON'T leave you. Migrate? Chuh! As if...

DJV
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Indeed...

I've still got a Windows 98 PC around just for playing Myst! ;)

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Apple's iPhone plant didn't kill UNDERAGE TEEN factory worker

DJV
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@Oninoshiko

Well, I hope that was the mostly decent 1981 BBC TV version and not the awful 1960s film or the dire 2009 TV remake.

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Firefox reveals new look: rounded rectangles

DJV
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Re: Tabs on bottom...

Classic Theme Restorer

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/classicthemerestorer/

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DJV
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Facepalm

Phew!

It's about time someone took a large mallet and started hitting the Firefox developers around the head with it until they get the message to "STOP FUCKING UP OUR BROWSER!"

However, good news, there's an add-on called Classic Theme Restorer which can restore various "deleted" options including the add-on bar and "Tabs not on top" amongst others.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/classicthemerestorer/

And, yes, it works fine on Australis!

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BT jabbed by ad watchdog AGAIN over fibre deployment fibs

DJV
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Facepalm

@ Chris Church

Yes, it's a lie. 50% truth ISN'T the truth! Jeez!

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DJV
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Mushroom

Basically...

...sorry we lied today. We won't do it again (until tomorrow).

Bastards.

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Buggy software in need of patching? Hey, we got that right here – Adobe

DJV
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FAIL

Totally agree

They sent me an email the other day telling me to change my password (hadn't realised I still had an account with them - I think I once downloaded Adobe Air to see what it was all about).

I went to their web site and looked for the option to cancel/delete my account - no such thing, of course! You have to speak (well, chat) to someone online who had to put a case through for deleting the account. When he asked why I wanted to delete my account I reminded them of their crap security + the fact that (apart from the occasional use of Flash on some web site - though its usage is on the way out, thank goodness) I don't actually use any of their junk software. Finally, they reluctantly agreed to delete the account.

Tossers!

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KRAKOOM! iPad Air EXPLODES in FIREBALL, terrified fanbois FLEE Apple store

DJV
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Happy

Maybe...

Maybe they should name the next one the iPad Water - it will be able to put its own fires out then.

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How my batch process nightmare was solved by a Wombat

DJV
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OMG!

So many truths in that post. Wish I could upvote you more than just the once.

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The 10 most INHUMAN bosses you'll encounter: A Reg reader's guide

DJV
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Happy

Re: Keep it simple

Know what you mean! However, I am now glad that I am in a very small "company" with a brilliant (ahem) boss - it consists of:

1) Me

End of list.

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DJV
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@Crisp

Ah, thanks - reminds me of this.

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Bucket? Check. Toilet plunger? Check. El Reg's 50 years of Doctor Who

DJV
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FAIL

"So worried were the Beeb by its viewers’ potential inability to process more than one televisual event they re-broadcast the pilot."

I was always under the impression the BBC had been deluged by requests to repeat it as so many people had missed it.

"Then the BBC ended the Doctor’s run in 1996"

Nope, they ended it in 1989 - 1996 was the "movie" that they hoped would result in a new series.

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ROBOT PODS to INVADE Milton Keynes in frenzied automatic MAYHEM

DJV
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I can't wait for Jeremy Clarkson to test drive one on Top Gear!

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How to spot a coders comment

DJV
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Unhappy

Most informative comment

The "most informative" comment I ever saw was on a non-trivial piece of Perl. Most of the code was undecipherable in the first place, but the most complex part was blessed with a single comment (the only one in the whole script) that simply read:

# This is a skanky hack!

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Oracle brass past and present tapped for Microsoft CEO - report

DJV
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Happy

I wonder...

Did their chair throwing abilities get tested?

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Best Buy: Bring us your cowering, unwanted Microsoft Surface masses

DJV
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Joke

"unwanted first-edition Surface RT"

That will be all of them, then.

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Microsoft: We're nearly OUT OF STOCK of Surface 2 and Pro 2

DJV
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Happy

So...

How many did they actually make then? Did it reach as far as double figures?

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Snowden's email provider gave crypto keys to FBI – on paper printouts

DJV
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Black Helicopters

Rand Paul

Blimey, I didn't think an intelligent Republican actually existed! Good for him (though I suspect he accidentally joined the wrong party).

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French data cops to Google: RIGHT, you had your chance. PUNISHMENT time

DJV
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Well, at least the popcorn sellers should do well out of all this!

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Fondling slabs during takeoff WON'T end in a fireball of death - report

DJV
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Happy

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1997-09-10/

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Google's latest PRIVACY MELTDOWN: Web chats sent to WRONG people

DJV
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Re: Not Surprised

Ah, I see what you did there - upvoted - pretty good as the DAB article was the one I'd just read prior to this.

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Shopping list for Tesco: Eggs, milk, bread, tablets (the £60 7in Android kind)

DJV
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Meh

I just wonder...

...if the OS will be stuck at 4.2 forever or if it will actually get updates to 4.3, 4.4 etc.

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Douglas Adams was RIGHT! TINY ALIENS are invading Earth, say boffins

DJV
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Alien

Now...

...if they can be found at 42km above the earth then the boffins would definitely be right.

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Oracle revenues miss expectations – AGAIN

DJV
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FAIL

How sad, my heart bleeds...

All I want is for VirtualBox to get out of their clutches before they have their magical "screw it up" effect on that as well.

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Google cooks web dev teaching tool for Raspberry Pi

DJV
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FAIL

Raspberry Pi **badwagon**

BADwagon? Was that deliberate?

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Microsoft announces iPad amnesty for fanbois

DJV
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Microsoft should take their comedy show to the fringe! Gave me a few laughs anyway!

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Biz bods STILL don't patch hacker's delight Java and Flash

DJV
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FAIL

Java and Flash

The sooner both of them are completely replaced in the browser by HTML 5, the better.

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Autogyro legend Ken Wallis hangs up wings at 97

DJV
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Pint

Lovely chap. Met him at a Dr Who event in Holt, Norfolk back in 2006 where the streets swarmed with daleks (along with a couple of dubious cybermen whose costumes were held together mainly by duct tape). I've got photos of him sitting next to Little Nellie and signing autographs for a queue of youngsters.

Cheers Ken.

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Windows 8.1 to freeze out small business apps

DJV
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Facepalm

Please...

...read this: http://www.wikihow.com/Use-There,-Their-and-They%27re

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Facebook strips away a bit more of your privacy – but won't say why

DJV
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Devil

I already do

So far, I've only ever come across one advert on FB that I was remotely interested in. I mark all the rest as spam (or some other inappropriate option from those available).

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UK gov dials 999 over Serco prison escort fraud claims

DJV
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FAIL

Criminals squared.

So, a bunch of criminals have the job of (supposedly) moving another bunch of criminals around. Good job we don't have a bunch of criminals for a government who could get up to no good.

Oh wait...

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NASA: Full details on our manned ASTEROID SNATCH mission

DJV
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Happy

And if that doesn't get off the ground...

...then we just need to wait until around the middle of the next century when the daleks will conveniently chuck rocks at us from space.

http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Daleks%27_Invasion_Earth_2150_A.D.

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