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* Posts by DJV

465 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

DJV
Alert

"Now she has reached the age of telling me to shut the fuck up."

Ah right, going by my partner's daughter, that will be 5 years old then!

5
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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

DJV

I look forward...

...to a time when such days are not needed due to gender discrimination becoming something completely relegated to the past. Given the sexist trolling still seen in various places (online or otherwise), I suspect it's still very much an uphill battle.

4
4

Web Devs: Learn to build high performance websites to banish autumn blues

DJV
Thumb Down

Shouldn't this article have "Advertisement" splatted right across the top in big letters?

5
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'Utter killjoy Reg hacks have NEVER BEEN LAID', writes a fan

DJV
Trollface

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells!

I am disgusted by your reviewer's review of Mummy on the Orient Express. Not only did your reviewer totally miss the point of the whole episode (whatever that was), he (or she or it) made inane and inaccurate comments about how a train cannot fly through space, why the first class carriage was going the wrong way and how his mummy never wore bandages like that! I find it utterly preposterous why the Reg even pays a reviewer to say such laughable and un-Dr-Whoey things!! It's almost like they haven't even watched the episode!

What do you mean you haven't even reviewed it yet?

Bah humbug!

5
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Software gurus: Only developers can defeat mass surveillance

DJV
Unhappy

"responsibility not to harm their users"

Well, there goes all the fun!

3
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No 12-inch maxiPads for Christmas: Suppliers 'smothered by iPhone 6'

DJV
Happy

Re: Christmas time, mistletoe & wine (OCTOBER!!!)

I'm sure they'll BEND over backwards to make your wishes come true!

1
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Will we ever can the spam monster?

DJV
Mushroom

I'm not worried about spam...

Billy boy said it will be history by 2006. Oh wait...

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gates-spam-to-be-canned-by-2006/

0
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Vanished blog posts? Enterprise gaps? Welcome to Windows 10

DJV
Unhappy

@Michael Maxwell

OMG! I pity you.

Sigh. I wonder what ever happened to usability tests?

Glad I use an Office alternative here.

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DJV
Unhappy

Re: Do they still...

Having played with it, I think it's fair to say you will be disappointed in the answers to your questions...

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DJV

Re: What I want to know is...

Of course, it goes without saying, that the registry hacks that would previously allow the border size to be adjusted in Win 7 or 8 no longer work! Sigh...

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2
DJV
FAIL

What I want to know is...

...why the hell have they reduced the window borders down to almost nothing? It makes resizing much more of a chore and it's way too easy to miss where one window starts and another ends! Another design "feature" that hinders more than it helps!

22
1

SHOW ME the MONEY: Payment code spied in Facebook Messenger

DJV
Unhappy

How to use the Facebook Messenger app

My experience on both iPad and Android:

1) Tried the separate messenger once they'd ripped the usable one out of the main app.

2) Looked at the excessive privacy access it wanted.

3) Raised my eyebrows in a correspondly excessive manner.

4) Deleted it.

5) Reverted to using web browser.

6
1

What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

DJV

CTRL+C

CTRL+C will still break into a long directory listing - e.g. do dir /s from the root and hit CTRL+C before the listing finishes on its own - haven't tried a script yet but I suspect it stil works.

Looks like CTRL+C will only do the copy when something is highlighted. If you do dir /s and then click and drag it halts the directory listing. Doing CTRL+C will copy the stuff highlighted and then the listing will continue. Do CTRL+C again and you break into the listing and stop it dead in its tracks.

Sort of like "operator overload", methinks!

0
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Spammer uses innocent hacked blogs to punt NAKED PICS of JLaw, McKayla Maroney

DJV

Re: Am I the only one here...

You've never heard of Miley Cyrus?

Lucky sod!

4
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That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN

DJV

Just checked the glass of water I'm drinking and...

... 23% was sneezed out of the nose of the Great Green Arkleseizure.

6
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A Norsified Linux for Windows and OS X wobblers

DJV
Meh
8
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NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED

DJV
Flame

Re: Is it just me...

Agreed - they should torture test something else instead. How about Iain Duncan Smith?

Flames - well, it's just appropriate!

3
1

Blood-crazed Microsoft axes Trustworthy Computing Group

DJV
Happy

It was...

It was probably only ever an empty office with a big sign on the door anyway!

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2

Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

DJV

Steven Sinofsky's already left!

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Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought

DJV
Thumb Down

Re: Some continuity required??

"5 or so years ago Sony tellys were the best"

40 years ago, more like!

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'Broken code' costs Yelp half a mil in child privacy dust-up with FTC

DJV
FAIL

Half a mil!

Oops!

0
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iOS 8 Healthkit gets a bug SO Apple KILLS it. That's real healthcare!

DJV
Facepalm

HealthKit

Why do I keep reading that as HeathKit? Brings to mind old DIY radios and hifi from the 1970s!

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Was Earth once covered in HELLFIRE? No – more like a wet Sunday night in Iceland

DJV
Happy

Slap

million -> billion

Otherwise, good point!

2
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iPhone 6, Watch: Hate it or really hate it, Apple's now a $604.77bn biz

DJV

Re: love em or hate em

This: http://explosm.net/comics/3678/

1
1

Cave scrawls prove Neanderthals were AT LEAST as talented as modern artists

DJV
Happy

@Dr Who

With your moniker I'm surprised you hadn't suggested that it said "Hello Sweetie!"

5
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Are we there yet, are we there yet? Ballmer 'like a small child' upon buying basketball club

DJV
Devil

Probably the first inkling a player will get that he's been sacked is a chairleg mysteriously appearing in his ear hole.

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1

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

DJV
Thumb Up

"we LET IT GO for a SONG"

Classic!!

5
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I’ve never paid for it in my life... we are talking Wi-Fi, right?

DJV
Thumb Up

!not

"If you don’t not want not to not receive no information from our carefully chosen (ha ha) partners, do not add an untick here unless you don’t not want to not to."

Brilliant, made my day!

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Astronomers scramble for obs on new comet

DJV
FAIL

Re: Java

And, double yuck, you need to jump through several hoops to get the damn thing to display its non-aliased blocky mess! Having done so, I assure you it's not worth the effort!

0
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Multiple user accounts coming to Android phones 'n' slabs

DJV
Thumb Down

Maybe you should learn to use the "Tips and Corrections" link under the article, instead! Anyway, that typo is in a quote from another source over which the Register has no control.

0
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Khronos unveils OpenGL 4.5, broadens OpenCL 2.0 language support

DJV
Unhappy

Re: Silicon Graphics

They did try to ring them but couldn't get through as, apparently, their phone bill hasn't been paid since 2009.

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IBM boffins stuff 16 million-neuron chips into binary 'frog' brain

DJV

@psyq

He did model a cat brain - as soon as it was turned on it did what cats normally do, and went to sleep.

0
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Why do Reg readers deserve the big bucks? Here's why...

DJV
Facepalm

Agreed! It's even worse than the redecoration of a video rental room at a place I once worked. The room was redone in bright red and orange colours - the 2 lads running it had headaches after a couple of hours.

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Brit kids match 45-year-old fogies' tech skill level by the age of 6

DJV

@ Swarthy

Yeah, but suppose you don't like it and want to change your mind?

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DJV

Re: Brain Overload

Regarding number 1 - you are Homer Simpson!

Homer: Oh... and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?

0
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Kiwi satellite earth station recycled – as radio telescope

DJV
Thumb Up

Excellent!

I'm now waiting for Jodrell Bank to come up for offer on Freecycle!

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Microsoft: IE11 for Windows Phone 8.1 is TOO GOOD. So we'll cripple it like Safari

DJV
Facepalm

MS crippling IE

Well, they're certainly experts at that - been doing it for years!

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Brits STUNG for up to £625 when they try to cancel broadband

DJV

Please

Name and shame!

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What's that? A PHP SPECIFICATION? Surely you're joking, Facebook

DJV
Facepalm

@Robert Long 1

"creating a fucking file"

Er yes, Java - millions of ways of creating and accessing files, not one of which does exactly what you need it to do!

7
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YES, iPhones ARE getting slower with each new release of iOS

DJV
Alert

"No one does, in fact, optimise code."

Speak fer yerself!

My personal code library (used on the web sites I build) has been refined many times over the years to cut unnecessary code, and to make it faster and more efficient!

Maybe I'm just weird!

0
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Just TWO climate committee MPs contradict IPCC: The two with SCIENCE degrees

DJV
Unhappy

@Pete 2

"What is really happening is that the government has identified a "thing" that the general public believe in and that they believe it is a bad thing -- one that should be stopped."

I have identified a "thing". It is called the government and, over recent studies, I have determined that it is definitely a bad thing. Question is - can it be stopped?

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2

Hi-tech Fagin couple used Apple scam cash to fly pickpockets to UK

DJV
Thumb Up

Suitable punishment:

Off with the goolies!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04clpd7h0b0

0
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Child diagnosed as allergic to iPad

DJV
Devil

Re: RE: Stainless Steel watch backs

Sounds a bit like a guy I once worked with in a piano repair workshop. Any tool (screwdriver, pliers etc.) he used would be covered in something resembling rust within a few days!

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ISPs 'blindsided' by UK.gov's 'emergency' data retention and investigation powers law

DJV
Thumb Down

So what is the point?

Of Cameron and his cronies?

Not a damn jot!

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Get ready for LAYOFFS: Nadella's coma-inducing memo, with subtitles

DJV

"We help people get stuff done."

"We hinder people when they're trying to get stuff done."

FTFY

50
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You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

DJV
Meh

Re: But these are actually intelligent people ....

At one place I worked we (the programmers) instigated the use of fault sheets where other members of staff could report problems with the programs we were writing. The fault sheets contained boxes to specify which program it was, which screen/page of that program and a large box to describe what the fault was. I remember one coming in with neither of the first 2 filled in and, in the third large box, was written "Funny on screen" - magic!

0
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Farewell Felix Dennis, deal-maker supreme of tech publishing

DJV
Thumb Up

Anybody remember Soft?

Yes, and I still possess the copies that I managed to buy! Not quite the full run as I'm missing the Feb 1984 edition and anything that appeared after the March 84 edition.

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Daddy, what will you do in the new security wars?

DJV

Re: HELP

Didn't you write it down on a post-it note? Yeah, it's probably that one stuck to the side of the monitor with your other passwords and bank details. You know, the one in plain sight from the window.

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Verizon threatens Netflix in video lag blame game

DJV
Thumb Up

Fantastic...

Must buy popcorn and get a good ringside seat for the fight!

2
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TrueCrypt hooked to life support in Switzerland: 'It must not die' say pair

DJV
Meh

Re: CryptTrue

Or chuck it through an anagram generator and get:

Crept Yurt

Cry Putter

Pretty Urk

Ok, so maybe not!

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