* Posts by DJV

512 posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

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'If people can encrypt their cell phones, what's stopping them encrypting their PCs?'

DJV
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FAIL

Congressman John Carter

Ah, a politician - brain = optional extra

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Got a killer Microsoft or Oracle cloud deal? Start sweating

DJV
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Snake oil salesmen...

...will always be snake oil salesmen - it's just the brand of oil that changes every so often.

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Dear departed Internet Explorer, how I will miss you ... NOT

DJV
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Unhappy

Re: IE 4. Oh gods, no...

Where I worked we had one guy brick his desktop twice after installing IE4. We banned it throughout the organisation after that. I think we relented after Netscape got completely bloated and IE had reached version 4.5 and was found to be slightly less of a PC-bricking mess.

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RIP Sir Terry Pratchett: Discworld author finally gets to meet DEATH

DJV
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Not quite, apparently there is still a Tiffany Aching book in the pipeline that he completed last year.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31859255

But that's only a small consolation.

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UK call centre linked to ‘millions’ of nuisance robo-calls raided by ICO

DJV
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Mushroom

The ICO finally grew a pair - about fucking time!

See title.

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Life, the interview and everything: A chat with Douglas Adams

DJV
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Sri is:

here

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DJV
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TDV

Amazingly, www.tdv.com is still up and running - well, in a preserved sort of way - last updated 2001. A small homage to a great man.

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Snowden 'ready to return to US', claims lawyer

DJV
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FAIL

@ Matt Bryant

The only (snow)JOKE around here is your moronic post!

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Telly behemoths: Does size matter?

DJV
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FAIL

TV Size

Back in the early 1970s I worked for Rediffusion as an apprentice TV engineer and, due to my lowly status, was often used for delivering the rental TVs to new customers. One day we had to deliver a hulking great (well, it was the 70s) 26" Ferguson colour TV to a couple who were renting and living in a single tiny room in someone else's house. There was only space for a "bed" (a double mattress on the floor) and a small chest of drawers. The TV went on the latter. A 12" portable would have been more appropriate.

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RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered

DJV
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"This is how i really feel."

Please keep such feelings to yourself in future.

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Reckon YOU can write better headlines than us? Great – apply within

DJV
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Happy

@Primus Secundus Tertius

"You don't have yo agree with all of them."

...obviously a squiggle with which you decided to disagree!

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El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

DJV
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Joke

One question...

That top picture with the name "Lester Haines" underneath...

How drunk do you have to be before Lester actually looks like that?

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Fight back against illegal GCHQ spying with PAPERWORK!

DJV
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Re: @Valeyard - "haha!"

Shouldn't that have been "Bwahahahaha!"?

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In praise of China’s CROONING censors: Company songs NOW!

DJV
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Meh

Re: Since you mention it...

No, Alistair, that's where the BOFH was nearly 2 months ago. Is he still recovering from the miracle?

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BEHOLD the magnificent lunar backside in our MOON VIDEO

DJV
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Where are...

...the dustbin lids and music trees?

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This optical disc will keep your gumble safe for 2,000 YEARS

DJV
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Verbatim? Shudder...

Had some 5.25" floppies from them when I had a CBM Pet + 2031 disk drive back in the early 80s. They all failed after not very long. In the late 90s, a place I worked for had some Verbatim 3.5" disks. They were well dodgy as well. So, unless their attention to quality has vastly improved recently, I wouldn't place any bets on their 100Gb stuff lasting more than 10 years at best.

YMMV

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Breaking news: BBC FINALLY spots millions of mugshots on cop database

DJV
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@Brewster's Angle Grinder

"cat buglers"

It's the buggers with trombones that cause havoc in my neighbourhood!

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Lost SPACECRAFT believed FOUND ON COMET

DJV
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Happy

Yeah, but how do you pronounce it?

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Switch it off and on again: How peers failed to sneak Snoopers' Charter into terror bill

DJV
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Re: Write to your MP

Yeah, mine too.

Except I get the impression mine's rather more devious than the "Tim, nice but dim" image. She likes to get her mug in the local papers at every opportunity while doing extremely minor "attendances" at things like openings. However, most of the local constituents don't understand that she is stabbing us in in the back when she votes in parliament (she's pro fracking and was an architect of the gagging law amongst others).

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Game over? Sony FINALLY offers compensation to MEELLIONS of PSN hack victims

DJV
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FAIL

Today?

So, you should have had 4 days instead of 2 to select something if only Sony had actually managed to get their arse into gear and send you your email on time. I wonder how many people won't get their emails until the 27th or later...

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Alan Turing's LOST NOTEBOOK goes under the hammer

DJV
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I wondered where that had gone...

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MARS NEEDS BROADBAND, insists Elon Musk

DJV
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Internet on Mars?

No problem with latency if they just send a copy of the whole thing - it's small enough: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDbyYGrswtg

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‘Whatever happened to Vladimir Putin?’ and other crap New Year prophesies

DJV
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Happy

Re: Heavy...

Typo:

politicians lie

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Future imperfect: A UK broadband retrospective

DJV
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Facepalm

BT Preregistration

Oh hell, yes, I remember that - I think I'd signed up to mine for more than a year before they even thought about upgrading the local exchange. By the time they got around to announcing that they were finally going to upgrade it (at some point possibly 6 months in the future but, hey, we're BT so we will take as long as we want), NTL (as it was then) had got their cable broadband system up and running so I went for that instead.

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Kim Jong-Un shoot-em-up Glorious Leader! yanked

DJV
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@ Pen-y-gors

Yeah, I agree - the next stage is automate that offsite backup (with an easy to notice visual check if it ever stops working) and make it run at least twice a day!

Getting there....

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DJV
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Black Helicopters

Re: FTFY

Indeed, I'm just a one-man, self-employed, work from home, web developer but my backup solution verges on the paranoid as I've been bitten in the past:

1) I have 2 local web/data servers - they have 4 hard disks in each of them. The main OS is on the smallest drive so that, if I need to reinstall or update the OS (Ubuntu Linux Server) from scratch I can do that on a replacement drive so that the original drive can be put back in if problems arise. The other 3 disks hold data only. The backup server can be converted into a main server quite quickly.

2) A daily backup of the OS configuration files is made automatically via a CRON script (this helps if I need to swap which one is the main server).

3) The backup server constantly replicates the main one's files using CRON scripts which run at (half) hourly intervals - the more important ones get the more frequent backups.

4) The database does an almost instant update and the "home" page on all the web browsers I use (which displays links to all the sites on the servers and their live equivalents) displays a large red message if the two databases are not currently in sync.

5) Once a day the entire database is backed up. Four times a day the database tables that contain my rather more important time recording information are backed up.

6) Every hour a script runs which backs up anything changed on all the code in the past 48 hours and zips it up into a file on a different disk within the same server - this means that if I mess up something then versions that existed earlier in the day are still available. These files are also replicated to the backup server.

7) After finishing work each day I run manually scripts which copy any changed files from the "web" working disk to another disk on the main server. A dated full (once a month) or incremental (all other times) zip file is made of the code files for the site. Some of these go back 10 years. Again, these will get copied across to the backup server as soon as it runs the associated backup script.

8) Every 2 or 3 days I upload the latest versions of these files to an externally located server as offsite backup.

Paranoid or what?!

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Professor's BEAGLE lost for 10 years FOUND ON MARS

DJV
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Pixels? Easy...

Just ask Kryten:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMIHNiR3CP8

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2015 will be the Year of Linux on the, no wait, of the dot-word domain EXPLOSION

DJV
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Devil

Is there...

...a dot talkingbollocks, especially for marketdroids and clueless* politicians?

(* sorry, redundant term there)

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Broadband isn't broadband unless it's 25Mbps, mulls FCC boss

DJV
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Devil

I can't wait for...

... Ericpicklesband!

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Boffins spy I in your little eye

DJV
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Re: CSI?

Or even Red Dwarf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMIHNiR3CP8

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Doctor Who's tangerine dream and Clara's death wish in Last Christmas

DJV
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FAIL

No. It. Wasn't.

You've never had the "pleasure" of "Love and Monsters" or "Fear Her"?

And you could at least learn how to spell "Moffat" - sigh...

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: The long-ago geek gifts that made us what we are

DJV
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Blue and Yellow Meccano

Sigh. Thanks for making me feel even older. Mine was the green and red version from the 60s. I remember getting highly frustrated trying fit one particular nut onto a bolt. It was only when I peered inside the nut that I saw it hadn't actually had the thread cut into it!

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Apple scuttles NTP flaw in OS X – with 'first ever' silent auto update

DJV
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Re: Apple "recommends"?

Ah, now this explains it! I turned my Mac on after hearing about the update and immediately ran a check for updates. I suspect if I had not done that deliberate check then it would have done the notification update instead.

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DJV
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Re: Apple "recommends"?

That's weird - I didn't get a notification - it came up in the normal App Store updates with a full explanation instead. Another mystery that, no doubt, will never be explained!

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TRAGEDY STRIKES Vulture News Central but details remain scrambled

DJV
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Facepalm

If that's supposed to be funny...

...I didn't get the yolk.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

DJV
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Flame

No...

JUST

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Boffins cure BONING PROBLEMS in 'virtual lab'

DJV
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Happy

"Unless you can legally define a group of humans as sub-human test subjects"

Erm, politicians?

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Put me through to Buffy's room, please. Sony hackers leak stars' numbers, travel aliases

DJV
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Hopefully...

...SMG will dig out a couple of pointy bits of wood and stake someone in retribution - whether that's a Sony someone or a Grauniad of Piss someone, I don't particularly care!

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How HAPPY am I on a scale of 1 to 10? Where do I click PISSED OFF?

DJV
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Meh

Feel free...

'Feel free to replace “Virgin Media” with the preferred target of your irrational ire: BT, O2, Vodafone, DPD, Ocado, etc.'

Nope, Virgin Media will fit the bill just fine!

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Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop

DJV
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Facepalm

"apps built with Adobe Air"

Bloody Hell! People actually use that stuff to build apps?

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Holy cow! Fasthosts outage blamed on DDoS hack attack AND Windows 2003 vuln

DJV
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FAIL

"and we remain committed to providing the highest possible standards of service"

Ha ha, as if! They never have - this is SNAFU for FastHosts! Abandoned those useless tossers years ago (though a couple of my clients still use them).

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BOFH: An UNHOLY MATCH forged amid the sweet smell of bullsh*t

DJV
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Wow

Out BOFH'd by a primary BOFHess! Excellent stuff! There had better be a part 13!

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Microsoft snorefest: For crying out loud, Nadella – just channel Ballmer!

DJV
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Facepalm

"The genius of Ballmer"

The WHAT of Ballmer?

Now I've heard it all!

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Virgin Media CUTS OFF weekend 'net surfers after embarrassing smut-filtering snafu

DJV
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Re: "What the hell have you done with all the tits!!!"...

They went vertical.

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Got a STRAP-ON? Remember to TAKE IT OFF at WORK

DJV
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Re: Don't buy a crap watch

That watch... name, model and/or link please!

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Yes! It's DRONE PORN. And we don't mean shiny pics of UAVs

DJV
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Facepalm

Even porn's gone to the dogs

...especially around the 2:12 mark...

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Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM

DJV
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Alert

"Now she has reached the age of telling me to shut the fuck up."

Ah right, going by my partner's daughter, that will be 5 years old then!

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Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

DJV
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I look forward...

...to a time when such days are not needed due to gender discrimination becoming something completely relegated to the past. Given the sexist trolling still seen in various places (online or otherwise), I suspect it's still very much an uphill battle.

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Web Devs: Learn to build high performance websites to banish autumn blues

DJV
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Shouldn't this article have "Advertisement" splatted right across the top in big letters?

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