Re: This is the nub of it . .
There is no possiblity to "take two" of your options, either of points one and two exclude the possibility of three happening.
The single market is a single market of goods, services AND jobs. The rest of the EU have said very clearly that single market access means accepting freedom of movement and that it is non negotiable. It's not just Germany we'd be dealing with, any other EU member will be able to veto a prospective agreement if it's not acceptable to them. The eastern block countries (Poland especially) will never allow a deal where we retain market access without freedom of movement.
Countries which have access to the single market still contribute to the EU budget and we would pay about the same amount as we currently do as members.
In the single market as non members we'll have to accept EU directives but with no voice or role in defining the rules (no MEPs, no seat at the Council of Ministers, no EU commissioner, no rotating Presidency where we can set the agenda) it really will be the undemocratic (for us) "EU" dictating to us in a far more real sense than that which was put forward as a reason to vote for brexit..
The Brexiters never had any viable plan, there is no way forward for Britain outside of Europe that doesn't involve huge amounts of economic pain and the probable break up of the UK.
Trying to put on a brave face and make the best of it isn't the answer, democracy didn't stop with the brexit vote, the only reasonable response is to remain angry, keep demonstrating against this madness, keep talking about the issues and vote for a party that will keep us in Europe.