@Car HT leads

I've been hit by those. it was the single most painful thing i've done. Just got hit by one spark, but it was an in-one-arm out-the-other through-the-chest Oh-Fuck-my-heart-is-racing zap. Lucky i'm not an old guy with heart problems.

Reg standard unit of paranoia...

is obviously the (tinfoil hat)/(black helicopter) ratio in the area concerned.

so the more tinfoil hats per black helicopter in a given area, the higher the paranoia levels. the US has lots of black helicopters, but also a lot of paranoid people, probably comes to about ten.

tinfoil hat donned.

Battery powered?

so... will they be broadcasting constantly, or only when they receive a *ping*. I wonder what the so-called _RF_Sensitive's_ will think of that? That' gotta be a lot of transmitters.

I put on my tinfoil coat and hat.

H2G2

It was an Ident-i-Eeze, and was a very naughty and silly thing for Harl

to have lying around in his wallet, though it was perfectly

understandable. There were so many different ways in which you were

required to provide absolute proof of your identity these days that life

could easily become extremely tiresome just from that factor alone,

never mind the deeper existential problems of trying to function as a

coherent consciousness in an epistemologically ambiguous physical

universe. Just look at cash point machines, for instance. Queues of

people standing around waiting to have their fingerprints read, their

retinas scanned, bits of skin scraped from the nape of the neck and

undergoing instant (or nearly instant ? a good six or seven seconds in

tedious reality) genetic analysis, then having to answer trick questions

about members of their family they didn't even remember they had, and

about their recorded preferences for tablecloth colours. And that was

just to get a bit of spare cash for the weekend. If you were trying to

raise a loan for a jetcar, sign a missile treaty or pay an entire

restaurant bill things could get really trying.

Hence the Ident-i-Eeze. This encoded every single piece of information

about you, your body and your life into one all-purpose machine-readable

card that you could then carry around in your wallet, and therefore

represented technology's greatest triumph to date over both itself and

plain common sense.

Whoah...

<<-- I can't beleive i just did that.

And it's about time.

@The Solution

my connection in oz is 16 GB then flat rate of $4/GB, charged pro-rata per Mb, but they still _reserve the right to_ shape p2p between 4pm-1am if the network is saturated. It is, however, clearly in the ToS. Also, 1am-9am is counted at half the speed i.e download 2gb only 1 is counted. Also i have a fixed IP and they explicitly permit running servers on the website frontpage. <rot13>nnarg</rot13> if anyone is interested.

wedding tackle?

My vote goes to Full Monty.

Is there any difference on the woman, i couldn't tell.

if it was good enough for Michelangelo then it HAS to be good enough for the NHS.

War?

No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us...

@BitTwister

>> "guilty of selling tens of thousands of items of dodgy software."

>

>Isn't that what Microsoft already does?

except that Microsoft sells tens of Millions of copies of dodgy software.

should their fine be correspondingly larger?

The IT/PH angle..

an obtuse angle..

or is it an acute [pain] angle?

*COAT* ... *DOOR*

@Ice Cold Lager?

speaking as an aussie, isn't brittish room temperature pretty darn close to freezing anyway?

_

|\

Penguin because it's jolly cold in london ; )

Wouldn't happen to me

Plaintext files don't have a history function :-)

interesting thing to note - a .txt file with a few words made by notepad is ~1Kb, the same few words in word, save as .txt is ~32Kb!

@Number 12

"oh no, you said IT..."

"shit, now I said IT..."

"I said IT again..."

"I can't stop saying IT!..."

thanks, mine's the one hanging on the shrubbery...

Sorry

would the patients need to beg on bended knee for a replacement?

rusted joints, oh the iron-y

Coat donned, taxi called.

@Is it just me.....

amanfromMars is not getting understandable. You are approaching his level

@FAO: Lester Haines - Your Coat Sir!

A. Coward, You Are A God. I ROFL at your feet.

@ Ross Atkins

kangaroo steak is fantastic, as is Emu. .AU is the only country to eat the animals on the coat of arms. ;-)

Less than lethal??!!

Bollocks, high voltage is bad for you. I've been zapped by a car ignition coil, hurt like buggery, raced my heart for a good 5 minutes. I wouldn't feel safe about doing it again. And i'm young! An older person who has a less than healthy heart could easily be killed by these things. ~Taser~ should stop marketing them as "less than lethal" and rather as "usually non-lethal". I wonder what the stats are?

youtube

has pulled the clip.

alternative, anyone?

We're Stuffed

Everyone knows that cockroaches are unkillable

I for one welcome our unassailable robot overlords

I Wonder

I wonder what she did for the 84 minutes.

Surely no cop cares enough about the woman to last that long

i'll get me coat.

@@ Drunk drving bastards

I second that motion.

/stands *Applause*

i'm 19 (.au legal drinking age 18) and i've never been drunk. Ever.

Quite frankly i don't much see the point.

All drunk drivers are tossers and should get 10 years --> life in jail.

Poor Bloke...

...got into a flap.

was he called Tom?

I'll get me coat.

@Australian Salt Water crocs

Wikipedia gives.

Saltwater Crocodile

• largest of all living crocodilians and reptiles

Saltwater crocodiles can take monkeys, kangaroo, wild boar, dingos, goannas, birds, domestic livestock, pets, **water buffalo**, gaur, leopards, sharks, and humans, among other large animals as well.

...strength to drag a fully grown water buffalo into a river, or crush a full-grown bovid's skull between its jaws.

I live in AUS. I've seen these. SCARY!

wedding tackle?

Well he had a dog of a day.

Not Wedding tackle but Seperation Tackle.

presumably she wanted him to get the snip?

[rule 8 invoked] [taxi called]

@@The Secptic

and that is a problem why?

is Anonymous Coward jealous?

it's pulling off a ratings hit

[rule 8 invoked]

@Top story?

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary, and those who don't.

/coat/door

@Dan

Gallipoli - brittish generals sent us to the wrong beach, held it for 8 months against the turks who held the heights

The siege of Tobruk - held against large german armoured force for 6 months

New Guinea - forced the japs back, the first time the japs lost a battle in WWII

Vietnam - we were there 3 years before the US, at the request of the South Vietnam Govt.

Yes we have an army.

an aussie.

Lager

I'd happily buy the BOFH a drink.

Several drinks.

A lost weekend.

Brilliant!

@He's a witch burn her

VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.

BEDEMIR: And therefore--?

VILLAGER #1: A witch!

CROWD: A witch!

BEDEMIR: We shall use my larger scales!

[yelling]

BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports!

[whop]

[creak]

CROWD: A witch! A witch!

WITCH: It's a fair cop.

CROWD: Burn her! Burn! [yelling]

@real crime

If they implant electrodes, why would they bother waiting for the crime to be committed? Caught in the planning surely? for that matter why show up? 50 Kv applied directly to brain ought to do the trick!

It's not just law.uk and law.usa that is going down the drain, law.au is pretty bad too! We should all move to International Waters.

Norton AV

not really a decent Antivirus solution.

Recently (with a fully up-to-date Nortons install running) my computer began exhibiting symptoms of a virus. Unplugged it from the network, installed Avast, Removed Nortons, Avast found 26 viruses, remved them all, now PC is fine. It runs much faster now too.

@Abdul Omar

Feed the troll.

I recently replaced my Old Beige box with a brand new Mac laptop and I have to say it's the best computer purchase I ever made.

That PC was such a pain to use.

Now I can finally run the latest version of Mac OS. Microsoft upgraded Microsoft Windows in 2007 so as you can imagine it's pretty slow and buggy. Also the integration with my home network never worked properly. Useless I say.

Thank god I'll never again be exposed to the brutal inadequacies of the slow, virus polluted, ugly, inelegant Vista.

Good work with OS X, Steve Jobs sir. My turban's off to you.

I'm now thinking of getting a massive new desktop Mac from Ebay or some other Website so I can run the Same version of OS X and the latest Ubuntu too.

and the winner is...

The iPhone

Obviously

Jobs is God

/troll

cue fanboiz

well well...

...It looks like she's in the shit now.

thanks mate, its the long brown one at the back

...Can you call me a cab?

Easier Solution

Who's up for a round of Golf?

one point twenty-one...

...jigga.....euro's?