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* Posts by Select * From Handle

188 posts • joined 31 Jul 2009

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Microsoft denies report of Office coming to iPad

Select * From Handle
Devil

Why would Microsoft give the iPad any productive functionality?

I have set up a few IPads for sales reps at work, iPads fail hugely when it comes to business functionality. You can get iWork which is kinda office but it takes ages to load and generally Fails at document management. The IPad does connect to exchange well though.

Microsoft will let the iPad stay as a £600 Facebook machine that plays FGRA (flash game rehash apps) that have been around on the web for years...

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Bogus Pokemon evolves into iTunes smash hit

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Doesn't apple review app's prior to release?

I thought they did. To let one go through that doesn't work and is a complete fake is a massive fail by apple.

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Virgin Media touts high-speed signups and TiVO

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Thumb Up

something must be wrong at your end.

"Also worth noting that VM recently got knicked by the ASA for misleading adds in relation to online gaming (i.e they're crap, but claim to be the best)."

im a VM 100meg user and i have a 5ms response connection, and most games i have played have a ping of 15ms, so far it is the best connection i have had. i have also been on BEtheir which is touted as the best for gaming b4 fiber but it is nothing compaired to the connection i have now.

tbh i dont think anyone needs a connection that higher than 50meg. most of the time you will never need to use it. you will only need to use it if u are downloading a game/HDfilm/bigprogram and 90% of the time your download speed will never be achieved because the site/service you are downloading it from doesn't have the upload speed to match.

until VM and BT lower prices for business fiber so more businesses can enjoy fast upload speed most of the time my 100meg connection is wasted.

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El Reg in SHOCK email address BLUNDER

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Joke

Cheers for the free mailing list :D

Would anyone like to buy some Viagra?

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Libel reform vows to slay anonymous trolls

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Thumb Up

I would like to complain about these posts!

Most of the posts on this page are glorifying being anonymous! i would like to complain about ALL of them and if they all don't reveal who they are and come back with a compelling argument as to why they are glorifying this subject. i want you to remove this news artical!

See what i did?

:D

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Stallman: Jobs exerted 'malign influence' on computing

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Trollface

Job's has gone but

unfortunatly he has left behind his Genius staff, which at the weekend when i contacted them about purchases missing on my iTunes account.

They sent me about ten different links to Disney, Universal and other film production company's.

Saying that i should take it up with them as they are the content providers!

To which i pointed out that i had purchased the films through iTunes and that they are providing me with the content and that i wasn't about 2 email universal saying (hey their in lar lar land my purchases on itunes have disappeared! its your fault! GRRRRRR! )

Genius's i think not...

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Schoolkids learn coding at GCSE level in curriculum trial

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Thumb Up

Defiantly a step in the right direction.

I wish they had taught me programming at GCSE, instead of hours of formatting word:(

It my bring a whole new generation of script kiddy's to the table but its defiantly better!

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MPs blast dole-office-online plans

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FAIL

i don't get this...

England is in a recession with many people losing job and thus turning to the jobcenter for income support and guidance. And to cope with the increased demand they ("the committee says that Jobcentre Plus plans to become a smaller organisation and to rationalise its existing offices to correspond with the increase in online applications.") decide to become a smaller organisation?

Government Fail IMO.

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BT trying for fibre 'monopoly', claims TalkTalk chief

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Re: Virgin?

my VM has 10meg upstream....

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Select * From Handle
Happy

It can try but

Virgin Media is 100x better imo! i have had VM 100meg now for half a year with huge bandwidth, great ping for gameing and an awesome Tivo service. dont see why i would opt for BT....

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Logitech Touch Lapdesk N600

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FAIL

I like the idea but

i spotted a problem...

I need a laptop cooler for my laptop as it heats up very quick. i check the tech specs for this lapdesk and i noticed that its selling points are all about stopping the heat from burning your legs... so where does this heat go? it has no mention of cooling fans. from what i can gather it just insulates it and thus overheats your laptop quicker.

For this reason i wont be buying one. but i might try and fashion one of my own with a laptop cooler.

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iPhone users richer, brainier, more tasteful than Android-ers

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Thumb Up

To Sum up Hunch Survey

If you are an iPhone user you are more likely to be an upper class citizen with a degree pay'd for by dady, who enjoys musicals, fine wines and spirits and who has more money than sense since. Because for the last 10-20 years you have been buying mac because apple have aimed at the premium market with no real functionality...

Makes me sick...

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Sony prices up PlayStation telly for UK

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Thumb Down

Spectators?

I don't know about you lot but when i get together with my family/brothers/friends and if we decided to have a game of say, COD. Usually their isn't enough control pads to go around, resulting in people watching/cheering you on. i don't see how it would be possible for people to watch, i assume it would be like looking at the Scanners off "a scanner darkly"...

Although this would remove the old problem of Screen looking!

but because of the lack of spectators and the fact that you will need the specs ( i already need to ware one pair of specs to be able to see HD, wearing 3D specs over my specs is just annoying) i think i would give this a miss.

3D stylish proper specs to help people see from specsavers that can sync with multiple 3D devices, now thats something you should invent sony!

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Cops tweet about cuffed twits who incited violence via Twitter

Select * From Handle
Boffin

To Quote 300

"Give them nothing! but take from them EVERYTHING!"

Where is my Spartan icon?

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Naughty JavaScript can be planted in IM status messages

Select * From Handle
Happy

I used to use ICQ years ago ( i mean like 10+)

It was great at the time for keeping in contact with ya mates but it then lost out to MSN messenger.

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Dragon-owned Expansys bemoans weak UK gadget lust

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Thumb Down

why would you by from Expansys?

You can see how expensive they are by comparing their iphones to the ones on the apple website. Expansys are £70-£80 more expensive! that is ALOT.

Expansys's is selling the iphone 4 16gb white at almost the same price as apple selling the 32gb version.

You would have to be insane to pay that.

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Apple unveils 'World's First Thunderbolt Display'

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Doesnt LED Contrast ratio start in the millions?

"The 27-inch Thunderbolt Display has an LED-backlit, 2560-by-1440 pixel, 16:9, in-plane swtiching (IPS) screen, which Apple says has a brightness of 375 cd/m2 and a 1000:1 contrast ratio." - not sure if that is a type and meant to be LCD or the CR is meant to be 1.000.000:1.

also i couldn't see a response time on that artical? or is that just as shocking for a £1000 monitor?

a quick look on overclockers.co.uk and i can see the same size monitors with better specs at half the price (yes no thunderbolt port but i only know of macs having them atm so i dont see the benifit)

on the upside. it does look nice, why not make it more competitive with other monitors so if window's users were to buy them they would have an apple logo in their face?

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ISS and Atlantis crews face 'daunting' box-shifting job

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I did a little editing on your artical.

They now just have to empty Raffaello of "0 pounds [0 metric tonnes] of spare parts, spare equipment, and other supplies - including 0 pounds of food - that will sustain space station operations for a year".

Objects have no weight in space :D

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One per cent of world's web browsing happens on iPad

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Thumb Up

It would be good to see that graph with a ipad sales graph.

because with the February dip it looks like people get bored with the ipad. then in march after everyone has been paid and has money in the bank "finally" after the xmas spending spree. they have then gone out and bought into the ipad fad.

you would even be able to map out the Sales to bored ratio :D

i.e. 1 in 2 ipadders get bored after a month of their fan slab.

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iPhone app remotely spies on Windows computers

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Thumb Down

Why does it spy on only windows?

Why not spy on mac's to? or would that annoy jobs to much and cause an instant ban?

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Ten... festival survival gadgets

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Pint

Festivals and gadgets! noooooooooooooo!

i would never take anything of any real value to a festival! looting is very common. Tent, beer, food, toiletries and some clean cloths. i would never take an iphone or ipad to a festival.... if you are playing on an ipad at a festival you are one boring person! :D

The only gadgets i would use off that list is the waterproof bags, the intruder alarm 2 keep peskie kids out of my beer tent! and that totally awesome tracking thing! i would attach the bug in the bottem of my crate of beer and if it gets rob'd track em down and get my beer back. WIN!

Beer because that all you really need at a festival!

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Nokia E6 smartphone

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I think this will fail...

why?

because this is the first time i have herd about this phone. as good as it may be, nokia need to advertise more...

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US air passenger cuffed over low-flying pants

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Devil

I am all for this measure!

Down in Memphis, though, they prefer more drastic measures. Last October, one citizen became so outraged by a couple of low-riders that, having failed to persuade them to dress in a manner appropriate for Tennessee, shot one in the backside with a semi-automatic pistol.

WIN!

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Google bypasses admin controls with latest Chrome IE

Select * From Handle
WTF?

WTF

"Google is well aware of this. But the company says that if admins don't like it, they can use separate admin Google tools to stop it from happening."

The only time users wont have admin privs is when they are in a locked down work environment where some of the functionality of the company maybe run through internet explorer. so why would google go out of their way to put chrome into I.E? i my self love chrome but i would not put it into internet explorer! its slow enuff without having weird add-on thrown in the mix.

WTF separate admin tool? will i have to have it constantly running and why should i have to run the tool at all? thats like me going into ASDA and super glueing a massive poster for Tesco's up on the wall and saying, im fully aware of what i have dun but you can go get some white spirits and take it down.

Google just lost a point in my books..

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World braces for domain name EXPLOSION

Select * From Handle

pointless but

i can see apple taking ".apple" and uni-forming all apple reseller to have .apple on their websites. like "www.traffordcenter.apple" .

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European Council: Creating hacking tools should be criminal across EU

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all well and good shouting about how it should be illegal but...

how would IT admins test their defences against hackers if it was illegal to create hacking tools? who would create the LOIC so i can fire it at my servers and see if it would fail?

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iCloud Communications sues Apple for 'irreparable injury' to trademark

Select * From Handle

i think you are a bit confused as to what cloud computing is.

what icloud offers is voip services hosed on their network. they deal with all the DDI analogue lines converting them at their PBX or Servers for the fax lines (or something to that fashion). because its all done at their end and made available over the internet, it is a cloud service.

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Select * From Handle
Gimp

Unlucky Apple

In my opinion after seeing that icloud communications have been going for 5 years apple should not be able to use the name icloud as a brand at all... regardless of how much advertising they have put into the name icloud. icloud communications will now suffer for years to come as a result of apple.

only options for apple to keep the icloud brand.

A. buy out icloud coms, if they were to accept an offer...

B. pay them a hefty amount in compensation, as their isn't really hope for that company any more.

pre pair to be spanked apple..

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Apple purges drunk-driving apps

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Joke

out with competition.

give it a month or two and i think apple will release an app thats errrmmm... very similar.

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Google's Eric Schmidt 'screwed up' over social network FAIL

Select * From Handle
Gimp

He must have lived in a hole... and missed the myspace craze..

"Facebook's done a number of things which I admire," said Schmidt.

"It's the first generally available way of disambiguating identity. Historically, on the internet such a fundamental service wouldn't be owned by a single company. I think the industry would benefit from an alternative to that... Identity is incredibly useful because in the online world you need to know who you are dealing with."

no wonder he hung up his boots....

did he ever hear of myspace? myspace was also better in my opinion but not everyone knew how to code their own page to their liking, so i think thats why most people left. That and the constant spam from facebook saying you have been invited because one of your friends added their contact list to the facebook spambot...

Fanboi just because its a gimp lol! i think ima look at every mac user like that now hahahah

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Who's nicked Vaz's fondleslab?

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Thumb Up

i agree.

"No word on whether the office was locked or not but Vaz is outraged at the lack of security, according to the Beeb. He said a "more robust approach" to security was needed."

I Agree Vaz!

Fire you and employ someone who can look after expensive gadgets that have been given to you via the tax payers pocket. not to mention the data that has been lost on said gadgets.

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El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

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Thumb Up

rated 12+ on iphone lol

i just got the app on my blackberry, i wasn't aware of any age needed for that.

i also don't see how its a 12+ when you cant see the constant (Microsoft Users Vs Apple Fanboi Vs Linux Penguin Vs Opera Lords) comment wars, it can get pretty brutal...

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New Mac fake-defenders similar to Windows scareware

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Jobs Horns

I think the reason for Apple's denial of this trojan's existence is

that people who would want their money back for their crapintosh, could just install this mac defender onto their mac and demand their money back under the sales of goods act for failing to provide them with their impervious computer that they were SOLD.

people who by macs tend to pay ALOT for each unit. i dont think apple would like to give them the same amount of money back :D

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Apple to support reps: Don't confirm Mac infections

Select * From Handle
Heart

And where can one download this Trojan?

i would love to go into one of these Fanboi Shops, ask a Fanboi shop assistant

(because you can only be employed by apple if you are a MASSIVE FAN OF APPLE)

to show me one of the mac's. then browse to the trojan sites and be like

"erm so how do you fix that then? im sure a minute a go you said that these are impervious to any Malware/Virus/Trojans. "

But then again i guess it would be like telling some religious fanatic that god doesn't exist and proving it right in front of them.

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Sony Vaio VPCF21Z1E 16in laptop

Select * From Handle
WTF?

let me get this right...

You can play 2D DVD's, anime and whatever you have shot on a cam in 3D yet blueray's you cant?

is this some built in feature to make you buy 3D edition of the blueray?

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Survey shows slab-fondlers are loving their iPads

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Joke

This is getting a bit like kids arguing...

Reg Post 1 - "IPADS are taking over the world!"

Reg Post 2 - "Nah tablets are a bit useless"

Reg Post 3 - "NEW IPAD OMG fanbois foam at the mouth"

Reg Post 4 - "actually these tables haven't hindered PC growth at all?"

Reg Post 5 - "survey shows fanbois love what they spent money on"

To be honest i am bored with these tablet devices, it reminds me of Yo-Yo's in school! "yeah i had a Pro-Yo it was the shiz"

I will stick to my desktop.... no i wont, yes i will, no i wont, yes i will, no i wont, yes i will, no i wont, yes i will, no i wont, yes i will, no i wont, yes i will.....

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Counter-Strike gamers explore bin Laden bag site

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Joke

Is this

a hostage map or a plant the bomb map? also does it come with Bin ladin plugins?

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Spotify's new desktop client cuts off iTunes

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Jobs Horns

Enjoy the app whilst it lasts?

Judge Jobs - I AM LAW!

This app seems to be impeding on our itunes profits...

(re-writes developers terms and conditions)

Sorry spotify you are no longer allowed to be put your app on anything apple!

Judge Jobs - I AM LAW!

Judge Dread icon please !

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Apple floats iCloud for 'email, music, and beyond'

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Joke

Incoming lawsuits against

any company promoting cloud services once fanbois start giving apple money for this... i am sure apple have some patent for the turm iCloud and anything that is remotely similar...

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White iPhone 4 spotted, 'shipped to Apple stores'

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Joke

I wonder what this looks like on the apple tracking screen.

with all the recent apply tracking stuff, i asume once they have flown off the shelves into the hands of fanbois and connected to itunes that apple can replay the distribution. i guess it would look like fireworks on a map :P

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World's Biggest Pac-Man keeps growing

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FAIL

It works in chrome....

so its not just for IE9 you browsers fail :P

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iPhones secretly track 'scary amount' of your movements

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Thumb Up

Makes me laugh

"The researchers were quick to point out that there is no evidence Apple or anyone else has accessed the information"

This just means apple have done a good job not getting caught....

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Calling all commentards: Want some new icons?

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Rebecca Black icon?

With the letters FAIL over her head?

i would like to see that hahah

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Smartphones eat games handhelds and cameras for lunch

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Thumb Down

You can really compare iphones and mobiles with PSP's and DS's

Yes they both play games, but they are two different kettles of fish... average cost per app game £0-£5 vs games you have to buy in a shop £10-£30. if you are going to put those two categories together what about chrome, ie, firefox, opera, safari? you can play games on browsers on the move free and many people do....

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Microsoft markets 'collection' of PCs to consider

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Thumb Down

Good Idea Microsoft Bad Design....

just checked the page out.

the first 4 categories was was good but once you click one, it stays with the same layout and you have to scroll right to see the others. once you click on one of the pc/laptops, it sometimes doesn't even tell you where to get the laptop from or how much...

it would be better if, after you have clicked a category to have a list style, blog layout of all the laptop/pc's in that category with a price next to them so people could compair theim without having to click each pc/laptop.

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Whitehats pierce giant hole in Microsoft security shield

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RE:They are a joke

what they were saying was it could crash IIS Service not the server. Because its only a service crash Microsoft wouldn't spend time on fixing it as it takes only a few seconds to a minute to bring it back up. if it was to actually crash a the server OS im pretty sure Microsoft would have spent more time to fix the issue. learnt about the OS before you flame it.

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Plane or train? Tape or disk? Reg readers speak

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Tape is more cost effective for Small Business users? erm no.

weirdly i have been looking at backup solutions today for a friends start up company of around 15 users 1mail 1 file and 1SQL server. they would like to remove the backup and take off site and also recover deleted files quickly.

They can achieve their requirements for around £1500 New system total but it will actualy only cost them around £600 as they only need for symantec backup exec they have the rest lying around as spares.

Needed:

Server or PC

Windows Server OS

Symantec Backup

2x icybox removable storage drives

2x 1TB HDD or 2TB HDD as they grow

Plan

Backup with remote agents from the other servers to removable HDD's

1 of them for offsite backup that they can take out everyday. the other for incremental archiving.

This offers fast and reliable backup solution

as they arnt a big company they wont use more than 1TB of data for the foreseeable future and no staff are waiting to long for someone to restore data for them.

yes its not as cheap as a tape drives but time is money right? if you can save time you earn more money! i can see bigger company's will still use tape drives for archiving huge amounts of data but small business's... really?

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Intel and Micron reach flash frontier

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Thumb Up

Intel Mobo's with Flash chip windows OS built in C'mon u know u can do it intel!

:D would be a great selling piece.

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Winfrasoft touts pattern-based password alternative

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FAIL

Bit of a fail though?

at first i though "this is not a bad idea... it may eliminate the problem of users forgetting their passwords after password reset policy" but looking at the picture of their login screen i noticed "AD Password" which i am assuming is Active Directory password... that being the case, it would just cause more problems for users and the IT staff that will be called to reset/assist there password problems as users have trouble remembering one password never mind a pattern also...

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Seven... SSD sizzlers

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FAIL

Vertex 3?

http://www.overclockers.co.uk/showproduct.php?prodid=HD-071-OC&groupid=701&catid=14&subcat=1427

When i pre-orderd these they were cheaper than some of the other SSD at the same capacity and twice the speed.... weird that its not mentioned... it should be at the one spot...

But due to ocz stock delivery problems i decided that i would change my order of 2 of these to 1 240gb vertex 3. i have had it running for a week now, not a single problem and its blisteringly quick.

*the price of other SSD's has dropped since the arrival of vertex 3, this alone should make it top right? cheaper SSD's for everyone!

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