Ok Watson, why can't hedgehogs just share the hedge?
76 posts • joined 30 Jul 2009
How am I meant to use my big dictaphone with this?
Ok Siri, what is the secret of man's red fire?
I for one ...
Welcome our Space Lettuce System overlords!
A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
Re: “Goto statement considred harmful”
Add an 'if' statement to a program and it increases complexity by a power of 2.
Why pick on the 'Goto' when it is the 'If' statement which causes the damage,
Re: I hope Cameron has remembered to send the 2015 ...
Aid to India and South Africa ends in 2015
Existing schemes that have already been agreed will continue until the last of them concludes in 2015, when all UK financial aid to the country will cease.
Officials said Miss Greening was told that the Indian government valued Britain’s “technical assistance” far more than money.
Re: Read between the lines
The primary duty of a director is to maximise their bonus at all costs.
Re: @ TrishaD
Perhaps it's synonym of tnetennba
Re: Ok, excuse me for asking but HTF do they know it is from Mars?
Because it doesn't look like ones from Uranus!
Re: VAT is the answer?
As a programmer my interest is in building and designing systems not to fail. Ignoring the questions of morality, can we not come up with a tax system which cannot be evaded by off-shoring etc?
VAT is the answer?
Wouldn't it be simpler to replace all these taxes with something like a transaction tax instead?
He should go before be stains the company name
Re: But... This is unfair to the gnomes!
Kemo sabay, the white man speak with forked tongue!
Just how much do you want to borrow asked the loan arranger?
It's not that hard to add a gui frontend to powershell scripts
No Highway in the Sky
Did they take the temperature changes into account? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Highway_in_the_Sky)
Special Projects Bureau
Special mission to Iainbanks to install a shrubbery?
Mars ain't the kind of place
Let's aim for Uranus instead!
Mean What You Say
This way we can all have unlimited fixed price contracts which are capped with variable costs
Re: Chasing its tail (and no, not the aformentioned cat...)
Keep it simple - just smash two particles of cod in a large haddock colander and count the number of Higgs Bosun's produced!
Re: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
>Haven't we already got one AManFromMars?
MenFromMars have advanced technology such as mobile hard knotted light holgramatic projectors, the Holly Hop drive, whereas MenFromEarth are still peeling their own potatoes with their metal knives, boiling them for twenty of their minutes, then smashing them all to bits!
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
I once dreamt that I was an iBod device with a hard light projector connected to a cloud based server running a copy of my last brain dump. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality?
Re: The Spirit of compromise ...
Does it matter as long as it's not Uranus?
Re: If we are no alone
Or they could try getting hold Culturally Bounded Rationality by S Kaur (http://www.opengrey.eu/item/display/10068/457498) where applying Gödel's incompleteness theorems finds that "higher beings" are simultaneously both more rational and irrational than "lower beings." Much as say, chimpanzees would see human actions as being more rational and irrational at the same time.
Re: How about discrimination?
If the sign said "Mongolian all you can eat" wouldn't that exclude all non-Mongolians?
Where is Moist Von Lipwig when you need him?
Sent via the Clacks Network
Who Needs Computers!
Just give them a copy of Computer Programming Techniques (A TutorText Book) by Theodore G Scott and those that want to learn programming will.
Satire is Dead
Stop trying to rewrite history(?) It was the perfidious humans who attacked first. What happened next was just self-defence!
Why would I read GiffGaffs T&C's when I'm not even with them?
Why is El Reg labelling paying GIffGaff customers Freetards?
Failing to understand the meaning of the word unlimited is no excuse for GiffGaff or the author of this article!!
Hang on PAL!
Except those of us in the uk with our "We're so superior" 625 lines.
What do nuclear scientists eat for Dinner?
Amazing - who'd thunk it, that by colliding two large haddocks together they would end up finding the cod particle!
You calll that a Gamma Ray Stupendo-Explosion DEATHMATCH?
Don't make me angry.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry......
The Empty Set contains nothing (ie 0), So it is Not Empty!
Einstein defined things in mathematical terms and whilst a mathematically defined vacuum is truly empty, a physical vacuum is not as it contains quantum particles popping in and out of existence.
Einstein based his theory on equations that work beautifully in accordance with the underlying mathematical assumptions and until the Opera people can physically conduct their experiments within that mathematical framework or break one his underlying assumptions, I'd say Einstein wins!
Take That, Brid-Aine Parnell
Einstein said that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light which he defined as c. As far as I can remember I don't think he ever said what the particular numerical value c takes. It varies with the medium in which it travels e.g water, atmosphere, vacuum, void space etc.
The people at Opera can bang on about their measurements like veritable pilgrims but the ultimate clash at demonhead won't occur until they measure the unimpeded speed of light in void space and until then the register should not let them get away scot free with their claims!
Shares May Go Up Or Down In Value!
Nobody forced anybody into buying Northern Rock shares.
Heads you win, tails we lose.
Yes they did!
From Bloomberg Business (http://www.businessweek.com/news/2011-11-17/u-k-treasury-takes-loss-on-northern-rock-sale-to-virgin.html)
'Billionaire Richard Branson’s Virgin Money Holdings U.K. Ltd. will acquire the company for 747 million pounds ($1.2 billion). Osborne’s predecessor, Alistair Darling, spent 1.4 billion pounds to recapitalize the Newcastle, England-based lender in 2008 and split it into two units. Government loans totaling 26.7 billion pounds are underpinning the bad bank, which is not part of today’s proposed sale.'
And we get to hold onto the 26.7 billion pounds of negative equity - wow!!!
Has El Reg Sold Us Out!
Really surprised that the reg reporter didn't disclose the fact that the Treasury paid £1.4 billion for Northern Rock, It was really good of the government to shower such largesse on the rich by selling it for for £747m. And as usual this generosity to the rich will have to be made good by the poor through taxation.
Playmobil erection or it didn't happen!
Sing along now - "She don't eat meat but she sure like the bone"
Damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Having bought one from the US and paid the exorbitant shipping charges because there was no reports on El Reg about UK price cuts, El Reg finally really did it. You maniacs! You posted this today! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!
Global Warming is a much bigger problem
than the noise from these giant fans that we have to run in order to keep cool!
No Use in Crying Over Spilt Milk!
The important question is not how the Universe started but what to do as the final curtain is about to come down.
Do the evolved beings around at that time side with Hawkings and simply accept that they cannot meddle in the affairs of the physics god and the fate of future universes is left hanging on random events and pure chance.
Or do they rebel and seek to recreate the universe in the image of the existing one so it too is as optimized for life as the current one once was.
Please note the evolved beings referred to in this post are not supernatural beings but are based on existing life forms and extrapolations of technological development over the intervening millennia.
When it gets close to that point, hopefully there will be sufficiently intelligent designers around who will simply reboot the universe so that we can all get back to arguing whether the universe arose by chance or not.
Bargain at half the price
Should really have cost him an arm and a leg!
Cobol Like No Other!
In the early 1980's the Cobol environment I used, had a Data Dictionary System which held all data definitions in common, including screen interfaces with company standard defined validation rules which were all checked for in Cobol by the Validate verb so you only had to do was add in the logic,
Does it Matter?
Let's just get on building a Skylon/Vasimr hybrid so we send up a task force to sieze the valuable stuff from those Selenites and their mega-brain ruler!