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* Posts by AlgernonFlowers4

69 posts • joined 30 Jul 2009

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IBM was wrong to force UK workers off final salary pensions – judge

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Re: Read between the lines

The primary duty of a director is to maximise their bonus at all costs.

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Gay hero super-boffin Turing 'may have been murdered by MI5'

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: @ TrishaD

Perhaps it's synonym of tnetennba

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ROCK FROM MARS FOUND in Africa, reveals Red Planet's SECRETS

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: Ok, excuse me for asking but HTF do they know it is from Mars?

Because it doesn't look like ones from Uranus!

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Cameron pledges public access to list of who REALLY owns firms

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: VAT is the answer?

As a programmer my interest is in building and designing systems not to fail. Ignoring the questions of morality, can we not come up with a tax system which cannot be evaded by off-shoring etc?

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AlgernonFlowers4

VAT is the answer?

Wouldn't it be simpler to replace all these taxes with something like a transaction tax instead?

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Siemens to throw CEO overboard after profits slashed a FIFTH time

AlgernonFlowers4

He should go before be stains the company name

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Surface RT: A plan worthy of the South Park Underpants Gnomes

AlgernonFlowers4
WTF?

Re: But... This is unfair to the gnomes!

Kemo sabay, the white man speak with forked tongue!

Just how much do you want to borrow asked the loan arranger?

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Graphical front ends for PowerShell? Here's a couple for you

AlgernonFlowers4

Wimps!

It's not that hard to add a gui frontend to powershell scripts

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Boeing batteries back under spotlight as 787 burns at Heathrow

AlgernonFlowers4

No Highway in the Sky

Did they take the temperature changes into account? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Highway_in_the_Sky)

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Star bosses name asteroid to honor author Iain Banks

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Special Projects Bureau

Special mission to Iainbanks to install a shrubbery?

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China’s state-run rags brand Mars One mission a scam

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Mars ain't the kind of place

Let's aim for Uranus instead!

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Ofcom looks at contract opt-outs as users rage over price hikes

AlgernonFlowers4
Meh

Mean What You Say

This way we can all have unlimited fixed price contracts which are capped with variable costs

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Boffins cook raw numbers, hope to bake PERFECT kilogram

AlgernonFlowers4
Pint

Re: Chasing its tail (and no, not the aformentioned cat...)

Keep it simple - just smash two particles of cod in a large haddock colander and count the number of Higgs Bosun's produced!

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Light ties itself in knots - spontaneously

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

>Haven't we already got one AManFromMars?

MenFromMars have advanced technology such as mobile hard knotted light holgramatic projectors, the Holly Hop drive, whereas MenFromEarth are still peeling their own potatoes with their metal knives, boiling them for twenty of their minutes, then smashing them all to bits!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

I once dreamt that I was an iBod device with a hard light projector connected to a cloud based server running a copy of my last brain dump. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality?

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Register SPB hacks mull chopping off feet

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: The Spirit of compromise ...

Does it matter as long as it's not Uranus?

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Astroboffins to search for mega-massive alien power plants

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: If we are no alone

Or they could try getting hold Culturally Bounded Rationality by S Kaur (http://www.opengrey.eu/item/display/10068/457498) where applying Gödel's incompleteness theorems finds that "higher beings" are simultaneously both more rational and irrational than "lower beings." Much as say, chimpanzees would see human actions as being more rational and irrational at the same time.

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Brighton marathon munchers banned from all-you-can-eat diner

AlgernonFlowers4
FAIL

Re: How about discrimination?

If the sign said "Mongolian all you can eat" wouldn't that exclude all non-Mongolians?

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O2's titsup network struggles to find its feet

AlgernonFlowers4
WTF?

Going Postal

Where is Moist Von Lipwig when you need him?

Sent via the Clacks Network

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That new 'Microsoft GCSE': We reveal what's in it

AlgernonFlowers4

Who Needs Computers!

Just give them a copy of Computer Programming Techniques (A TutorText Book) by Theodore G Scott and those that want to learn programming will.

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'IT is no place for the little ladies', says Dell mouthpiece

AlgernonFlowers4
FAIL

Satire is Dead

And Irony!

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Nuclear Mars tank thrusts hard into perfect position

AlgernonFlowers4
Alien

Perfidious?

Stop trying to rewrite history(?) It was the perfidious humans who attacked first. What happened next was just self-defence!

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GiffGaff boots freetards off mobile network

AlgernonFlowers4
WTF?

Giff Gaffe?

Why would I read GiffGaffs T&C's when I'm not even with them?

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AlgernonFlowers4
WTF?

Forked Tongues!

Why is El Reg labelling paying GIffGaff customers Freetards?

Failing to understand the meaning of the word unlimited is no excuse for GiffGaff or the author of this article!!

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Apple's TV killer 'on shelves by summer 2012'

AlgernonFlowers4
Facepalm

Hang on PAL!

Except those of us in the uk with our "We're so superior" 625 lines.

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God particle hunt breakthrough expected TODAY

AlgernonFlowers4

What do nuclear scientists eat for Dinner?

Amazing - who'd thunk it, that by colliding two large haddocks together they would end up finding the cod particle!

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Christmas gamma burst stupendo-explosion DEATHMATCH

AlgernonFlowers4
Mushroom

You calll that a Gamma Ray Stupendo-Explosion DEATHMATCH?

Don't make me angry.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry......

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Neutrinos still FASTER THAN LIGHT in second test

AlgernonFlowers4

The Empty Set contains nothing (ie 0), So it is Not Empty!

Einstein defined things in mathematical terms and whilst a mathematically defined vacuum is truly empty, a physical vacuum is not as it contains quantum particles popping in and out of existence.

Einstein based his theory on equations that work beautifully in accordance with the underlying mathematical assumptions and until the Opera people can physically conduct their experiments within that mathematical framework or break one his underlying assumptions, I'd say Einstein wins!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Take That, Brid-Aine Parnell

Einstein said that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light which he defined as c. As far as I can remember I don't think he ever said what the particular numerical value c takes. It varies with the medium in which it travels e.g water, atmosphere, vacuum, void space etc.

The people at Opera can bang on about their measurements like veritable pilgrims but the ultimate clash at demonhead won't occur until they measure the unimpeded speed of light in void space and until then the register should not let them get away scot free with their claims!

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UK Treasury flogs Northern Rock to flirty Virgin

AlgernonFlowers4

Shares May Go Up Or Down In Value!

Nobody forced anybody into buying Northern Rock shares.

Heads you win, tails we lose.

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AlgernonFlowers4

Yes they did!

From Bloomberg Business (http://www.businessweek.com/news/2011-11-17/u-k-treasury-takes-loss-on-northern-rock-sale-to-virgin.html)

'Billionaire Richard Branson’s Virgin Money Holdings U.K. Ltd. will acquire the company for 747 million pounds ($1.2 billion). Osborne’s predecessor, Alistair Darling, spent 1.4 billion pounds to recapitalize the Newcastle, England-based lender in 2008 and split it into two units. Government loans totaling 26.7 billion pounds are underpinning the bad bank, which is not part of today’s proposed sale.'

And we get to hold onto the 26.7 billion pounds of negative equity - wow!!!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Has El Reg Sold Us Out!

Really surprised that the reg reporter didn't disclose the fact that the Treasury paid £1.4 billion for Northern Rock, It was really good of the government to shower such largesse on the rich by selling it for for £747m. And as usual this generosity to the rich will have to be made good by the poor through taxation.

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Bloke gets wedding tackle trapped in ring

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Pleeeaase!!!

Playmobil erection or it didn't happen!

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Veggies tricked into dating meat-gobbling escorts

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Deadeye Dick!

Sing along now - "She don't eat meat but she sure like the bone"

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Ultra-cheap HP TouchPads to hit UK at 6pm

AlgernonFlowers4
FAIL

Damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Having bought one from the US and paid the exorbitant shipping charges because there was no reports on El Reg about UK price cuts, El Reg finally really did it. You maniacs! You posted this today! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!

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Acoustic trauma: How wind farms make you sick

AlgernonFlowers4
FAIL

Global Warming is a much bigger problem

than the noise from these giant fans that we have to run in order to keep cool!

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Lost 1967 spacecraft FOUND CRASHED ON MOON

AlgernonFlowers4
Devil

No Use in Crying Over Spilt Milk!

The important question is not how the Universe started but what to do as the final curtain is about to come down.

Do the evolved beings around at that time side with Hawkings and simply accept that they cannot meddle in the affairs of the physics god and the fate of future universes is left hanging on random events and pure chance.

Or do they rebel and seek to recreate the universe in the image of the existing one so it too is as optimized for life as the current one once was.

Please note the evolved beings referred to in this post are not supernatural beings but are based on existing life forms and extrapolations of technological development over the intervening millennia.

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AlgernonFlowers4
Devil

Intelligent Designers?

When it gets close to that point, hopefully there will be sufficiently intelligent designers around who will simply reboot the universe so that we can all get back to arguing whether the universe arose by chance or not.

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Chinese teen flogs kidney to buy iPad

AlgernonFlowers4
Childcatcher

Bargain at half the price

Should really have cost him an arm and a leg!

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Cobol cabal will take over THE WORLD Australia

AlgernonFlowers4
Welcome

Cobol Like No Other!

In the early 1980's the Cobol environment I used, had a Data Dictionary System which held all data definitions in common, including screen interfaces with company standard defined validation rules which were all checked for in Cobol by the Validate verb so you only had to do was add in the logic,

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Elon Musk's rocket booked by Google X-Prize moon robot

AlgernonFlowers4
Alien

Does it Matter?

Let's just get on building a Skylon/Vasimr hybrid so we send up a task force to sieze the valuable stuff from those Selenites and their mega-brain ruler!

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AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Send Vulture 1!

A lot of people would probably pay good money to see PARIS mooning!

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First fondleslab found in 1970s kids TV sci-fi gem

AlgernonFlowers4

All donations gratefully received

Once I have enough to buy an ipad and airfare, I for one would happily travel back in time using the LHC and plantt the ipad on the tomorrow people set. Send money now or history will start to unravel and you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?

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Ofcom okays Derren Brown psychic-baiting

AlgernonFlowers4

Talking to the dead is easy

Talking to the dead is easy, the hard part is hearing what they have to say.

That's not to say it's impossible just very difficult as sometimes the same thing happens with the living as well.

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Indian courts 'rule astrology is a science'

AlgernonFlowers4

Where is Lewis when your need him?

I thought Lewis Page sorted this out last Wednesday!

The only way of deciding if something is science or not, is to ask the ASA.

The only way of deciding if something is boffinry or not, is to ask Lewis Page.

As indian astrology consists of extremely hard sums and difficult calculations, what's Lewis's verdict?

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Watson beats humans in Jeopardy! dry run

AlgernonFlowers4
FAIL

WTF?

"What do you get if you multiply six by nine?"

42 base 13

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Apple iPhone 4 vs... the rest

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Objective Testing Please

What happened to the "which phone makes you most attractive to the opposite sex" test?

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PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail

AlgernonFlowers4

Experimental Lightweight Scale High Altitude Glider

El Shag!

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