* Posts by AlgernonFlowers4

106 posts • joined 30 Jul 2009

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It's Gartner Magic Graph of Wonder time! And Google won't be happy

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: Spelling errors.

"Or instead of moaning you could report the article in the provided link at the bottom and help them sort out the errors privately"

Why not offer a spelling/grammar bug bonus?

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Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

Biggus

Dick was overjoyed when his internet order for a penis enlarger finally came

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

Winnie thought her business plan for a webcam based laptop dancing streaming service was something not even Lord Sugar could pooh pooh!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

What the fuck just happened?

We dropped out of VR because some bastard El Reg hack swiped the hard disk as they had run out of the WD 6TB ones for the caption competition prize!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Cats in their pies

Duane Dibley'e virtual Great British Bake Off was proving to be a hit with young and old alike!

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AlgernonFlowers4

What do you mean I haven't really won the Register caption competition?

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AlgernonFlowers4

What did you pull the plug for? I was just about to collect my EuroMillions £100 million lottery win!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

Tits looking for a devine response - Jesus Christ, "It's divine!"

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AlgernonFlowers4

Hugh are you?

Yes you can have a blowjob Mr Grant or my name isn't Divine Brown!

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So, what's happening with LOHAN? Sweet FAA, that's what

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: Can´t you

Ask Paris Hilton to show you the stairway to heaven?

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

Titillating the hands of IT!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

Dammit I was trying to jump on board the Microsoft Linux bandwagon before those pesky pythons took over!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Google launch must have accessory for cars, a windscreen viper!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Snake Plissken reporting, about to break into suspect's network by going in-tru-der the windows!

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AlgernonFlowers4

New microsoft stylus speak with forked tongue

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AlgernonFlowers4

Talk about jumping out of the nokia frying pan and into the windows phone fire!

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AlgernonFlowers4

God I am so hungry I could eat a meerkat!

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

AlgernonFlowers4

I wonder what Apple meant when they said my log would be the same size, same shape, same smell but totally different?

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AlgernonFlowers4

IANAL - I Am Not A Log?

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AlgernonFlowers4

Go on Facebook, if you want my biometric data you're going to have to suck my log first!

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AlgernonFlowers4

This is the new Gorilla marketing web strategy by

Boris for comparethelog.com

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AlgernonFlowers4

Sergei! What have you done to baby Olog?

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A Dyson car? Don't rule it out. We're suckers for innovation, says CEO

AlgernonFlowers4

Sheer Brilliance

What's not to like, be great commuting to work on clean roads!

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Another chance to win a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive

AlgernonFlowers4

The Clash at Demonhead

I am Spider Pilgrim and I have come to battle with your evil ex's

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AlgernonFlowers4

IANAL

Hey I am not a hedgehog and I am happy to share the hedge, just as long you remember IANAL either!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Congratulations!

Congratulations, you are this weeks lucky six terror bites winner!

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AlgernonFlowers4

NotManFromMars!

Women are from Venus, Spiders are from Mars!

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AlgernonFlowers4

Web Captcha!

Thanks tor using the all new Ashley Madison Web Captcha program!

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Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive

AlgernonFlowers4

Ok Watson, why can't hedgehogs just share the hedge?

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AlgernonFlowers4

How am I meant to use my big dictaphone with this?

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AlgernonFlowers4

Ok Siri

Ok Siri, what is the secret of man's red fire?

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NASA primed for 9-minute live test of mighty rocket motor

AlgernonFlowers4
Terminator

I for one ...

Welcome our Space Lettuce System overlords!

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Boffinry breakthrough: Bullied bumble bot bolts brutal brat beatdowns

AlgernonFlowers4
Facepalm

3 Laws

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

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Radio 4 and Dr K on programming languages: Full of Java Kool-Aid

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: “Goto statement considred harmful”

Add an 'if' statement to a program and it increases complexity by a power of 2.

Why pick on the 'Goto' when it is the 'If' statement which causes the damage,

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India's heavy launch rocket passes flight test

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: I hope Cameron has remembered to send the 2015 ...

Aid to India and South Africa ends in 2015

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9666249/Britains-280-million-aid-to-India-will-be-scrapped.html

To quote:

Existing schemes that have already been agreed will continue until the last of them concludes in 2015, when all UK financial aid to the country will cease.

Officials said Miss Greening was told that the Indian government valued Britain’s “technical assistance” far more than money.

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IBM was wrong to force UK workers off final salary pensions – judge

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Re: Read between the lines

The primary duty of a director is to maximise their bonus at all costs.

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Gay hero super-boffin Turing 'may have been murdered by MI5'

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: @ TrishaD

Perhaps it's synonym of tnetennba

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ROCK FROM MARS FOUND in Africa, reveals Red Planet's SECRETS

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: Ok, excuse me for asking but HTF do they know it is from Mars?

Because it doesn't look like ones from Uranus!

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Cameron pledges public access to list of who REALLY owns firms

AlgernonFlowers4

Re: VAT is the answer?

As a programmer my interest is in building and designing systems not to fail. Ignoring the questions of morality, can we not come up with a tax system which cannot be evaded by off-shoring etc?

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AlgernonFlowers4

VAT is the answer?

Wouldn't it be simpler to replace all these taxes with something like a transaction tax instead?

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Siemens to throw CEO overboard after profits slashed a FIFTH time

AlgernonFlowers4

He should go before be stains the company name

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Surface RT: A plan worthy of the South Park Underpants Gnomes

AlgernonFlowers4
WTF?

Re: But... This is unfair to the gnomes!

Kemo sabay, the white man speak with forked tongue!

Just how much do you want to borrow asked the loan arranger?

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Graphical front ends for PowerShell? Here's a couple for you

AlgernonFlowers4

Wimps!

It's not that hard to add a gui frontend to powershell scripts

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Boeing batteries back under spotlight as 787 burns at Heathrow

AlgernonFlowers4

No Highway in the Sky

Did they take the temperature changes into account? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Highway_in_the_Sky)

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Star bosses name asteroid to honor author Iain Banks

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Special Projects Bureau

Special mission to Iainbanks to install a shrubbery?

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China’s state-run rags brand Mars One mission a scam

AlgernonFlowers4
Paris Hilton

Mars ain't the kind of place

Let's aim for Uranus instead!

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Ofcom looks at contract opt-outs as users rage over price hikes

AlgernonFlowers4
Meh

Mean What You Say

This way we can all have unlimited fixed price contracts which are capped with variable costs

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Boffins cook raw numbers, hope to bake PERFECT kilogram

AlgernonFlowers4
Pint

Re: Chasing its tail (and no, not the aformentioned cat...)

Keep it simple - just smash two particles of cod in a large haddock colander and count the number of Higgs Bosun's produced!

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