* Posts by Josco

113 posts • joined 22 Jul 2009

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England just not windy enough for wind farms, admits renewables boss

Josco

Create Gas then

Both wind and solar are intermittent, usually producing power when it is not needed. I recall hearing an interview on the radio where it was suggested that the power produced could be used to create gas, this gas could then be absorbed by the national gas grid which has sufficient elasticity to accommodate this irregular . When power is needed then a gas power station is fired up. Simples!

I also agree with those respondents who suggest river power. My local river (The Wharf) has never run dry in all the years I've been here.

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Computerised stock management? Nah, let’s use walkie-talkies

Josco

Do you have any tea?

I was in a very good bread shop recently, they had a huge range of home made bespoke bread along with the usual white & brown stuff. In comes a customer, "May I help?" asked the assistant. "Some bread please." replied the customer.....

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Investigatory Powers Bill: As supported by world's most controlling men

Josco

Re: To all at, and involved with the coalition...

I, too, have added a smidgen to the cause and am no doubt on a little list somewhere.

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When customers try to be programmers: 'I want this CHANGED TO A ZERO ASAP'

Josco

Any chance of a solution?

Not all of us here are programmers and I could stare at that code for an eternity and not know what I'm looking for.

I do a little HTML, CSS and PHP and some aeons ago a small amount of classic ASP, all of it laughably simple. I've always thought of coding as a little like Shakespeare; I can read Shakespeare, I can understand (some) Shakespeare but I certainly can't write it.

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Lincolnshire council shuts down all IT after alleged 0-day breach

Josco

Re: Dissapointed

Haven't got to the elasticated trousers yet, but I'm counting the days.

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New open-source ad-blocking web browser emerges from brain of ex-Mozilla boss Eich

Josco

Re: Sounds interesting

Dr Dobbs Patent Nerd Sex Attractant Pills, do they work? Do they also do them as suppositories?

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Cisco shocker: Some network switches may ELECTROCUTE you

Josco

Is this POE?

Is this anything to do with that new fangled Power Over Ethernet I've read about somewhere?

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You want to DISRUPT my TECH? How about I DISRUPT your FACE?

Josco
Coffee/keyboard

TNT!

Turtled Necked Twat, brilliant!

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Apple Watch is such a flop it's the world's top-selling wearable

Josco

Re: Who actually wears a watch anymore? And why?

I do. I like to know the time, quite easy with a swift flick of the wrist and a pretty face (analogue).

My mother always used to keep her watch an hour fast so as not to be late, didn't work.

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£100 MILLION poured down drain on failed UK.gov IT projects - in just ONE YEAR

Josco

myBOL - How appropriate

Another usual bollox from those in charge. I did agree with Little Mouse though, I thought the figure a little low, but then we are not privy to all the information either.

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Apple’s $700 BEEELLION market cap makes it more valuable than Switzerland

Josco

Half a BEEEELION

If I had that much I wouldn't squander it on 538,876,058 basic models. I'd have the better specced version, just one though, mustn't be greedy.

And a new Ferrari.

And a big house in London.

And Roman Abramovich's yacht.

And a night out with Claudia Schiffer

And another night

And another night

....

...

..

And 10 lottery tickets.

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Pics in SPAAAACE!: Hasselblad sells for $275,000

Josco

When not if

When I win the lottery a Hasselblad is near the top of the list, but not as much as this one.

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Holy cow! Fasthosts outage blamed on DDoS hack attack AND Windows 2003 vuln

Josco

It's my fault, sorry

I moved a customer to LCN a few weeks back and they crashed and lost all Email connections and some websites.

I moved a domain to FastHosts this weekend (for their Catch-All mail facility) and they have broken too.

Sorry, I promise to leave well alone.

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It's not always about you: Why the Apple Watch is all about China

Josco

I found it interesting

Regardless of some of the negative comments here, I found it an interesting story and it has furthered my minuscule understanding of Chinese people.

Thanks

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Revealed: Malware that forces weak ATMs to spit out 'ALL THE CASH'

Josco

In Broad Daylight

A little while back I had a temporary job changing the signage on a well known UK banks ATMs. I would arrive in broad daylight with a bag of tools, wait my turn if it was busy, and then 'attack' the machine stripping it of external parts to access the signs and logos. No-one ever batted an eyelid nor made any remarks. Police would stroll by and not even glance at what I was doing....

Only once did an elderly lady who was waiting to use the machine comment that she would go halves on whatever I got out!

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Surprise: if you work from home you need the Internet

Josco

Re: Work from home is better for me

6mb! Bugger me! I live halfway between Leeds & Harrogate, just off the main road. Less than 1mb is considered satisfactory by BT, but there is feeble mobile signal from all providers and we have been bypassed by the rural broadband initiative.

We don't have gas either even though the gas main from the North Sea passes within 1/4 mile.

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Apple 5S still best-selling smartphone 8 months after launch

Josco

All of little interest to me

I've had several android and IOS phones over the years and none work properly for me. I used to think that the mobile signals were just poor, but everyone else seemed to have signal where I had none. I have swapped phones with my wife and children and where they routinely have 4 or more 'sausages' I have none. My wife says I must have too many fillings in my teeth!

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Whaddaya mean, NO REFUND? But I paid in Bitcoins! Oh I see...

Josco

Always entertaining

I'm pleased that I am not the only one out of step with the rest of humanity.

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Ten classic electronic calculators from the 1970s and 1980s

Josco

My first calculator

I had left school and was working for Berni Inns as a trainee manager on the princely sum of £4 per week. My mother came home one day with the first electronic calculator I had ever seen. It was a Sharp and it could add, subtract, divide and multiply with an eight character screen! It also had a button on the side to increment the display count by one so it could be used as a rudimentary counter. At £15 it was nearly a months wage!

Sadly it has been lost.

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Why UK.gov's £1.2bn fibre broadband rollout is a bumbling FLOP

Josco

Re: FTC all around us, but not from our cabinet

5MB!!! Wow. We live between Harrogate & Leeds and there is super fast nearly all around, even the local Leeds - Harrogate bus has 10MB WiFi but BT all but admitted to the village meeting that they were going to take the penalties (whatever they are) rather than upgrade us to 2 MB. We have very poor mobile too.

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FAT PIPE for ALL: Britain’s new tech firms take it from the telcos

Josco

I'm not mono-browed....

Nor am I a hermit, I'm not too keen on chickens as mates and I don't use Ocado, but if the cap fits.... We live in a large village 5 miles from Harrogate and 7 miles from Leeds and when BT was questioned as to their progress in bringing a minimum of 2MB to us they replied that it was cheaper to take the Government penalties.

Great article as usual Alistair.

"Suspiciously, when you raise the question of inadequate internet access with politicians, they fart about supporting mono-browed, chicken-shagging hermits living in the sticks who apparently need gigabit broadband so they can order groceries from Ocado and browse FeatheredButtocks.com." Excellent.

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Hello Warsaw: Greenland ice loss will be OK 'even under extreme scenarios'

Josco

Re: IPCC blaming heretics again?

Polar Bears wrestling Alligators? I'd pay to see that!

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Bang away – just not 'with friends', Zynga tells naughty hookups app

Josco

After "The Next Bang"

I suggest for post coital refreshment: www.betterbangers.com

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GTA V Online hits speed bumps: Short wait before you can rough up that hooker

Josco

One question....

Who's Trevor?

Watched my youngest son steal a Ferrari and immediately rip one of the doors off. I think the graphics are amazing but I can't play it. I just cannot get the co-ordination on the game controllers, not just GTA but almost any game.

Bring back the Intellivision, their controllers were excellent.

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Love in an elevator.... testing mast: The National Lift Tower

Josco

Re: Cenobite...

The Emley Moor tower is (or was) thwe tallest structure in Northern Europe. The lift takes 12 minutes!

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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

Josco

Agree

Who is this Sallyber Cow person anyway? Why has she so many twitter followers? Could she be riding on the coat tails of her equally unspeakable husband?

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EU wants the Swiss and pals to cough up IT giants' hidden bank info

Josco
FAIL

Re: it's not only companies

Why is someone a wanker for trying to reduce their tax? I don't earn enough to set up any schemes like this, but if I did..... I try to limit the amount of tax I pay with allowances etc, but your argument seems to indicate that we should all give more. They already piss most of it away. One third of the population derive all of their income from the government and I am fed up with it. The ultimate conclusion of yours seems to be for the HMRC to take ALL our income and give us back a little pocket money.

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Are biofuels Europe's sh*ttiest idea ever?

Josco
Flame

Who voted these buffoons in?

It 'wasn't me.

Europe (including the UK) must have the worst politicians ever. Not one of them exists in the real world.

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Living in the middle of a big city? Your broadband may still be crap

Josco

Four Yorkshiremen

Right... You think you have it tough! I live in a bloody expensive village between Leeds and Harrogate, our broadband is poor (2mb), Mobile signals are abysmal (Vodafone non existent since the mast was broken into over a month ago), we've no gas even though a massive mains runs just over 200 metres away and the electricity supply can be flaky in very wet weather.

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Rise Of The Machines: What will become of box-watchers, delivery drivers?

Josco

Re: But How

SMS message just before delivery.... Be there or miss it. Then go in your driverless car to pick it up from the depot.

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SOD Big Data! Most of what you're keeping is digital landfill

Josco

Good sense there....

I worked for a document storage company where we had over 3 million document boxes in store for many customers large and small. I reckoned 95% of those documents would never see the light of day again except to be recycled. Ignorance of data retention rules, an unwillingness to be the person who authorised the destruction of 'sensitive' data and a universal instinct to hoard contributed to our bottom line.

I'm no better, you should see my garage......

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Microsoft to end Windows 8 discounts on January 31

Josco
Thumb Down

Wow

Charging like a wounded elephant.... or should that be lemming.

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Indonesian ID card will deduct fines from bank accounts

Josco
Thumb Down

What about HMG?

Has anyone told Her Majesty's Government about this? I imagine Revenue & Customs would like it.

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High school student expelled for dropping F-bomb in tweet

Josco
Unhappy

Re: To far

I agree, there is probably more to the story. I was expelled from school for smoking (almost 40 years ago) but in fact it was the final straw in a long line of transgressions.

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why is there an Apple forum?

Josco

Re: why is there an Apple forum?

I've got one on my desk, I'll eat it after lunch

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The Register obtains covert snaps of Google's new London offices

Josco
Thumb Up

WOW!

My office is a basement with some dingy windows overlooking a rat infested open drain in Leeds.

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New iPad: The only review roundup you'll ever need

Josco

It's just an Ipad true

But I bet you wish you'd bought Apple shares a couple of years ago....

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Nanocapacitor slab to boost car batteries

Josco
Thumb Up

Re: Stop-Start

A fellow who owned a vintage Roller said (and demonstrated to me some years ago) that it was possible to stop the engine at TDC, and by simply switching the ignition back on would create a spark that would fire the engine.... Granted there was only a few minutes 'down time', but impressive none the less.

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The true, tragic cost of British wind power

Josco

Re: Gas - the energy of the future?

So... It's nuclear then.

Good show.

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Tory minister: Let's exploit our rich resource of mud, er, wind

Josco

Mud? What about poo?

Cow poo could be used to heat houses too, it burns quite well when dried out. There's an abundance near my house.

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Molesworth and the New Latin

Josco
Happy

Not too bad

Couple of spelling errors, but on the whole quite good.

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Facebook IPO: Boom or bubble?

Josco

I don't understand.

As the sage of Omaha remarked some time ago: "I don't invest in anything I don't understand"

I don't understand 'in-app purchases made in virtual currencies' contributing real money.

My real money will stay put.

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IPTV UK: what's on tonight?

Josco
Meh

It just gets worse

Our village has poor broadband, 1/2 MB is pretty good going, and there are no plans to improve it even though we are less than 4 miles from a major town. There must be many places where they'll get left behind. The current thinking is that 90% of the population will get a decent speed, but that still means 6,000,000 without.

We don't have gas either, but are only 1/4 mile from the main supply to Leeds and beyond.

Still, we have two pubs!

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American search team fails to find women's G-spot

Josco
IT Angle

Interesting

But where's the IT angle? I can't find it for the life of me.

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Nuclear Mars tank thrusts hard into perfect position

Josco
Happy

Great title..

That is all...

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Bit-part actress slings sueball at IMDb over age gripe

Josco

Wait your turn

Back of the queue young man.

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Mobile phone mast-in-a-chip biz sells out for $50m

Josco

This may help

These chaps sell a booster product:

http://www.mobilerepeatershop.com/

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Apple's TV killer 'on shelves by summer 2012'

Josco
Thumb Down

Repeats

Almost every programme on TV except for the news is a repeat (and some of the news is too). Will this super duper new Apple thingy change that?

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Deep-fried planets discovery offers hope for Earth’s future

Josco
Thumb Up

We will survive?

I am pleased that you think the earth may survive. I plan to live forever, and so far so good.

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BT, Scotland Yard form copper theft crackdown supersquad

Josco
Coat

I can see why you are anonymous, but I think you must be Jeremy Clarkson!

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