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* Posts by Josco

100 posts • joined 22 Jul 2009

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It's not always about you: Why the Apple Watch is all about China

Josco

I found it interesting

Regardless of some of the negative comments here, I found it an interesting story and it has furthered my minuscule understanding of Chinese people.

Thanks

18
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Revealed: Malware that forces weak ATMs to spit out 'ALL THE CASH'

Josco

In Broad Daylight

A little while back I had a temporary job changing the signage on a well known UK banks ATMs. I would arrive in broad daylight with a bag of tools, wait my turn if it was busy, and then 'attack' the machine stripping it of external parts to access the signs and logos. No-one ever batted an eyelid nor made any remarks. Police would stroll by and not even glance at what I was doing....

Only once did an elderly lady who was waiting to use the machine comment that she would go halves on whatever I got out!

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Surprise: if you work from home you need the Internet

Josco

Re: Work from home is better for me

6mb! Bugger me! I live halfway between Leeds & Harrogate, just off the main road. Less than 1mb is considered satisfactory by BT, but there is feeble mobile signal from all providers and we have been bypassed by the rural broadband initiative.

We don't have gas either even though the gas main from the North Sea passes within 1/4 mile.

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Apple 5S still best-selling smartphone 8 months after launch

Josco

All of little interest to me

I've had several android and IOS phones over the years and none work properly for me. I used to think that the mobile signals were just poor, but everyone else seemed to have signal where I had none. I have swapped phones with my wife and children and where they routinely have 4 or more 'sausages' I have none. My wife says I must have too many fillings in my teeth!

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Whaddaya mean, NO REFUND? But I paid in Bitcoins! Oh I see...

Josco

Always entertaining

I'm pleased that I am not the only one out of step with the rest of humanity.

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Ten classic electronic calculators from the 1970s and 1980s

Josco

My first calculator

I had left school and was working for Berni Inns as a trainee manager on the princely sum of £4 per week. My mother came home one day with the first electronic calculator I had ever seen. It was a Sharp and it could add, subtract, divide and multiply with an eight character screen! It also had a button on the side to increment the display count by one so it could be used as a rudimentary counter. At £15 it was nearly a months wage!

Sadly it has been lost.

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Why UK.gov's £1.2bn fibre broadband rollout is a bumbling FLOP

Josco

Re: FTC all around us, but not from our cabinet

5MB!!! Wow. We live between Harrogate & Leeds and there is super fast nearly all around, even the local Leeds - Harrogate bus has 10MB WiFi but BT all but admitted to the village meeting that they were going to take the penalties (whatever they are) rather than upgrade us to 2 MB. We have very poor mobile too.

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FAT PIPE for ALL: Britain’s new tech firms take it from the telcos

Josco

I'm not mono-browed....

Nor am I a hermit, I'm not too keen on chickens as mates and I don't use Ocado, but if the cap fits.... We live in a large village 5 miles from Harrogate and 7 miles from Leeds and when BT was questioned as to their progress in bringing a minimum of 2MB to us they replied that it was cheaper to take the Government penalties.

Great article as usual Alistair.

"Suspiciously, when you raise the question of inadequate internet access with politicians, they fart about supporting mono-browed, chicken-shagging hermits living in the sticks who apparently need gigabit broadband so they can order groceries from Ocado and browse FeatheredButtocks.com." Excellent.

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Hello Warsaw: Greenland ice loss will be OK 'even under extreme scenarios'

Josco

Re: IPCC blaming heretics again?

Polar Bears wrestling Alligators? I'd pay to see that!

4
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Bang away – just not 'with friends', Zynga tells naughty hookups app

Josco

After "The Next Bang"

I suggest for post coital refreshment: www.betterbangers.com

1
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GTA V Online hits speed bumps: Short wait before you can rough up that hooker

Josco

One question....

Who's Trevor?

Watched my youngest son steal a Ferrari and immediately rip one of the doors off. I think the graphics are amazing but I can't play it. I just cannot get the co-ordination on the game controllers, not just GTA but almost any game.

Bring back the Intellivision, their controllers were excellent.

0
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Love in an elevator.... testing mast: The National Lift Tower

Josco

Re: Cenobite...

The Emley Moor tower is (or was) thwe tallest structure in Northern Europe. The lift takes 12 minutes!

1
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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

Josco

Agree

Who is this Sallyber Cow person anyway? Why has she so many twitter followers? Could she be riding on the coat tails of her equally unspeakable husband?

2
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EU wants the Swiss and pals to cough up IT giants' hidden bank info

Josco
FAIL

Re: it's not only companies

Why is someone a wanker for trying to reduce their tax? I don't earn enough to set up any schemes like this, but if I did..... I try to limit the amount of tax I pay with allowances etc, but your argument seems to indicate that we should all give more. They already piss most of it away. One third of the population derive all of their income from the government and I am fed up with it. The ultimate conclusion of yours seems to be for the HMRC to take ALL our income and give us back a little pocket money.

9
3

Are biofuels Europe's sh*ttiest idea ever?

Josco
Flame

Who voted these buffoons in?

It 'wasn't me.

Europe (including the UK) must have the worst politicians ever. Not one of them exists in the real world.

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Living in the middle of a big city? Your broadband may still be crap

Josco

Four Yorkshiremen

Right... You think you have it tough! I live in a bloody expensive village between Leeds and Harrogate, our broadband is poor (2mb), Mobile signals are abysmal (Vodafone non existent since the mast was broken into over a month ago), we've no gas even though a massive mains runs just over 200 metres away and the electricity supply can be flaky in very wet weather.

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Rise Of The Machines: What will become of box-watchers, delivery drivers?

Josco

Re: But How

SMS message just before delivery.... Be there or miss it. Then go in your driverless car to pick it up from the depot.

1
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SOD Big Data! Most of what you're keeping is digital landfill

Josco

Good sense there....

I worked for a document storage company where we had over 3 million document boxes in store for many customers large and small. I reckoned 95% of those documents would never see the light of day again except to be recycled. Ignorance of data retention rules, an unwillingness to be the person who authorised the destruction of 'sensitive' data and a universal instinct to hoard contributed to our bottom line.

I'm no better, you should see my garage......

1
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Microsoft to end Windows 8 discounts on January 31

Josco
Thumb Down

Wow

Charging like a wounded elephant.... or should that be lemming.

5
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Indonesian ID card will deduct fines from bank accounts

Josco
Thumb Down

What about HMG?

Has anyone told Her Majesty's Government about this? I imagine Revenue & Customs would like it.

1
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High school student expelled for dropping F-bomb in tweet

Josco
Unhappy

Re: To far

I agree, there is probably more to the story. I was expelled from school for smoking (almost 40 years ago) but in fact it was the final straw in a long line of transgressions.

1
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why is there an Apple forum?

Josco

Re: why is there an Apple forum?

I've got one on my desk, I'll eat it after lunch

1
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The Register obtains covert snaps of Google's new London offices

Josco
Thumb Up

WOW!

My office is a basement with some dingy windows overlooking a rat infested open drain in Leeds.

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New iPad: The only review roundup you'll ever need

Josco

It's just an Ipad true

But I bet you wish you'd bought Apple shares a couple of years ago....

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Nanocapacitor slab to boost car batteries

Josco
Thumb Up

Re: Stop-Start

A fellow who owned a vintage Roller said (and demonstrated to me some years ago) that it was possible to stop the engine at TDC, and by simply switching the ignition back on would create a spark that would fire the engine.... Granted there was only a few minutes 'down time', but impressive none the less.

1
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The true, tragic cost of British wind power

Josco

Re: Gas - the energy of the future?

So... It's nuclear then.

Good show.

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Tory minister: Let's exploit our rich resource of mud, er, wind

Josco

Mud? What about poo?

Cow poo could be used to heat houses too, it burns quite well when dried out. There's an abundance near my house.

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Molesworth and the New Latin

Josco
Happy

Not too bad

Couple of spelling errors, but on the whole quite good.

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Facebook IPO: Boom or bubble?

Josco

I don't understand.

As the sage of Omaha remarked some time ago: "I don't invest in anything I don't understand"

I don't understand 'in-app purchases made in virtual currencies' contributing real money.

My real money will stay put.

0
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IPTV UK: what's on tonight?

Josco
Meh

It just gets worse

Our village has poor broadband, 1/2 MB is pretty good going, and there are no plans to improve it even though we are less than 4 miles from a major town. There must be many places where they'll get left behind. The current thinking is that 90% of the population will get a decent speed, but that still means 6,000,000 without.

We don't have gas either, but are only 1/4 mile from the main supply to Leeds and beyond.

Still, we have two pubs!

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American search team fails to find women's G-spot

Josco
IT Angle

Interesting

But where's the IT angle? I can't find it for the life of me.

1
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Nuclear Mars tank thrusts hard into perfect position

Josco
Happy

Great title..

That is all...

3
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Bit-part actress slings sueball at IMDb over age gripe

Josco

Wait your turn

Back of the queue young man.

1
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Mobile phone mast-in-a-chip biz sells out for $50m

Josco

This may help

These chaps sell a booster product:

http://www.mobilerepeatershop.com/

0
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Apple's TV killer 'on shelves by summer 2012'

Josco
Thumb Down

Repeats

Almost every programme on TV except for the news is a repeat (and some of the news is too). Will this super duper new Apple thingy change that?

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Deep-fried planets discovery offers hope for Earth’s future

Josco
Thumb Up

We will survive?

I am pleased that you think the earth may survive. I plan to live forever, and so far so good.

5
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BT, Scotland Yard form copper theft crackdown supersquad

Josco
Coat

I can see why you are anonymous, but I think you must be Jeremy Clarkson!

3
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Navy pays 2x purchase price to keep warship docked for 5 years

Josco
Holmes

'Twas ever thus:

"But I see it is impossible for the King to have things done as cheap as other men"

1
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Printed-out dissolving bones, teeth work well in rats

Josco

Longer legs

As my legs are a little on the short side, could I have this procedure to lengthen them?

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Anonymous launches OpRobinHood against banks

Josco
Flame

Bugger

When my credit card was compromised I did indeed suffer no immediate financial penalty, Lloyds took the hit, but what I will never get back is the hours and hours on the phone trying to explain over and over why these transactions were not mine. Letters, phone calls & time off work to sort it out.

Thanks Anonymous!

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Jarmageddon: Marmite spill sparks biohazard threat

Josco
Coat

Marmite....You either love it or hate it!

Mine's the one with the jar in the pocket.

1
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Poll: One in six interrupt bonking to answer mobile

Josco
Unhappy

Ha

Chance would be a fine thing!

7
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A pint a day keeps the doctor away - scientific FACT

Josco
Pint

So who's round is it?

Theakstons for me please

1
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Gadget Shop kingpin cuffed in nightclub 'toilet sex' incident

Josco

Beefy?

Where did it say beefy? he may have been exceptionally skinny.

2
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TomTom Go Live TopGear Edition

Josco
Trollface

Sorry to be a bore

I think Clarkson is wonderful... Definitely my candidate for PM.

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Social net sites do wonders for crooks, spooks and bosses

Josco

I agree

Although I have a Facebook account I rarely use it, never put any photos on it and never update my current status - why would anyone care?

The premise that everything on the web is there for all eternity has not caught peoples attention as yet. The best analogy I heard was that trying to remove information from the web was like trying to take piss out of a swimming pool.

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Which actor should play Steve in upcoming biopic?

Josco

Oh yes

There's a film I would go to see.

Would there be a homage to the 'butter scene' in Last Tango In Paris?

0
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Microsoft! touted! to! buy! Yahoo!

Josco

What about the Email?

I have a Yahoo email account and I consider it to be far better than my Gmail account. I do hope nothing happens to it when (if) MicroSoft take over.

1
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1-in-3,200 chance* that a fiery satellite chunk will hit someone on Friday

Josco

It's true

you are more likely to get hit by a satellite than win the lottery

1
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Beyonce's belly: Most important thing ever, on Twitter

Josco
Stop

The public are shallow and celebrity-hungry

That is all

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