Re: Horror Stories with these machines!!
When I bought my house, I assembled my funds in an "Instant Access" savings account at HSBC. At some point, I needed to transfer £25k to my solicitor:
Log on online, go through security, add solicitor's client account as payee, but I can't pay them more than £500.
Website says to try phone banking.
Ring up phone banking, go through security twice (automated, and then in person), re-supply solicitors account details, finally "Steve" tells me I can't do it over the phone, I have to go in to branch.
Walk to nearest branch, queue up for counter.
Get to front of queue - "This is business customers. You want the counter around the corner that isn't signed at all"
Queue up again. Get to the front of the queue - "You can't do withdrawals here, you need to make an appointment to talk to an advisor"
Go to the front of bank, there is a man with a clipboard. He can give me an appointment in 1 hours time to do a withdrawal, it will cost me £40.
At this point I enter meltdown and had a fit of pique and threatened to close my "instant access" savings account on the spot, walk across the road with £25k in cash and deposit it with my solicitors bank directly. This got action, they do not like having to physically give you your money..
I would move my current account, but they are all similarly cretinous these days.