* Posts by Hans 1

1150 posts • joined 11 Aug 2009

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Microsoft: Profit DECIMATED because you people aren't buying PCs

Hans 1
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Pint

I had a nervous woman on the phone yesterday, her laptop died. She has €300 for a new machine but refuses to get a box with Windows 8. She's seen it, does not like it ... and begged me to provide her with a solution ... I said: Get a second-hand MacBook.

Last week, I saw my very first Windows Phone (or whatever they call it now) in the wild, believe or not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCaabE7co5s

This was written on the wall, guyz and I told you ... their marketshare will dwindle now, just like ie did a few years back.

It's Friday, a pint please!

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Microsoft to offer special Surface 3 for schools

Hans 1
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Facepalm

>Even with reduced on-board storage, 'the cloud ate my homework' isn't going to cut it

No, certainly not, but 'That MS fucker forgot to renew the security certificate again, I could not access my homework anymore' will definitely work, how many times has it happened 2 or 3 years in a row ?

Cloud is evil, cloud is evil ... google and MS clouds are even worse.

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Game to go a round with a Spartan? Microsoft will pay if you bruise it

Hans 1
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>The Azure bounty offer will cover virtual machines, cloud services, storage, Active Directory “and much more” Shirt wrote.

The guy in charge of certificate renewal is the largest threat to QoS, there, how much do I get for that, MS ?

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Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

Hans 1
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Boffin

Re: Come on guys

>Can any of you claim that there has never been an occasion when you wouldn't have cheerfully taken your computer outside and put it out of your misery?

No, I install Linux.

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Hans 1
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Thumb Up

Re: Musket

Muskets ? makes me think of good ole Jim! That cunt says it all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL8JEEt2RxI

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Hans 1
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>There's such a thing as a rational faith in homeopathy?

Yes, there is.

Even if you believe that homeopathy is just BS, people who do not enjoy "at the very least" the placebo effect. Given the price difference with the real stuff, everybody wins.

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This data-powered, insight-rich future, how do I get there exactly?

Hans 1
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Happy

Sleep on

Sorry ... I was just looking for a MS-related article because I spotted a recent Nokia smartphone in the wild, with Windows Phone. Honest! Must be one of the 4 sold ... do I qualify for Guinness book of records? Will I get a free pint ? Who knows ... party time !!!

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Google pulls plug on YouTube for older iPads, iPhones, smart TVs

Hans 1
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Re: This is great....

You should ask:

What is cheaper, the latest <tv> or the latest raspberry pi ?

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Hans 1
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Paris Hilton

Re: I have had exactly this.

@ Flatpackhamster

>On my 3-year old Panasonic plasma TV, and my 2 year old Panasonic Blu-Ray/smart box.

>'Older' systems my arse.

I am often called a freetard on here since I would never have bought that proprietary BS ... now, who of us two is the retard ?

Remember, I'll write it yet again, it is the same with Windows/OS X/<insert_proprietary_bs>, proprietary ware sucks, blobs suck - now you know why.

Paris coz she sucks quite a lot as well ...

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Hans 1
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Re: hrm..

In a freetard world, some hack would have fixed it already ... sadly ... buy proprietary, get all you deserve.

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Hans 1
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Re: Google is pushing Apple sales

>what is scary is that Stallman is basically always right, he's just sometimes proven right 10 years later, not right away

BS, however, I upvoted. To those with a pair of functional brains, he is right since day 1. I know, it is no use arguing on a site that calls us the "retards" ...

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Hans 1
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Re: Google is pushing Apple sales

>Were it not locked, I could perhaps purchase or write my own player app for my device, but I can't.

1. Yes you can, go get xcode and learn how to google ...too lazy ? Goto 2.

2. Go on and moan, did I buy a proprietary product or did you ? Now you understand all the fuss you hear from the Free Software "retards", as they are often called around here ...

The same goes for the Windows users ... your printer/scanner/whatever device no longer supported and you take the piss out of the "freetards" ?

I'm loving it!

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Hans 1
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Re: Google reminds of Microsoft of old

@AC

>but I'd say they're actually worse. MS has never tried to spy on the population other than for license purposes

You owe me a new keyboard ... ever seen the "Send this error to Microsoft"? That feature helps the NSA figure out which 0 days they can send their target ... since they know which patches are installed, they can quickly find a suitable exploit.

MS are evil, Apple and Google are evil ... but MS beat Apple and Google combined.

I often read on here that Apple sues for "rounded corners" ... MS sues for "remote device"-like patents - just look at what patents they wave for android devices ... rediculous ... each and every one of those has prior art dating back to the 70's.

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Hans 1
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Angel

Re: P*ss poor

@ Annihilator

>Basically, they're not going to support older kit forever.

What, forever is now defined as being what? 3 years? Annihilator? Annihilated!

As for Google ↓

....................../´¯/)

....................,/¯../

.................../..../

............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸

........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\

........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')

.........\.................'...../

..........''...\.......... _.·´

............\..............(

..............\.............\...

PS: I told you lot, Smart TV's suck - get a dumb display and a cheap (replaceable) set top box.

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Hans 1
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Re: "Written in C"

@ Kristian Walsh

>"support ends when the boxes leave the factory".

EPIC

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Sysadmins, patch now: HTTP 'pings of death' are spewing across web to kill Windows servers

Hans 1
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@1980s_coder

>my comment was a joke, clearly indicated by the joke alerticon.

Definitely, I think Destroy_ALL_Monsters forgot his, though, too ...

>HERE IS YOU CRAYOLA NOW STEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD.

Had me laughing out loud, epic!

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Hans 1
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>MS found a problem and fixed it and hackers reverse engineered that fix and are now targetting those who haven't patched.

Well, you call that fixed ??? RIP OUT HTTP.SYS and create a user-space binary - a crashing thread serving HTTP should not take down the whole server, is the point generally made on here.

Of course, putting that into user-space will not be beneficial, performance-wise, but then again, it is way more secure.

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Default admin password, weak Wi-Fi, open USB ports ... no wonder these electronic voting boxes are now BANNED

Hans 1
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Black Helicopters

Re: The position of the constitutional court of Germany is worthy of note

Check for fraud ? ROFL!

Ok, a mayor in my area got caught for fraud, but she still won the election as she had <150 more votes than the other (after over 300 fraudulent votes had been subtracted). Note that in France you have just a couple of days to go through all registered votes - the opposition found numerous votes that had been made which sported the same signature, however, that was not enough.

http://www.lexpress.fr/actualite/politique/elections/municipales-a-aix-en-provence-la-methode-joissains_1294303.html (excuse my French)

You can cheat in France and get away with it.

[Sound of choppers]Shit, needa go. where's the anonymous checkbox ? too late ...

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Someone PLEASE stop patent trolls' stroking their favorite tool, cries Google and friends

Hans 1
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Re: ratfox

????? Ever heard of SCO ????? MS' poor attempt to kill Linux ?

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Microsoft points at Skype, Lync: You two, in my office – right now

Hans 1
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Windows

We use jabber, cool thing. As for conferencing, we use some crap proprietary BS. yes, I know hello.firefox.com, yes it does work, and yes it comes free, and no it does not require firefox clients, and, no I do not know why we spend thousands on crapware - no lync/Skype/Communicator over here, mind ... Au weier, as the Germans say.

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iOS, OS X apps sent into infinite dizzy DoS by this one weird kernel bug

Hans 1
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Re: Documentation has always been iffy for unix system APIs

You always needed books for serious coding, on any system I know of.

VMS doc was pretty impressive, you still required books for serious coding.

Windows docs (<command> /?) are, well, even less handy than the man pages ...

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Win Server 2003 addict? Tick, tock: Your options are running out

Hans 1
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Actually, I should have made two posts because I meant to convey two different ideas.

1. You want to have a NAS, use Linux???? <--- this is bad, hence to reference to "IT?" If you are gonna go the freetard route, go BSD for NAS, NOT Linux ... Linux is way better than Windows for NAS, BSD/Solaris, however, is in another league altogether

2. You consider moving IT data services to the cloud <-- bad, bad, bad idea, for obvious reasons.

Then, for some reason, auto-text kicked in with the "migrate to free software while you are at it" mantra ...

You will have to migrate away from those proprietary no longer maintained 32-bit software solutions sooner or later, why not now ? AND do not make the same mistake twice, go freetard - if it is good, there will always be at least one fork, should the freetard vendor go titsup.

Ooops, I did it again ... ;-)

I think I want more down-votes, yes, that's it ...

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Hans 1
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Re: Linux NAS ?

Typo, I meant puppet ... :-\

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Hans 1
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IT Angle

Linux NAS ?

Ok, so basically, you are saying move to Server 2008, to cloud, or both and keep a local NAS server running Linux. The BSD's/Solaris are MUCH better candidates for NAS services than Linux, ouch!!!

Cloud should be a NOGO, needles to say why ... if you read the register, you already know.

How about moving the server infrastructure to BSD completely and keep IT safely inhouse ? Samba/Muppet have come a loooong way, so much so that Muppet outperforms AD/GPO, even for windows clients. Throw Open/LibreOffice onto all clients, alongside MS office, IMAP email (to keep Outlook addicts happy) -> soft migration to free software.

In 2020, deploy Linux or Free/Open/DragonFlyBSD on select clients and phase-out Windows.

Does the author know IT ? cf icon

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Don't be stiffed by spies, stand up to Uncle Sam with your proud d**k pics – says Snowden

Hans 1
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Honey Trap

Get a teen so send himself a picky of his privates, then go after GHCQ/NSA for pedophilia.

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Hans 1
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Unhappy

Re: Very sad....

Der legendäre Kleine Mann

Der immer litt und nie gewann

Der sich gewöhnt an jeden Dreck

Kriegt er nur seinen Schweinespeck

Und träumt im Bett vom Attentat

- die hab ich satt!

Wolf Biermann, for those who understand German

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HP Stream x360: Flippable and stylish Chromebook killer

Hans 1
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Mushroom

Chromebook Killer ???

The whole point of a chromebook is to avoid Windows and all its mal/ad/phishWare ...

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Hans 1
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WTF?

>The HP x360 scores more aesthetic points for not trying to look like a knock-down MacBook and not being plastered with stickers.

1. Designed for Windows sticker [check]

2. MacBook style keyboard [check]

3. MacBook style trackpad (without fancy gestures, mind) [check]

Editor, please remove above sentence.

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Sony nabs cloud gamers OnLive, administers swift headshot

Hans 1
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Mushroom

Re: Legislation

> (i.e. you cannot get into single player without connecting)

BS, even if you can get into single player mode ... if the game has an online gaming feature, then all software required to maintain that feature should enter the public domain the second the company retires it. I am looking at you, EA, Battlefield 2, anyone ?

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Nuclear waste spill: How a pro-organic push sparked $240m blunder

Hans 1
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Boffin

Re: Fast Integral Reactor.

>You still need a repository as the recycling isn't 100% efficient and there is always low level radioactive stuff that it isn't practical or economic to make safe.

You still need a repository as the recycling leaves 99% of waste, most of which is low level radioactive stuff that it isn't practical or economic to make safe.

There, fixed it.

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Got an Android mobe with a virus? Congrats, you're The One Per Cent

Hans 1
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FAIL

Ouch

Over 50% of the apps available on Android are phishware - anything on Android that wants to access your SMS, email, or Contacts is phishware, in my books. And you cannot even turn that off!

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Microsoft update mayhem delays German basketball game, costs team dear

Hans 1
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Re: HA

>I DONT HAVE THIS PROBLEM ON MY APPLE MAC BOOK

Oh, so you have an outdated OS X that does not go into "install update" mode when you install updates and then reboots ? Thought not ... ;-)

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Hans 1
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Headmaster

Re: Clearly it's a case of...

>All possible because the new files were already in-place earlier as *NIX style file systems allow an atomic in-place replacement of files, but still allows an open file handle to continue using the previous on-disk data until the last handle is closed (i.e. on shut-down for the kernel or similar).

BS, NTFS allows atomic in-place replacement of files. It is the crappy file locking in the Win32API that does not allow you to replace open files. OS X, which allows you to replace open files, now also goes into some "update" mode to install updates, WTF ???? ... I used to be able to install updates and continue my work on OS X and, "best of all", reboot whenever I wanted ... a week or two was usual. No "two postpones, then I simply reboot" on enterprise-class OS'.

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Hans 1
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Windows

>Unfortunately, as the Windows 7 install is a corporate build, I can't re-install the Windows bootloader, not that I particularly want to, so the only option would be to re-apply the corporate image.

I do not understand this ... care to elaborate ? Admittedly, I am the tramp ... for once.

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GitHub jammed by injected JavaScript, servers whacked by DDoS

Hans 1
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Facepalm

Re: Can GitHub take China to court in the WTO?

>To this day I am unsure if the cheap - "Chinese only" versions of WinXP, Vista and Win7, are a genuine Microsoft product or a Chinese government project to help control of their own population (I bought SWMBO WinXP and Win7 disks for £1 each in 2010)

If you trust that software then you get all you deserve ... £1 each smells fishy, so it might not even be a "pure" official Chinese version - the official Chinese version most certainly has a rootkit installed. What you got could potentially contain an additional rootkit or two ... My advice: buy a bargepole to throw them into the the bin !

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Hans 1
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Re: Such actions deserve a slap

Exactly, Google, help us out, here, please ...

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Satnav launches are like buses: none for ages then three arrive at once

Hans 1
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I do no understand the downvotes, for once ... ;-)

Then again, I grew up near a town where the bus service is a state service and free, as in beer. The service was pretty good at the time ... and best of all, it was/is free. To be fair, the town has a very big industrial area with quite a few very big factories - so corporate taxes actually paid for the service.

Where I live now (not at all the same area, in the same country, though) they have got a private company because Brussels thinks Maggy's idea was really great - I doubt the guyz who think that ever had the "joy" of trying to catch a bus in the UK. Now, over here buses simply fail to show up or are hopelessly late because of traffic congestion ... congestion that was caused by a substantial change to the bus service. They ditched many routes that were considered "not profitable enough" and re-routed many others (to maximize profits) causing the locals to grab their cars instead, causing more delays on the more "profitable" routes - of course, the company made big losses ... the council had to foot the bill ...

I have a bike with a baby-seat.

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Hans 1
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FAIL

>Satnav launches are like buses: none for ages then three arrive at once

What a brilliant idea to privatize public transportation, don't you think ? Thank you very much, Maggy.

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Jailed Brit con phishes prison, gets bail

Hans 1
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Re: Oh, the details

>If folks can fall for phishing, then a Word-built site will fool them, no problems.

Certainly, because they use ie, the only browser that can render that shit.

Dunno who that was, but I think that must have been the fastest downvote ever, LOL - the site still says "9min to edit your comment".

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David Cameron's Passport number emailed to footy-head

Hans 1
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Coffee/keyboard

>The person who received the file promised they deleted it – by emptying their Deleted Items folder – and apparently did so before the daily backup preserved the file.

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Silent server monitoring: A neat little cure that doesn't kill the patient

Hans 1
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WTF?

@Jay 2

According to its installation guide, Zenoss requires the Adobe Flash browser plugin ... it is open source so there is absolutely NO EXCUSE!

The supported browser section is a bit confusing ... since new browser version numbers* are released every other week over at mozilla the supported browser information should be maintained on the wiki, I guess, and linked to from the PDF.

*I have not seen anything new in FF since about 22, or was it 24?, currently running 36 - it's merely a browser with a regularly updated version number.

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Puppet Labs pulls strings on Docker, AWS and bare metal

Hans 1
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Thumb Up

Maybe the Year of the Puppet ?

This seems interesting. Puppet is so much more versatile than AD/GPO even for Windows-only shops that I can see a real potential.

Puppet not only allows you to control registry settings, like GPO does, it also allows you to control any file on the client systems, seamlessly.

This is getting interesting ...

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Europe drags, as Accenture posts steady growth

Hans 1
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Happy

Happy to hear UK businesses are staying clear of this bunch of MS reps.

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Force your hand: Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina Display

Hans 1
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Stop

Re: Wait for 15 inch update or buy existing one

> Unfortunately, like its predecessor, the new MacBook Pro also comes with its 8GB of memory soldered on to the motherboard.

That means nogo for me, don't get me wrong, I love the hardware, but RAM soldered onto mainboard is just criminal and should not be encouraged.

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Hans 1
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Re: Obligatory comparison with non-Apple laptop

I bought a display model white Macbook 13" in 2007 or 2008, got a discount because a, it was a display model, b, it was the previous generation model - in fact, they gave me a 320Gb external USB/FireWire hard drive with it for free (Iomega with mac mini looks) + 50 euro discount.

Sold Macbook a year later for the same amount I bought it.

A Wintel latop loses close to 80% of its value after year 1.

Like cars, German cars have a strong second-hand market.

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How a hack on Prince Philip's Prestel account led to UK computer law

Hans 1
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Facepalm

Next time, instead of harvesting "upvotes", you might as well use the " Tips and corrections" link - that is what it's there for!

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Hans 1
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Re: I'm a republican…

>Call it being disrespectful if you want, but respect has to be earned, and just coz someone happened to fall out of a certain cunt is no reason to respect 'em!

When one thinks that you are actually talking about a monarch, hilarious!

I would have added "[...] respect'em or give them more privileges than others".

Upper class, royals, nobility are the fruit of consanguinity or, in other words, a bunch of idiots. They have managed to set up this con act that has been going on for centuries ... that Santa, god or whatever you call the bearded man who lives in the skies, gave them this "privilege" to be more equal than others.

Père Noël et mon droit.

Honi soit qui bien y pense.

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SGI sales mushroom with Atomic Weapons Establishment deal

Hans 1
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WTF?

>The financial terms of the deal were not revealed.

So tax payers money was spent on this, however, tax payers are not allowed to know how much ... great work! Pitchforks anyone ?

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PATRIOT Act axed, NSA spying halted ... wake up, Neo, it's just a dream in the US House of Reps

Hans 1
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@tom dial

I cannot say much about your first paragraph, don't have time to read up on all that, but your second paragraph is hilarious, thanks for the good laugh!

Again, for the joy:

>Interestingly, 50 USC 3033(k)(5) contains procedures for agencies and for government and contractor employees to follow in reporting "urgent concerns", including violations of the law, about the conduct of intelligence activities. These procedures explicitly permit a government or contractor employee who has made a report to his agency inspector general to report that fact (although not, immediately, the details of the complaint) to a member of either legislative intelligence committee or their staff. I have seen no statements to indicate that Mr. Snowden took advantage of them.

Do you really think Mr. Snowden had survived if he had reported his concerns ? I am sure that, when a police officer breaks the law you go to the nearest police office and report it, right ? I dunno where you live, but in France, you simply do not do that ... if you do, you will learn pretty quickly that it is a very good idea to move to another region at the very least 300 miles away ...

Everybody knew, including all members of the committee you mention, what was happening - "we are fighting a war, after all" is what you hear all day long. The same war the party was fighting in Orwell's master piece - invisible "brotherhood" ...

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Tennessee sues FCC: Giving cities free rein to provide their own broadband is 'unlawful'

Hans 1
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Boffin

Re: OK can put this into simple stupid terms for me..

@ Lost all faith...

FCC says local government CAN (not must) run local internet.

State government complains because they want 100% control over local governments. They do not want local governments to compete with private sector companies.

Local government wants to step-in for lousy service by private companies and provide broadband internet services to all of their citizens.

There are three layers, here, not two ...

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