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* Posts by DavidK

49 posts • joined 18 Jul 2009

Apple wants to OWN YOUR VERY SOLE

DavidK
Pint

"shoes that walk me home from the pub"

Haven't you woken up safely in bed after a night on the lash before, and wondered how you got there? These already exist, and that's not a patent, it's magic.

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McDonald's punters offered sex in exchange for Chicken McNuggets

DavidK
Pint

Eh? Am I in a time warp? Is it Friday afternoon already?

Because this sounds distinctly like a Friday afternoon article.

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Raspberry Pi Linux micro machine enters mass production

DavidK
Alien

Toasters

Reminds me of Red Dwarf...

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Tiny frog claimed as smallest vertebrate ever

DavidK
Joke

Am I right in thinking

that there is a real frog in 'ere?

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Pop teen beats Steve Jobs in Google's 2011 popularity contest

DavidK
Trollface

Who needs to search for Adele?

You could hardly miss her.

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Facebook disses Effin Irishwoman

DavidK
Pint

Award, award!

Drink! Feck!

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Reg man the most-flamed recruiter in the UK?

DavidK
Headmaster

- "shouldn't have got passed the agency"

- "technies"

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Steve Jobs named most influential game guy – ever

DavidK
Trollface

U mad bro?

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Cable employee admits replacing Superbowl feed with porn

DavidK
Pint

Give the man a pint.

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Domain registry touts dot-surnames for $500k

DavidK
Flame

Suppose I sold fuel for blast furnaces

And therefore bought .coke.

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NHS orgs not keen on UK gov's mega-intranet

DavidK
Thumb Down

No! Don't change the name.

Think of the £whatever-amount-dr-evil-tried-to-extort it would cost in branding consultants. And you'd be trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

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Booze giant's Facebook tie-up sparks ad concerns

DavidK
Pint

Drinkaware?

I'm drink aware. I'm aware I want another drink.

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Virtual and real worlds collide in gamers' minds

DavidK
Happy

If Pacman had affected my generation

We'd be stumbling around darkened rooms, popping pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

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Scientists snap amazing technicolour dreamtoad

DavidK
Alien

Drugs are bad

Mmkay?

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Nokia gets touchy-feely with two new Symbians

DavidK
FAIL

Can anyone say

Osborne Effect?

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Red Dwarf to blast off on new adventure

DavidK
Alien

I'll watch it

but I do hope it's not as sh1te as Back to Earth.

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Keep your PC clean - or we'll shut you down

DavidK
FAIL

If I'm kicked off

then I can't update Windows or my virus scanner. Are they going to add exceptions for sites dealing in patches?

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Martha Lane Fox to clone 10m copies of self

DavidK

And here was me thinking

that Scouting was about outdoor activities.

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Ballmer: Windows Mobile lost a 'whole generation'

DavidK

Will these new tablets

run Duke Nukem Forever?

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Russian spy ring bust uncovers tech toolkit

DavidK

Mmmmmmmm

Spy lady can access my restricted area anytime.

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Newtonian Rock shop leaks iPad prices

DavidK
FAIL

At that price

I'd buy a full-fat laptop that could play games, flash, whatever and have more connectivity options as standard than I could shake a stick at. Why would I pay more for less?

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BT fibre upgrades hit full speed

DavidK

Great

Some little places there but not my town in the SE with over 130,000 people.

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IT contractors convicted of UK casino hack scam

DavidK

re: Usual story

I hear they just accidentally the WHOLE casino.

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Dedicated Vi device vies for buyers

DavidK

I want one!

But do I wait for the Pandora's release or buy the thing moiety mentions instead? Decisions...

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Mozilla gives passive-aggressive missive to pre-Firefox 3.6 hold-outs

DavidK

<title/>

Pisses me off that no Linux distro keeps up to date with this. Even Windows does better in that regard.

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Computer boffin on NHS Spine: Get out while you can

DavidK

I haven't received a letter yet

Is everyone going to receive a letter? Do I still need to opt out if I don't get a letter, and if so, how?

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US school comes out fighting over webcam spy claim

DavidK
Pint

(untitled)

Surely a savvy kid could reinstall with a dodgy copy of Windows (either downloaded or borrowed off a mate). Or even Linux. I'd certainly try if it was me. We all know you can't be sure of security if the guilty party has physical access to the machine.

Also, Becta's promises don't mean jack. I'd rather have the school spying than the government spying.

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Taser offers obsessive parents total mobe intrusion package

DavidK
FAIL

What's to stop the kids

buying another cheap-ass PAYG phone?

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Brown offers free laptops to deprived UK schoolkids

DavidK

If the kid has physical access to the machine

without a parent or teacher watching, security WILL get bypassed.

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Brit ISP knocked offline by Latvian DDOS

DavidK

In Soviet Russia

DDOS launches YOU!!!

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IPS in cunning 'get an ID card, get crucified' scheme

DavidK
Pint

The people called Romanes

they go the house?

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Adobe predicted as top 2010 hacker target

DavidK

I turn off JavaScript in my Acrobat Reader

As I don't see the fucking point. Should stop a lot of this malware.

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Fancy a lottery win? Smoke dried vulture brains

DavidK

Vultures.

Faaahsands of 'em.

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Nokia jacks up Apple patent complaint

DavidK
Troll

<title/>

>extending its accusations to cover "virtually all of [Apple's] mobile phones, portable music players, and computers,"

OK, now they're just trolling.

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Serial slurry fetish man jailed again

DavidK

Jail?

He should be in a mental hospital!

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Johnson refuses to intervene in McKinnon extradition

DavidK
FAIL

@Jason Yau

It would HAVE been a good idea.

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Microsoft enlists faceless girl band as face of Windows 7

DavidK
Paris Hilton

Pictures please.

And don't diss the Sugababes, I don't care for their music but Heidi would definitely get it.

Paris as there aren't any other icons of females to choose from.

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Google hoodwinked into pushing Chrome OS scareware

DavidK
Linux

Pretty sure I got the real one

As the process involved tarballs and git and compiling from source.

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Blogger outs back-end Google tech

DavidK

Half of analysis is...

anal.

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Britain needs meat trimmers and boners, not techies

DavidK

Too many tw*ts in suits

Not enough people who actually know how to do their job. That goes for public and private sector, IT and management, etc.

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IT workers top UK inertia league

DavidK
Badgers

Too much coffee, too little exercise.

Bear+shit+woods.

Badgers, as like bears they can look cute but can also be downright nasty.

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NJ teen jailed over Scientology DDoS

DavidK
FAIL

Epic fail

When Anon does a raid, you are supposed to say that eBaum's did it.

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Wikipedia sued for publishing convicted murderer's name

DavidK

Can't Wiki just tell them

to refer to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram?

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Blind gamer sues Sony

DavidK

Warning

May contain traces of nuts.

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Early adopters bloodied by Ubuntu's Karmic Koala

DavidK
Linux

Problems with Ubuntu?

Try Debian. Same great package manager (they made it) and it runs on just about anything from an old SPARC32 laptop (if you're willing to go back to etch) to a 64-bit quad-core PC.

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Wales adopts mobile average speed cameras

DavidK
Big Brother

Somebody should try

attaching e-paper screens to their number plates. Then change the displayed number between the cameras/when you're on the M4/etc.

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BOFH: Weapon of choice

DavidK
Stop

Hammer Time

Can't touch this.

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Apple sued over shrink-wrapped Mafia death threats

DavidK
Alien

A few sandwiches short of a picnic?

He's not just missing the sandwiches, he's missing the beer, the scotch eggs, the plates, the blanket, the cool bag, all of it.

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