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* Posts by May Contain Nuts

10 posts • joined 16 Jul 2009

Nexus One in trigger-happy 999-dialling bother

May Contain Nuts
Black Helicopters

No need to worry...

Give it 6 months and the redirect will be changed to Google's own Emergency Services Service where a giant Google deathbot will come and rescue you, whilst peppering you with irrelevant advertising and telling you how wonderful they are.

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Watchdog takes hard line on 'adult film xtras' ad

May Contain Nuts
FAIL

Sorry...

£5000 to advertise his services as a porn star? They must have seen him coming...

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Plough gives birth to sextuplets

May Contain Nuts
Heart

Space is fricking awesome...

...It makes me so sad that we'll understand such a tiny fraction of it in my lifetime...

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LINX failure slows UK net traffic

May Contain Nuts
FAIL

Yes, but...

...They also said they'd fixed it at 9pm and 11pm last night, so don't be surprised to see it all go titsup again this evening.

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Japanese bloke gets arsey over artificial rectum

May Contain Nuts
Coat

I hope they get to the bottom of this...

This bloke had high hopes for a career as a farting musician, but the Japanese health service rectum.

Etc, etc...

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UK fatties demand 'hate crime' status for lardo-baiting

May Contain Nuts
Go

You're a (fat) plonker...

"I have been discriminated against - I am a YMCA qualified fitness instructor, but I have gone for jobs and been laughed off the premises,"

Just like I, as a web developer, would be laughed out of pitches if I sent potential customers a Front Page Express page as my portfolio...

I have no problem with half the population being fat and unhealthy - it'll make it easier for the rest of us to hunt and eat them when the world descends into a post-apocolyptic Mad Max-style place after the swine-flu/credit crunch/meteor/Windows 7 armageddon hits.

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Mozilla plans to tie Firefox 3.7 pigtails in pretty Ribbon

May Contain Nuts
Thumb Down

I'd far rather...

...they spent the time and effort working out what it was they broke in 3.5 to make Firefox take up 500Mb of system resource when I open 2 tabs, or why Firefox has crashed more in the last few weeks than it has ever done in the past few years.

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Swedish lesbians suck sperm banks dry

May Contain Nuts
Boffin

Re: A question...

@Steve Swann

I'm sure the sperm bank would give all-male couples all the sperm they want, but I fail to see what they'd be able to do with it?

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Government pig flu spotter pulls a sickie

May Contain Nuts
Stop

Steady on!

How can you attack a government which is handing out such fantastic advice to pregnant women as "to reduce the risk of catching swine flu, avoid contact with people who have swine flu". My tax money isn't being wasted here - move along...

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Tattooed Swedish devil girls sexually molest cyclist

May Contain Nuts
Paris Hilton

Strange...

In this country, it's usually the victims who are trying to beat off the attackers...

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