* Posts by I didn't do IT.

327 posts • joined 16 Jul 2009

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US Army 'to issue every soldier with a smartphone'

I didn't do IT.
Pirate

Mil $pec

"the brass aren't usually happy unless tech items cost twenty times more (and, more often that not, work twenty times worse) than off-the-shelf solutions would ;)"

But that's only if their brother-in-law is the "sole source" provider of the "special" equipment...

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Flash is not that reliable

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Data Source

"Hardware.fr obtained its component failure rate statistics from an unidentified retailer's repairs and returns database. "

No doubt from the hard drive of a customer's computer after they received the machine back from repairs, eh?

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Anonymous hackers' Wikileaks 'infowar' LATEST ROUNDUP

I didn't do IT.
Coat

Important and are Highly Paid?

Sorry, amanfromMars1, I'm afraid that just means that Lewis is low-paid and unimportant even from the standpoint of the management of El Reg's meager subsistance.

Icon? Checking for loose change - there's a pub open somewhere.

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Walmart falls in with Washington's war on terror

I didn't do IT.
Unhappy

It's time to play LOTTO!

That's right, where the person to your left or right could make you win FABULOUS PRIZES and CASH, CASH, CASH!

- with apologies to the relevant science fiction movie...

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Financial vice tightens on Wikileaks, hacktivistas retaliate

I didn't do IT.
Joke

How to make a terrorist

In order to get Something You Want(tm) from a smaller group:

* Befriend smaller target group by pointing out how similar you are against A Common Enemy(tm) and how they can only win with your help.

* Train people in the smaller group how to fight the larger, more powerful group.

* Provide the smaller group with a stick to poke the larger, more powerful group.

* Sit back and let them annoy and insult the larger group without your name getting into the papers.

* Once larger group has decided the smaller group is too much of a waste and leaves, come in and assume the smaller group is now your friend and that they will give up their weird ways and become just like you so they will buy your stuff and pay you using the Something You Want(tm).

* Act surprised when they tell you to jump off a cliff.

* Demonize the smaller group by emphasizing the differences, and infer that these make them "bad" to your population.

* Poke smaller group with stick. Repeat until they wave around the stick you gave them.

* Poke smaller group with bigger stick.

* Assist or support other (small/large) groups that are already fighting or more overtly affecting the smaller target group.

* Poke the smaller group's friends with (bigger) stick.

* Create documents spelling out like stereo instructions, how you could be "hurt badly". Leave these Plans To Hurt You(tm) laying around anyplace you can think of. Saying they were secret, stolen, and should never be read should ensure widest distribution.

* Translate documents into other languages, just in case.

* Where did I put that 2x4 support beam? Poke them, their friends, family, their pet and have your animal rights group condemn them for not protecting the pet better.

* Encourage others to stop dealing with target smaller group. Force smaller group into economic misery.

* You did send them the Plans To Hurt You(tm), right?

* Be VERY surprised when they follow one or more of the Plans To Hurt You(tm). Try to be feeding soup to lepers or reading to orphans when it happens. Bonus points if you are on TV doing this when it happens.

* Use act to go in and slap them with LOTS of little sticks. Get your friends to join in the fun.

If you did this right, you get to hang around the smaller group, get the Something You Want(tm), slap them with sticks made in your country (creating jobs!), and try to get other countries to pay for some of it. Win-Win, eh?

Joke? I am hopeful, but sometimes I wonder...

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£1bn+ Royal Navy destroyer finally fires 'disgraceful' weapon

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: Feel Like Doing That?

Yes. Indeed I do. I'm sure you don't mind that I started without the funding, do you?

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Legendary steampunk computer 'should be built' - programmer

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: Not a toy

Sad to say, but all the people with the time and money that might go to this endeavor *were* the pretentious children in their day... Some of us have even grown up, in some ways... :)

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Paris brushes off Japanese ejection over coke bust

I didn't do IT.
WTF?

Re: Asian vs. Oriental

That's because "oriental" has become a derogatory term.

A common response to calling someone from Japan or China (or of such descent) "oriental" is "I'm a person - not a rug!"

Perhaps a symptom of our PC (not computer) culture running rampant? Or just over sensitive people?

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Is US prudishness ruining the internet?

I didn't do IT.
Flame

Re: need for some form or censorship

"What if someone made up a claim you abused children and you didn't do anything wrong? In such cases names are censored from the press to protect people who could be innocent."

Actually, I have yet to find a case (in the US, for over 18's) where the person being accused in given anonimity after the charge or during the proceedings... it would be the alleged "victim" that receives that benefit.

That, dear sir, is merely the mechanism that has been installed over several decades with a new veneer - used to be called "having Indian blood" or "gone native", "being a sympathizer", "being a communist", and now you will find it under "suspected terrorist" and "pedophile".

Why spend all that money you collect in taxes to "protect" people from phantoms you create when you can make them do it to themselves SO MUCH BETTER and watch them scurry around like bugs under a rock? Use the skimmed cash to buy popcorn and enjoy the show.

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I didn't do IT.
Alert

Re: Both AC's - missed point and ludicrous article

Defy reality?

The reality that parents don't care what their children do, watch, or consume through media or "educational institutions" - just as long as little "Treysure" and "Dohmenik" don't annoy them or cost them too much (any) money?

The reality that American "victim culture" has become more of a mass market product than any other tangible or intangible "good" (including social mores)?

The reality that children are used as a panacea to keep us all non-thinking 8 years old for as long as possible?

The reality that American hypocrisy towards the natural state (show me anyone born in a cardigan) is broadcast across every media outlet known to man while "teeny-boppers" are sexed up to increase retail sales in print, TV, and radio... talk about "reminding us everyday"!

Or is it the simple reality that when someone points out that the personal belief of someone or a relatively small group in "power" might not be the best reflection of the majority in a world-wide "democratic" medium (the internet), they become a target for attempts at ridcule from people who crave to relinquish responsibility for "security" ?

Why, all of the above, guv.

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I didn't do IT.
Joke

Re: @skelband "Why?"

"Does looking at pornography lead people to commit sexual offences against others or does it does it provide a safe satiation to desires that would otherwise be bottled up and lead to said offences?"

Indeed - we need to allow these women to look at the pornography that allow themselves release as opposed to them offending against others on the streets or other public and private places.

Yep - there is nothing that says an "offending" person is always a guy, and numerous cases and persons listed on one sexual register or another bear this out. I don't think skelband intentionally meant that, but I could already hear the "burn the guy that dun it" thoughts all the way over here...

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Thieves jam key-fob lock signals in mystery car thefts

I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Re: Unwanted Signal

Actually, anything that is licensed to be sold in the US has to follow FCC Part B regulations, which state (roughly) that any "unwanted" operation caused by interference MUST be accepted by the device (and that it shouldn't cause any unwanted interference in other devices).

So you can't even get around it by hardening it against "unwanted" interference.

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Steve Jobs chops student hack down to size

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: Sarah Re Tsk?

Sarah, that would have required "research", and well... that's the whole point of the story, innit?

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Police spent tens of thousands on failed BitTorrent probe

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Re: Income from "successful" prosecutions

Like the mother of 2 convicted for over $1 million? Pretty sure that's "nada".

RIAA, MPAA, IBPF, etc. have obviously never heard the term "can't get blood from a stone"... but they seem quite happy "beating a dead horse"...

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Bollywood 'recruits DDoS hired guns to fight movie pirates'

I didn't do IT.
Joke

"...have to put the site down."

Bad Doggie!

Seriously, however, this is a disturbing precident that could become seen as tacit approval of reprisal techniques; especially if some of these "sites" are spoofed or merely proxies.

One goes down, another comes online and slips under your search because you are busy pounding away on the hapless zombie...

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US raygun jumbo jet fails to beam down test missile

I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Re: Cooling @James Hughes 1

While possibly viable, the electricity would have to be stored in batteries - most military lasers operate at very short pulses (< 500ms), not giving enough time for H2O to convert to gaseous state, expand through a turbine system, and drive a generator in time for the laser to utilize that electricity generated for the same pulse (or even a subsequent pulse in the attack set)... If the plumbing system could be made lightweight enough to still take the high pressures involved safely on a aircraft.

Most of the heat is absorbed by a paraffin coat at present, which takes much more heat (at MUCH safer pressures for an airplane) than a heavy steam plumbing system. Either way, efficiency increases are better bang for the buck.

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I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Re: Cooling

The fact that they can cool it effectively isn't the issue - its the fact that the energy generating the heat is wasted *as heat* and not stimulating more nifty photons at the target.

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Koran-burning 'pastor' loses website

I didn't do IT.
Boffin

@ Chronos

OP was referring to the article, where the right Rev. will also be burning Talmuds, the Jewish religous text... or for Christians - the Old Testament.

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Internet, China and Russia destroying US, rock and roll

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: how can that be destroying the music industry?

"It provides a mechanism where a pennyless artist can upload some tracks to a billion wide audience..."

That means that the "industry" doesn't make any money off of 'em, that's how.

Icon - because I'm happy about it.

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I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Heed them not, for they know not what they say...

Remember, every true "rocker" from a(ny) previous generation who "speaks out" must have their words taken with a grain of salt - they had access to recreational pharmacueticals we can only dream of today, so it is only right that it doesn't make much sense...

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WikiLeaks readies next release

I didn't do IT.
Grenade

Re: All too easy to play armchair general

"...and think that we know better than those whose jobs it is to fight wars on our behalf."

Then hear it from one of those people who did the job and does know better - you won't know the half of it.

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Pupils find teacher's abuse images

I didn't do IT.
Flame

Re: Level 1

Doesn't make the CORBIS or Flickr collections liable, due to the "organization and amount"?

Oh, of course not... someone of better breeding is making money off of them, so its alright then.

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I didn't do IT.
Flame

Re: practically every parent in the land a paedo

BINGO! You figured out the plan! Congratulations.

And now that every parent is reduced to living in fear that something in the family album will rip away their children, lose them their jobs, and make them a social criminal and pariah, the government now has all the tools it needs to take out anyone they "have an issue" with.

Done and dusted, as they say.

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'Spintronic' computing gets closer with laser 'lectron discovery

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Re: It stands to reason

Reason stands for no man.

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Skeletal scanner would ID terrorists from 50 meters

I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Re: Terrorist Divining Rod

Actually, that was a real product that sold for over $5,000 a pop - until someone finally got some sense in the audit office and kicked them out on their ear.

Was originally used for "detecting" bombs and drugs... but didn't do any better than random searches. Surprising, eh?

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LucasFilm sets lawyers on Jedi nameswipers

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Re: Don't be too proud

... of this legislative terror you have constructed. The ability to destroy a company is insignificant to the power of the F****... What? I can't say "F****" due to copyright?! Did you just bleep me, m*****f******?!?!

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Ball player gets Beaver ban after drunken naked tasering

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: White Russians

Obviously, you're not a golfer.

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Acrobatic pilot survives loss of wing

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Re: Any landing

but any landing where you can fly the plane afterwards is a GREAT one!

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I didn't do IT.
FAIL

Re: Cars kill far more people, after all

That doesn't count - if people couldn't drive to work, then industry would suffer.

Business doesn't care if some people get killed - as long as there is a pool of workers to take the place of the missing ones.

Why else would we not be allowed to take finger nail clippers on a plane, but we put the equivelent explosive power of three sticks of dynamite into our vehhicles once or twice a week for a few pounds?

Once you bring it all down to money and who gets it (real money, not the "pocket change" we get paid weekly), it is surprising how consistent it is.

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Black helicopters circle 'Welsh Roswell'

I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Re: UFOs cause earthquakes

... and that they can be prevented by using sheep's bladders. QED.

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Apple eyes kill switch for jailbroken iPhones

I didn't do IT.
Unhappy

Re: frustrated

"Having been attacked & robbed of an iphone by a gang, it's frustrating that nothing could be done."

That seriously sucks, dude. I feel for ya and appreciate that you place the blame on unsolved "normal, unsexy" crimes squarely where it belongs - on the Police.

If they are "too busy" to pop round to pick up and collar a thief when the stolen property is on display for sale in the front yard (still with the identifying markings and serial reported to the Police by the victim three doors down) and they are provided with photographs, GPS maps, a link to the ebay listing, etc; how can they be expected to *actually work* to find else?

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I didn't do IT.
FAIL

Re: Gullible

I fail to see how El Reg's presentation of accurate quotes is causing me to be "whipped into a frenzy," furthering advertising revenue.

I read the articles to get the latest news with little regard to the actual topic - If I knew what the news already was today, I would not need to read a news site, no?

If I felt that the Register was no longer humourous or accurate, I would be off to one of those Murdock Approved(tm) paysites, eh?

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Nvidia licenses Rambus memory tech

I didn't do IT.

Re: JEDEC

I thought that was the problem... RAMbus got proposed specifications adopted as the standard, but didn't tell anyone that they already applied for the patents. Making anything that followed the standard subject to RAMbus for royalty payments.

IIRC there was a great furor about it being underhanded, etc. and a call to ensure that anything submitted for consideration for a standard either (a) could not be patented or (b) had to have any and all patents consigned to the standard body for trusteeship and royalty free licensing.

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RIM tries to placate everyone

I didn't do IT.
Pirate

Re: Sealand!

Isn't this EXACTLY the type of situation that Sealand was marketing itself as the perfect place for?

Shame about that fire, really... I wonder if it is still on the market?

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Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

I didn't do IT.
Pint

Why oh why...

do I see a young Tom Baker in the bottom image??!

Perhaps I am just realizing Dr. Who withdrawl... or perhaps a frosty adult beverage to wake up.

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Naked German women evade Swedish chopper

I didn't do IT.
Pirate

Re: Expected to Do

"They were reported as missing, and the police searched for them. What else do you expect them to do?"

Obviously, the OP was lulled into apathy by the state of their own police forces. Any missing persons reports to the local plod are usually met with "meh".

Perhaps the reason for the, ahem, urgency was the tips on tantilizing Teutonic tetons?

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Extreme porn law on the ropes

I didn't do IT.
Unhappy

Re: The Tipster

Odds are really, really good that either (a) the ex-wife or (b) her boyfriend (current or last weeks' ex) was the one that gave the anonymous tip.

As a single dad with only visitation, I know how "inconvenient" it is for the custodial parent if some guy she shacked up with to drop a sprog and get the welfare bonus tries to be a responsible part of the kids' lives. "Why can't he just pay up his £100 per week and sod off?" is a mantra from these women...

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I didn't do IT.
Big Brother

Re: Stigmatise victims?

If the alleged victim's names are not published (as currently), how does that stigmatise them?

Let's face it; if they don't have SOME ONE's name to publish, it just makes it difficult to turn the thing newsworthy... and we all know that if we aren't reminded ALL THE D@MN TIME about the sexual predator threat, people might just wonder if it really exists...

Can't have people thinking for themselves, now, can we?

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Alien spymobile menaces Street View

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Some Say...

Some say his very presence makes Eric Schmidt's bones turn to jello...

And some say that Google still can't scan his image during any of their book binges...

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Feds admit storing pervscanner pics

I didn't do IT.
Unhappy

Re: Reconciliation of test scores

Simples. Reduce the tests to 50% being the correct name on the test front (even if it is misspelled), and scores go through the roof no matter how much drool gets on the sheet...

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Lonely Planet augments muggers' earnings

I didn't do IT.
Thumb Up

Re: Vibrate when...

I would much rather have it vibrate to let me know I should get the flock out of where ever I am!

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eBay car vendor flashes wedding tackle

I didn't do IT.
Joke

Re: Fastest way to women

Sadly, for some women out there (obviously not El Reg readers, I pray), that IS the fastest way to get their... attentions.

That, and if they showed the face, they would realize they already snubbed him off as a jerk last night at the bar...

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Google boss turns Wave demise into success of sorts

I didn't do IT.
Unhappy

Re: Standing on the shoulders

"Its a shame that such an approach becomes increasing difficult now, thanks to companies keeping one eye on their share price and another on sneering articles like this one..."

I thought it was because the failed companies are bought up by patent shill companies for pennies in the hope that someone, somewhere else will figure out how to do something even only superficially similar and then sue them into non-existance at the first chance...

Simply CAN NOT see why people aren't lining up to be the first few shot down...

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Terrafugia Transition flying car redesign - first analysis

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: New Thinking

I think you will find its rather old thinking - "pod command modules" (ie - command "car") for different styles of vehicles were conceptualized back in the 40's in "popular" literature (as far as I can research). But that doesn't make it a worthless idea. :)

While the wheels of the Smart would not be viable in their current configuration for landing, it is quite possible that some modification could be implemented to lower the back wheels for a lower angle of attack approach as well as beefing up the front for the inevitable bouncing. Perhaps some sort of rotating cam system to lower and retract as needed?

As long as no effort is made to make the plane run off of the car's engine/fuel/battery and just use the control mechanisms, this could be a quite fun series of weekend projects for the next couple years.

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Superhero game beta sucks boobs into honeypot

I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: Annoyed mark

Potato, potatoe... gotta get the research from somewhere, eh lads?

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Carnivorous plague mice 'wiping out towns' in US Midwest

I didn't do IT.
Coat

Re: Gopher Suicide Hotline, can I help you?

Is it possible he was bubonically infected, and simply wanted the Kevorkian way out?

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I didn't do IT.
Happy

Re: Far West?

Nope - Far West is Califorinia.

We got all the kooks out there as we kept telling them West was just a little bit further west...

Seems our neighbors to the West did the same thing.

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Women, gorillas likelier to have sex with men wearing red

I didn't do IT.
Pirate

Re: tight red dress

Yeah, that might work. Would have to borrow one from the missus.

I better shave my beard first - but can I keep my moustache?

Thanks. Icon? - shaving implements. :)

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Location-based quantum crypto now possible, boffins say

I didn't do IT.
Boffin

Electron Pairing, anyone?

What happened with the wild claims that Electron pairing would circumvent the need to transmit messages over ANY network whatsoever?

Two electrons, paired, would provide the ability to "flip" one and the other would automatically flip in sympathetic order. While the data rate may be less than a T1, it would be impossible to intercept and would be completely undetectible in its "transmission".

Not only that, there was quite the speculation that it would happen instantaneously - no matter the distance (thereby circumventing light speed restrictions on data transfer).

What happened to all of this?

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Hack uses Google Street View data to stalk its victims

I didn't do IT.
Pirate

Privacy is dead?

“Privacy is dead, people.”

Privacy has always been there for those that want it. Those that assume they have privacy have never had it.

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