* Posts by Bilgepipe

850 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Jul 2009

Toshiba AC100 Android smartbook

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Oh Dear

Fail. But, as Google have already stated, Android is not really suited to tablets and *books yet. Manufacturers seem to be falling over themselves to dump Android onto whatever thin, flat devices they can to try and get a run on the iPad, and failing, really quite epically.

BT network goes titsup up north

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Great

Meanwhile, someone has wired up Mount Everest with 3G. I bet they get better service than the one BT provides.

Google's $8.5 million Buzz settlement a go

Bilgepipe
Thumb Up

Ouch

"organizations "focused on" internet privacy or privacy education?"

Ouch, I bet Eric "Just move and change your name" Schmidt ain't very happy with that. Hah.

First Windows Phone 7 handsets sell out

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Eh?

"Consumers don't care about the missing bits - the copy 'n' paste... etc."

Funny, it was pretty damn important when the original iPhone shipped without it - four years ago - according to the anti-Apple-tards at least.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

Bilgepipe

Star Wars Game?

Jedi Knight 2. Nuff said.

Fans roast Microsoft for Silverlight demotion

Bilgepipe

Wrong

"it's a comment on how the industry has changed"

No, the industry is carrying on exactly as it was before - not using your proprietary software.

It's not as if this is the first time MS has taken a dump over a large portion of it's developer community, and it won't be the last.

Google rejects spy-happy Android app

Bilgepipe
Thumb Up

Nearly there

One down, several tens of thousands to go.

Enormous Paleozoic flesh-eaters created in lab

Bilgepipe
Alert

This can only end badly

Presumably all the dragonflies and radioactive horror monsters are female, to prevent breeding? Yeah yeah, we've heard it all before.

I'm going to fetch Jeff Goldblum immediately.

Ballmer pitches PC as smartest device on planet

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Con?

"It's not all the core that'll get written but it's a way of allowing... a level of innovation between the front end and back end even as people con to invest in a new front end."

Err, what?

Setting aside his inability to form a coherent sentence, Ballmer is still stuck in the past, along with his products. Every single Mac, iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad have the *same* core OS in them. MS had to rewrite their mobile OS from scratch the other week just to try and catch up. We'll see what the result is when they actually finish it.

Windows is the past - old, bloated, non-scalable - and Ballmer is still trying to shoehorn it into the future.

Adobe Reader browse-and-get-pwned 0day under attack

Bilgepipe
FAIL

How many more times...

...does this have to happen? Dump Flash, dump Adobe, and dump Windows at the same time, for good measure. Security problem solved.

Microsoft's IE9 'nearly finished'

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Fail

Why do they keep bothering? For every monolithic new release of IE that Microsoft squeezes out, their competitors release about 63 releases of their superior browsers.

Microsofts model doesn't work any more.

419ers threaten terrorism charges

Bilgepipe

The US Army are at it, too...

I got one from none other than General Peter Schoomaker [sic] himself:

"Gen. Schoomaker Peter Jan (RET)

Commanding Generals & Chiefs

Chiefs of Staff 1775-2005.

United States

Army Center of Military

My name is General Peter Schoomaker, the former Chief of Army Staff (C.A.S). Actually,I acquired 15.5 Million US Dollarsfrom an oil business I did in Iraq with an Iraqi citizen. I need a good partner who i can trust to assist me in receiving the consignment on my behalf.

All arrangement to bring out the consignment from Iraq have being concluded with a United Nations diplomat. I need someone who can receive it since i can't receive it directly due to my status.

I am offering you 20% of the total sum for your assistance and the 80% will be transferred to my account which I will instruct you in my next email to you on how it will be transferred to my account. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe place where the funds can be sent to.

Your immediate attention to this serious matter is urgently requested and a timely response regarding your plan of action will be appreciated.

Best Regard,

Gen Schoomaker Peter Jan (RET)"

LOST Vulture One PARIS spaceplane FOUND!!!

Bilgepipe
Thumb Up

Awesome

Next stop, Mars!

MYSTERY of vanished PARIS spaceplane, playmonaut

Bilgepipe
Unhappy

Oh My God

That poor little plastic guy. *sniff*

PARIS HAS LANDED!!! Epic supra-atmos flight ends

Bilgepipe

Moving

The balloon seems to be moving slightly. Has it been picked up by a hungry bear? Or Bigfoot? Perhaps the plastonaut is wandering around the trees in a daze following his epic trip.

Bilgepipe

When the going gets tough...

Tension mounts as the chase car turns back...

We need a Police Camera Action helicopter providing live video.

Bond car bought at auction

Bilgepipe

Nope.

It'll be tax-exempt. Sorry, road-fund-license-exempt.

Intel lobs pork buns at world gone Google

Bilgepipe
Happy

Mmmmm

Mmmmmm, dim sum.

Pillar refresh alert as R5 hits the streets

Bilgepipe
WTF?

WTF?

"R5 is focused on a management update which will lay the groundwork for the management of multiple Axioms through one pane of glass."

What? /Glass?/ What are you talking about?

Trucker jailed for deadly motorway gamble

Bilgepipe

Manslaughter

"On topic: Why no man slaughter charge?"

The UK is scared to death of linking dangerous driving and manslaughter because it feels people in cars should be allowed to do whatever they like with the minimum of penalty, and because the prisons aren't big enough for the ensuing landslide of boy racers.

Bilgepipe
WTF?

WTF?

How they go about finding it is irrelevant - he had kiddie porn on his laptop. Did you offer the same criticism to the tech guys who found Gary Glitters stash?

Ellison accuses HP boss of espionage

Bilgepipe
Alert

Blimey

<scouser>Calm down, calm down.</scouser>

LimeWire (finally) dies under judge's gavel

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Theft is indeed Theft

If it was a file containing your person details that was downloaded, you'd be first in line to call it theft.

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Yawn

"it won't be long until all mac apps have to be installed via the app store anyway"

Paranoid much? But then I doubt you even have a Mac, so your comment is a little silly.

Schmidt: I 'misspoke' over Street View

Bilgepipe

Walking

Do I need your permission to walk down your street and look at your house myself?

HP whips out iPad challenger Windows 7 fondle-slab

Bilgepipe

He Can't

He can't tell you how this is unproductive, because the anti-apple-tards don't need to justify their bile with facts. The actual reality of the iPad isn't part of their argument, hence their ability to deride a device they've never even seen, let alone used.

Bilgepipe
Unhappy

Sad

<vitriol snipped for brevity> "idol [sic] rich, Apple fanbois, or some of both. No expansion, HDMI ports, USB ports, Flash, or business apps, make it a toy for people with more money than sense. Apple sells hobbled toys to mass numbers of blind, coolaid [sic] drinking idiots who defend their fearless leader while bent over with pants around ankles. No thanks."

It's so sad to see such blind hatred against something so mundane as a computer. Add to that one you haven't even used and by your own admission will never use, you come across as a very bitter person. Sad really. I mean, no business apps? It's not meant to be a business device (despite businesses snapping them up).

And you spelled idle wrongly. An iPad would have corrected you.

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Stylus = Fail

How do you do multi-touch with a single stylus?

Microsoft sings Happy Birthday to Windows 7

Bilgepipe
Thumb Up

Awesome

"See: Vista, which turns four in January next year, was just a bad dream. Steve Ballmer simply had to click his heels three times to wake up from the nightmare."

I loled.

Hands on with the new Apple MacBook Air

Bilgepipe
Jobs Halo

Shite

Because the EeePC, like the one I have, will be cheap nasty shite.

-10 points for using the word "cultist." Childish.

Dell takes aim at Apple with upmarket pledge

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Patently Wrong

You use the word "patently," as in clearly, plainly. If this were so, people would stop buying these goods after realising - as you have /without/ buying them - that they are "junk." Continually escalating sales figures would seem to prove you patently wrong.

Bilgepipe
FAIL

This can only end badly

So Dell wants to go up-market.

In other news, Happy Shopper gains Royal Approval.

X2 triplex super-copter to be offered as Army 'Raider' craft

Bilgepipe

Slow

I'm sure they can just slow it down a bit when they want to look at stuff, like rubbernecking a car accident.

Microsoft cuts loose Iron languages

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Lolz

"the .NET Micro Framework, which was once the hope for "smart" watches endorsed by Bill Gates."

Lol. Another shining example of the tech visionary that is Bill Gates. So these "smart watches" were chucked on the same pile as Bob, Mira, Tablet PCs and all the other "visions" he had.

*chuckle*

Mozilla man accuses Jobs of 'bypass the web' scheme

Bilgepipe

Rejected

"if an app crashes or so much as "exhibits a bug" – yes, exhibits a bug – it will be rejected as well."

Ahh, there's this guys problem right there - Firefox would never make it to the App Store.

TomTom adds Star Wars voices to iPhone app

Bilgepipe
FAIL

My Grumpy Pants

There speaks someone who doesn't have a rubber chicken in his office. Lighten up, dude, it's a bit of fun.

Apple leaks 'Back to Mac' goodies

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Fail

The forums are not actually visible to the public without manually typing the ID numbers into the URL, so Apple didn't exactly "leak" anything. The forums are hidden.

Jobs dubs Google's 'open' Android speak 'disingenuous'

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Imbecile

"Keeping things so closed has worked so well with market share in competition with Windows, so we need to repeat this again with Google.

Perhaps you will end up with more than 5% of the market this time, or most likely: NOT!"

Market share != quality. By your primary-school thinking, BMW, Rolex, Mercedes, Aston Martin, etc etc are all shite? You stick to your lowest common denominator, thanks, I'll stick to high-quality, low-market share, and be happier for it.

It stinks of anti-Apple-tards around here this morning.

Google Android chief smacks Steve Jobs with Linux speak

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Open

Hey, let's all make funny terminal commands.

ls /Users/Google/IncomingLawsuits

The ability to compile Android - and hence it's "openness" - isn't relevant to the majority of end users, only geeks and 'tards who can't afford an iPhone.

This fabled "openness" is resulting on peoples identities and personal data being spread around the Internet by this wonderful Grail of Open Source and it's security-free app store. I'll take the satanic walled garden, thanks.

Was Ozzie's head in the clouds as rivals stole his role?

Bilgepipe

No-one

"That makes this a healthy change for Microsoft, though it raises the question of who is the person of vision who can guide this huge company's strategy?"

There isn't anyone. Ballmer is more worried about his competitors' products than his own, and is little more than a snake oil salesman. The old, successful combination of Paul Allen and Bill Gates - i.e. tech & business - is long gone, and it isn't coming back.

Gates, despite *not* being the visionary people claim, saw this coming a long time ago.

Keep your PC clean - or we'll shut you down

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Microsoft?

As Windows is almost exclusively the root cause behind this problem, when can we expect to see Microsoft brought to account for the untold damage their shoddy products have caused over the past twenty plus years?

Car manufacturers, vacuum cleaner makers, just about everyone else has to act when their products are found to be demonstrably unfit for purpose - why not software suppliers?

Microsoft loses chief software architect Ray Ozzie

Bilgepipe
WTF?

What can possibly go wrong?

The world's biggest software company doesn't need a Chief Software Architect? So what was Gates doing in the role all that time?

Facebook gets poked in latest privacy gaffe

Bilgepipe

Yes but...

Yes, but the complexity of Failbooks privacy settings are geared towards users being unable to understand them, and therefore set them effectively. Defaults are all open, and the site relies on users' inability to understand the implications of that.

It's not blown out of proportion, this goes right to the fundamental way the site is designed and operated.

Bilgepipe
FAIL

And So It Begins

This is why I swore I'd never sign into Failbook ever again after spending about a day looking at it. Not only is it obvious that farming of personal data is what the site was created for, but it looked like a privacy/security failure waiting to happen.

Hopefully this event will trigger a backlash against the assault on privacy that sites like Farcebook have been leading for some time. Sadly, with users already too stupid to see what's going on in front of their faces, with their own personal details, I somehow doubt it.

Where's the Evil Zuckerberk icon?

Dead baby taunting troll feels wrath of law

Bilgepipe
Troll

Lessons to be Learned

There's a lesson, there. Don't go around insulting people on the internet "anonymously" because it'll come back and bite you on the *rse. You bastards.

OOo's put the willies up Microsoft

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Typical

"Microsoft is trying to convince customers who have fled the company’s Office software in favour of an open source alternative to return to the proprietary flock by publicly dissing its rival."

Typical MS tactics. Why not just make a better product and let it speak for itself? Oh, that's right, they *can't* make a better product.

Facebook dismisses Ceglia lawsuit as 'scam'

Bilgepipe

Retaliation

Facebook should just raid his account and sell off his personal details in retaliation.

Oh, wait, they probably already have.

Germans develop sleepy-driver car 'warning' system

Bilgepipe

Awesome

Best article ever.

Mozilla foot soldiers unleash 'Army of Awesome' on Twitter

Bilgepipe

Or...

Or "wtf where has all ram gone?"

As for Admin privileges, just use Portal Firefox. Or preferable Portable Chrome. Job done.

MS pledges Windows Phone 7 '1.1' update early 2011

Bilgepipe

Unfinished

So it's not finished, then, at launch. Should go well.