* Posts by Bilgepipe

850 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Jul 2009

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iPhone saves woman from bear

Bilgepipe

Clippy?

WinMo phone - "It looks like you're trying to eat a human - would you like help with that?"

Lloyds TSB's online banking system shows no love for Firefox

Bilgepipe

Eh?

People still bank with Lloyds TSB?

Twitter tells twitterers 'don't go changing'

Bilgepipe

@Matt 89

I can't speak for Grease Monkey, but personally I'm tired of Twitter being pasted across every other form of (real) media. It might not be doing harm, but it sure is annoying.

Having said that I came in here to read both this article and its comments, so I only have myself to blame....

Opera takes Unite for spin with browser beta release

Bilgepipe

Title

I've always liked Opera, and only it's incompatibilities stop me using it, but I'm really not sure about this Unite thing. One tiny flaw and who-knows-what is published across the web. And with my crappy upload speeds, it would be impractical anyway.

Get your browser compatible first, then start of extras like this.

T-Mobile takes on patsy role in Microsoft Sidekick fallout

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Remuneration

Hopefully T-Mobile can recoup this expense from Microsoft. It should come out of Steve Ballmer's pie budget. There is no excuse for this farce, and it's unacceptable that T-Mobile should take all the flak for it.

Liquid electrocar batteries could be replaced at pumps

Bilgepipe

Consistencey

As long as they pick an approach that is used consistently - I don't want to roll into a fuel station only to hear "sorry mate, we don't do those batteries..."

Snow Leopard data-munching bug predates Snow Leopard

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Backups?

So none of these guys had backups of any kind? My heart bleeds. If a bolt of lightning had fried their home directories, who would they blame then?

Moon orbiter detects pole-plunge hotspots in dark bottom

Bilgepipe

@Brutus

I didn't think it was going to fail, I was dissing the fact that the exciting results so far have been "we created heat." Don't you think that heat from an impact like that is pretty predictable? Or are you just too smart for that?

Bilgepipe
Flame

No Sh*t, Sherlock

NASA: LCROSS may have caused 'significant heating'

Gee, I wonder if, say, some kind of impact or explosion could have caused this unexpected heating?

Christ, how much do they pay these people?

Proles told to get online to save economy

Bilgepipe
WTF?

What?

£22bn can be generated by people talking to each other online? She thinks lifetime earnings can increase over £10,000 just by being online? Only if we can all start some dumbassed cheap-o holiday website, perhaps. The woman is delusional.

Please carry on and drop digitally inclusive storylines into Eastenders, though, it can only improve the show after all...

WikiReader feeds you factiness on the go

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Shape?

Couldn't they make a square one? Or for that matter, one that doesn't look like something from 1973?

I'm pretty sure I'll pass on this...

Hacker springs latest iPhone OS from Jobsian jail

Bilgepipe
Jobs Halo

@Annihilator

The problem is not with the phone, otherwise everyone would suffer the same issue, wouldn't they? Perhaps you need a better O/S....

Microsoft yawns at Google's chillerless data center antidote

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Danger/Sidekick?

"These infrastructures that we run - and that Google does too - are so large, you can't really rely on individuals to manually make these decisions on an application failing-over from one [data center] site to another. Essentially, it all has to be built into automation software that makes these types of decisions."

Were you using all that to store T-Mobile Sidekick customers' data?

Didn't think so....

Windows 7, Bing and mobile will determine Ballmer's future

Bilgepipe
Jobs Halo

Ballmer = Idiot

As an Apple user I don't really give a monkey's what Ballmer does. But his problem is focusing on his competitors. Sinking billions into Bing just so he can "kill Google?" That's not the action of a competent businessman. And his buffoonery and stupidity (his iPhone comments are classic) are embarrassing to watch.

Historically, with no real competition, MS have never had to produce a quality product, resulting in shoddy, mediocre offerings. Now their products have to stand up against true competition their poor quality shows - and Ballmer is the wrong guy to correct that.

Microsoft: we make partners' lives too complicated

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Customers?

"Microsoft: we make partners' lives too complicated"

You do pretty much the same for your customers, too. I say "customer" as in "someone forced to use your products."

Amazon eyes wander as Royal Mail strike looms

Bilgepipe
Unhappy

Doomed

The Unions will be the death of the Royal Mail. Those fools are playing right into the hands of a Government desperate to get rid of it.

Murderous Brazilian crime show host does a runner

Bilgepipe

Turning In

"His lawyer has been in touch and he is looking for a way to turn himself in."

Perhaps he should try walking into a Police Station...?

Beeb unveils new Doctor Who logo

Bilgepipe

RTD

"Who fans may find the fact that Russell T Davies co-wrote the episode a chilling enough prospect."

Great, more fart jokes.

US court says software is owned, not licensed

Bilgepipe

Interesting.

This could have wide-reaching consequences for software, then. Or it could just be that Autodesks crappy license wasn't well-worded or thought-out.

Royal Mail lawyers demand closure of postcode lookup site

Bilgepipe

@Jelliphiish

"post codes aren't public domain info? how the hell did the RM swing the ownership on that?"

They created them, therefore they own them. They are certainly not public domain.

10,000 Hotmail passwords mysteriously leaked to web

Bilgepipe
Pint

Handy List

This makes a handy list of people daft enough to fall for a phishing scam, if nothing else.

MS plasters Ballmer's signature on Windows 7 special edition

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Chairs?

I want a Steve Ballmer Limited Edition Signature Damaged Chair.

Report: Apple snagged Google Maps rival

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

@AC 08:22

"The same people who need a compass on a phone are probably still in denial about Clarks Commandos no longer being made. If you need one to tell you where your friends are then maybe they are hiding from you and the house brick iBling you are carrying."

Pointless post. Sad. Very sad.

Back on topic, while Android might be doing well, I can't see Chrome OS becoming that huge a competitor to full-blown OSs. Apple are just ensuring that they don't rely on a competitor as part of their business.

Microsoft's web world shrinks

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Rounding Error

Ballmer was calling Safari's market share a "rounding error" again the other day. I wonder how he describes IE's loss?

Microsoft rubberstamps Windows XP Mode

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Windows 7....

That explains the version number. Windows 7...so good you still need Windows from 7 years ago.

iPod nano busted for upskirting

Bilgepipe

@Fab De Marco

"Apple continue to advertise their products in a way that will not reflect the end user experience."

And so does every other product advertisement under the sun.

RIM syncs Macs with BlackBerries

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

@AC 11:52

"Their mistake is having anything whatsoever to do with crApple in the first place when it's the most anti-competitive company on Earth (yes, more so than Microsoft even, by a longshot)."

Yawn. You anti-Apple-tards keep wheeling this one out every time. You know, just because you keep saying something over and over again doesn't make it true. Your assertion that Apple are more anti-competitive than Microsoft proves you have no clue what you are talking about. Hey... are you Steve Ballmer?

RIM are probably using the iTunes XML database for syncing - XML, of course, being that closed, anti-competitive data file format that no-one but Apple uses.

Microsoft Security Essentials shakes up consumer antivirus

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Looks lovely

Nice to see Microsoft creating yet another UI standard.

Think I'll stick to AVG.

MS dual-screen tablet to arrive next year?

Bilgepipe

Late Prototype?

I still see nothing but a CGI rendering, not a prototype. I have a rendering of the Starship Enterprise, does that make it a late prototype?

@alistair millington: If Asus did one of these, it would drop in half as soon as you opened it. Apple will make a tablet work, all the others will be shite.

Palm Pre backs away from Apple iTunes

Bilgepipe
Jobs Halo

@Albert

"Locking competitors out of the iTunes store when it is the dominant music download store in the market is anti-competitive."

No it isn't. There are many other sources for purchasing music. Check your dictionary for "anti-competitive" before posting.

Also check the dictionary for "fool" - you'll find a picture of Bill Gould.

Windows Home Server upgrade recedes into the distance

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Why Bother

Just use Red Had Linux and Amahi - all free, available now and less sucky than Windows.

Stallman backpedals on Mac OS backdoor claims

Bilgepipe
Black Helicopters

Yawn

"Stallman's privacy concerns are such that he avoids using mobiles in general."

Following on from that, he presumably doesn't shop at supermarkets, doesn't use a credit or debit card, doesn't take utilities such as water or electricity, doesn't pay taxes, doesn't have internet access, and a whole host of other privacy-busting activities.

If he's that worried about an iTunes upgrade, perhaps he should be living in a cave, in case "They" come and get him.

Vodafone joins the iPhone throng

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Yawn

Why do so many people post that they'll never own an iPhone? Do they think anyone cares?

Ballmer says Big Blue hands in too few pies

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Dear Steve Ballmer

Dear Steve Ballmer,

Please shut up.

Yours,

everyone in the world.

Apple's move to kill Hackintosher suit denied

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Im a Psystar

I'm wearing a black-and-white striped shirt, a black beret and an eye mask, and I have a SWAG bag over my shoulder.

I'm a Psystar.

Swedish military combustobra: Jubtastic snap

Bilgepipe

Hah

This is the funniest thing ever.

Geordi LaForge video-to-brain rig built at MIT

Bilgepipe
Headmaster

Ahh yes

"microfabricated polyimide stimulating electrode array with sputtered iridium oxide electrodes"

Ahh yes, they used the old sputtered iridium oxide trick - exactly what I would have done.

There's water on the Moon, scientists confirm

Bilgepipe
Joke

Sting

Didn't Sting and The Police sing about this years ago?

Cops cuff Mafia Don's crocodile enforcer

Bilgepipe
Welcome

Walked Right In

"The powers that be are unsure how it got to Italy."

It probably just marched right in - I wouldn't try and stop the damn thing....

Microsoft mobiles spied online?

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Hmmm

I see more CGI renders of theoretical products, but like the tablet "leaked" earlier this week there's no evidence these actually exist outside of a few drawings. And if they'll run WinMo, they'll automatically suck.

Bank sues Google for identity of Gmail user

Bilgepipe

Real Account?

I wonder if they are sure it's even a real account? What happens if you send an email to a Gmail account that doesn't exist, do you get a "Can't deliver" server response?

Google's response to the court order might well be "no-one."

Dual-screen Microsoft 'booklet' uncovered

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

I doubt it

Nice 3D renders, but I doubt this exists in any form other than that - pictures. Just looks like more Microsoft spoiler tactics to me, "leaking" a product that will never be made.

And even if it did exist, wouldn't you need three hands to operate it?

Bureaucrat behind bars for creating 1,400 fake kids

Bilgepipe
WTF?

Huh?

"Agdomar was also charged with abusing his position of trust within the civil service."

Position of /what/ in the Civil Service? That's a bit of a non sequitur....

Citroën redesigns the 2CV

Bilgepipe
FAIL

Psymon

Not only is your post offensively sexist, but it also indicates that you probably drive like a moron. Well done.

Apple iPod Nano 5G

Bilgepipe

@AC @12:51

You can tag audio tracks to do this in iTunes. I did this when I downloaded some audiobooks as MP3s.

Street View prowls Outer Hebrides

Bilgepipe
Black Helicopters

Sure?

I can't see a Google logo on the side of that, and the camera looks different. And don't Google usually use Vauxhalls in the UK? I sense inaccuracy...

Black Helicopter, just in case Google come after me for knowing too much.

Machine rebellion begins: Killer robot destroyed by US jet

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Clippy?

"It looks as if you're trying to shoot some insurgents. Would you like some help with that?"

Or...

"The program ObeyHumanOverlords.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close..."

Cyclists give TV chef a Wikikicking

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Quite right too

And his coffee grinder is a cheap piece of crap, too.

Microsoft purges AutoRun from older Windows

Bilgepipe
FAIL

A little bit late...

Didn't this horse bolt in, like, 1996? Next up from Microsoft, servicing your Austin Allegro...

Tomorrow's World comes back to the future

Bilgepipe
Gates Horns

Mobile Phone

I bet that "mobile phone" gets better coverage than, say, O2, to pick a random telco.

Or Orange.

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