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* Posts by Platelet

93 posts • joined 13 Jul 2009

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Apple Watch will CONQUER smartwatch world – analysts

Platelet

What suprised me is

It's a bit ugly

I expected better from Apple to be honest

8
1

Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Platelet
Alien

90%

I'm assuming he's accounting for the darknet that exists inside dark matter and runs on dark energy. Easy to see how that would round up to 90%

1
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RBS Group hopes £750m IT shakeup splurge will prevent next bank mainframe meltdown

Platelet

Re: FFS

"Taking people that have no history of computer use, who grew up 100s of miles from the nearest PC, and whose entire family line were small holding farmers, and putting them in charge of your global IT infrastructure cannot end well."

That's a very harsh description of the Scottish population

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FCC seeks $48K fine from mobile phone-jamming driver

Platelet

Re: Decision time?

"Disabling the radio in a phone moving over 30kph would prevent the phone from being used on the bus/train/etc."

Perfect

1
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Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Platelet
Terminator

Damn you. God damn you all to hell.

This will not end well

7
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MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies

Platelet

The politicos said that grumble flick websites should require a credit card

Yeah let's encourage people to hand over their credit card details to pornographers, what could possibly go wrong?

25
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Eight hour cleansing to get all the 'faggots' and 'bitches' OUT of Github

Platelet

Re: Wait....Github?

"Aren't they a cesspool of female exploitation or something? I'm sure I read that recently."

They discriminate against those that are differently abled, specifically those lacking the ability to use a hula hoop

0
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Gamers in a flap as Vietnamese dev pulls Flappy Bird

Platelet

Re: Won't uninstall, help...

"In addition my ram is turning mauve."

I'd try penicillin for that

0
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The internet is 'a gift from God' says Pope Francis

Platelet
Devil

Re: Pope in believing in God shocker

God invented the internet

The Devil added the porn

Man liked the porn

Man made the internet faster

2
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Vultures circle to feast on carcass of free remote desktop service LogMeIn

Platelet

Teamviewer

I've always used the free version of teamviewer. It allowed more than the logmein free version did at the time I tried it (maybe file transfers or some such can't really remember)

4
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James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

Platelet
Pint

Re: Hello doctors

"Fiction alert! We have this thing called "fiction", which means that people make up stories right out of their imagination."

Doctors produce fiction as well.

Richard Smith, a member of the Royal College of Physicians working party that produced the recommendations, told the paper the limits were prompted by “a feeling that you had to say something”.

http://metro.co.uk/2007/10/20/government-guessed-alcohol-limits-340800/

3
0

Android nasty sends your texts to CHINA

Platelet

Re: Last week I chose between an Android phone and a Q5

Why not get a "nothing at all"?

It has all the features of a Q5 without any of the drawbacks, and as a bonus zero chance of infection

3
1

Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction

Platelet
Alien

Re: I hear Blakes 7 is being made again. It could be so cool, but I bet it won't be.)

Hey they did a bang up job with the Tomorrow People reboot

0
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Platelet

Re: I don't know which are the bigger whores in this story.

I blame the punters who bought the story

0
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Platelet
Childcatcher

Re: I don't think there's any overlap between Whovians and 1dimensionals.

Then your girls will be especially happy to watch the Doctor Who After party next Saturday which will have some "surprise" gatecrashers

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2013/doctor-who-after-party.html

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Staying power: The small screen spans of the eleven Doctor Whos

Platelet

Re: Pardon the pedantry...

Nope just

Doctors

0
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Platelet

Re: Worst infographic EVER

If you want the key, buy the book

0
0

New Terminator-style 'bots can self-assemble, leap, climb and SWARM

Platelet

Re: A witch! A witch!

In the interests of historical accuracy - how many of the witnesses would they drown, and was it everyone who had seen the witches or only those who gave evidence?

0
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BT doles out measly 2GB to customers in Dropbox-alike BT Cloud

Platelet

Re: My first hard drive..

Right.

I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, I had to back my data up with parchment and a quill

1
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Cisco and iRobot build videoconferencing robot for remote workers

Platelet

Seen this somewhere before

http://www.dilbert.com/2013-04-04/

0
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Impoverished net user slams 'disgusting' quid-a-day hack

Platelet

Re: Bloody luxury.

You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.

0
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Bill Gates offends Koreans after sticking hand down trousers

Platelet

Re: That title is VERY misleading...

or

Worst Korea

0
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Cameron defends U-turn on web filth ban, leaves filtering to parents

Platelet

adviser on preventing sexualisation and commercialisation of childhood.

maybe MP Claire Perry can focus on getting a ban on the Mail's handy "All Grown Up" tag.

7
0

Instagram back-pedals in face of user outrage

Platelet
Alien

All your users are belong to someone else

Mechanic: Somebody set up us the T&Cs.

Operator: Instaport turn on.

Zuckerberg: All your photo are belong to us.

Zuckerberg: You have no chance to survive make me profit.

Captain: Move Flickr.

Captain: For great justice.

4
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Judge: There'll be no US Samsung ban, BUT no new trial with Apple either

Platelet
WTF?

it should have pursued those issues during the voir dire part of jury selection

But according to:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/25/samsung_new_trial_attempt/ :

"Samsung attached a portion of the jury selection process in which Hogan promises he can set aside his own understanding of patents and only use the judge's interpretation of the law and her instructions. But after the trial, Hogan and other jurors who gave interviews said that his experience helped them come to their decision"

So if he lied during voir dire how is that Samsungs fault?

21
2

US Army demos first robot Black Hawk helicopter

Platelet
Terminator

Re: RASCAL

Should have called it HK-Aerial

0
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Apple tries to add Galaxy Note, Jelly Bean to patent slapfest

Platelet

Re: If I were Judge Koh?

I'd just ban the sale of all Apple & Samsung products in the US until they grow up / settle out of court

2
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We don’t talk any more... on the commute

Platelet

“Is this the train to Faversham?”

I've found the simple answer to avoid embarassment is

"No".

0
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Petition for Alan Turing on £10 note breaks 20,000 signatures

Platelet

Re: "Richard Branson"

Indeed, and how do we register the "public offence" this inclusion causes?

1
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No GPS in the iPad Mini Wi-Fi: People are right to criticise

Platelet

it also shows that the firm has an ... opinion of its customers' tech savvy

I think the article confuses insultingly poor with accurate

13
1

WHITE WHALE spent 4 years trying to tell us something, then stopped

Platelet

Re: Best get those scientists out there to do their research

Dolphin is much tastier

0
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NSW public servant's email hacked, used to criticise leader

Platelet

Yeah, if only someone would invent some form of portable device that allows you access to email whilst out of the office they would make a killing

5
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Sky staffer plundered database to benefit naughty false firms

Platelet

Re: Criminal Charges?

Civil at the moment. the TL:DR version ends with:

It follows from my findings in relation to Mr Freeman, Mr Sullivan, Mr Marrow and Mr Steele that the papers in this case should be referred to the Director of Public Prosecutions with a view to any criminal proceedings against one or more of those persons that he might feel are appropriate

4
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Platelet

Judge was a little on the cold side

"Mr Waters' reliance on his medical condition to excuse him from responsibility ... and to explain his inability to participate at the trial ... was, on his own evidence, greatly exaggerated"

"After I had completed drafting most of this judgment, including in particular the section dealing with Mr Waters, I was informed that Mr Waters had died"

"I would merely observe that the causes of his death shown on his death certificate... seem at odds with the conditions which Mr Waters said that he suffered from at an earlier stage of these proceedings"

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BBC's Incurious George vows to 'calibrate systems' after Savile affair

Platelet

Entwistle had failed to enquire, or ask others to enquire

The fact that he needed to know was not known at the time that the now known need to know was known, and therefore those that needed to advise and inform him perhaps felt that the information that he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known, and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not, at that time, known or needed

2
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Barley’s giant genome sequenced and open-sourced

Platelet
Pint

Better Beer?

Or just better than Australian beer?

3
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13-inch 'Retina Display' MacBook Pro to uncloak next Tuesday?

Platelet

or whatever that shrunken fondleslab may be dubbed.

How about the iNexus 7?

0
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GIANT EYEBALL PANIC ends: Oceanic peeper identified

Platelet

Re: Hahaha. What a guess.

but then the original El Reg article suggested "A swordfish is one possibility, since they are widely fished in the area, and a squid has also been mooted"

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/12/florida_giant_eyeball/

0
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Second LulzSec member pleads guilty to Sony hack

Platelet

Re: A name-change required?

GrassMyAss

3
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Sky support dubs Germany 'Hitler's country'

Platelet

El Reg "seems to share the view that Germany is still ..."

"The EU prevented Germans invading anyone for record period..."

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/10/12/european_union_wins_the_2012_nobel_peace_prize/

Maybe El' Reg can offer Abbas a job?

0
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Rover spots 'possibly artificial' MYSTERY SHINY OBJECT on Mars

Platelet
Terminator

Every bit of kit I’ve ever owned has had a spare screw left over, It’s nice to see that Curiosity is no different.

0
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NSW gives Technologies curriculum a 'D'

Platelet
Pint

... ensuring Australia has the skilled IT people it will need!

Does it cover the differences between pouring guinness and pouring lager?

0
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Half of Milky Way's mass found in million-Kelvin gas cloud

Platelet
Alien

Re: So what effect does this discovery have upon Omega?

Last I remember he was trapped in the anti matter universe

0
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Latest iPhone hacked to blab all your secrets

Platelet
Gimp

There is no vulnerability

They were simply holding it wrong

14
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Who queues for an iPhone 5? Protesters, hipsters and the jobless

Platelet
Coat

open a bakery for retraining vulnerable women.

Because once they know how to bake they're less likely to get?

0
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BT gets postcode knickers in twist, plants Shoreditch on Mount Everest

Platelet

I've noticed quite a few mapping tools don't equate the whole of the world with London

Ifyou type in N1 UK rather than N1 it should work fine.

1
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BBC dishes out fanboi-only telly downloads ahead of ITV plans

Platelet
Happy

Re: "content"? discontent

radiodownloader + dropbox + foldersync lite

0
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iPhone 5 wait drives record Samsung smartphone sales

Platelet
Joke

Re: Nonsense fake numbers...

I suspect a Topper Hijack attempt

http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2012-09-02/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+dilbert%2Fdaily_strip+%28Dilbert+Daily+Strip+-+UU%29

4
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New deals for Virgin Sim punters

Platelet

FUP

So what are the fair use limitations on the truely unlimited data then?

1
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Mars rover will.i.am 'cast: A depressing day for space and technology

Platelet
Terminator

Re: In this article...

"a publicity stunt designed to generate more interest in the mission from children"

but It's a robot; on Mars; with laser cannons

Do they really need to pimp their rover to grab kids attention?

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