* Posts by hplasm

3074 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Hawking and friends: Artificial Intelligence 'must do what we want it to do'

hplasm
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Devil

Re: Question for people here smarter than me...

"A self aware car might crash because it was day dreaming about flowers."

We've got people for that already.

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French Google fund to pay for 1 million print run of Charlie Hebdo next week

hplasm
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Flame

So-

"I wonder who is behind this post?"

Internet Tough Guy. They love basking in someone else's anything.

Je suis Charlie.

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MI5 boss: We NEED to break securo-tech, get 'assistance' from data-slurp firms

hplasm
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Meh

Want to pry?

Get a warrant.

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Intel offers big bucks for black women

hplasm
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Re: surely this is discrimination?

"In other words, the makeup of any company's workforce will tend to reflect the makeup of the applicants for its jobs."

This.

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Get your special 'sound-optimising' storage here, hipsters

hplasm
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Happy

Re: I'll see your audiophile cat 5 and raise you

Is that the same air as between the audiophool's ears?

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ALIEN EARTH: Red sun's habitable world spotted 470 light years away

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Hmmm

"...to determine that they are statistically likely to be planets."

i know some people that this might include by accident...

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Microsoft flings Office apps for Android slabs at world+dog

hplasm
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Meh

They keep finging-

Hoping some will stick...

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Ex-Microsoft Bug Bounty dev forced to decrypt laptop for Paris airport official

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Not a problem

pah!

sudo apt-get install boomex.

sudo ./boomex

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I'm sooooo green: The Beginner's Guide to Krautrock

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Love it..

First time I tried to get Kraftwerk tickets (Free Trade Hall, IIRC) the gig was cancelled due to poor demand.

The next time, and ever after, they have sold out in seconds. Grr.

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SpaceX six days from historic rocket landing attempt

hplasm
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Happy

Re: In world where news is mostly Celebs..

"Never heard the expression "glass half empty", did you..."

Glass too big. This is a tech site, after all...

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El Reg tests portable breathalyzers: Getting drunk so you don't have to

hplasm
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Whys the rum ALWAYS gone?!?!

Happy New Year to all and sundry!!

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Office MACROS PERIL! Age-old VBScript tactic is BACK in biz attack

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: Bullshit

"My whole company administration is automated through VBA. "

You say that with pride?

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Freedom of Info at 10: Tony Blair's WORST NIGHTMARE

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Why?

"He thinks he's a nincompoop..."

Which show he wasn't always wrong.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: The long-ago geek gifts that made us what we are

hplasm
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Re: What that stationary Mamod steam engine needed was...

A bit like this?:-

http://www.crabfu.com/steamtoys/

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Who wants SLEEP DEPRIVATION for Christmas?

hplasm
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Facepalm

Well, we're all doomed now.

From the BBC article, the egregious phrase:-

"But there has been growing concern about the dangers of light before bedtime."

Dangers. Of light. FFS!

Get our asses to Mars. Don't let any alarmist fuckwits come.

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GCHQ: We can't track crims any more thanks to Snowden

hplasm
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Joke

Re: So

Dimunition- two bullets, one to the body one to the head.

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Welsh council rapped for covert spying on sick leave worker

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: A Morons perspective

"If that makes me a moron then I'm happy to be one."

Most morons are.

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V. R. R. Stob's magnificent saga A Game Of Dog-and-Bones

hplasm
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There should be a Prize

For this work alone!!

Brilliant!

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ESA: Venus probe doomed to fiery death on weird planet's surface

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Crazy ideas...

"Or could the slowdown be a countdown to another resurfacing event?"

Easy to check - look for cones...

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Microsoft says to expect AWESOME things of Windows 10 in January

hplasm
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Facepalm

Re: High school adjectives for business solutions

$50 for another version of the Horse-Drawn Aeroplane?

Don't make me laugh...

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NASA asks world+dog to name Mercury's craters (back off, 4chan)

hplasm
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Happy

Banks?

I or I.M

or both?

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30,000 people buy a box of BOVINE EXCREMENT

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Ronseal -

"Non-UK readers might not get that reference."

True, but they can Bing it...

(ack! Sorry...)

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hplasm
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Happy

Ronseal -

The Next Generation...

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FATTIES: Boffins say their miracle sunshine skin cream 'prevents obesity'

hplasm
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Happy

Re: dammit

Death of Rats? It is you- It IS you! Oh bless the maker...!

What's that you have? Looks like a Polytron to me...a really BIG one.

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Bong Ventures LLC: We've been cyberhacked

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Pandora's box

I have a strange, heavy feeling, that all this is based on truth...

Like 'Yes, Minister' was a 'just' comedy show.

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: It was named after the explorer Juan Ponce de León

"I wonder how many lasers can be powered with 1.21 jigawatts"

Just one. But it's a big bastard.

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Microsoft opens Azure cloud to US govt for vid surveillance, etc

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Hypocrisy?

It's only fair- now World + Dog has open access to USG files...

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Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

hplasm
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Happy

Celebrity Deathmatch

John Holmes vs Mary Whitehouse.

Mary Millington vs Mary Poppins.

Weapons optional.

Discuss...

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Keep your court orders to YOURSELF – human rights chief slaps US

hplasm
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Megaphone

Re: @lucki bstard Gottalottaballs here...

I'm Brian, and so is my wife!

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NASA prods sleeping New Horizons spacecraft: Wakey, wakey, Pluto's calling

hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: PLUTO.......Planet, planetoid, Celestial Body or what?

It is and always will be, a FUCKING PLANET.

There, was that so hard?

IAU thought so, and were summary demoted to non-boffins

Harvard think not...eager to gain the boffin badge:-

http://www.theguardian.com/science/shortcuts/2014/oct/05/galaxys-guardians-make-the-case-upgrade-pluto-back-to-planet-size

suck on it, Plutoists!

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Parliament: All's well with RIPA snooping, no problem here

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: UK Politics

We'll need to borrow the great wall of China, assuming all Five-Eyes countries are involved.

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Quantum computing is so powerful it takes two years to understand what happened

hplasm
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Re: Bitcoin?

Mine one- mine them all at the same time.

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ESA finds FOURTH comet touchdown for Philae lander

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Was Philae able to stabilize itself in any way?

"...how the hell did it happen to land shiny side up? Pure luck? Alien intervention?"

Buttered Cat module....

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E-cigarettes fingered as source of NASTY VIRUS

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Let's sum it up

Completely OT-

A personal vaporizer. If no flying cars, then zap guns!

If you can charge them via USB, even better!

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systemd row ends with Debian getting forked

hplasm
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FAIL

Re: What is systemd

"Poettering complained that the "Open source community is full of assholes, and I probably more than most others am one.""

There. Fixed.

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Holy sh*t! Amsterdam man in pop-up public toilet shock horror

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Daft design

As I understand it, the loos rise from their underground lairs as the sun sets, ready for the onslaught of the nocturnal pissants, and return to their stinky pits in the morning.

They were considered for the UK, but the concept was presumably too complicated for the average UK bladder-wielder.

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I'll be back (and forward): Hollywood's time travel tribulations

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The glaring philosophical issues of time travel

"And if I ask Alice+7 for her personal perspective..."

But Alice+7 would say- "You asked me about this last week!" And Alice +14 would say "Oh not again!" and hit you with a pan.

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Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

hplasm
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Coat

Re: 5 mW?

He no drunk, he Il.

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Let's vote on breaking up Google, say MEPs with NO power to do any such thing

hplasm
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Megaphone

How about-

Let's vote on breaking up the EU gravy train?

(NOT a Kipper)

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'Snoopers' Charter IS DEAD', Lib Dems claim as party waves through IP address-matching

hplasm
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Childcatcher

Re: Blind leading the blind

"Never mind that she also appears to be the daughter of Wurzel Gummidge."

Ms May IS Emperor Palpatine. The photo in the article proves it.

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I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: If you want real brand-name-association,

Achtung!

Untrained

Driver

Inside

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Windows Phone will snatch biz No 2 spot from Android – analyst

hplasm
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Meh

I can smell something...

Has somebody opened a cow?

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Roll up, roll up, Microsoft's rolled up dozens of OS fixes

hplasm
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Happy

Re: Microsoft's just released its November rollup

"odd...I got it a few days ago."

That's due to a bug...

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FORGET the CLIMATE: FATTIES are a MUCH BIGGER problem - study

hplasm
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Happy

Re: NBA - National Butty Association

"...but ye cannae tak' our fried goods!"

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Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

hplasm
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Happy

"4. The cupboard under the stairs."

Why- Are you keeping a young wizard in there?

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Hackers seize Detroit's database, demand $800k. Motor City shrugs: OK, take it

hplasm
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Joke

Re: Anyone seen "Burn After Reading" ?

Burn after Reading - label on festival tents.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

FTA...

"...the state's Cyber Civilian Corp (IT experts trained in security incident response) would be expanded to a dozen teams..."

From no teams, at present.

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CERN's 2014 Xmas gift from the Large Hadron Collider: Two new baryons

hplasm
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Happy

Re: What do they do?

You mean, of course- can they power a flying car?

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London police chief: City bankers, prepare for a terrorist cyber attack. Again

hplasm
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Coat

Simple-

Dont use ISIS- move to OSPF or EIGRP...

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Microsoft: Your Linux Docker containers are now OURS to command

hplasm
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Meh

Coming soon-

How to control your multi-colour newspaper printing plant with a Petite typewriter.

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