* Posts by hplasm

4013 posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Microsoft rethinks the Windows application platform one more time

hplasm
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Windows

Re: Learning or just trying a different push??

"Very nice, but there are 99 Windows customers for every Linux customer."

Linux has users. Windows has customers, and one is born every minute.

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hplasm
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Facepalm

Win10 Snakes and Ladders

And....down the backwards-compatibility snake we go. Into a nest of vipers.

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That naked picture on my PC? Not mine. The IT guy put it there

This post has been deleted by a moderator

London to Dover 'smart' road could help make driverless cars mainstream – expert

hplasm
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Happy

Re: better start

The M25 would be a great start - get rid of all of the drivers!

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Ubuntu plugs code exec, DoS Linux kernel holes

hplasm
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Devil

Re: The only constant is change

"...improvements to systemd..."

You mean- it's gone?

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There's oil in that thar … Chinese space probe?

hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: Another idea.

You want a rain of shit?

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Florida weed suspect cuffed after hoverboard pursuit

hplasm
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Flame

Go faster!

Or just burst into flames!! Go on!!! Oh, sod it...

<jumps off, runs> Lack of ---->

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Humans get 'aroused' fondling robots in their private areas – study

hplasm
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Happy

Robophiles?

Cyberpaedos.

Now to get the Trrrrrrsts on board for the set!

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Microsoft lures top Linux exec from Oracle to Redmond

hplasm
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Holmes

Re: Actually, not quite the case

"So if those central servers went down, then it would very quickly become impossible to bring up a new Windows computer."

Karma. Not pretty.

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Microsoft smells Musk, splashes on 'Mune' space program

hplasm
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WTF?

MS enters orbit-

- Time for a much thicker tinfoil hat!

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Woman scales Ben Nevis wielding selfie stick instead of ice axe

hplasm
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Meh

Re: Fucking moron

"She should have been charged for the time and resources of all rescue services involved on a punitive tariff."

She was: £0

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Furious English villagers force council climbdown over Satan's stone booty

hplasm
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Coat

Re: Rock? That's not a rock.

"Depends how far it extends underground..."

It's the tip of an underground rockberg!

(rockrock??? hmmm...)

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Microsoft cracks open Visual Studio to Linux C++ coders

hplasm
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Alert

May I just be the first to say...

IT'S A TRAP!

Thanks.

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Adblock wins in court again – this time against German newspaper

hplasm
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Coat

"Turn it off when you're not using it...."

Can't. It's trying to update to Win 10...

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Bash on Windows. Repeat, Microsoft demos Bash on Windows

hplasm
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Windows

Re: This isn't Nan friendly

"Fortunately Windows has a proper ACL model that can deny even the "root" user from being able to delete critical files..."

The ones that override the security and update settings?

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hplasm
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Angel

Re: How is this different?

"...you just download the same binary as anyone else running Ubuntu, and it will run on your machine."

Does it run the Ubuntu installer? Oh good!

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hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Keep going

"Yeah, sure, that must be why Windows 10 is by far the fastest adopted version of Windows ever?"

If by 'adopted' you mean finding your house full of kids you've never seen before.

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hplasm
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Linux

It means-

'Stick a fork in Windows, it's done.'

Hopefully.

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Microsoft's bigoted teen bot flirts with illegali-Tay in brief comeback

hplasm
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Meh

"You are too fast, please take a rest..."

MS slow to respond to users, as usual.

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Here's a great idea: Let's make a gun that looks like a mobile phone

hplasm
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Meh

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

". A well-armed populace employs its government instead of fearing it."

So how many guns each do you need to stop fearing your Govt? They seem to be taking the piss no matter how many guns you have.

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hplasm
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Unhappy

Re: "Absolutely no one can make sense of the United States' infatuation with firearms."

"Guns are tools on this side of the pond. Plain & simple."

Sorry Jake- It's the plain and simple Tools with Guns that are the problem on your side of the pond, not the people who need them as tools.

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Oculus Rift review-gasm round-up: The QT on VR

hplasm
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Meh

Re: He's probably right

"...what the MITS Altair was to a Windows PC."

Better?

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Surface Hub: A Howard Hughes folly, or a cunning Post It Note killer?

hplasm
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Facepalm

"... I get the feeling that I'm going to be told to buy one fairly soon."

Well, they can always get rid of some of the users to pay for it- and save the cash in not buying them PCs...

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US govt says it has cracked killer's iPhone, legs it from Apple fight

hplasm
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Happy

Re: LOL

He disguised himself as an iPhone and made friends with the TerrPhone.

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Snowden 'more helpful than dangerous' says ex-Colin Powell aide

hplasm
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Paris Hilton

Re: Now I've come close to reading everything

Oh dear, the post-op hormones are playing up, eh ex-Tank Girl?

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Computers shouldn't smoke. Cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone

hplasm
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Happy

Time Computers-

-near Blackburn?

If so you should put their comms room up for El Reg cabling madness (can't remember the exact thread) if you can get any old pictures. More of a deathtrap than a gungy PC, it was Impossible to enter and leave without at least one cable coming loose and tripping up the unwary visitor, and woe betide any attempts at putting the plug back in wherever it came from... only Indiana Jones could traverse the web of tripwires!

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Mud sticks: Microsoft, Windows 10 and reputational damage

hplasm
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Gimp

Re: Reality Check

Stockholm syndrome kicking in ok?

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hplasm
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WTF?

Re: I'll give you a clue: no, you don't. You really, really don't....

"The idea that my company needs greater OS security paranoia than a world top ten Investment Bank ...".

Hahahahhahaah!!! You've obviously never worked in a Bank's IT department...

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hplasm
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Meh

Re: So..

No, Snakes on a Plane has a certain charm...

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Microsoft did Nazi that coming: Teen girl chatbot turns into Hitler-loving sex troll in hours

hplasm
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Joke

Re: And on the other side of the world:

"...the garbage that's one English Language Literary prizes."

They can't be that bad- 'Tay' (ugh) didn't even place...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

And on the other side of the world:

http://www.digitaltrends.com/cool-tech/japanese-ai-writes-novel-passes-first-round-nationanl-literary-prize/

Good classy AI work, MS...

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Microsoft introduces yet another Skype for Windows 10

hplasm
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Happy

Re: With all the random changes of direction at Redmond-

"Does it run Hitler-loving sex-mad AI's?"

Only the NT version...

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hplasm
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Facepalm

With all the random changes of direction at Redmond-

- management meetings must look like the bridge of the Enterprise under fire, with Sadnav & Co careening off of the walls.

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Pebble axes quarter of its workers after fitness pivot

hplasm
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Unhappy

There goes Pebble-

From the best, first smartwatch to a me-too! wannabe.

It'll be running Win10 next...

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EU ministers to demand more data access after Brussels attacks

hplasm
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Facepalm

But surely...

It's not more Info they need, it's more Cops!!!

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MH-370 search loses sharpest-eyed robot deep beneath the waves

hplasm
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Alien

Re: Plane goes missing, search robot goes missing…

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!

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UK.gov kicks long awaited digi strategy into long grass, blames EU referendum

hplasm
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Big Brother

Re: Bunkum as a policy

Vaizey said he wants to the UK to become a "gigabit Britain" over the next ten years.

Which means each citizen will have a gigabit of data about them on file. At least.

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Tracy Emin dons funeral shroud, marries stone

hplasm
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Pint

Listen-!

-hear the gentle song of the mighty whale! Whooook!

Shit! Hipsters- run! Before they see the Emin...

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Your money or your life! Another hospital goes down to ransomware

hplasm
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Coat

Re: And the moral is.......?

"That said, it's harder to get much lower than attacking a hospital!"

As a Microsoft reseller? True, true...

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Canuck named as next UK privacy watchdog

hplasm
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Thumb Up

Re: Canadians slowly taking over the UK...

William Shatner for PM!

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Azure's wobbly day as three services glitch around the world

hplasm
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Meh

Re: The Cloud...

The Azure Cloud...

Somebody else's computers they have no control over.

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Clear April 12: Windows, Samba to splat curious 'crucial' Badlock bug

hplasm
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Devil

Wheatley would make better software than Microsoft

Yes, Dennis Wheatley.

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Comms 'redlining' in Brussels as explosions kill up to 30 people

hplasm
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Facepalm

"I care about not being blown to pieces when going about my daily business."

Stay in your home, citizen. Nice and safe.

Or move to the US, land of the brave- you should fit right in.

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hplasm
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Mushroom

Re: Not only in the capital

If the bastards win, that's when they will start the serious killing. Presumably all "infidel"s?

Infidels with nukes... won't end well.

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

hplasm
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Boffin

Re: Oh man

T connectors?

Not token ring- maybe Appletalk, econet or 10Base2 Ethernet...

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Ofcom wants to crack down on pisspoor BT Openreach biz lines

hplasm
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Meh

"... where the finance for the next generation of BT's network is supposed to come from."

Easy. Taxpayer handouts, again.

Don't expect results though.

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Boffins find a way to put your facial expression on Donald Trump's mug

hplasm
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Happy

Arnie has previous-

Framed as the Butcher of Bakersfield!

www.imdb.com/title/tt0093894/

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Microsoft sets date for SQL Server on Linux

hplasm
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Pirate

Re: This is a severe comment (or, maybe, severed?)

"Nah, they are al too busy writing apps in the 'R' language."

Like software Pirates? RRRRR!!

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Too Naked for the Nazis streaks to literary glory

hplasm
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Coat

A Cultural History of the Anus

Sequel to the poplular work 'Prehistoric Anuses.'

A forerunner to Hansard.

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Microsoft's Linux Inquisitor Grand Master is off to Spotify

hplasm
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Devil

I suppose-

That Spotify will only be updated on Win10 versions in the future...?

</see Skype>

(Yes, I know, it's more like a Nokia scenario...)

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